| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:36:23 PM | OP....I have seen a couple threads on this in the last couple months....don't know how to search them, so can't show you where they are....but the question was asked of the men:
"Can you go from being a FWB to being a girlfriend?"
(this is a huge simplification)
The answer resoundingly from the men was "NO"
Another question....
"Can you go from being a GF to being a FWB?"
The answer resoundingly from the men was "YES"
Inotherwords, it would appear you can LOSE your status....(why guys still will sleep with you even if they break up with you...AND will sleep with any of their ex gf's that will sleep with them).....but you cannot IMPROVE your status.
They either see you as gf material or they don't. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:45:29 PM | Emotion ... for sure. Lots of people seem to be afraid of emotions but they can be so empowering.
But you're 21 ... tell me this guy is close to your age, please.
The thing is, sex won't make a person love another, irrespective of gender. However, bad sex could break up a good relationship, even when the "Terminator" loves the lousy lover.
Sex isn't love. Having sex with someone you love isn't making love. Making love to/with someone you love ... now that's something. If you at the very least got to make love to this guy while you loved him, well, you got more out him than he did out of you. If you've come to the realization that there is no future, then end it now ... but then I always eat what I don't like first.
And to be totally lame, there's an expression about: "If you love someone, set them free" or something like that. The thing is, if he comes back to you, maybe he learned that he loves you. You do do a great deal together. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:43:20 PM | I knew the answer to 'do you have children' before I even clicked on your profile. And I figured if I was wrong you don't have any boys.
Of course they feel something. When you see your 5-year-old come home totally humiliated because not only was his Valentine accepted during an all girl's party when he knowcked at the door - but now everyone in grade one knows about it - you'll get a better picture of what toughens guys up. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:46:12 PM | 3clubmonkey said:
And to be totally lame, there's an expression about: "If you love someone, set them free" or something like that. The thing is, if he comes back to you, maybe he learned that he loves you. You do do a great deal together.
If he comes back, he's probably got borderline personality disorder
http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/basics/indicators.shtml
In love, there is madness. In madness, there is reason.
On seconds thoughts, don't stop. Because if you do, it will be based on the advice from this forum and that will always leave you with a bit of doubt in your mind. Keep going until things crash really badly so that you can internalise the lesson properly and you won't keep repeating your mistakes for the rest of your young life. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:14:35 AM | Some men do feel emotions during sex. I'm like the guy you fell for. I don't feel emotions during sex. Sex means nothing to me. I had guys fall for me after sometime in friends with benefits. I told them in the beginning I wanted no relationship or to date them. I don't understand how anyone can feel anything during sex. Its just an action to cure a itch.
You can barely relate when you are depressed.
Depression is not nice.
Someone says they want your shell but they don't want YOU, that is incredibly invalidating. That is a horrible program to run on your system. Causal to depression I would suggest. Usually there are a bunch of causes tho - like living with a BPD for instance. It's never simple.
People, including friends, don't see this. Depression is so common yet so misunderstood. A horrible disease that eats it's host alive from the inside out.
Damn dood, just read your Pfile. And now I really, really, really mean it. SCAREFECKINGEEEEE, lol.woahhhhhhh nelly. We have a potential winner of the closet psychopath award !!!
But hey at the same time. Your obviously intelligent. Ummm.
The intelligent ones are the scariest ;)
Thanks bro.
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:32:58 AM |
Do men feel anything emotionally when they have sex or is all just physical???
It's interesting you take one situation dealing with exactly one man and make a broad generalization about all men because of it.
If you were a guy and you said the same thing about women on this forum, you would have been trashed by other posters, your post reported to the moderators and continually chastised for thinking all women behave a certain way because one woman did so.
That's "equality" for you right?
Do men feel emotions during sex? Well the answer is the same for women under the same question.
Some do, some don't, there really isn't a rhyme or reason why it happens.
I think the big problem is most to many to nearly all women tend to make a base assumption that men will and should just suck it up whenever they are going through a difficult time or have a situation likely to elicit an emotional reaction.
This is how it looks to most men, based on how most women treat them -
If most women decide to complain, they are "communicating" and "being open"
If most men decide to complain, they are just a bunch of punk losers who will never get the poon ever.
I enjoy the irony of it all, watching most women accuse most men of lacking the capacity for emotional release when it's often most women who refuse to show men any kind of empathy at all and proceed to punish them when they do show it.
Ladies, you aren't the only ones with problems in life ( although it seems many to most to nearly all women seem to behave that way from my perspective) and it's not just about what you want and what you need and how you feel. Men actually have feelings too. Most of these men would actually show them sometimes if most to many to nearly all women could muster up even one shred of compassion or sympathy for what most men have to go through on a daily basis.
OP, one man, that's right, just ONE MAN screwed you, both literally and figuratively. One man did it. Not all men. Not most men. Not even close.
But I guess we all have to pick up the tab anyway.
Do women feel anything emotionally when they reject a man for dating because he's just not good looking enough??
Do women feel anything emotionally when they reject a man for dating because he's not taller than them in three inch heels???
Do women feel anything emotionally when they reject a man because he doesn't have a job they consider "socially acceptable"???
How do you like those hypothetical questions. Do they make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? Do you think they sound fair?
The irony is your question, basically asking if men have the ability to show empathy to women, is really showing how just one specific women is pretty much showing no empathy to all men period.
Emotions. Everyone has them. Everyone feels them. But it seems in this thread only women get to claim them as valid and present. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:53:56 AM | [You can barely relate when you are depressed.]
