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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:03:17 PM | Could not be arsed reading all this thread.I know it will be full of negative energy and bile.You got to feel sorry for the kids in the middle of this.Looking after kids is exhausting and draining,Its a huge responsibility, that needs both parents fully involved.Divorce means kids lose one fulltime parent and thats a huge emotional loss for them.So much nitpicking and begrudgery, over contributing to a child's welfare.If a parent is drinking/drugging/ gambling the money, then they should not have custody.Otherwise, why get het up , if you pay for heating and the Mom gets warm too.How petty is that.
How many adults can put their own angst aside and put the kids interests first. Those rights are
1.To have enough to eat
2.To have a roof over their head.
3.To be educated
4. To be taught"BY EXAMPLE"HELLO!!! how to behave with honor,unselfishness respect, generosity and love
5.To have equal time with both parents and be encouraged in a relationship with both.Not to have to listen to one parent bad mouthing another.
6.To have emotional needs met as well as material ones.
7Not to have to endure endless Aunties or Uncles sic.You have kids raise them.When their gone date.JWO
8. To be taught morals and standards and be socialized properly.
9 .To be disciplined lovingly and have boundaries.To be filled with confidence and self worth every day.
10. To learn how to appreciate others and have humility and gratitude.
Mostly to be valued and loved , not seen as a nuisance or dent in your bank a/c.
Put the kids welfare first, pay for their up keep willingly and with love- both parents -until they are raised .All pretty time consuming eh and tiring, but worth it.If you dont like it, learn the wisdom of effective contraception. | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:06:15 PM |
^^geuss I am not a good femi nazi...and I learned something today..yay a new word...only I don't have contempt for boys or men at all...just for the men who behave like boys...Quit complaining and slinging crap at the wall...because it won't stick..
Write your congress man or local polotician...but I would refrain from using the words and phrases that you and "certain" other posters have used to describe the woman who gave you the gift of the children you protest to love so much in your plea for equality...cause it just sounds....well barbaric..
No... barbaric are those who use words like 'nazi' without understanding the history behind it.
And misandrist also includes posing things in a one-sided fashion...
And it's not a plea for equality I make... it's a demand.
And there's nothing barbaric in such a demand.
You've only demonstrated your lack of understanding as to what is truly barbaric.
A lack of understanding that is reinforced by this statement:
How 'bout this....If a man makes 15 million dollars a year....he pays whatever the percentage of income the courts have mandated....yes I said mandated...regardless of shared custody
If you know anything... *anything*... about the guidelines, they are done on a basis of sole custody. In shared custody situations (where either side has the kids at least 40% of the time), those figures get adjusted DOWN. How much down is a mystery though and is not clearly laid out.
And whether a man or a woman makes 15, 200 or 900 million dollars is actually not relevant to this thread of whether $2500/month in support for an annual income $300K is reasonable... which it is, given that it looks like it is in-line with guidelines.
The only reason why I'd see the "kids that are crying and scared and a pissed off ex wife in the background" would only be due to a CP not getting off their ass and doing their part and instead attempting to live off of a gravy train by controlling the the *NCP*...
But then... that's not my situation even if you're trying to insinuate that it is... given that I live with my kids.
But then I'm not expecting you to comprehend that given I had to explain to you what terms such as 'Misogynist' and 'Misandrist' mean... and that you don't understand the meaning of relatively common words like 'barbaric'.
As for the statement:
As for my ex husband, I have always maintained some kind of respect for him
I've gotta wonder what he'd say to that... "off the record"... I've got a hunch that his version of things just *might* differ slightly... | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:15:33 PM | ^^^read the threrad zeke...and flick the nugget off your nose...femi-nazi isn't a term I coined...it is one I learned only recently by reading this thread.
But then I'm not expecting you to comprehend that given I had to explain to you what terms such as 'Misogynist' and 'Misandrist' mean... and that you don't understand the meaning of relatively common words like 'barbaric'.~zeke~
^^yeah whatever...put your club away...you win!!..'kay? | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:37:12 PM |
femi-nazi isn't a term I coined...it is one I learned only recently by reading this thread.
Yep... I know... I don't find the term amusing no matter who uses it...
