| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:57:02 AM | I feel anxiety, fear, hopelessness, doubt, confusion.
"I hope she doesn't laugh, please don't laugh, come on little buddy don't fail me now. :( Grrr.... Ohh man I don't know how to do this. Tooo much pressure, I think I can, I think I can." | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/7/2008 3:31:46 PM | Unlike the female of most species, the male of most species is capable of the act of sex without the feeling of love.
haha, as is the female. Many still haven't let go of that cavewoman mentality that generations of mothers have instilled in us.
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You are both correct! Congrats, the females and males of most species do not feel any love at all. Humans can, most monkeys, many canines, perhaps birds, a few rare lizards. I was in love with a lizard once, it was so awesome. So keep those posts coming, always gems of info to be learned about sex and dating from some of you. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:41:40 PM | your just a dumb kid high on being called Doctor" I know and dated gazillions, pathetic men, big egos. Stop looking to equate mindblowing orgasm as love and marriage. There are so many Godless men here, grow up, many of you already blew apart your families.
Love is sacrifice, doctor. Sacrifice yourself to one whose heart touches you and have those kids before you drown in your own mirror. Fed up with ALL the immature men :modhammer: | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:44:55 PM | I certainly appreciate the male point of view..
But, sometimes it is difficult to understand someone who keeps telling you how evil you are?
OT: I think that of course men feel emotions during sex..if the woman they are with they have feelings for to begin with..the mistake many women seem to make is that if you keep having sex with him..that alone will make him feel closer to you, or begin to love you. Because, for many women, that's what almost always happens to us. But, for many men it doesn't. Whether it's biology, upbringing, society, chemicals..whatever it is..we are different..and we will never get along unless we can somehow come to terms and accept those differences...and quit assuming that because that's how we see/think/feel...thus , so do they. | |
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Posted: 1/7/2008 8:56:32 PM |
btw MSH, is U have any women chained up in your basement. Ya better let em go. Bad Karma is a bytch. ... ;)
You know you can just ask if you want one of em. No need to beat about the bush. What are mates for. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:43:14 AM |
Do men feel anything emotionally when they have sex or is all just physical???
What do you mean by emotional? Sex is one of the most primitive desires of all animal species. It's pleasurable, but not so much emotional. Forget all the BS you've read about in all of those New Age books, sex was never meant to be an emotional experience. Sex is just sex; primal, rough (although it could be gentle), and extremely pleasure filled. (don't you wonder what I'm like in bed? ;) LOL, but seriously...
Holding hands, kissing in public, dining out, a bottle of wine, a pot of tea, a walk through the park, a nice conversation, sharing hobbies, doing things together, aka "dating" is an emotional experience. All of the tings two people do together in public have a higher sense of meaning because they are are not afraid to let the entire world know about it; ok, I'm prepared for someone to mention public sex LOL, but no one is making a porno here, and besides, pornos are purely for profit and that type of sex has absolutly NO meaning whatsoever.
I hope my point in sex not being "emotional" is taken as I always try to back up my opinions (same reason why people masturbate to pornography). So no... sex is just sex... If a man treats you right, then he's a keeper, otherwise, just go out and HAVE SEX!
Someone once told me about the 1 - 5 scale.
1. No way in hell
2. You'd have sex with her, but you would never tell your friends about it.
3. You'd have sex with her and tell your friends about it. (not sure if that sounds right)
4. (I forgot what four is... I'll have to ask him again...) I think it's something like, she could be worth the effor to get to know or something like that...
5. She's marriage material.
So what does this scale have to do with anything? Well, the question of sex as being "emotional" was asked and I've provided an example of a typical man's conversation with each other at the bar. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:16:02 AM | I have not been in the situation you described, OP, however, I feel your pain and I feel empathy for you.
If I WERE in your situation, here is what I would do in this order.
1. Let the man know that you are terminating the friendship, sex........everything. Take charge of you own life, your own choices.
