| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/25/2008 6:49:09 PM | | for me that kind of man would be the least appealing to me. When I see a ton of women hanging around one guy it reminds me of a flock of chickens following a rooster around lol! Just doesn't seem like any of them know themselves individually and are in need of constant attention or void filling. But I do like the fact that they are honest about what they do. I wouldn't consider those kind a true player. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/25/2008 7:10:39 PM | Promiscuous men kinda give me the impression they must be a bit grimy round the edges. It's a turn off. I think people should do what they want but I don't want to know about it.
If a guy says lets go slow I am STUNNED. Way to stand out from the crowd. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/25/2008 7:23:13 PM | Dunno about guys, but a women with a man paying attention to her seems more attractive to me. Someone else likes her, so she seems more attractive somehow. We want what others want -- human nature maybe.
I have noticed though, that when I am with a woman, more women look at me, but I think partially this is because women find it safe to do so. If a woman glances at a man by himself, she may feel like he will misinterpret and pester her. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/25/2008 7:32:42 PM | seem to strongly feel that if two people have sex, there is some bond formed where they are informally married and cannot have sex with anyone but one another. Um...?
I don't think I said that?
I'm aware that 2 people can have sex without having some type of significant bond formed.
But, I'm also aware that it can be a huge turn-off to many people, to know that their partner is also simultaniously having sexual relationships with numerous other people.
I do have a question for you and others if they would like to chime in on it. You used the word “player” in a way I would not have used it. Having sex with more than one person according to you makes a person a “player.” Please don't misquote me. 
Re-reading my posts, I did not use the word "player" to describe every person who's having sex with more than 1 person.
I used the word "player" to describe the type of man who you refered to as "charismatic enough to charm the pants off any women".
In my opinion: if a man is deliberately attempting to use charisma, to "charm the pants off any woman" I think the word "player fits.
You seem to see being charmed as being “fooled” and someone that is charmed as being “stupid.” If someone finds another charming, I don't think they're being foolish.
But if a person is swayed by someone who deliberately "charms" them for the single purpose of having sex with them, they may be allowing themselves to foolishly misled???
If you're deliberately trying to "charm" someone, aren't you putting on a bit of an act, in an desperate attempt to to impress them???
I'd prefer to be impressed by someone who shows me her real self. Rather than someone who puts on an act to impress me.
and
I'd prefer to attract someone who's attracted to my real self. Rather than attract some mindless person who's attracted to some act that I'm putting on to impress her.
But that's just my own opinion.
Perhaps if I was some guy in my mid-50s, who was intent on convincing myself that I'm some kind of stud-hero, I'd have a different point of view? | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/25/2008 7:53:00 PM | Not as a rule, but if you have a good REPUTATION from having
lots of GF, certainly gals communicate with each other, got me in
the door a number of times.
I had women around me a LOT each day, I'm sure gals didn't go by
NUMBERS, they went by REPUTATION.
Actually, tis true gals will note you immediately if you have a gal
on your arm,CURIOSITY isn't the province of women ONLY,
hell, even guys check out the matchups too.
Sometimes, I really think WE are MORE curious. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:19:22 AM |
carolann0308 wrote: I realize that not every relationship
is meant to progress to a higher level. Dating is fun.
You can buy me expensive meals and treat me to all the events
and nights that out you desire.
If the other person doesn't have a shot, I let them know before
they take me out on expensive dates that it's friendship only.
Otherwise I'd be using them as a meal ticket and disrespecting
their emotions. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/26/2008 4:10:11 PM | One could also presume that if they're taking you out to spoil you, it's because they're enjoying your company for what it is, and they're not paying their way into a relationship.
If I had lots of money, I'd be happy to pay to furnish the trappings of an experience we could both share in each other's company. Just so long as it doesn't become repetitive (ie. the only idea for a good time). I'd be after the kind of woman who'd enjoy going for a walk in the pouring rain too - just for the pleasure of the company and sharing the experience. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/26/2008 4:32:18 PM | *If a guy says lets go slow I am STUNNED. Way to stand out from the crowd. *
^^^^^^
Ahhhh the line of a TRUE player... Ofcourse he'll want to go slow... he's bang'n other women.. While your sit'n back think of how much of a gentleman he is...
I think men who have a lot of GFs or female friends which ever the case are more attractive to the CONFIDENT female that know's she's the shyt, and she is up for the challenge of make'n that guy want only her... Where as the girl who is not confident and scared of competition runs from that type of guy.. Deep down inside she dosen't feel she has what it takes to completly satisfy the "popular" guy. Thus she thinks he will find what she's feels she's lacking elsewhere... | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:46:43 PM | Yeah I was tempted to say she is easily STUNNED :D
Hey dude, funny profile pic man.
