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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:13:18 PM | I hear you. You can be the greatest guy in the world, with the best future, make a lot of money to make sure your kids, and your future grand kids never have to worry about money, and you're still not good enough. That's my situation. It's how it is. In Islamic culture, muslim women cannot marry outside their religion. If they do secretly, they get slotted, and never to be heard again.
I know how you feel to get passed up like that. But, I'm not in any rush to get married and have 3 kids. Women are on a tighter schedule because of their fertility issues. After 30, having kids is a stressful thing. | |
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vahbsc
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Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 197 | |
| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:24:31 PM |
I am not attracted to dark skin this is true.To me in my eyes it's just not an attractive thing.
i don't know you personally, but that seemed like a racist ass statement to me. i would have something to say about that if i was white. i know plenty of people (ethnic) and they loathe white america. and i don't associate with them in my freetime. shutting someone out because of physical characteristics just isn't a good thing. regardless of preference.
hell i'd rather you judge me on my "datability" by my hair or my outfit rather than my skin color.
just rude. nobody said list what turns you off, that was very out there. please don't tell me you're going to promote that! 
anyways. i think its not racism, but if you're going to not TRY to make a good relationship with someone simply based on skin color,(if the opportunity came along) something uncontrolable since birth (unlike hair color and tans), you really don't wanna be with someone that bad.
i really honestly hope you find someone who doesn't share your views. sometime it takes a second party to change people's views.
they always say love knows no boundaries, but for some of you it does. and it makes me sad so many people feel this way about it, this day in age | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 1:22:15 AM |
i don't know you personally, but that seemed like a racist ass statement to me. i would have something to say about that if i was white.
Pftttt!! i am not going to be losing any sleep over what you believe me to be.Your right you don't know me.I also wont be losing any sleep over people who find my pale skin unattractive to them.According to every fashion magazine,television show and all other forms of visual media my pale skin is regarded as quite undesirable and to be tanned through the many tanning methods available immediately so that i will be found acceptable by societal standards.As i said no sleep will be lost to me over such things. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 3:57:18 AM | poor dear
the new minority... how sad... how painfully transparent... how predictably cliche'. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 5:25:19 AM | I am not attracted to dark skin this is true.To me in my eyes it's just not an attractive thing.
Oh sh1t...I better use that SPF 50 I would hate to get a tan! I always believe what the media and "fashion" magazines say hahahaha.
So if someone is Albino in any race that is acceptable? | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 7:28:18 AM | anyways. i think its not racism, but if you're going to not TRY to make a good relationship with someone simply based on skin color,(if the opportunity came along) something uncontrolable since birth (unlike hair color and tans), you really don't wanna be with someone that bad.
You cannot help what you are attracted to,,,plain and simple. If someone isnt attracted to dark skin,,,,thats not gonnna change no matter what a wonderful person they are. I have freckles and cannot change that. Ive been told by a few men they dont find freckles attractive. Well,,,,,ok. lol Again,,its the 'attraction' thing. We all have what we as individuals perceive as attractive or not. Sure it may cause hurt feelings, it hurt mine too. But attraction is what it is. Its either there or its not. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:07:29 AM | I'll be honest... I'm glad that there a blond haired blue eye'd families... I think they are beautiful! I also like the dark brown black Irish look. Freckles really make me melt especially with smile dimples and red hair. And what is more beautiful than a really dark almost black complexion shining in the sunlight with? Well... almost nothing...
But as the great Richard Pryor once said "Son... you wouldn't know a fine woman if you tripped over her!"
Preferences... I prefer a woman who is either 1. comfortable in the skin she has or 2. is willing to learn to be comfortable in the skin she has. It's like when Carrie Underwood sang that Aretha Franklin song during her stint on American Idol... she sang that song with white soul (and I don't like calling folks a color cause well I got too many of them in me to care) and she nailed it like a champ.
The only racial restriction I have is I don't date anyone with racial restriction on love. IOW's is you is a white girl who only dates black men then I wouldn't do it... becasue I believe that's not a preference but a statement.