The term was coined by a moron named Rush Limbaugh with certain "Bushish" tendencies...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminazi
The Proper term is Misandrist. | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 4/5/2009 2:05:52 PM | For heavens sake, why bring up all these huge child support payments.How many women are in receipt of those.How many struggling fathers are rich.Most are working men and women, who are not wealthy.
If you go for women who are high maintenance and only want rich men, you will get a goldigger and get fleeced.But these women are gorgeous and glamorous and the men cant get enough of them.So fair dues.
Boht parents should contributive to the up keep of their kids.No woman should be at home painting their nails and I doubt many are.I read a post from a guy boasting about a mate going to South Africa to avoid paying for his kids.Is that something to be proud of.I dont think so.Another said a hit man would be cheaper.Appalling.
We have people agreeing just to be contentious and stir the sheet.Men begrudge paying for their offspring, thats what I am reading.Well then dont have kids, wear a durex.No man should be fleeced to keep a woman in luxury, just pay a fair amount.Men should have joint custody of their kids and never be stopped from seeing them.They should pay a fair reasonable amount and the mother should work and contribute also.You made them together, support them together and get off the pity pot.
There are women everywhere raising their kids alone, with no child support.This thread seems to be about the glamour girls who want an easy life.Thats the minority, the majority are raising their kids mostly alone.If you bring them in the world, take responsibilty for them and man/woman up. | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 4/5/2009 3:34:29 PM |
Divorce means kids lose one fulltime parent and thats a huge emotional loss for them.
That's the problem many of us have. The kids shouldn't lose that, but child support is easier for the courts to figure out if they restrict a child's time with at least one parent. There are a lot of people who want to be active participants in the lives of their children, and a lot of instances where shared parenting is of little or no detriment to the child. But the courts take that away from both the parents and their children because of the extra time and paperwork it would take for judges to sort out the monetary issues when matters are handled in that manner.
How many adults can put their own angst aside and put the kids interests first.
Not enough, unfortunately. | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:07:37 PM | | Problem is that in the absence of alimony (most states are getting away from one spouse having to pay the other's way for the rest of their lives), women are going after men to WWAAAAYYY too much child support. It goes like this, the woman leaves, but wants to maintain HER standard of living, she expects him to pay for it, so the man suffers so the woman doesn't have to, and the children suffer by extension due to the woman being greedy/vindictive. Not to say that men should not support children to the best of their ability. If they walk away and leave their kids w/o a fight then they deserve to have a huge piece taken out of thier ass as well as their checkbook. However, if there is joint custody, then why should a man raise the standard of living of a woman who chose to leave him. A single parent can make ends meet on 30K per year, I did it for a long time with my kids, there is no cause to more than double a parents income via child support because 99% of the time the money is only partially for the child, and when the child reaches majority and the suport ends, the recieving parent finds themselves in dire financial straits, and the child is then put between a parent who gave everything expected of them their whole life, and one who abused the system and will now try to turn the child against the other by blaming them for their sudden money crisis. People are so short sighted, they always say it's for the kids which is bullshit, in the end they cut their own noses off out of spite and deserve to be where they are when the children are 6 months past that magical 18th birthday... Probably piss off every woman who reads this, but I've seen it go down too many times. | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 8/9/2009 11:24:12 AM | ^^
Problem is that in the absence of alimony (most states are getting away from one spouse having to pay the other's way for the rest of their lives), women are going after men to WWAAAAYYY too much child support. It goes like this, the woman leaves, but wants to maintain HER standard of living, she expects him to pay for it, so the man suffers so the woman doesn't have to, and the children suffer by extension due to the woman being greedy/vindictive.
VERY WELL SAID!. That said, some men also get so bitter aboutthe breakup and tends to try and take it on the women thereby extending the problems to the children..!! I wonder how many of these ex-partners really think of the best interests of the children..:( | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:08:14 AM | I just read of a case where the woman has been ordered by the court (the man brought a motion) to account for the $6500/month child support she receives for 2 kids 7 and 9. Apparently the kids were not being well (appropriately) dressed for school despite repeated warnings to the mother - who claimed she can't afford to.
Well so I know a few women here thought that requesting for such an accounting is a means of controlling the ex-wife. Do you still think so after such a case? | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 10/22/2009 5:41:35 PM | | Are visitation guildines in the pre nump. This marriage is just set up for failure. I quess I am just a person that would not take a man for all he is worth. I will work for my own way in life. I don't expect anything from anyone!! | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:00:42 PM | I wonder how many current threads will be resurrected in a couple of years.
