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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:28:05 PM | this guy is a cad. you aren't happy in this arrangement are you? this isn't a real relationship. it's half of one and you deserve to be loved and be with someone who will let you love him. this guy doesn't love you and he never will. best to stop wasting your time with him and move on. run away!
lara | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 5:09:24 PM | lancetyrell~
see, the thing about most women... the key word here is most... is that we can't separate love and sex the way men can.. if we are having sex with you it is because we like you...or maybe even love you... but you men are different...
you may see it as,"well, we both had a good time..." but women don't see it that way. most women are looking for love and for a real relationship, having sex with someone even if it is great is just not enough AT ALL... and most women can't sleep with a guy for a period of months and or years without feeling an attachment to him...
you guys aren't like that... for you, there is the ability to completely separate lust and love and i truly think that is why there is so much miscommunication and lack of understanding between the sexes...and why so many women end up getting hurt by you guys... lol!
lara | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 5:16:48 PM | That's why I have always said and stil believe sex with bennies does not work out
for anyone ugh
I tried it with 2 exs just becasue I wanted sex and affection and I knew them, knew they cared about me I knew they were great in bed
and I thought I could handle it
but I could notttttt
I got all attached all over again ugh
and one did and one did not
sooooooooooo
I would get out and away from this guy
He is obviously in a relationship with you
but is a commitment phobic and
unless he is willing to change and get help and since you care so m uch I would ask him if he is..
but if he is not
then say Gooby as soon as you can
This type of relationship is so delitarious to your self esteem
and is only benefiting him right now
is he married and you do not know it???
so talk to him and say all you said here
and then if he refused to change, I would get out it is so painful to be in love when they are not and are this ridiculous about commitment...
easier said than done I realize since you are in love but ugh I could never handle this and I think you deserve better... I think we all do...
Next time,,please no offense but do not do not go to bed with the guy on the first night or second or third
find out who they are what they want and act like a detective for yourself
okkkkkkkkkk
so this way this cant happen again
Good Luck | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 5:22:47 PM | Yes Lance she wanted it then duh
lol but her feelings have changed and its been 2 years or m aybe she fell in love that night... so
what is your point??! that because she enjoyed the sex 2 years ago one night its ok he is such an idiot commitment phobic
when I know and can feel a man is into me in a way I am not I would neverrrrrrrrrr ever put them through this
it is soooooo selfish
sure it would be great for me ifffff I was selfish but I am not
and I would hate it
its like when you guys say when you have sex with a woman who seems like she is just lying there going along with it and not into it
a good guy will admit he does nottttttt like that
since he wants her to be happy and to m ake her happy
and it feels creepy if she is just doing this for him
a creepy guy will take advantage of this type
and oops
thats what we are talking about
so lance how does her wanting sex 2 years ago with him make all his probs and selfishness ok ????
are you feeling guilty about something lance??
lol hahhaha
lol | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 7:27:51 PM | There's this movie, whose name evades my mind. But it's a story about a promiscuous man who had sex with lots of woman, but finally found the one woman who's his "equal". Here's what he said in response to love making to her "the joy of love making outlasted the sensual pleasure itself, which for me is the first time."
The implication is, any human being will feel something deeply emotional when making love to the one he/she loves. Making love completes the circle of connection between two lovers. If the deep emotional connection isn't already there, nobody - not man, not woman - is going to get emotional over a loveless affair.
Anyway, I'm not an anthority on this subject. I've never done it with anybody  I'm impotent
Oh yes! Dangerous liasons! I remember the movie's title now - great movie. You should see it. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 7:49:16 PM | Dear Lara:
Though I agree this fellow is a cad, the lady in question ALLOWED herself to be used. Not only allowed Lara but accepted the circumstances for quite a lengthy period.
if we are having sex with you it is because we like you...or maybe even love you... but you men are different...
The OP gave up the goods the first night. Setting the precedent for the rest of the relationship. ON HIS TERMS. Did the OP think this the way to lasso a boyfriend??? Many women actually DO think this way.