Now let's all hold hands and run through the park singing "free at lasssst"!!!!!!!!! | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 3:01:24 PM |
can someone explain how the color of someones skin makes them unattractive/attractive.
As with everything else it's an individual thing.Skin tone may be unattractive to someone in the same way hair color,body type,height,teeth,complexion etc... makes someone unattractive in some peoples eyes. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 4:28:20 PM | On second thoughts.
Never mind. Keep right on:
 
and good luck to you. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 4:35:19 PM | "i don't know you personally, but that seemed like a racist ass statement to me. i would have something to say about that if i was white. i know plenty of people (ethnic) and they loathe white america. and i don't associate with them in my freetime. shutting someone out because of physical characteristics just isn't a good thing. regardless of preference."
Huh? Women do that all the time, just ask short guys! Doesn't matter what color they are, women discriminate against them every day!
Anyways, it's not just skin color, its cultural differences for the most part.
I can see beauty in all women, of many different colors & cultures. Does not mean I'd want to date them...
I'm sure there are tons of black, asian, etc women out there who wouold not want to date me because I'm white, and my heratige is vastly different than theirs. Doesn't bother me in the least... I don't consider that racist.
They are free to choose.
Many sites have the race/religion restriction checkbox, I see no problem with it. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 6:50:28 PM | Am I the only one who thinks it would be OK if girls had tight shorts that said "Whites Only" if that was their preference. Personally I wouldn't even take offense (I'm black). It would just be one more bit of honesty in the world.
I also think hardcore racists should have "Racist" halos like that Orbitz commercial. I'd just know to avoid them. Probably better for both of us. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 8:35:57 PM | I've also been approached and dated many different races.
I don't like the way some men of a certain race talk to me,
I don't like the way some men of a certain race try to play me.
I give everyone a chance when I first meet them...but I usually end up regretting it. For me its more a cultural difference. A black man who is canadian is different then a black man from africa. They view things usually entirely different. (same goes for other cultures) | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:15:46 PM | | Honestly, I don't see how this issue gets so inflated all the time. A person is either attractive to you or they are not. In my humble opinion, someone limiting their selection by setting down a racial preference makes said person the biggest loser at the end of the day. I have met some extremely attractive women from just about every corner of the globe and every race seems to have members that are both attractive and unattractive. Contrary to popular belief, what we think is best for us is not always necessarily so and sometimes it takes actual experience to really let that sink in. By biasing your selection you're only depriving yourself of an offer that might turn into happiness later down the road just because you didn't like the wrapper it came in. | |
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vahbsc
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Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 209 | |
| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:17:59 PM | Pftttt!! i am not going to be losing any sleep over what you believe me to be.Your right you don't know me.I also wont be losing any sleep over people who find my pale skin unattractive to them.According to every fashion magazine,television show and all other forms of visual media my pale skin is regarded as quite undesirable and to be tanned through the many tanning methods available immediately so that i will be found acceptable by societal standards.As i said no sleep will be lost to me over such things
lose sleep? what are you talking about pal? no need to change the subject.:down: my point is that i don't think you should openly disrespect people like that. i hope to God your views change.
not everyone thinks pale skin is undesirable. i sure don't. regardless, you shouldn't disrespect people straight up, especially to make a point on a dating site. :
there's no way you can say 'DARK SKIN IS UNATTRACTIVE' in the same sentence and expect everyone to be cool with that. don't get it twisted, i'm not offended. i'm kind of sad that people still say you can't be attractive unless you are straight media standards. white or light. its kinda a bunch of bullshit.
you can't help to your attracted to, but if someone outside of your 'type' does constant nice things for you and is loyal and understanding, and to say you wouldn't be attracted because they're 'dark', is rediculous.
this site makes me feel so good about my personal beliefs, everyday i swear.
Huh? Women do that all the time, just ask short guys! Doesn't matter what color they are, women discriminate against them every day!