"Look ladies! girls like to rub their titties up against me"
LOL! that's just fecking hilarious :D
Putting Dr Dave's theory to the test. Give it some! | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/26/2008 8:03:42 PM | I think men who have a lot of GFs or female friends which ever the case are more attractive to the CONFIDENT female that know's she's the shyt, and she is up for the challenge of make'n that guy want only her... Where as the girl who is not confident and scared of competition runs from that type of guy.. I'll disagree with this ^^^^.
The men, with lots of girlfriends, may be attractive to the type of female who thinks she's the "shyt". But this woman is really insecure; and has a need to try convincing herself that she's the "shyt" by trying to win over this guy.
The confident woman wants nothing to do with such a guy.
She's not insecure. She's very secure, and doesn't need to prove it by trying to compete with several other women for a guy's attention. | |
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Niklas
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Joined: 12/12/2004
Msg: 162 | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/26/2008 8:23:38 PM | | Message 24 and 25 WAY TO SPEAK YOUR MIND.........I totally agree. Men who have sex with multiple women are EGO FEEDERS, women who accept this type of man are probably doing the same thing as in having sex with multiple males. What goes around comes around. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/27/2008 4:01:33 AM | "If the other person doesn't have a shot, I let them know before
they take me out on expensive dates that it's friendship only.
Otherwise I'd be using them as a meal ticket and disrespecting
their emotions."
Meal ticket? I believe that usually involves many meals over a long period of time, not 1-2 casual dates. If your only taking a woman out once or twice your going to have to pony up. They're only dating, not attempting to forge a bond with any one particular person. Casual dating for better or worse involves $$$ not many women are going to be happy going on long walks or cooking meals at home for a man that they know is out with someone else every night of the week. The 'popular' guy lifestyle I would imagine costs a lot more in the long run. Are you suggesting the man with many girlfriends is also going to be cheap?
He's sounding less attractive every minute.
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:30:04 AM | Basically a woman will trust another womans judgment in finding and selecting a mate, the thought process goes something like, there must be something about him if he has 3 women chasing him, they will investigate further and possibly compete against the other women to try and catch him and tame him and make him monogamous (is that how thats spelt) to her.
For example.... your a girl and you meet...
Guy A, who has been single for a number of years, never married, never had kids etc etc
Or Guy B who has women fawning all over him, goes on lots of dates, and is open and honest about it all.
Then as you mention there is the Challenge aspect of it all, Guy a is likley to be pushy for a date / insecure about contact / always available and ready and willing to please whenever she wants, basically a pushover. (read BORING AS HELL)
Guy b on the otherhand is not going to display any of those wussy traits, in fact the exact opposite. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:43:08 AM | The men, with lots of girlfriends, may be attractive to the type of female who thinks she's the "shyt". But this woman is really insecure; and has a need to try convincing herself that she's the "shyt" by trying to win over this guy.
The confident woman wants nothing to do with such a guy.
She's not insecure. She's very secure, and doesn't need to prove it by trying to compete with several other women for a guy's attention.
I completely agree with this! While the 'desirable' man has the women falling at his feet and has the ladies competing for a bit of affection and attention ...and are probably glowing when he gives them a small piece of his time, who wants to be a part of that pecking order???
While dating a few people and keeping options open may be healthy and normal, I find these guys love the attention of lots of women are only feeding their own egos. One could argue that these men have huge egos because they have lots of women, but I think the opposite is true. They have weak egos and are a bit insecure themselves even if they are portraying themselves as being the Alpha male. If they had healthy egos, they would not have the need for 'getting it from all directions' or in having their egos 'stroked'....so to speak. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/27/2008 8:56:37 AM |
someplace wrote: If a man is deliberately attempting to use charisma,
to "charm the pants off any woman" I think the word "player" fits.
If you're deliberately trying to "charm" someone, aren't you putting on
a bit of an act, in an desperate attempt to to impress them?
I'd prefer to be impressed by someone who shows me her real self.
Rather than someone who puts on an act to impress me.
So you're saying a "player" is someone who (among other things)
puts on a phony act.
someplace wrote: But if a person is swayed by someone who deliberately
"charms" them **for the single purpose** of having sex with them,
they may be allowing themselves to foolishly misled???
Then by your definition a player acts like someone they're not in order to
fool others and have sex with people they don't legitimately care about.
Msg: 110, carolann0308 wrote: You can buy me expensive meals and treat
me to all the events and nights that out you desire.
Msg: 165, carolann0308 wrote: Meal ticket? I believe that usually involves
many meals over a long period of time, not 1-2 casual dates.
Is it one or two dates, or all the nights out you desire?