Please don't generalize ALL men either Lara. This shows a stereotypical mentality against all women on your part. I don't think ALL women think the same as you in this respect. I hope not anyway.
you guys aren't like that... for you, there is the ability to completely separate lust and love and i truly think that is why there is so much miscommunication and lack of understanding between the sexes...and why so many women end up getting hurt by you guys... lol!
There you go again Lara with the stereotypical view you are trying to impress upon me and others as to ALL womens take on men? You then end your remarks with lol. Do you also find it humourous to group all men this way Lara? I certainly hope not for your sake.
I certainly hope a number of women take offense to your remarks.
The fact you put up with this behaviour for so long clearly shows a self esteem issue on your part OP. I hope you kick this guy to the curb and work on a happier you before hitting the dating scene again.
Best wishes.
I thank you. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 8:21:57 PM |
After he got what he wanted
You said it all, right there.
'friends with benefits'
You're being used.
Do men feel anything emotionally when they have sex or is all just physical??? Yes. But obviously not the one you are "with"
You get what you settle for.
Break it off and move on. You're too valuable to give yourself away like that.
go here
http://www.worldometers.info/
and look at the world population. You know how many of them are men, and how many of those men are a BETTER match (and possible mate) for you than this one?
I would tell him "kiss off" and set him up with Lorena Bobbitt. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:00:10 PM |
jennyann68 wrote:
Men were put here to drop sperm and very seldom feel anything but a need to do just that,,,But if lucky two souls will mesh and then you have a loving man and magic for a Life time, Most men are frigid as they have to keep looking as they have never found the right woman to be all things to him ...This came from a shrink with a Phd.
I'm guessing that either you're misquoting the shrink,
or else the shrink has no knowledge of men.
CJ | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:31:56 PM | I like the way you think solarpanel..."sex-only" relationships, takes a piece of you away from you..no pun intended here. It seriously disables your self esteem over time. I have watched this with a friend of mine for years until she finally wised up and valued herself. She is now with a really great guy because she took her time to smell the roses before embarking on a sexual relationship. Its refreshing to hear your point of view..thank you for valuing yourself and others..I always wondered how men feel about this subject.
Warm thought,
Tam | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/28/2008 10:01:54 PM | | You're joking, right OP? When I was in love with my ex, it was simply magic. I felt as close a bond between two people as you could get. But the relationship was built first on love for each other, to give something back to the other rather than taking, and I think THAT's what made it special. This relationship sounded like one gave and one took. I think guys generally don't care if it's just friends with benefits or a one night stand. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:19:32 AM | | I've had sex with women just for fun, but not many times. Maybe twice. The sex is just no where near a good as it is with someone I have real feelings for to the extent that I'd almost rather go without than just have sex just to scratch an itch. Having sex with someone I don't have feelings for doesn't really scratch the itch anyway. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:36:23 AM | I think it is possible for some men to have sex with a woman and have no emotional feeling about either the act itself, or towards the woman they are doing it with. It is also common for men to engage in sexual acts (such as masturbation) which are purely about physical pleasure alone and have nothing to do with loving anyone.
Even so, I think many men would want to love the woman they have sex with, and hope the woman loves him back. But I think these days it is not realistic to expect that everyone of either sex always will have sex with someone for love. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:43:40 AM | Of course we feel emotion when we are having sex. However, it does seem to be an accepted fact that men can be better at dealing with the "friends with benefits" situation and keeping a nice and casual thing going.
Personally, i have only ever done the friends with benefits thing with people who were friends first....we we're both getting what we wanted and needed at the time and we both cared for each other.
It's perfectly fine to have sex with someone your not "in love with" in my mind, once both parties are aware of whats happening and what the rules are. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/29/2008 12:41:33 PM | Spaceman~
you are missing the point.