Anyways, it's not just skin color, its cultural differences for the most part.
i don't. you're talking to the wrong one about that. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 10:53:17 PM | there's no way you can say 'DARK SKIN IS UNATTRACTIVE'
Actually i can ,but i never said it the way you are saying it.I said"to me in my eyes i don't find it attractive".Do you understand what "to me in my eyes what i find attractive" means??It means that to me personally i don't find it attractive.Plenty of people do find it attractive.To many many other people they love darker complexions.By the way i am not talking about any particular race or even a different race for that matter.There are plenty of dark skinned white people.
You need to learn to read entire post before picking out a few words or a half of a sentence before you freak out like you always do.This is only my opinion and what i happen to think is attractive.It would not bother me one bit if a man came in here and said "i prefer women who are of much darker complexions".I am not talking about any particular race by the way.White people can be dark skinned too.
I can also say that to me personally,again you do get i am talking about me and my opinions and not anyone Else's, i don't find really skinny men , short men, bald men, hairy men etc.... attractive and yes i can say that too.I don't get bent out of shape if a man is not attracted to me the way i am whether it's about my weight,height,skin tone,the fact that i wear glasses etc... Why would anyone care if someone does not find them attractive for any particular reason.Trying to force them to like you would be like beating your head against a wall.
lose sleep? what are you talking about pal? no need to change the subject
You really don't have good reading comprehension skills do you?How could you not of gotten my meaning?I meant that your opinion of me means nothing to me.You can believe me to be and brand me as a racist all you want and it will not bug me at all.I am completely ok with you believing and saying whatever you want to about me.I will not be losing any sleep over the fact that you are saying i am a racist.It will cause me no worry and no stress.Do you understand that now? | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:07:43 PM | I held my tongue earlier when that comment was made about certain skin shades being automatically unattractive but this is the limit. I am offended and I take that as a PERSONAL insult and put down. Don't resort to lying and trying to pretend that other people can't read. THIS is what you said.
I am not attracted to dark skin this is true.To me in my eyes it's just not an attractive thing.
You went back and changed it later.
No one has called you on this yet but I am going to do it right now. For someone who goes on and on about what is and isn't attractive, I STRONGLY recommend that you have a good, long and HARD look in the mirror before you pass judgement on others . Make sure that your appearance can stand up to scrutiny before you deem others to be unattractive. (I am trying to be polite here. I am really thinking something a lot stronger. ) Perhaps some of the energy that you invest in putting down others, might be better spent on scrutinizing and improving your own appearance. If you continue to judge others harshly, others will judge you just as harshly.
I would also respectfully suggest that you refrain from addressing other posters in a condescending manner. No one who makes as many grammatical errors as you do should be talking down to anyone. (For example, there is always a space after a comma). Clearly these are not typos.
As with everything else it's an individual thing.Skin tone may be unattractive to someone in the same way hair color,body type,height,teeth,complexion etc... makes someone unattractive in some peoples eyes.
Everybody makes typing errors. When someone makes the same grammatical errors over and over again, it is clear that they simply don't know any better.
Anyways, it's not just skin color, its cultural differences for the most part.
Oh please, don't even try to pull that cultural differences garbage. No it's not about cultural differences. It is about racial prejudice and discrimination on the basis of race and skin colour PERIOD!!!
I have seen it time and time again. White guys will shun women who grew up in the same neighbourhoods and went to the same schools and churches because they are Black, East Indian, Latina, and, yes, many times Asian. Listen up......they'll shun women who are Black, East Indian, Latina, and, yes, many times Asian who were BORN in this country. They'll even shun women who are Black, East Indian, Latina, and, yes, many times, Asian when their families have been in this country for GENERATIONS. Yet, they will have NO PROBLEM dating and marrying a White woman who was born and raised in England, Germany Sweden, you name it. Heck, even if the woman still has an accent, there is no talk of "cultural differences". Please don't give us any garbage about cultural differences. It won't fly. That is just a load of........garbage!