2. Never go back to him, you are wasting your time. What you are doing is chewing on cardboard, hoping if you chew long enough, it will turn into a juicy steak.
IT WON'T HAPPEN!
3. Read the book "Co-Dependent No More"
4. Go to a Counselor or Therapist or Psychiatrist WHILE YOU ARE YOUNG! It will save you many years of choosing the wrong men.
Follow these steps, you will be a happier, healthier and more secure woman when you do.
Blessings & happiness to you, OP. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:22:30 AM | | Some people (both men & women) control their emotions better then others when it comes to sex. Bottom line is people have different ideas of sex and love, and can seperate the two (or not). I have had realtionships where I felt close to a woman and the sex was fantastic, but I could never say I felt "in love" with them at all...just a good friend that I cared about, and enjoyed giving them pleasure. I have also "fallen" for someone that I was having sex with, but it wasn't all about the sex, either. Looking back, I realized that I was hoping that I could have a permanent relationship with this person, and that pretty much goes hand in hand with the love thing. But I do know there are plenty of women who can be completely detached emotionally when it comes to sex! So it goes both ways... | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:46:51 AM | I think men do feel emotions, but it depends on who they are with at the time. There's chemistry and there's compatibility and while it'd be great if the two were both there at the same time, it doesn't always happen. If I were you, I would ask myself if this is ever going to change, and where do I want to be 5 years from now? I read somewhere that a man doesn't change how he feels about a woman after he's had sex with her, there has to be more to their relationship than just that, so it's up to you to figure out what you really want before you make a decision to stay, or walk away. 
Pink | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:09:42 AM |
Kirstie_uk; Msg: 162 - 'Good enough to have a go on her though?' maybe he thinks this about me?
Perhaps if you ask him what he means - ^ he might let you know??
Playgirl23; Msg: 148 - may b each to their own i guess.
I disagreed with your comment out of concern, - that stemmed from personal awareness & professional experience in the medical field.
However, "each to their own."
...people never stop having emotions. We cannot prevent the arousal of emotional energy in response to specific events any more than we can prevent breathing or thinking.
I recommend people read the whole article; The Power of Emotion - http://www.thinkingpeace.com/Lib/lib086.htm
MrSnapHappy; Msg: 154 - Syreeta, post 138. You made me want to pick up my Daniel Goleman book and finish reading it (found it a bit dry). Thanks for condensing all that stuff and articulating the alternate path (chain) to the toughening up path. Hi five on the team effort there!
Hi5 & thanks for your posts - this thread. Which book did you read? I getya - (found it a bit dry) 
His work - Social & EI Programs has been/is being included into the curriculum - schools internationally, & they're currently studying the feasibility of introducing EI programs into work places as well.
*UltimateHeartSurgeon*; Msg: 117 - Do men feel emotions during sex? Well the answer is the same for women under the same question.
Some do, some don't, there really isn't a rhyme or reason why it happens.
I've noticed that there's actually several rhymes & reasons showing - why it happens within this thread.
Many of the people that have put in posts deserve 
womanofpassion2007; Msg: 139 - I'd say about 95% of them only feel physically....sex isn't an emotional experience like it is for women.....that's a fact and we might as well accept it.....If sex is going to attach you emotionally to a guy, just don't go there.
Many people lack understanding just - sex, let alone this subject regarding emotions - sex..I somehow don't think we'll ever know for sure - what extent adults are lacking understanding, however, (utilizing just 1 example) - study shows;
Millions of Americans find it hard to talk about sex.
Nearly 9 in 10 men in relationships with women reported serious problems articulating their needs and desires. Of the women respondents in heterosexual relationships, half reported some difficulties articulating their needs and desires when talking to their partners about sex. The findings cut across all age categories, from teens to seniors.
In sharp contrast, most men and women in same-sex relationships said it was easy to discuss sex.