Masked Hero wrote: I think men who have a lot of GFs or female friends,
which ever the case, are more attractive to the CONFIDENT female that
(who) knows she's the shyt, and she is up for the challenge of make'n that
guy want only her... Whereas the girl who is not confident and scared of
competition runs from that type of guy. Deep down inside she doesn't feel
she has what it takes to completly satisfy the "popular" guy.
Classified TMI wrote: ...even if the men are "completely open and honest
about the fact that they're dating multiple women", I still would not perceive
them as more attractive ~ .. in fact, LESS so, because I know there's too
much distraction for them to seriously be able to focus on me.
Why would I want to compete? That's just soooo setting myself up for
"He's Just Not That Into You". | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:29:38 PM | Hey Warmthnpassion,
I just wanted to compliment you on your thought process and the clear statement of it. Most of what you say makes a lot of sense to me. Just wanted to give you a  on your discussing this stuff with the Group. I can always appreciate a clear expression of a reasonable point of view.
1BlondGuy | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/28/2008 12:12:00 AM | Yeah I agree with WarmthNPassion msg 150
Disclaimer: The views expressed above are my own and should not be mistaken as the views of other men particularly those of furry professional dancers named Dave.
HA HA LOL!
you spoke for me on that count. Very well articulated | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/28/2008 12:27:45 AM | David Lewis,
Masked Hero wrote: I think men who have a lot of GFs or female friends,
which ever the case, are more attractive to the CONFIDENT female that
(who) knows she's the shyt, and she is up for the challenge of make'n that
guy want only her... Whereas the girl who is not confident and scared of
competition runs from that type of guy. Deep down inside she doesn't feel
she has what it takes to completly satisfy the "popular" guy.
Classified TMI wrote: ...even if the men are "completely open and honest
about the fact that they're dating multiple women", I still would not perceive
them as more attractive ~ .. in fact, LESS so, because I know there's too
much distraction for them to seriously be able to focus on me.
Why would I want to compete? That's just soooo setting myself up for
"He's Just Not That Into You". It still looks like you're thinking I refuse opportunities to 'compete' because I lack confidence in myself. This notion strikes me as absurd! Why?
It assumes the only reason I won't go near a popular man is that I feel I'd never have a chance. BUNK.
If he would be attracted to me, it wouldn't matter how many other women might be around, because he would either seek me out, or not. It would have nothing to do with how competitive I was!
... now, in case you think I've just contradicted myself, I see it this way: men who prefer to multiple-date are not interested in women who don't tolerate it. Simple. They're not my type, and I'm not theirs. They LIKE the shallow nature of multiple dating. It's easy to distract them. NO ONE woman can have his attention all to herself, and he sees no reason to settle with just one. Why should he?
You're interpreting my boredom with 'the contest' as a fear that I'd lose. You're not getting that I don't like the basic attitude of multiple-dating men. They like to play the field, and have casual fun with many women, without any commitments!
I don't have any time to be in some smooth dude's harem.
If a man meets me and has time to know me enough to feel something special can happen, there is no contest. So sexy other lady shows up and pulls him away. Let's say he forgets about me.
~~~ uhmmmm,*bye!*
Like I'm gonna jump between them? It's not lack of self-confidence. It's just that he's not for me if he's not choosing me, and nobody else. I don't share men, and I don't do the chasing thing.
*** For the record, I used to. It was, in retrospect, humiliating. THAT's when I had no confidence. I was making a right IDIOT of myself, and it got me nowhere.
.. this, by the way, is NOT referring to a man who is hoping to find that ONE SPECIAL WOMAN: it's referring to a man who is content with his bevy of beauties and has no plans to commit to a single one.
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/28/2008 2:58:30 AM | | i wouldnt want to me just "another". i dont have anything against men who want to do it, i have male friends who go out with lots of girls at a time.. i wouldnt be interested in being with a guy who did this though.. just not for me. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/28/2008 5:41:31 AM | | I'd say rather I'd see such a man is good at attracting women into relationships. Such a man need not necessarily be an attractive person in one or all ways; he might just have a certain advantage over average men in some way, such as being more charming and sociable than other men. For some men attracting women could become a skill, while for others it may well be a natural talent. | |
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| Are men who have lots of GFs perceived as more attractive?
Posted: 3/29/2008 8:00:39 AM | It's probably that women think they are more approachable. More willing to put themselves out there. Maybe more sure of himself, they have that comfort zone. Nothing more sexy than that. You know what I mean ladies, just a way that they carry themselves and it's not conceited. Body language! The body doesn't necessarily have to be Adonis either.
As far as having fun... I think we could take notes from kids. A dang mudpuddle is a blast to them. I played in puddles the other day with my grandbabies and I laughed so hard had to run for the pot.  I made them go before we went outside and I should have taken my own advice. It seems that we kind of forget those simple little things that made us laugh and feel good. | |
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