| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:34:46 AM | After reading what you wrote, I can conclude many things. I will say that you're an intelligent woman for sure and have depth to you and not just beauty, but it would be easier to read what you wrote if you organized what you wrote into paragraphs. I am sorry this happened to you.
This man is not trustworthy. He basically got interested in some other woman later and was hunting after her. Perhaps, he is not 100% clear that he will get her and expects that you will be on stand-by. You are a very beautiful woman, you don't need a guy like him who plays games. As far as the sex thing, some people lose interest after sex. Sex with some people is sometimes better than with others. You can have instantaneous awesome sex with one woman over another in my experience, but sometimes it's worth it to stick with that awesome woman and connect with her more mentally and sexually instead of thinking the grass is greener. I think that's what happened, and he is wishy washy and doesn't have what it takes for you for a real relationship. Don't keep this man around. He was feeding you garbage.
So what if you ignored his e-mail one time. If you care about a woman, you should be able to accept this or that. No woman acts perfectly anymore than men.
I wouldn't want a woman like this in my life, so don't have a man like him as more than a friend. Move on to someone who is much better.... For me, if I had sex with a woman the third time, but she has great qualities, I am sticking around and giving it a chance. I don't give dumb excuses... | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:37:35 AM | I thought this was a magic trick, or something... About half way through the post(3 days) I realized it wasn't. But then I was hooked. I just had to know what happened next. 6 days later I'm wondering, what kind of soup did he bring..Hmmm.
~Belly~ | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 9:10:14 AM | Daymn that was long! lol But I read it ALL!!! lol *takes a breather*
As I am sure u know by now, the guy was using u. It sucks and ppl
like that are no good to anyone. My philosophy is simple:
"do unto others as u would have them do unto u". It's a shame, I see
alot of ppl in this world don't know how to treat eachother. It's all
about me me me.! And where does that get us? Part of me wants
to say "DTA" Don't trust anybody...but in life u have to take chances.
U give someone a certain amount of trust and they can either build
on that or lose it. I think u handled things well enough. Just learn
from it and become a stronger and wiser person for it. I am sure that
u will. Best of luck to u! | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 9:27:32 AM | this reminds me a little of a guy i know...he was seeing a few girls at once, 2 got more involved, but then he decided he liked one better than the other (neither knew about the other). he told the girl who he was less interested in that he just wanted to be friends, backed off entirely and focused on the other girl. seems he then came on waaay too strong with the girl he liked and now she's blown him off. now with new years eve fast approaching he wants to rekindle things with the girl he'd decided to be *just friends* with...c'mon, like she's not gonna know that she was 2nd choice! he's in the mode of thinking that if the girl he likes doesn't want him, he'll get as much tail as he can and look out for number 1 (his words not mine).
OP, stay clear of that guy...he's probably treating you like 2nd choice or a consolation prize. not worth your time. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:28:02 AM | You have to remember that many men are just of a bad relationship and/or an expensive divorce.
Most men are very wary of going through that again. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 12:54:12 PM | Wow, that sucks! I'm sorry you fell from cloud 9 so quickly! It sucks because we, as women tend to be way more emotional... and get upset about little things that if we weren't concentrating on one person... wouldn't bother us!
It kinda sounds like he was with someone else.... why else wouldn't he have replied? He was punishing you? Don't go back for more... he'll only do it to you again! He may just want to get laid! Who was actually playing games?
There's a saying.... 1st time shame on you.... 2nd time shame on me..... | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:51:21 PM | | Yes I agree with what most of you are saying...I don't plan on getting together with him at all now that my hunch is confirmed by this post....he's a user. =/ Lesson has been learned, thank you all for your advice and kind words =) Well, minus the guy who said I sounded 'insane'......the hell? How do I sound insane?I never said our fingers were stuck to the keyboard for a month straight! And I was joking when I said I was 'stalking' his myspace, hello! So I checked a few times a week,so what! and the other guy who said 'Don't you know what a paragraph is?' Umm, yes, I do, thanks, thanks for asking! I wrote the post around 4am so forgive me if my paragraphs aren't perfectly separated! Sheesh! | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 3:52:10 PM |
Wow! 7 dates and he turned into a poof? lol What did you do to him?
