| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/30/2007 3:19:45 AM | | Gees, he is just a guy that has a crush. Any girl who was like this towards a man would not be under suspicion of being a wacko, stalker or what ever. He is just simply interested in you and wants to take it further. Just because he expresses it without expecting you to read his mind, it doesn't make him a potential rapist. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/30/2007 5:36:14 AM | ^^^ i didn't mean anything as drastic as that, dear.
thanks everyone!
i see it as a touch manipulative and it speaks to a certain lack of emotional maturity.
not things i really like in a date. ;)
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:48:34 AM | I will admit... i have found myself a little frustrated when I like someone and wish they would make some time for me in thier seemingly busy schedule... but I realize you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar... I also realize guys don't like crazy girls... lol!
I think you hit the nail on the head OP with a bit manipulative and emotionally immature...
I have had guys accuse me of not wanting to talk to them because I didn't answer thier IM or email them back quickly... well, its not that I didn't want to talk to them...
but I wasn't exactly eager too either for some reason... well they pretty much pushed me over the fence...
Good luck!  | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:34:48 AM | Maybe he appreciates your company?
Wait a minute... Why in God's name are you asking other people?! What have they got to do with it?! You should make up your own mind! Not get other people do it for you. Doesn't that say a lot about your character? | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:48:05 AM |
Uhm...not exactly. He is expressing neediness. Call a shrink!
Maybe I'm the crazy one here. (Little doubt) But, isn't this whole relationship thing about having someone else that will allow you to express your feelings? If you are being untrusting of each other, I think you're doing something wrong. If you're not able to say something, as a human being, what's the point?
Maybe I've had it wrong. Let's all just be stoic, angry and untrusting of each other. That sounds like loads of fun.
All I'm saying is, try to see my perspective that, this guy isn't doing anything wrong, and the responses in this thread seem really very absurd and out of place.
I think the reaction the guy was looking for is "Oh, that's sweet." or something along those lines. Something that was expressing his happiness, and in turn, hopefully the comment would make her happy, make her smile, not question it. Is trying to make someone happy emotionally manipulative? Perhaps. Is it a bad thing?
But in the end, a mountain of distrust. Moral of story: Don't express satisfaction with someone, especially early on. It makes you needy. And we can't have this satisfaction thing going on with relationships. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:08:34 AM | ^^^^ oh come on.
i am a reasonable person. really.
reasonable to me is someone saying, hey i really enjoyed chatting and talking with you today, do you think we can touch base tomorrow.
that's about the extent when you haven't even MET the person, don't ya think?
it would be different if we had met, had an awesome date, and knew we really connected.
just my opinion. and, yes, my opinion is all that matters (to that poster who is so sure my character is flawed because i started a thread) .. but i thought i'd jump on the Ask A Guy bandwagon ... what the heck? lol
thanks to everyone who answered my question without personal attacks!
you rock ;)
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:15:39 AM | Hey, OP, the guy sounds kinda too lonely to me. Send him a  and a  | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:34:16 PM | | OP, the guy is playing games (unless he said it in a cute or sweet way). Run. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:14:01 PM | Ok... I am a girl-so i'm technically not supposed to answer...but...I say it would be safer to walk away. I agree with the Drama King/Queen comment...drama is no way designed to make someone feel special. It makes the Dramatic One feel less insecure and validated. Feeling obligated to do something you aren't really wanting to makes ya feel more stalked than "special" or "romantic". As the site title says, plentyofish darlin...keep lookin!  | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:29:25 AM |
Maybe I'm the crazy one here. (Little doubt) But, isn't this whole relationship thing about having someone else that will allow you to express your feelings?
Of course, ubkobalt - but we're not talking about a relationship, we're talking about a single 45 minute phone call before they've even met.
If they'd met and gone out a few times, great. You're spot on, that would be sweet and I think most women would respond fairly well to it if everything else had seemed to go okay by then.
As is, it's not sweet - it's over-the-top intense for the first hour of a relationship. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:42:47 AM |
Personally, I think you should have responded, "Well. If I talk to you tommorrow, I will go crazy... how do you want to treat this?" Immediately burp into the phone.
Then bang the phone against the wall a few times and state, "I'm already starting to go crazy... we better end this call...NOW!!!!!"
Realistically, he is a drama queen. Queens always use emotional pleas as a means to get what they want. ... he's probably a big fan of the artist formerly known as "Prince"
***biotch slap***
hahaha | |
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dp635
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Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 39 | |
| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:31:57 AM | | RED FLAG. Definitely. If you talked to him longer on the phone, he probably would have whined til you asked him over right then and there. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:46:00 AM | | Sounds like "I'll go crazy" has come and passed with this guy. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:18:44 AM | | Was he out of breath and all panty sounding? lol... Yep this would be a concern to watch for... If he pulls another thing like this, run. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:30:01 AM |
" I know I shouldn't say this, but if I don't talk to you tomorrow, I'll go crazy".
Sounds like he's already loopy. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:59:22 AM | Yes. Big red flag. He is wound too tightly. WARNING: Contents under pressure may explode.
Let him go.
You're new to POF. You're very attractive...vibrant. You'll have plenty of fish to choose from, so take your time and choose carefully.
Good luck, and Happy New Year!
Cheers,
afishcalledjack | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 1:49:01 PM | | Don't call him anymore and dont answer any of his calls. He sounds like a looser and you dont need that in your life. This guy will go nuts on you eventually he sounds like a stalker, a murder, and a rapist. Leave this guy alone. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:45:21 PM | The "go crazy" statement is a small example of how he might act down the line.
I read a book on "manipulation" one time and this kind of behavior has manipulator (controller) written all over it. | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:24:26 PM | | Tell him not to forget to take his pills ! lol | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:06:21 PM | Do you want to call him tomorrow? How does it make you feel that he feels the need to talk to you tomorrow? The answer lies with you.
Clingy maybe...but maybe you want or need that? | |
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| Question: Red Flag?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:17:37 PM | Clingy.............................................................................................................................
And the girls who know me better not make any smart remarks. | |
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