| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:04:30 PM |
Would you reject a man that could be a good match for you just because he is 6-7 yrs younger or older than you.[/quote/
Older, no. Younger, absolutely. I couldn't be comfortable with someone that much younger than me for him to BE a good match for me. Just because you are dating someone with a huge age difference doesn't mean that everyone else should be comfortable with it.
You can call it lame or whatever you want to, but you don't get to decide what everyone else's preferences and comfort level is. Your comfort level isn't the barometer by which the rest of us make our choices. Having our own preferences and choices doesn't make ANYone wrong. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:11:01 PM | I actually tried to mention something similar to this earlier this year. I mentioned in a thread I started that it would be helpful if people just put what they don't want, meaning what is an absolute deal breaker for them, to put it in their profile so that way, if someone who is not their type comes around and reads that in their profile, they will not be wasting their time by e-mailing them, because they will know what they have as a deal breaker physically speaking.
I think people should be open about that, and just put down in their profile what they absolutely don't like and what they find as a deal breaker, so others don't have to e-mail them and sick a turn down if they are not their type.
I'm not talking about "preferences", but "must haves". I just think it would be easier for people to come across who would be interested in them physically as opposed to getting rejected later on which no one likes. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:58:03 PM | Would you reject a man that could be a good match for you just because he is 6-7 yrs younger or older than you.[/quote/
Older, no. Younger, absolutely. I couldn't be comfortable with someone that much younger than me for him to BE a good match for me. Just because you are dating someone with a huge age difference doesn't mean that everyone else should be comfortable with it.
6-7 yrs isn't a huge age difference. I think cg 789's point is this. Suppose a woman is 35 yrs old and her ideal age range is 30-40. She meets a man who is 29 or 41 yrs old and matches all of her other requirements. Does being a year outside of your ideal age range make that much of a difference? Probably not. I could understand not dating someone who is well outside this age range.
You can call it lame or whatever you want to, but you don't get to decide what everyone else's preferences and comfort level is. Your comfort level isn't the barometer by which the rest of us make our choices. Having our own preferences and choices doesn't make ANYone wrong.
If a person's requirements are based on false stereotypes, then other people have every right to state why these stereotypes are inaccurate. Perfect example is a woman wanting a taller man because she thinks taller men can protect her better. Height has nothing to with protection. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 4:18:38 PM |
if someone has racial restrictions it would be good for EVERYONE if they put it with their other preferences.....don't you?
If I had a preference, then sure I think it would be applicable, but then its also important to me to know why a person feels that way. ie. whether they just dont find certain general characteristics of race attractive ...or whether its a superiority/hatred aspect
Generally I dont find Asian gentlemen attractive because they tend to have more gentle facial structure, with little definative hair growth.
I find strong features, big eyes, strong jawlines, cheekbones & the ability to have a 5 o'clock shadow attractive... and if I met an Asian man who was those things, his race is irrelevant so I dont/wouldnt discount him or limit my criteria.
Incidentally, Im part Chinese | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 4:28:23 PM | | Personally, I love interracial relationships. Most of my siblings married 'out', and I tend to date beyond my general shade; that's my personal preference. But I think you should maybe state what you're interested in on your profile. It would save time and energy. As far as the women you contact, if there's any hesitation, don't even bother. It's not worth your time to worry about rejection over color. Some people just aren't attracted in that way, and some are just ignorant. Either way, move on. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 5:05:42 PM | But if you put racial restrictions, you WILL just get the same sort of arguing that is currently occuring on this thread about age.
Profile: Must be within 5 years of me.
Interested party: You are an idiot to exclude people 6 years older or younger!
Profile: Must be my race.
IP: You are an idiot to exclude people whose ancestors came from one continent away from yours!
Nobody seems to respect other peoples preferences (or must haves) if they are excluded because of them.
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 5:30:09 PM | height, weight, age, race, religion.....they're all preferences. they don't discriminate weight because you don't have to list your actual weight, just your body type. some people tend to discriminate others with regards to their religion just as they do with the height and age.
i personally feel that having a racial restriction is a complete  and will never have my vote. having such a restriction would eliminate a chance of friendship with anyone other than the person's own race.....and that's not cool.
i'm not a prejudice woman, i have friends of all races and religions but i do have a preference with not dating a man outside of my race. like i said, it's a preference....not prejudice. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:00:44 PM | | Of course it's not prejudice(at least i don't think so)...but country girl do you put down you preference on your profile?....that way you won't get unwanted messages from guys like me. | |
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 34 | |
| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:22:35 PM | But if you put racial restrictions, you WILL just get the same sort of arguing that is currently occuring on this thread about age.
