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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:24:23 AM | | Something that has bothered me after reading many of the ladies post have been the statement of similar to "as soon as we had sex, he broke it off with me, I guess he got what he wanted". I know this is sometimes true, but many times it isn't. It can mean that the relationship has moved along to a decision point and whether there was sex or there wasn't sex, guess what he finally decided? But it seems that if there was sex well the reason he broke it off is "obvious". | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:41:53 AM | OK. I read a few postings in regards to your question and a few women used words as "selective" and "picky" in regards to their reasoning for not having sex too early than added some long drawn out shit about being hurt and getting emotionally attached and being a "moral being". All I have to say about that is bullshit. Than I stopped reading the responses on the postings, so for that I apoligize.
Anyhow, when I read your question, I was like "Oh God...is this woman for real?" But than I read your profile, you are young and seem to attract yourself to dysfunctional relationships. Sorry for you.
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with having sex on the first date, sex at first sight, or whatever. I personally think I have a conscious and am moral. But, sex really has nothing to do with love. You will understand when you get closer to your 30's. :)
Men are just like us darling and they have feelings too. Learn how to love yourself, you might think "WTF is she talking about I do love myself". You may but don't show it. Take yourself off the floor, you are being a little door mat for this guy. No man will want to have a girlfriend that has no self-respect. No decent man at least. Not saying that the guy that is screwing you is.
Take time, go to the gym and lose some weight, think about what you want to do with your life and make a plan to accomplish that. You are young and as you age the weight issue will only get worst. I have a friend that is 47 and she is 270 pounds, she doesn't even eat that much and can't lose the weight. She gained the +/- 100 lbs from her mid 30's until now. We are working on that but it is alot easier to gain weight than to lose it because your body gets use to or craves the food you eat and with age, as everyone knows your metabolism slows down. Can you imagine what kind of things I tell her? She does well financially but boy she is just as bad as you when it comes to letting men use her. Don't compromise yourself in that way. Things can change.
Utilize the counselors at your nearby community college if you haven't done well in school in the past and don't have any options, get into the school, utilize their resources (i.e. counselors, mentors, etc) and map out your life. Then with time, that right guy will come along.
U will see the difference in the quality of a man that will be in your life. At your age, I am assuming your parents or family should be around during these tough times for you. Got friends?
You are so young, it just became legal for you to drink. Enjoy your life, work on yourself and stop having sex with your friend. If he is a friend of yours he should be telling you what I am telling you now. Surround yourself with a support network and realize some of those dreams or goals that you have had. If you don't have any, than sit back and think about what they should be.
As for sex with men. It is the most addicting and amazing thing in this world when the emotional aspect is involved. It has nothing to do with screwing him on date 1, 2, 3, or date 10,000. Carpe Diem. In life, sometimes you got to go with your feelings. If you sit around and analyze ever action you make, you might just miss out on "the moment". Oh yes, make sure you use a condom and be careful when meeting strange men online (meet in a public place). Life is short. Figure out your next trip, or whatever, but enjoy yourself and stop dwelling on trivial things because you may just be letting life slip past by. The answers will come to you with experience. Sometimes, the answers you get from people may not relate to anything you come to believe in. Life is trial and error. With that said, good luck.
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:59:42 AM | Listening to what you guys you have said.... I know he treats me like sh*t.
But then he does a lot of the stuff that 'couples' do to. e.g. buys me stuff, phones me 10 times a day, cuddles me, touches me a lot. He isnt to keen on kissing though... not even in sex---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friends dont treat each other like "shiit". Period. end of story. If so, I get rid of those kind of freinds. Now, if he is just a dumb cad, says "stupid" stuff, gets a little bit uppity about things...ok we can cut some people some slack for not being perfect. Remember, there is a big difference between being perfect, good, and a shiit treater. Do you really want a BF to phone you 10x a day? How do you get anything done at work. I call my gf 1x or 2x a day, but then again, we kiss a lot almost 24/7 on those dates, unless one of us is driving.
Are you two able to have an intelligent adult mature spiritual sincere conversation? If not, you or he or both need to read some good books on love, etc. Or just get rid of him, at least, tell him in person and write a similar note (a long one 1-2 pages) about THE GOOD THINGS you expect. dont harp on negatives, tell him what you want in a bf, the good things you like about him, AND THE PROBLEMS HE NEEDS TO IMPROVE ASAP. Let him know if he is unwilling or unable to make progress let alone miraculaous changes, you will break up with him.