While critics and the survey takers alike say the study, because of online data gathering, is not scientific, the findings do reflect what therapists hear in practice. "I see couples married 20 or 30 years and they're still having problems, says psychologist Linda Carter, director of the Family Studies Program at New York University Medical Center. "People have told me they've never talked about how they wanted sex, where they wanted it, and when they wanted it."
The good news? Shortcomings can be remedied and the lines of communication opened, experts say, if both partners are willing to work on it, change some bad habits, and talk.
http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/Sex/sexpsych/good_sex/secret_to_good_sex.htm
There are many other articles there as well, such as; Men, Sex, and Emotional Connection; http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/Sex/sexpsych/women_sex/men_connection.htm | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:01:31 AM | | As a man yes I do feel something. I would not have sex with someone if I didn't love them. Sex is for having children but it feels good with the person you love so I don't want thousands of kids. Sex is a plus on top of someone loving you. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/27/2008 4:11:21 PM | Ah, I love how women do this... One guy screws them over and all of a sudden, all men are blamed or at least questioned.
Some men aren't capable of a monogamous, emotional/mental relationship and some are willing to throw themselves into something serious. You shouldn't even have to ask.
In my opinion, it's your fault for getting involved with him after you knew (which you admitted to, good for you) that he wanted nothing else from you but 'friendship'. Also, did you just say you fell for him because you were sleeping with him? Yeeesh! Careful. | |
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jetjim
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Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 166 | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/27/2008 6:45:22 PM | Depending on the situation, like a one night stand, several drinks, not looking for serious, a lustful moment, I'd say they don't feel or have an emotional connection to the person they just shagged. Like women, if we are only looking for fun we don't have any emotional bond with the guy we just had sex with. Men are not wired like women in the emotion arena. They have them, unless they are totally empty inside.
But if you're with someone for along period of time, you develope deeper feelings for that person. You would hope. Unfortunately even though they may care about you, maybe they are not longer attracted to you in a sexual way and lose interest and then eventually drift away. Or maybe he's just a selfish git and figured you weren't what he wanted anymore and left. Communication is the greatest tool when were with other people, sadly we don't use it. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/27/2008 7:00:04 PM | | umm i dont feel anything from having sex either...Its friction...not a love generator... I wouldnt have sex with someone in a FWB situation but i wouldnt say sex will cause love. Your friendship is far more likely to do that....frankly it sounds like you thought you could make him love you with enough time...and he just liked getting laid. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/27/2008 11:24:48 PM | If you go out together, regularly and have sex regularly . . you Are Boy/Girlfriend . . !
If he still considers it a ' F W B '-type relationship . .
but you think it _Should_ be more . .
Maybe you should find a more dedicated Guy . . !! . .  . . | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 1:16:21 AM | | As per the case referred to in the opost, I think that the title of the opost is misleading (and a different topic, IMO). The guy treats the OP as a GF (best friends, see each other every day, have sex, etc, ie that is NOT a FwBs rel, it is a GF/BF rel), merely does not call her a "GF". What's in a title? Maybe he has the so called "commitment" issues, but the GF/BF rel seems to be in essence there. So what's the problem? Marriage? | |
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_dar_
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Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 174 | |
| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 7:42:15 AM | lol very true!
but kristie_uk, honestly, i was in your exact situation!! i was looking for the same answers you are... and when it came down to it, i realized i couldnt keep beating myself for what if's. it sucks. i know. we've all been there - at one point. as much as it hurts, drop the FWB and it'll help you move on. if you two decide on remaining friends then thats great... youre friendship will be healthier without the in betweens and especially since youve both come to know each other at an intimate level. if he refuses to remain friends without the casual sex... then he's not worth your time and you can do so much better. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 7:55:22 AM | | Men were put here to drop sperm and very seldom feel anything but a need to do just that,,,But if lucky two souls will mesh and then you have a loving man and magic for a Life time, Most men are frigid as they have to keep looking as they have never found the right woman to be all things to him ...This came from a shrink with a Phd. | |
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