"she gave up the goods on the first night..."
do you really believe this stuff? why are women somehow disrespected by men when they have sex with them? whenever i hear a man make reference to a woman sleeping with him to soon, i always have to say, "you did it too didn't you?," and why has it been put upon women to be the arbiters of a man's morality? women like sex too.
look, i don't think ALL men are cads. actually there are a lot of really nice guys out there...what i was doing was pointing out that there is a difference between men and women in the way that they view sex and love. it is a scientifically proven fact that men are more visual in thier sexual responses. women are less so. there are differences.
for a woman, IN GENERAL (meaning NOT ALL women), there is an intermingling of feelings of lust and love much more so then there is for men. men, IN GENERAL, have an ability to find a woman very attractive physically, have sex with her, even if he doesn't LIKE her, or consider her to be GIRLFRIEND, or MARRIAGE material. MOST women can't do this. after a while MOST women will get attached to the guy. that was simply ALL that i was saying. I was not being insulting to men, nor was I putting them down for being wired the way they are. i'd rather understand what "IS" then whine about what is "NOT." all i was trying to do was point out this difference so as to facilitate better understanding. your reading into it some sort of offensive nuance is in your own head and more likely has something to do with your own guilt on the subject.
I was also trying to make the point to some of you guys out there that MOST, meaning NOT ALL, MOST women are looking for a relationship with more subastance then just a sexual one. that is what MOST women ultimately want. MOST women are not simply looking for a sexual partner. SOME women will go ahead and sleep with a man even after he tells her that it is purely sex... with the hopes that he will eventually fall in love with her. in the end she ends up getting hurt, he walks away saying, "well... i told you...," eventhough he KNEW how she felt about him. this stuff never works, and women should understand that when a man says, " I am not looking for a relationship," he means it. they should believe him.
also...you said, "op allowed herself to be used by this guy..."
this is utter nonsense. it is completely irresponsible for a man OR woman to continue to sleep with someone when they know that the person has very strong feelings for them and they do not feel the same way. even if it were true it doesn't let the guy off the hook. he is still a CAD. you don't sleep with a woman whose totally in love with you when you are not in love with her. why? because you have responsibility for YOUR actions and the effects that you create...and from a purely practical stand point, you will immerse yourself in a lot of drama with this person. who needs that? it's taking advantage of her feelings, and that is wrong. the woman is wrong too, of course, and obviously lacking in self esteem, and violating her own personal integrity... but that doesn't let the guy off the hook... nope. a nice guy doesn't do that.
lar | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/29/2008 1:45:06 PM | Shouldn't you really feel something before sex not just after?
Sex should be an extension of feelings you already have for each other and really should not change how you feel about each other. I would not say I was emotionless after sex.... lets face it.... it feels good so we do it.....
It doesn't make the relationship any better or worse for me. It's something we do because we have feeling for each other and it's a way of enjoying each other's company on a different level.
Now that being said..... when sex is used against you.... held back or "cut off" it can have a negative impact on the relationship. As much as you most likely wont want sex if you are mad at each other, it can cause problems in a relationship if used as a weapon.
This will in most cases invoke an emotional response from a guy..... I would venture to say from reading other threads that it has the same effect on women when the roles are reversed. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:28:22 PM | hey kirstie
we all make mistakes by doing things like that..you should have listened to your intuitioin..you must have felt "omg i aint getting that feeling back from him" he told u you were just a "sexual" thing to him basically..but sometimes we dont wanna believe it cos our egos are hurt...i did the same thing and left him...then he started crying when i was over him..see men like to chase! and hunt! dont be so easy next time...trust me they dont want a girl like that..and dont think thats how u keep them...its more emotional at first then the sex..hope this opened your eyes..i just dont want women doing that anymore! good luck with him..but i would dump him..sorry if i am sounding harsh but someone has to make u see this. | |
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| Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/29/2008 4:41:12 PM | | Its not that we're emotionless, its we feel a different way. Its love but a different type, if you tell a female that your not just there for the sex they assume youre lying or gay. Why is it that only females think they hurt, many times I have put myself out there to be basically used and abused, what a males feelings arent as important, it goes both ways and hopefully people will realise and treat each other with the respect and dignity they wish for themselves. Good luck with it, but if its been 2 years its too long | |
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