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Take yourself off the floor, you are being a little doormat for this guy. No man will want to have a girlfriend that has no self-respect. No decent man at least. Not saying that the guy that is screwing you is. NGAT: thats basically what I said, unless she has broken it off, off the floor, doormant, girfriend, screwing you, etc.
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:09:11 AM |
I think its different for women... its harder not to get emotionally involved.
It's biologically programmed into you. Almost impossible not to, for women. It's clear, though, that he likes you a lot. Depends on what you want out of this activity. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:12:54 AM | I learned a very long time ago that sex is all in your head. While you may be feeling intimate and real connected, he may be detached or indifferent.
Mechanically, sex is pretty much the same, no matter who you're with; but, when your head is telling you "this is awesome" or "I am in love here" it feels like more.
Guys feel emotions, it just depends on their state of mind.
If you want to see some emotion from him in the sack, just laugh when he's finished. That should work. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:16:16 AM | do men feel anything emotionally when they have sex? lets put it this way, a guy can have sex for the sake of sex and not get too personal about it.
long as your ok with the relationship, why change anything? you may enjoy the sex more if you get your emotions out of it.
women can learn to do this, just takes some practice. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:18:45 AM | Nobody listens to me. lol
I always tell people that there is no such thing as friends with benefits. This is exactly what I'm talking about.
Anyway, no, of course feel something emotionally. The difference is what we feel. For us it's like saying "Don't worry, somebody doesn't think you're Quazimodo's ugly brother". Work from that point and it all starts to make sense. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:27:46 AM | Either A) you are the most incredible romp in the sack this man has ever experienced or B) he does feel something because he has spent two years with you.
Now, I highly doubt its A) because if it were he would be professing his undying love for you... which means it must be B).
Perhaps you are just looking for words that have no meaning?
Perhaps if you need to hear something he is unwilling or unable to say, you should walk away and take whats left of your self respect with you? | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:45:08 AM | Kristie - you are wise to question your decisions these past 2 years and wiser yet to address the deeper issue: self-confidence and a desire to be loved and wanted.
You are not alone in your youthful discovery that offering sex does not guarantee someone will love you. I applaud your awakening and courage to stop this on-going confidence destroying behavior.
Your 'friend' was/is upfront about his intentions, thoughts and feelings. The penis does not influence the heart yet has great control on the head; trust and respect him when he says he wants only a friend ... then decide if sex without love and commitment is right for you.
And yes, neurologically and hormonally women are wired differently when it comes to love and sex ... be grateful your friend was honest from day one, trust and companionship offer a great foundation for friendship. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:00:08 PM | I personally don't know where the stats are that says women are wired differently as far as their emotional capacity when it comes to having sex. It sounds like bullshit to me. I have a group of friends and they all are different in regards to how they feel about things according to their experience.
I say this because I too was in a similar situation, where I was trying to have my cake and eat it too. Out of habit I always try to I guess. Love and life sometimes just becomes a game and we are just a piece on the chess board.
I did not want to be in a relationship, because a bfgf relationship means alot to me. However I did offer the FWB relationship. My guy, 22 then, refused verbally, however physically it was difficult for him because being a little older I know how to push a man's buttons, but he was smart and wise enough to not put him in that position after a while.
With him I was thinking more with my head than my heart. So was he, therefore we are still friends and I still care about him, and still yearn for him at times, but my head tells me not to pursue, my heart sometimes will pursue. I called him yesterday, a little upset that my emails were not being acknowledged. He hasn't had internet access since he left for his winter break to stay with his Mother. It was nice to hear his voice. Sweet guy. But for many reasons things just have to be as they are.
Male, female, bi-sexual, homosexual, or whatever we all have feelings. This guy, especially someone that age (less baggage), a man-no less, has an immense capacity to feel emotionally and know love. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:57:36 PM | personally don't know where the stats are that says women are wired differently as far as their emotional capacity when it comes to having sex. It sounds like bullshit to me. I have a group of friends and they all are different in regards to how they feel about things according to their experience.
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I dont know what "wired differently" really means, since its a slang term..but nearly every biologist, psychologist, anthropologist, etc agrees: "female animals have different reproductive goals and strategies than males". Anyone wanna bet $10 or...?
But thats totally indirect to OP's question. Male humans do feel emotions, maybe not as much as females, but, I think we have answered the question. Being a dumbass is different than being a man, at least 40% of the time. | |
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| STOP!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:58:21 PM | toodaysman: Break up with what? They are not in a relationship. ???? OP: As I said, wisdom comes with time. Work on yourself.