Each individual has a right to his or her prejudices. No one is going to try to take them away from you. You can keep them. At least have the courage to admit to and own your own prejudices instead of trying to disguise them and pass them off as something else. It really isn't fooling anyone. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:43:25 PM | Yet one more person who does not get that i am talking about my personal preferences.Nowhere did i say that dark skin is automatically unattractive.Do you not get it either when i say that "to me in my opinion i find lighter skin tones attractive".No you have to freak out and take what i say and twist it.Nowhere did i day whatever skin tone you happen to be is ugly.I am sure that many people are quite attracted to your skin tone.
Ummm where did i say i was beautiful?Please point out this statement to me.I know i am not a good looking woman.I know i have no claim to beauty ,but like most people i have a right to my preferences.Hey if you want to call me a racist then i am ok with that because i don't care what you think of me.Your opinions of me are irrelevant.
I am done with this little pissing match in here almond cookie.Continue to live your life paranoid and seeing things that are not there.By the way even though i know i am ugly,fat and too pale at least i have enough guts to put up pictures of myself. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:57:43 AM | "Oh please, don't even try to pull that cultural differences garbage. No it's not about cultural differences. It is about racial prejudice and discrimination on the basis of race and skin colour PERIOD!!! "
Uhm, no it's not?
Beides, who are you to tell me what I'm supposed to like & dislike?
Get an f'ing clue will ya?
I wish ppl could grow some nads and stop pulling the race card out all the time when they want to whine.
Cry wolf some more...
The more that card is pulled for stupid sh!t like this, the less ppl care when real racism occurs. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/12/2008 2:40:57 AM | "Each individual has a right to his or her prejudices. No one is going to try to take them away from you. You can keep them. At least have the courage to admit to and own your own prejudices instead of trying to disguise them and pass them off as something else. It really isn't fooling anyone"
Fooling?
I happen to like East Indian women a lot. I'm really attracted to darker skin tones. I actually find myself attracted women of mixed race more than any other...
However, finding someone from a different culture that shares my views on the world is a lot harder than finding a white woman who does. And we all know dating is a numbers game. The odds are are with your own culture for most ppl. Most ppl do not look to expand their horizons when dating, only a small percentage look to do that.
I'm not a religious person, and I also don't want to be with someone who is heavily religious, and pushes it in my face all the time. Hence, most other websites have a checkbox for religion too.
This topic is about a checkbox, which most other dating websites have. The checkbox is for preference.
If an East Indian women I find really attractive won't let me contact her because she has the white box unchecked, that's her choice. I'd be disappointed, but I sure as hell would not be calling it racism. It would be absurd to do so.
Same as how most Canadian women here only want to date men from Canada (even though I only live 10 minutes form the border). It sucks that I can't email them, but that's their choice. Are they being racist against Americans? LOL | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/12/2008 4:04:25 AM |
At least have the courage to admit to and own your own prejudices instead of trying to disguise them and pass them off as something else.
Good sound advice for an honest racist... however the two characteristics only meld together in the psychotic mind. A sane honest racist has no idea their racist as denial is the reflex of a sane mind. Let us examine ...
I actually find myself attracted women of mixed race more than any other...
Note the use of the word 'actually' giving people of mixed race a particularly'special' place in the heart of the speaker.
However, finding someone from a different culture that shares my views on the world is a lot harder than finding a white woman who does. And we all know dating is a numbers game. The odds are are with your own culture for most ppl. Most ppl do not look to expand their horizons when dating, only a small percentage look to do that.
This is perhaps the most original disguise of racism seen scince the Democratic Party in the US cornered the minority vote by offering free abortions. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/12/2008 4:08:33 AM | "This is perhaps the most original disguise of racism seen scince the Democratic Party in the US cornered the minority vote by offering free abortions."
Well, that's your opinion, not mine.
If I liked a black woman, brought her home to my family, and she did not feel like she fit in and wanted to no longer date me. I would not consider that racism...
Why should she put herself in a situation that is uncomfortable? Just so ppl like you are happy? That doesn't make any sense. She's looking out for her own happiness, not yours, or anyone elses.