IMO race and age requirements aren't exactly the same. Suppose a woman is looking for white man who is at least 30 yrs old. Of course not all people from a certain race look alike, but the average white person looks much different than the average black or Asian man. I don't think there is any noticeable difference between a 30 yr old man and a 29 yr old man. Age can beome important if a person is way outside someone's ideal range. I also think there is a major difference between being not attracted to a certain race and not dating a certain race due to ignorance and bigotry. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:33:48 PM | maybe better would be a "spelling restriction"
most women here are concerned about "spelling" - somehow they relate it to intelligence and education level...not the wisest way to assess that but yet they prefer so.
so...how about an obligatory grammar test of lets say 20 questions, and somebody could set a restriction filter like "only above 18 grammar points"
most women would use that | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:49:54 PM | | lolol....That's saved for second time they meet. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:26:38 PM | | You can't call someone's PREFERENCES "inaccurate." That's about the most ridiculous thing I've read in awhile. If 6-7 years difference is too much for ME, who are you to tell me it's NOT? It's too much, you don't get to decide my preferences for me. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:37:10 PM | You can't call someone's PREFERENCES "inaccurate." That's about the most ridiculous thing I've read in awhile. If 6-7 years difference is too much for ME, who are you to tell me it's NOT? It's too much, you don't get to decide my preferences for me.
I stand by previous comments. Yes I can call someone's requirements inaccurate if the reasons for not dating someone are based on information that is not true. If I stated that I don't date blondes because I think all blondes are stupid, then I would be harshly criticized for making that dumb and incorrect comment. If you don't want to date someone who is 6-7 years younger / older than you, then that is your choice. But you would be missing out on people could be a good match for you just because of age. I think maturity is important than age anyways. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 9:59:22 PM | If 6-7 years difference is too much for ME, who are you to tell me it's NOT? It's too much, you don't get to decide my preferences for me.
Suppose you were at a bar, a party, or some social event. You met a man that was attractive, had a good personality, had a lot of common interests with you etc. You were interested in dating him. Then you later found out that he was 6 years younger than you. Would you suddenly lose interest in him just because of his age even though there was a connection and chemistry between you and him? | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:46:15 PM |
But you would be missing out on people could be a good match for you just because of age.
So what? Let them miss out. Why are you so upset about it? | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:57:36 PM | | TarshaS... Msg 23...smartest post to date...check it out boys. Simple solution and to the point...and she's cute to! | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 12/31/2007 3:23:04 AM | So what? Let them miss out. Why are you so upset about it?
I'm not upset. Just because a person has a different viewpoint about a certain subject, it doesn't mean that they are angry. I'm just making a general point that people are only hurting themselves with rigid requirements when it comes down to height, age etc. It is often the people with the rigid requirements who complain about not finding a date. I'm not saying that anyone on this particular thread is doing this. Yet I have seen plenty examples of this on another threads and "real life". Can't have it both ways. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:25:40 AM | Saying that someone 7 years younger is too young FOR ME is not "information that isn't true." Can you understand that we are talking about opinions, feelings and preferences here? And that there's a difference between those three things and "fact?" It's not "information," we are talking about human feelings and thoughts here. No, not all blondes are stupid, (which is a fact,) but if you aren't attracted to blondes in the first place, that doesn't mean you are "wrong."
I might miss out on someone who is a good match, but it's my choice to make. I am not comfortable with someone much younger than me, and if I'm uncomfortable at the outset, where do you really think it's going to go from there? | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:28:23 AM | | It wouldn't happen, CG789. I don't pick up men in bars, and I've pretty much known the age, and other information, of everyone I'd even consider, before he even gets my number. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:30:49 AM | Saying that someone 7 years younger is too young FOR ME is not "information that isn't true." Can you understand that we are talking about opinions, feelings and preferences here? And that there's a difference between those three things and "fact?" It's not "information,"
When I mentioned not dating someone due to information that isn't true, I wasn't referring to you or your age requirement in particular. It was a general statement. Sometimes a person's opinions, feelings, and requirements are based on incorrect information such as the blonde and height examples I mentioned.
No, not all blondes are stupid, (which is a fact,) but if you aren't attracted to blondes in the first place, that doesn't mean you are "wrong."
There is a major difference between stating 'I'm not attracted to blondes' and 'I don't date blondes because they are stupid'. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:23:55 AM | Just because you put the racial restrictions, doesn't mean the guy is going to abide by it. I have had restrictions on my profile. But still get contacted by black men. I guess they either contact me to piss me off or either they think they can win me over with their great personality. I just block them without reading their letter. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 2/18/2008 2:53:11 PM | | Dude, I just looked at your profile and it says your age is wrong at the top because you're still getting used to these dating sites?? Seriously?? You've been a member since May of 2006 and you haven't yet figured out how to change your age? Dude, your race isn't the problem here, I can say that with nearly 100% certainty. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 2/18/2008 2:57:25 PM | | i absolutly agree O/P we all have preferences on what we find attractive . I believe there should be a option for it on pof | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:48:47 PM | | When people put restrictions on who they will date - they put restrictions on other aspects of their life and run the risk of others misunderstanding restrictions as rasist and not simply a preference! | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:54:36 PM | | No restrictions here. I enjoy talking to people and I would be missing out if I restricted anyone for any reason. I can always impose my own restrictions if I talk to someone and find them to be an idiot. | |
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