| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 9:40:17 AM | Romance...is not forever.
So...someone always gets hurt.
I don't want to hurt anybody or to get hurt. | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:13:29 AM | Gary,
I met online a man that I shared a strong attraction with. After chatting more we decided that we were best served as friends. Peter offered to life coach me instead and he has lost 65 pounds while he has coached me along my loss of 34 in the past 4 months. We are just friends and that is all it will be but even in friendship, we can show and express our love, gratitude and appreciation for one another.
Peter is rewarding my weight loss with a Rosetta stone cd so that I can learn a new language or two. I paid attnetion to his fitness regime and eeked out of him, in one im, his shoe size, went and bought him a killer pair of running shoes and had them sent to his home in New England.
I too miss those little thoughtful intimate expressions with the man in my life as being a partner is a natural role for me and one where I find I feel my best. In the meantime, I do send myself flowers, go to the woods or ocean, make sure I get some hugs from friends and look forward to one day, once again, sharing the great winding road a relationship takes me down. There is nothing as calming and centering as the conscious acknowleging gaze I share with my partner when we get home, wake up in the morning or catch each other looking across a crowded room.
Romance is timeless for me.....
I so want to be the little old lady and man who hold hands, look at one another directly when speaking or who simply each reside on opposite sides of the couch, books in hand, lost to our literature with tangled toes.
Whisper | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:01:00 PM | Ankka Dear,
I had to respond to your post as it has stayed with me all afternoon. I certainly understand your position, none of us likes to hurt another or be hurt. Long ago a wise woman said this to me:
The heart that has been broken many times holds a greater capacity to love.
Think about that and see if it makes sense to you. I have chosen to be unafraid of loving wide open, to over time and with trust, share all of me with another so that we can both glean a higher love together. Fear is a crippling emotion and when not met and checked swiftly at the doorsill, can overwhelm and consume us. Do I suffer when a relationship ends or is going through a tough time...most definitely...but am I still ready to do it again or even twice more....sure I am. I want all the love, romance, companionship and lessons that sharing an intimate relationship brings.
I've read your profile and anyone that writes what you did at the end of your profile must surely still believe in romance.
Just my thoughts...Happiest of New Years to you and to all who have posted here  | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:04:56 PM | Well . a lot of interesting posts makes me think perhaps romance comes in two different forms .
Initially we romance to woo the potential partner ,, and this continues as the relationship evolves till such time as one loses interest , or feels comfortable(thinking the job has been done) or the relationship falls apart .
Then there is the other , where the romance continues between two people who just want to be together and share a life , each respecting the other , each savouring the time spent with a loving partner.
Are the two different ? or is the initial performed on the hope of achieving the continuing ?: | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:24:15 PM | I believe in ...love.
Romance...always is painful...for somebody.
It is beautiful...for sure...but I like to read about...nothing more. | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:48:54 PM | barra, ankkka ~~ for me, and I think ideally, romance and love are the same. If you love someone, you seek to please them, and find ways to be pleased by them (to see where they are going out of their natural patterns to please you.) That is romance. I don't think it changes from courtship to mateship, except possibly both get better at it.
E.g. ~~ every fella I've gotten into an even semi-serious investigation with on PoF has gotten the URL to my blog. Out of that fairly small number, only one (1) has spent more than ten minutes reading it (and he's spent hours. . . ). Do I read something into that? You bet I do. That one is the one I'm planning a very long future with, lol!
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:55:56 PM | | Barra; I think if someone turns on the romance only to 'get' a partner, then thinks it is no longer required, the romance is doomed (to be boring, if not fail). I'd hate to think that I'd fallen for a 'false' persona, a mask that a person wore just to attract me. If a person truly has romance in their soul, expressing it isn't an act to woo the potential partner; it's the truth of who they are and they will be that way forever. | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:09:47 PM | Barra,
Great post you started here. Your view seems a tad analytical which is great. I think in response to your last query that I do not look at romancing even after a relationship is a given, as working at it. Loving someone, for me means I really take time to consider them each day, what pleases them and to really "get off" on making their day. Do we have disagreements and are there times when they infuriate the snot out of us and us out of them? You betcha. For me life has a rhythm and I sort of tune into those I love and treat them with love and tenderness and laughter. Ever kissed the nape of the neck of a partner to move them out of a crummy mood? Ever lit candles, set soft music and given a foot rub cause u know your parnter needs that and that only? Romantic as all get out.
