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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:36:10 AM | | Jess, just walk away. Once someone starts with the games and you give them another chance, you have already set the tone of the relationship. If you give him another chance there is a good chance he will do this again. Don't waste your time, just walk away now. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:28:44 AM | I don't undertsand why the Op is so confused, this guy is obviously not serious about a relationship with her, and based on what she wrote, he is just another one of the many players of this world..
It's really not confusing, it's just that we as women, don't always want to see what is so obvious.
In this case, it's that this guy is wasting your time, and taking up too much of your time and energy- of which he is NOT doing the same for the OP.
JJ | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:33:39 AM | i find it sad that most ppl here would give up so easily!
most girls, most ppl crave to have to go through this kinda intensity and magic in a relationship at some point in their lives...and everybody knows its not something that comes along everyday!
and when it finally does come along most ppl would throw it down the drain based on a small misunderstanding... | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:43:19 AM | OP you're a beautiful woman and I'm sure you're smart enough to realize this guy isn't even worth a "booty call". Booty calls are dime a dozen so if you were considering even just that with this guy ... I would personally go barking up another tree and give another deserving guy that priveledge. :o)
I'm going with majority here and say that he found another girl that tickled his fancy and wanted to swim in those waters just because it's something new, exciting and unknown for him. You know what they say .... "the chase is better than the catch". That "relationship" probably went belly up on him and decided to go back to Plan A in the meantime until of course something new and exciting rolls around again. It'll probably end up becoming a viscious cycle until you decide to end it.
OP I'm sure you have absolutely no problems meeting men ... the problem is meeting the right one for you. Use your beauty and brains to your advantage and never settle for anything less than you feel you deserve. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship filled with mind games. A successful relationship would be free of all the BS. Kick him, along with his stupid a$$ attitude and games to the curb and find yourself a REAL man.
Best of luck to you hope you have a happy and successful New Year! | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/31/2007 11:04:28 AM | | OP, I'm glad you're not going to back to him. I agree with other posts that say that you shouldnt even have a booty call with him. There's too much emotion wrapped up in this situation already. Also, I don't agree that he was just using you for sex (like some posts say). He was using you for the whole thrill of the chase. His own infatuation emotions were probably all real at the time. I went through something similar and can commisurate. He pulled back when he realized (a little too late) that he wouldn't be able to follow through, but my feelings were getting really wrapped up in the whole thing. I think the conquest was when I was won over emotionally (not sexually). Then he lost interest (or realized/was afraid that he couldn't follow through). This sounds kind of cruel, to woo someone til they are falling in love and then drop them, but I don't think he sets out specifically to hurt women. But it's a definitely a pattern. One to stay far, far away from. (I mean him specifically. If someone else woos you with lots of attention, gifts and sweet gestures, that does not mean necessarily that he will go poof right away too). Oh, and by the way, it didn't sound insane at all. I've had very intense beginnings where I've talked with the other person a lot. I think that infatuation phase is pretty normal when feelings are actually mutual (which unfortunately is not always the case. Guys that think that's particularly weird probably have never really felt that mutual infatuation before). | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/31/2007 1:43:37 PM | Ok, I tried reading that three times, but MY GOD I kept getting lost in the words words words!!
I guess it's too late to make some paragraphs, so could you really quickly post the coles notes version??
Thanks!
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:43:12 PM | Frankly........................I think once he got in your pants it was a done deal. I also think he never cared about you anyway. The gold knecklace............ a small thing on his part, he could afford it.
Maybe you were not so in control of the outcome as you may have believed. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:32:01 PM | You are so cute. Get over him. Find an even cuter guy!!!!!!! | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:25:40 PM |  visions1
this is why communication is SOOO important!! | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:25:15 PM | He wants to keep you as a spare in case this other one doesn't work out.
So he will flirt and string you along. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:27:51 PM | All right! another A hole ruins it for the rest of us men.. He got what he was after and then wants friends with benefits.. BS.. Get as far away from him as you can.. You will be better off down the road..
Count yourself lucky this came out before something more serious happened such as marriage, kids and an even more busted heart..