OP.
Stop. Listen. Do
listen to ngat73 if you don't want to listen to me. but stop everything. don't do another post. just listen.
I know your type. You don't want to face up to something in your mind so you come out here to try and get validation for your cowardice. We all feel for you but you gotta cut that shit out. The wise people on here are not gonna validate you. comprende? | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 6:38:57 PM | that sam i am wrote:
sometimes it's anger or hate. Like ever heard of a Hate FROCK? It's like intense too. It's not always love ya know.
Someone mentioned this once and I didn't know WTF they were talking about. I can see 2 ways to Hate FROCK.
1) you FROCK someone else because you are so upset with your lover. You do it to get back at them in your own mind. letting them know you did it is optional. Either way you defile yourself because the hate is greater than your own self-respect.
2) You hate yourself for being weak and allowing yourself to be disrespected so you FROCK anyway to punish yourself. it may be like cutting yourself too because it is physical and distracts you from other pain. it might be that you disrespect both yourself and the other.
moral of the story?
hate is bad.
learn to forgive yourself
toodaysman wrote:
Being a dumbass is different than being a man, at least 40% of the time.
That's priceless :)
Can I use it?
Tell me, which percentile were you in when you came up with the spelling for your user name?
If you're a female masquerading as a man for "research" purposes, you may disregard the question.
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:15:20 PM | I think they feel the sex and it feels good, at least that's what I've heard.
It can be very good, doesn't mean they want it again, with that person.
If they want it again, and again and again, on an ongoing basis, like your guy friend, I'd say there's definately some strong emotions happening.
Only way to ease your mind, save your self-respect, and move on if need be, is to call him on it.
Announce your intention to remain his FRIEND, on a strictly PLATONIC basis only.
State plainly that your feelings for him run alot deeper than freinds, and you don't want or need to be hurt by this situaton anymore.
If you can't respect yourself, enough to do this, and stick to it, you'll either remain trapped in a situation you don't want, and aren't satified with, or you'll cut your ties with him completely, and never know if things could have been different. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:12:55 PM | omg ..i kinda have the same kinda problem..its ridiculous ..and i dont think its coz u slept with him then ..he would of prolly said the same thing after a while ..some men just CANT comit or admit they have feeling ....and hey think of it this way ..u are still in his life ..and he still wants u there ..so that must mean something;) lol ...if he didnt care bout u he would of stopped talking to you long before ..just have patience and hopefully one day he will admit the obvious . good luck
to answer your question though ..Some men have no emotions what so ever ,,they are just animals in heat ....But i like to believe that most men do have feelings and emotions :) | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:16:42 PM | | Some men do feel emotions during sex. I'm like the guy you fell for. I don't feel emotions during sex. Sex means nothing to me. I had guys fall for me after sometime in friends with benefits. I told them in the beginning I wanted no relationship or to date them. I don't understand how anyone can feel anything during sex. Its just an action to cure a itch. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:25:38 PM |
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Well, I usually feel pretty damned good. But then, I can't remember the last time I had sex with someone I didn't already care a lot about. What would be the point?
And lordy it's SO much better when you know she's enjoying it, too! | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:31:51 PM | thats the problem wih the FWB situation...he sees you as a 'friend with benefits' fullstop, and i dont know how some men can keep this going for a long length of time...but they do...and unless you're the type of woman that is wired that way also, ie, easily detaches after sex, FWB, is not the ideal situation for you...it's very difficult for guys to make the transition from FWB to 'relationship' once they are in that sitution imo...
and im sure he is emotionally and physically attached to you while he is being intimate with you and doing the 'friends' thing, but once you are gone im sure you are gone from his mind also, coz if he couldn't live without you he would be offering you something more.....that wouldn't be enough for me, but if you can handle it, then it's all good, but if not just tell him how you feel and be prepared to lose him if you have to....jmo... | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:35:35 PM | There is another post out there asking the question what the difference is between having sex and making love. Unfortunately, I think us guys are able to 'have sex' more easily than women. We aren't, by nature, emotional people. Think about it. If two guys meet at a mall and give each other a hug, your first thought is "they are gay". Two women hugging? Not the same reaction.
I've had sex with women and it does feel good. REALLYYYY GOOOOD. But making love???? That's where the emotions come in, for me anyway. | |
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