As an aside but very important to being available to romance another is my faith. I am not religious personally but I guess the common term is "spiritual" and every day I begin with centering myself. That is when I remember all the little things like romance, consideration of others, care to myself and draw the energy I need to give even when I really am not feelin like it. | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 3:10:18 PM | For kicks I looked up 'romance' in the on-line M&W dictionary. Here's what I found. Is anyone else cracking up at intransitive verb #1 definition?
Main Entry: 2romance
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): ro·manced; ro·manc·ing
Date: 1655
intransitive verb
1 : to exaggerate or invent detail or incident
2 : to entertain romantic thoughts or ideas
transitive verb
1 : to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery
2 : to carry on a love affair with
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/30/2007 4:13:29 PM | Romanza...................aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh....the beginning, the middle and the (should be) forever of a loving relationship. Some of you guys seem very adept at talking the game here on the forum...I truly hope you carry through with your words.
I think romance is the way you think of each other, and then show it with the daily deeds...how you treat each other in a loving, gentle and patient way. All the trappings of romance mean nothing if you don't show each other and the world by your actions toward each other. Hands touching, looks across the room, knowing smiles...all those things encompass true romance. At least for me. | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:21:08 AM |
Romance is timeless for me.....
I so want to be the little old lady and man who hold hands, look at one another directly when speaking or who simply each reside on opposite sides of the couch, books in hand, lost to our literature with tangled toes.
I just love this. 
It is...so romantic.
Thank you Whisper.
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 41 | |
| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:30:20 AM | Barra, playing hide and seek again?
Give the ladies time to get romantic with you.
It does not take a lot of time to be romantic, you just feel and do it; a relationship without romance is a stale one; the same as seeking a woman out, if you do not flirt it is not going to last. | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:50:03 AM | | I agree with oncelucid. hopefully we have become wise enough to appreciate the small gestures, glances, touches, words; all those things I was clueless about through 1/2 or my 30's. Its subtler, like the aged wine or scotch. You miss it if you gulp. | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:27:09 PM | As others have expressed, romance is reality, albeit, a perception & yes, I think its important at any age we are living.
My personal perception of what is romantic are the actions, expressions, caring, tenderness shared between two that leaves each with that warm fuzzy feeling from head to toe...
Now, passion...lol
cata | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/31/2007 5:33:35 PM |
If we spend a lot of time romancing , we may have little time left for living ,, which do you prefer ??
I prefer living with romance. Romance doesn’t take away from life, it adds to it. I enjoy being romantic as well as being romanced (reciprocity is a must; romance was never meant to be a one-way street). I believe if a couple is vigilant about keeping the sparks aglow, romance will help keep their relationship healthy and thriving. Life sans romance would be like a kiss without a squeeze.  | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:35:01 PM | | Wow! This is an interesting post! I never thought about people seeing romance in so many different ways. I like the post about being the "little old couple" because my husband and I often see these things and feel the same. One day he said to me, "She's probably been holding on to that arm for 60 years. That's the way we'll be." Not "I hope..." or even "maybe", but "we will". That, along with so many other gestures day in and day out is love, romance, comfort...... Call it what you like; I would never want to be without it again. | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:53:19 PM | I rather like to romance a woman. I've had Reality for the last 48 years, thank you. When you romance the opposite sex it allows you to also be romanced. It helps to relax and unwind and forget about reality for a while.
What's wrong with a nice drink on the ocean, talking about anything other than work? Only workaholics and control freaks have to be constantly thinking of work. Or kids. Or bills.
So enjoy, relax and live a little.    | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:29:17 PM | If it's the right person it should be easy and fun and something you think of daily.
All the best in everyones search! | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:54:12 PM | | Love what you said, Ferret....... There's nothing like sitting on the beach or on the dock and talking about anything and everything..........holding hands and walking on the beach...........just enjoying the person you are with........getting to know them and letting them know you.......... | |
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| Romantic !!!! Are we still?
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:09:17 PM | There's lots of ways to be romantic in day to day life. Unless a person is beset with misfortune at at a particular time of the year it's hard for me personally to not allow my eyes to light up when I take a walk down the street and see all the decorated houses. And so easy to share with a partner.
Same thing when all the gardens are in full bloom in the summer. Or a grand display of leaves in the fall. Thunderstorms. Sunsets. All of these are absolutely free opportunities that greet me daily and fill me with wonder. | |
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