Your wrong there. My depression has nothing to do with the fact I know guys who are very emotional. They complained to me about women not wanting to commit. No shit depression eats you from inside. I've heard how people can feel things. I just don't get how you can be attached to someone just from curing the itch. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:02:18 AM | | I think what he is doing is having sex with you because he likes you but he doesnt see you as a long term proposition and is just using you.....or he is commitment phobic and is terrified of not having the fun single life anymore and he is missing out on the good life as he sees it | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:12:40 AM | I've heard how people can feel things. I just don't get how you can be attached to someone just from curing the itch.
fair nuff.
not meaning to sound anti, but I conversely don't know how someone gets to the point where they would allow someone to use their body to scratch an itch. At least I am learning I suppose. People come from a wide range of experiences and beliefs.
I wasn't referring to depression having to do with knowledge as to whether or not guys can feel. I meant it may have something to do with your own ability to feel anything emotional during sex. In my experience with depression, music I used to like would irritate me, food I used to enjoy would lose it's taste, the list goes on. stands to reason that depression might make you "feel" less while having sex.
to say that I can be a bit esoteric at times would be the understatement of the century. Sometimes I should say less. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:47:02 AM |
Ladies, you aren't the only ones with problems in life ( although it seems many to most to nearly all women seem to behave that way from my perspective) and it's not just about what you want and what you need and how you feel. Men actually have feelings too. Most of these men would actually show them sometimes if most to many to nearly all women could muster up even one shred of compassion or sympathy for what most men have to go through on a daily basis.
QFT. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:23:41 AM | Quoted for Truth. I'd write a little more if you weren't struggling so hard. I suggest reading Ultimateheartsurgeon's posts a few times, because there are gems of truth in them.
ve known more than one woman. Who thought HER feelings. Were the begin all/ end all of feelings. And feck everyone else's.
Welcome to the world of egocentric Western women. Not all of them are like that, but a good majority of them are. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:12:08 AM | Very good question. But me being me read more in to it, i think may b us girls need to toughen up. And not let our emotions run wild other wise we do get hurt.
I have learned that is what i need to do as then i dont get involved and hurt even get my heart broken. I myself am becomin emotionless in some situations and am not gonin to get walked over anymore.....
Me as a person......................................................... | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:43:00 AM |
i think may b us girls need to toughen up
ok, so the plan is...
to improve your love life, love less?
Getting a clue is not the same as toughening up. If you become more aware of yourself and relationships, you will need less defenses, not more. Because you will be able to recognise threats from further a field and be proactive about handling them before they get to the stage of this OP.
toughened up = overly defensive = insecure = not much love = unhappiness = waste of life
anyone wanna break that chain for me? | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 4:12:19 AM | Kirstie,
As far as men falling in love just because they are having sex with a woman is something that can be done but not always happens because they think as long as they are getting the milk for free ya don't have to buy the cow. However, with me I have to have an emotional attachment with a woman nowadays to even think about having sex with her. Back in my teenage years it wasn't that much of a thing because it was just about getting some and being happy that I did. The older that I have gotten the more I have come to realize that sex without meaning is just that sex and nothing more and believe me that is not what I am wanting out of life. I know that my lady can feel the passion that I have for her with every touch and she has even asked me if it will always be this passionate and of course it will be because of the love we share and that is what love is all about...two people becoming one and having the emotional attachment and the ability to feel each other's love. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 4:20:48 AM | Unless you are dead....you "feel" something!
Now the paradox of feelings/emotions....or feelings vs. emotions. It is impossible not to feel something, whether it's during sex or not. You feel pleasure, you feel pain, satisfied, empty, hollow, shallow, confused, tired or exhilarated. But you do "feel!"
Emotions such as love, hate, joy, anger and frustration require intensity/strong feelings as I call it. Love is not always attached to the sexual act. Some people, male and female, can enjoy each other sexually, without forming serious bonds, or without a "love" attachment. There is, however, a physical bond, or what we refer to as "chemistry", which may, or may not, lead to something else.
Then you have people who can be together for the sole purpose of sexual gratification. These are usually the "one night stands". But even these require some form of feelings....pleasure, satisfaction, fulfillment, etc. etc. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:42:14 AM | Not quite who to improve your love life? erm u lost me. did i mention i wanted to improve my love life? I thought i placed a view on that topic in question, not saying i needed improvement and lovin less.
I thought this forum was about men having emotions when havin sex. hmmm correct me if im wrong.
But ill take your words on that topic on board. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:07:46 AM | Besides, what I said about men and kind of off topic. Don't yo find it kind of creepy when men give you too much feeling and show too much emotion when they barely know you. That is why timing and circumstances in meeting make so much difference. Chemistry has to be mutual. That is why all those loves songs refer love to the equivalence of a dance. If you don't feel if he is on the same level with you than hold yourself back, or keep your emotions on board for a bit and wait it out until he is comfortable to reveal his true emotions. IF you pressure long before he is ready you might just close him off in trying to communicate with you.
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:24:13 PM | | LadyofYouth...I was gonna mail you this suggestion, but your perameters forbade it....so....have ya tried giving him a kiss on the cheek? You've been friends for 3 years, so sometime when he's around and you're close and he does something nice, try it. I wanted to so many times when there was this one guy in my life, and I never did. Years later, I found out he had felt the same way toward me, but was too bashful and thought I wasn't into him! Just something to think about. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:38:00 PM | hi Solar Panel,
Thanks for your input as l have often wondered about the sex - love thing. l am very emotional when making love and l am glad to hear the there are men who feel the same way. Like you l need to be in love to really enjoy it and when in love l can have sex for sex sake, but to do it just with anyone is a different story.
By the way , l tried it to , sex for sex sake only and found it to be a cheap thrill only and not feeling good about my self | |
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