It’s a sad fact of life that some people are selfish and out for there own.. Good news.. Your young, beautiful and you have plenty of time to recover from it.. He may have had remote feelings for you but knowing he has other woman shows you just the type of person he is.. Besides you wouldn’t want to go through life wondering if this guy is screwing around behind your back. Sorry for your pain. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:30:27 PM | This is my opinion but if i'm not #1 in her life i would leave also. So i suggest
you do the same( forget him). He's not worth it, don't settle. I made that mistake and
she wrecked my life in all ways.... FYI..... | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:40:36 PM | original poster,
i admit i have glossed over the responses to your story, but assuming it hasnt already been said, id like to give my analysis:
i think it is entirely plausible something else in his life may have been going slowly wrong and just all of a sudden blown up around your birthday. when many, not all, men are having problems, especially when they are in a new relationship, they keep all their troubles, all the way to themselves. men are very different from women in this way. he likely turned to you as an escape during this time. when things finally got so out of hand in his personal life that he could no longer communicate with you without hiding his angst and/or frustration, he likely stopped writing/calling you. your withdrawal of support at this moment likely enraged him. he likely soon felt shame and regret, and looked for someone else to start fresh with. that probably fell flat quickly, for the same reasons, so now he's back at your doorstep expecting forgiveness. i am almost completely certain that his leaving you had nothing to do with him "getting what he wanted" but perhaps, his memory of your shared experience in bed may have made him more hurt by that withdrawal of support. but wait, theres more.
having said that, i think the only thing you did wrong in this situation was to blame yourself. whatever he is going through, is not your fault. perhaps if he had shared some of his problems with you by talking them out, you would have had a chance to understand and support him. and that, unfortunately, is his loss and his fault, not yours. please do not take this one bad experience as an excuse to stop trusting men with your great personality and romantic nature, you will soon find a man who deserves it. good luck to you. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:37:02 AM | Honey...you can't change a sows ear into a silk purse. This guy's got issues...and he's not sure what he wants. My advise...start dating again. There's more fish in the sea. NEXT! | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:01:31 AM | Girl its not you...its him. Please go and buy the book : Men who cant fall in love...by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol....fast ! Read it in one weekend BEFORE you decide to consider his reintroduction to your life....dont be a victim again. Sounds like drama...its not, there is a whole book dedicated to this type of person....read it, get strength from it and move on....
you deserve better...trust me !!! | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:02:31 AM | | Wow, quo vadis, that is definitely one of the more insightful responses I've read in these forums . . . sometimes it seems as though nearly every troubling, desperate, maddening, and sad situation presented in the PoF forums could be distilled down to lack of communication/miscommunication. You've summed this one up nicely . . . | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:43:17 AM | hi Jess,
It did not work out with the other one he was seeing and so he comes back to you. Happens all the time. Always be up front with a guy, tell him how you feel and if he does this sort of thing again, let him go for good.
good luck | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:14:39 AM | "Alien I had a hard time reading your post ....think you might be disslexic...did I spell that right?"
jan_fobia, didya hear the one about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?......he sold his soul to Santa.....
(sorry, it's just whenever i see that word, i think of that joke....) | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:35:33 AM |
i think the only thing you did wrong in this situation was to blame yourself. ^^^crapola... she farked up, she got all snooty & possessive & scared him off but nows he's back 'cause he can't get that sweet taste of of his mouth... He's a jerk too | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:30:29 AM | avocado, pretty harsh punishment for not returning an email sent at 10pm, especially when he waited so long to send it. perhaps im just not jaded enough for today's dating scene, but when im thrown a curveball, i try to be understanding about it. no woman ever found their knight in shining armor by clinging to the "men are pigs" mantra, and if you keep playing games, the game will play you. always be honest.
again, to the original poster, you should not have ignored that email for the reasons you did, but take comfort in the fact that it would not have changed the outcome one bit. whatever he is going through needs to be sorted out on his own before he can have the kind of healthy relationship you need. good luck. | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/8/2008 2:09:12 PM | Jesscarmen:
you are very nice woman, very romantic as I understood.
you did nothing wrong: only followed your feelings,
your feelings were becoming too intensive, too hot, too "pushy"
he probably felt he needs some "space"
it happens also with many men they loose interest after a time a few weeks, few months....the woman is not new any more!
not a new woman to conquer!
basicly you DID EVERYTHING YOUR HEARTS SAID....
he didn't appreciate it.
not much to do. you could maximum get him back for a "period".
if he lost interest so soon, he woulld get again sooner or later.... 
you are FANTASTIC GIRL, YOU WILL FIND ANOTHER!  | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:11:16 PM | | Id say you wont have any trouble replacing such a truthful honest guy like him, next!! | |
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| 7 Dates and Poof??
Posted: 1/9/2008 1:55:33 PM | Men and women have become very good at the sex game these days. In order to get what he wanted, he had to be deceitful (wine, dine, tell her everything she wanted to hear) Do you think if he asked how many dates that she would have to go on til she gives up the booty, that it would of been a red flag to her, thats why he was deceitful and a very good player!
He just marked you on his "how many women have I done this month" list and (like those pricks) he's keepin a few around, at least who let him. And this is why he is now contacting you again, to see if you are one of the suckers.
By the way - Women learned how to do this too (be deceitful to get what they want)
also he would of went on 10 + dates with her, til she gave up the booty.
1 date = time invested and eventually there will be a give in!!! | |
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