Based on the length of the post.......I would say she talked him to death......... | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 4:32:17 PM | OP, first realize that you will never be sure of what really happened, some people are trying to make you feel that it was just a player thing and a write off, but I see that as a form of disrespecting your worth, it sounds like you were honest in the situation, remember you can never be sure about his end of the deal- there could have been something so destructive in his life happening, he couldn't deal with another complication...doesn't matter so forget it.. people are just speculating..
The only thing you should focus on is your part in the story- try to put emotions aside and figure out where you went wrong, after all, you did get out of the thing with minimal damage- we all have played the fool at one time or the other and have had our own responsibility in these deals that don't work out as we thought they should..
Try to make it a learning experience and not fall victim to emotional manipulation if that is what it was.... again, and again, and again....
nothing worse than a serial victim... | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 4:42:52 PM | I just read a thread about a guy from a dating site showing up in the obit's.. Maybe the guy just fecking died? Feel better now? Good reason not to call? lmao. What would the odds be on that?
~Belly~ | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 4:47:48 PM | It hurts and it's confusing and you just want to make it all ok and think it can be by venturing back. Just makes it harder when it happens again tho!
Really, really go with your head and not your heart and put this head f**ker behind you. You'll find someone you deserve and be happier than you were with him because it will be real. Good luck. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 5:01:36 PM | Here is a good rule of thumb to go by.... if it is confusing there is something wrong.
Listen to your instincts... they are telling you somthing... RUN FOREST RUN.
You are a beautiful girl. Dont lower your standards to a wanna be....  | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 5:05:16 PM | PLAYER!!! You can't have your cake and eat it too. He played with you and he's plying her as well.
I wouldn't consider anything this guy ever said to you to be truthful or trustworthy. That being said there are 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth.
Some personal inventory is in order for what you may or may not have done to encourage this behavior. It seems apparent that after he got a piece he was gone. So, were you just a notch on a bedpost or were you duped by a guy without enough personal values to be content with himself much less anyone else? Learn the lesson. Spot the signs in the future and good luck. At least you know you can climax through oral copulation. It coulda been wham, bam thank you maam. I wouldn't entertain the thought of seeing him again without bluntly laying the cards on the table and him making the next move either toward you or away from you. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 5:53:38 PM | | Hey jess, sorry to hear he dumped on you like he did, totally uncool. But it sounds like he was interested in the beginning for a booty call and was patient for it but after he got what he wanted he lost interest unfortunately. You sound like a great lady and certainly deserve better. So IMO, I'd loose the loser and cut off any and ALL contact with him and find someone that will treat you with the respect you deserve and maybe be a bit more careful and read the next one a bit more carefully and make him wait for IT too so you are more sure he is a keeper. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:03:57 PM | To the 'belly' or whatever your name is....you're a jerk and your comments are rude and not needed....
to everyone else, thanks for the thoughts....I guess I knew what most of you are saying from the get-go, just needed someone else's opinion to see if I was right about him... | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:07:07 PM | well my dear...when he wrote..
he finally writes to me, and he basically says that he felt I overreacted when he said why he left late , and he felt I was playing mind games by ignoring his email *DAMNIT ALL, how did he know I was purposly not replying???? There was your answer
then perhaps after you leaving him alone...you gave him time to think that maybe he does miss you and wants to start over.
I think you should bite the bullet and just ask him about it..Ask him why after all this time passing..he decided to contact you again..
You never know these things..until you communicate!! You may be suprised..
P.S. please consider curbing the attitude..Just be rational, and mature. Its alot easier to walk away with your head held high (if thats what you choose to do)
Good luck
P.S. I didnt read the second page until now......You say he used you?..
Used you for what?? Sex?..I believe you claimed to have had as much fun as he did, and you consented. He didnt use you!!