Anyway, I made it through 6 pages of highly charged, yet strangely civil posts. There is good bad and ugly to be had in most divorces with kids. I know that it's been almost 2 years and this is mostly off topic, but it might add to the discussion.
Where I live, CS is calculated according to the total income of each party including additions and subtractions for any spousal maintenance and then further modified according to the percentage of nights spent with each parent against a table of values that reflect the state's estimate of the marginal cost of raising a child expressed as a monthly figure. So, the more even the incomes, the less the CS, the fewer nights the kids spend in your house, the more the CS. Also, the CS for two kids is not double that of one child. The jump in CS from 1 to 2 kids is smaller than the jump from zero to 1, likewise the increase from 2 to 3 kids is smaller than the jump from 1 to 2. Lastly, the spreadsheet stops at $20,000/mo income and at higher incomes it goes to the judge to ascertain an appropriate amount.
Since CS is predicated upon the total family income expressed as a monthly income per parent, spousal maintenance does come into play. Though I initiated the proceedings, my ex-wife was the one who decided the marriage was over and we were getting divorced, she just didn't seem to want to get on with it. I finally grew up enough that my self-respect could no longer pretend she hadn't moved on, but I digress. My ex spent 12 years as a stay at home mother for the most part. She works part-time in a field different from the retail world where she had previously worked. As a result, I make 10 times what she makes. I have a good friend who got divorced 3 years before I did and I watched as his ex drug him into court multiple times and how miserable things were between them. My ex is relatively more sane than his ex and I felt we could dissolve our marriage with a minimal fuss to the maximal benefit of the three kids. So, from the beginning, I explained to her what my friend was paying in the way of spousal maintenance having used lawyers. We chose to forgo the lawyers, set the spousal maintenance at an equivalent level (out salaries were about equal as co-workers) for 5 years to reflect our longer marriage.
I went through a phase where I was angry and not wanting to pay her anything and to have sole physical custody of the kids, but I quickly got over that phase and here's how.
I realized that regardless of what happens, I will always be better off than she is. I'm the one with the degree (gotten before we were married). I'm the one working in the technology field making the big bucks. While it's certainly possible that she could turn things around and out earn me, it's unlikely. In 5 years, I'll be done paying her to help compensate for the time she spent as a stay at home mother. Because of the amount of spousal maintenance I pay her, my CS is very small. When the maintenance goes away, my CS will increase, but a year later my oldest daughter will reach the age where I no longer will be required to pay CS on her and it will decrease.
Because of the disparity of our incomes, between the CS and maintenance, she ends up with somewhere between 40% and 45% of the combined incomes. Legally, either of us can have the CS revisited annually. Lastly, CS is something that I pay taxes on and she does not and her marital status has no effect on how much CS I pay.
Some people have told me that I'm very generous with my ex-wife, but I don't see it that way. Without the money I'm paying her, the kids would be living in a little apartment and I'd be in and out of court. I do other things that I don't have to because it seems to me that the smartest thing I can do is to maintain amiable relations with her for the benefit of the kids and to reduce the hassles and stress on me. If it costs me some money and time to stay out of court, it's well spent.
So, I thought it might help to offer up my thought process along the way. | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:09:03 PM | Child support is an obligation of the parent to the child, therefore a non-custodial parent cannot abrogate that contract for support with another prior written contract. To the best of my knowledge the only legal remedy is to waive parental rights, and that may only be possible if another person is willing to step into those shoes.
So, if you are not ready to stand up and support offspring don't engage in activities in which children may result. For even the best laid plans . . .
TK | |
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| Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment!
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:34:23 AM |
So, if you are not ready to stand up and support offspring don't engage in activities in which children may result. For even the best laid plans . . . I don't believe the issue it about supporting ones offsprings. Its about the unreasonable awards of child support that most are complaining about. Being a millionaire doesn't mean you have to spend $30,000/month on a child.
I am a woman but find it very hurtful and offensive to hear another woman justifying some of the unreasonable amount of CS awarded by the courts. I managed to read through all the pages and I have to agree that there should be a cap on how much CS a child needs. | |
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