After a few of those experiences, she may no longer want to try dating white men...
"Note the use of the word 'actually' giving people of mixed race a particularly'special' place in the heart of the speaker."
It means I generally find them more physically attractive than the women of my own race. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/12/2008 4:22:52 AM |
I 'actually' find myself attracted women of mixed race more than any other...
Ohhh I see, you put the actually in the wrong spot... You meant to say
I find myself attracted women who are 'actually' of mixed race more than any other...
No wait... that still doesn't work. But anyway I 'actually' don't think that is racist I was just having fun with the whole 'it's a numbers game' concept. Well anyway it's been nice talking and what ever you do don't rent that Sydney Portier movie... the one with Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn cause Portiers character was wayyyyyyyyyyy too perfect. | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/12/2008 4:33:04 AM | ^^In any event.
I'm fine with the checkbox.
Doesn't bother me one way or the other. Even if it means someone is "shunning" me for being white... It's their choice. There are other fish in the sea... | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:09:22 AM |
I 'actually' find myself attracted women of mixed race more than any other...
Yes, I caught the word actually too. It is QUITE telling.
Good sound advice for an honest racist...
That's the bottom line. At least with an honest racist one knows exactly where they stand.
However, finding someone from a different culture that shares my views on the world is a lot harder than finding a white woman who does.
There you go again. Colour does not equal culture. Are you going to really tell me that you don't know the difference between the terms race, colour and culture? Do you STILL get the fact that you can have 2 White people from totally different CULTURES? Do you not understand that two 3rd generations Canadians will likely have more in common CULTURALLY than an Italian and and Russian? Yes, this is true even if we are talking about a White Canadian and a Chinese Canadian vs a White Italian and a White Russian? Do you honestly not GET that?
Why am I surprised? Most school systems in Canada and the USA STILL don't bother to cover such basics.
Beides, who are you to tell me what I'm supposed to like & dislike?
Read what I wrote AGAIN! No one is telling you who or what to like or dislike? You are entitled to your prejudices. The bottom line is OWN them and have the cahones to call them exactly what they are. Why sugarcoat things? | |
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| racial restrictions
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:32:41 AM | "Do you STILL get the fact that you can have 2 White people from totally different CULTURES?"
Of course I get that fact.
"There you go again. Colour does not equal culture" - I never said that!
But for me to find a Black woman that is from Polish/German heritage that has similar values, likes & dislikes, grew up in a similar family environment is a lot harder than finding a white one, it's that simple.
Even if a Black woman were to have grown up in my neighborhood, chances are, we would still have had many cultural differences, which leads to incompatability issues in a relationship, unless you were both looking to expand your horizons. Most ppl stick to what they know, they don't expand their cultural base throughout life. That's not racism. A very small percentage of ppl worldwide cross that cultural barrier. And it just happens to coincide with skin color, as that's a derivative of culture. (not even taking religion into account, which is the main factor most ppl do not cross the cultural divide when looking for a life partner)
How am I sugar coating anything? I'm saying I don't have a problem with a checkbox...
We simply disagree that it racism. I don't think it is, you do...
You won't really change my mind, and I don't care to change yours tbfh...
If there was a black woman out there who shared the same interests, shared the same views religiously, culturally, politically, etc. Skin color would not be an obstacle for me...
We all know it's hard enough to find someone you're compatible with from your own culture, let alone find someone with heritage from a different culture, that is similar to you... I'm sure some have done it, but it sounds like the odds are certainly not in your favor.
Lets not pretend that Black American culture & White American culture are able to produce ppl who can intermingle seamlessly in interracial relationships. That's not the norm.
Yes, there are whites who" act" black, and blacks who "act" white. But that is not the majority of America. Canada may be different, I don't know.
You can't force the mingling, you have to let time bridge that gap. So saying ppl of different cultures who refuse to cross that barrier are racist is a bit much IMO... It's a preference, and there is nothing wrong with it.
It time, we will all be one race, but for now, just deal with the fact some ppl don't want to date out of their culture/race.
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