We cant go saying we were used, or played..just because things dont work out the way we want them too. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:21:32 PM | | Rain, I'm not saying he used me initially for sex, I'm saying that after the fact, he is now trying or it seems to me he's trying to get with me again by the comments he's saying...and that maybe he thinks that since I slept with him before, that I'll do it again, and that's where the 'using' part comes in...he's trying to use whatever words he can for his benefit...and take advantage of me to get what he wants. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 6:43:38 PM | sweetie he can only get you into bed ("take advantage of you")...if you let him!..
You should be talking to HIM, asking HIM why.. (not us)....... He may have good intentions...he may not. But until you open up communications, you will never know! | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:57:46 PM | great story!
you seem like a smart girl and so does he seem like a smart guy.
you both seem too proud.
it was so intense, that made you guys expect too much from each other!
1 message a few hours late kinda created a domino like effect that started screwing everything up.
as for the sex part, doesnt strike me as he was kinda playin you just for that.....it strikes me more as he felt the relationship more secure, somewhat more granted, which made him not worrying as much as he had to try as hard for you. not meaning he didnt care anymore, but that he was more confortable. and i think thats what made him answer a lil later....you noticed the "confort" didnt really know what to do of it and got a lil upset...
its understandable to find it a lill suspicious at first, but it was not such a big of a deal really...
and then from a lill thing you guys let it climb till it was over, with all the pride and stuff.
i say hes 4 real!
and has you said, you were so excited to have FINALLY met someone one who made you feel this way! dont let it slip that easy, what would a second try hurt....
just use more understanding and dialogue rather than pride and second guessing... | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:22:23 PM |  OH MY gurlfriend! Learn to use PARAGRAPHS!!! PULEEZE!
Let go of this dufas! Quickly. And...has Nothing to do with when you two had sex...1st date/20th.
The Guy has issues. BIG time.
I am an old beotch...and I can tell you ...if a guy comes on really "strong and heavy" ( i.e. expensive presents, lots of calls, emails, wants your time, etc,within the first few days, weeks, months.....best bet is run. Seriously. 
learn from it and move on.....  | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 9:14:55 PM | Hmm, I read the whole thing and I'm confused myself.
I don't see why people are saying he met someone else or whatever... I dont think that was the case. I don't know why guys do the things they do. I think it's weird he backed off right after you guys has sex, but if that's all he was after why did he stick around for 7 dates? Esp. if he was "attractive" I'm sure he could get that else where.
Maybe you started to seem a bit clingy? Maybe he's bi-polar or something. Maybe he got freaked out by his own feelings. Bottom line is he was an a$$ and you deserve much better! I hope you don't give him another chance. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 9:41:27 PM |
well my dear...when he wrote..
he finally writes to me, and he basically says that he felt I overreacted when he said why he left late , and he felt I was playing mind games by ignoring his email *DAMNIT ALL, how did he know I was purposly not replying????
There was your answer
I am with Rain here. You can call this guy a player, a user, a whatever, but if you are all that, you are not as stupid as to buy you such birthday gift.
This is a guy who has been burned before, and simply after you started playing games, realized that he was going too fast and pulled back. Then whatever happened, which nobody but you two know about, didn't feel good and said, see'ya later alligator.
In the end, both of you over reacted, so now he's back flirting and stuff to test the water. If you go back to this guy, remember that you both have a track record of bull and games. So unless you are clear with each other, this ain't going to work. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:26:13 PM | Anytime someone's behavior and patterns shift - something is up. Sounds like this dude totally shifted and changed his way of being after you guys had sex. Whatever his excuses and reasons may have been (scared, got what he was after, confused by his feelings, on to the next target...oops, I mean girl, etc. etc) I think that's annoying, immature and just not worth the extra energy necessary for dealing with his stuff. Whatever his "reasons" may be.
Don't bother trying to figure out why he's back - he really does sound like he was ultimately just looking to get laid. He was just really patient and good at pretending to be a stand up guy. If he really was a cool guy - he would have remained a cool guy even after you slept together.
Ignore him and carry on --- besides, you are super pretty and you appear intelligent enough to not bother wasting it on someone who (apparently) doesn't know what he wants anyway.
:) | |
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