| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:49:20 PM | It's simple people. If you aren't willing to take a chance, you will miss out on great love. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Otherwise, how can you expect the person you fall for to open up to you?
No need to take it any further than that. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:32:50 PM | | its hard to trust again after you've been hurt. i think everyone has been hurt at one time or another, right? it took me some time to trust again. but i think i can handle anything after my last marriage. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:50:27 AM |
Two weeks isn't very long to be letting down the wall. Perhaps you need to be sure the woman is willing to put in the effort before you "fall".
I agree that two weeks is too soon to be giving out your heart, but people can sense it if there is a wall. By two weeks, or several dates, there should be some sign of affection or caring coming from a person. If you aren't feeling it, you have to wonder if s/he just isn't into you or isn't capable of giving. For those of us who have tried loving people with walls before, that's enough to send us fleeing. Often NO amount of effort is enough to break through. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:52:54 AM | So join the club !
Everyone of POF has been hurt at some point.
Give some trust and you might get some back. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:43:49 PM | It's hard work to trust again????? I think it is hard work NOT to trust again....To put all of our effort into not trusting other because of the past is a waste of time...I say, play hard and laugh often....life is to live, not to sit around moping about a past you can't change or shutting out others because you choose to carry baggage from your past....people can let it consume them...
I look at every new person I meet with new eyes....I let them be themselves...no expectations of who they should be....for that is the way I am able to honestly judge who they really are and if they have the qualities that would interest me ..If they are not who I'd like to be with, I will then be able to walk away with no regrets... | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:11:38 PM |
"I just expect the person Im in love with to screw me over eventually."
Therein lies the heart of the problem. This expectation prevents you from fully trusting the person, and without trust, it's not much of a relationship for *either* of you, thus increasing the liklihood that the other person will indeed move on eventually. So it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You're setting yourself up for failure with that line of thinking. And it seems to be working every time.
Yep... true true true. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:46:49 PM | OP .. I have been there. I can truly understand where you are coming from.
One day you will find someone who will tear down that wall and you will learn to love again.
You may be missing out on some good times and meeting that special someone.
It is very difficult to learn to love again but true love is one of the most wonderful things life has to offer when you find it. I hope some day for your sake you will let down that wall and if love comes your way grasp it with all you have and don't ever let it go. First of all you have to learn to love your self and the rest will follow.
We don't have too many chances in life. Good Luck | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:23:45 PM | I agree with rune on this one. Keep the wall until you don't need it anymore. When you have found someone you can trust it will come down on its own.
Ignoble's remarks about expecting every woman to screw him over and therefore not opening up and making himself vulnerable had me wanting to argue several points. Then I checked his profile. 23. He has a ways to go. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:32:41 PM | Dear Friend
Sometimes walls arent put up to keep people out. Sometimes they are put up to see if anyone cares enough to break them down!
Good luck with this.... | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/1/2008 10:21:19 PM | | I know everyone is different, But when we find the one we think is our true love. And we put all of our heart and soul into a loving relationship. No matter how it ends, It's going to hurt. I would think it's normal to put up a wall around your heart. As for me? I guess it's taken me a longer than most? Been divorced for over 6 years. Took me about 5 years to take the wall down and want to love again. There's nothing better in this life than true love! You know the saying, Time heals all wounds. Hope everyone has luck fishing! :) | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/1/2008 10:21:22 PM | | You first have to deal with yourself and start knocking down that wall. We all been hurt one time or another, but that's what relationships are about until you meet the right one. Once your knock your wall down, pray and ask God to send you the right person. One day she will come. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:14:48 AM | | I always wished I could build a wall to protect myself but have never been able to, so what I have done instead is decided not to meet anyone then I don't have to worry about it. When the time is right maybe I will get brave again. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:17:24 AM | Everyone gets "kicked to the curb" at some point. You deal with it, and don't sit around blaming the entire opposite sex, while at the same time trying to persue a relationship with them.
At some point you need to take responsibility. We all have a hand in what we attract. Better yet take a break from dating completely, until you figure things out. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:27:22 AM |
Sometimes walls arent put up to keep people out. Sometimes they are put up to see if anyone cares enough to break them down!
No one can take the wall down except the one who built it. Most people aren't going to hang around, being continually pushed away, for very long, no matter how much they like a person. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:45:06 AM | | That is normal so welecome to the world as You are no different than the rest of us,,, Our History teaches us how to protect ourselves so lighten up and like yourself and just have fun as it is just fun and games and hey who know you might get lucky and find that wonderful person in all this la la land called ""LIFE."""" | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:48:04 AM | It's my belief walls lead to being used. One does not necessarily know the other person has a wall up. Their actions may be interpreted as them just not caring or interested. That results in the first person stopping their feelings and just hanging around until something better comes along. All the while the person with the wall is slowly dismantling it, however, in many cases it's too late. The first person has already moved on emotionally.
Then the first person finally leaves and the person with the half torn down wall complains about being used. Unfortunately, they brought it on themselves.
IMO, relationships should flow easily and fairly quickly if one meets the right person. I think, in a lot of cases, people don't really feel the chemistry. There is no passion. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:59:45 AM |
but there is a reason for it. I don't trust them ..... Painting a woman with the same brush doesn't help you to overcome your fears of having a decent relationship.
"Oh i need some time." THAT BULL CRAP! .....If this is coming from the woman then I guess she's just not that into you. Perhaps you are reflecting bad vibes or not showing enough emotions which makes her feel you are not interested in her.
Could also be that the women you are choosing to be with are not as maturely on the same level as yourself, as I noticed from your profile you seem to be attracted to women younger than yourself.
I think you need to expand your horizons young man and if you get shot down then get up dust yourself off and go at it again. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:09:52 PM | 
I don't think 4 years is so long when a person has been burnt, then crushed into the ground...........and has had a person then crap on the remnants of a person's life.
2003 and I have a molt with ugly unnamed animals swimming around. 
If ya poke yourself in the eye on accident would you then turn around and poke your eye on purpose?
I was taught from an early age............don't talk to strangers-----there is no automatic trust. Trust must be earned.
Some folk don't like to take it slow but with matters of the heart, for me it's best.
Granny always said, "Time reveals all things".
So why would I immediately jump in and trust someone I do not know?
Why would I want to poke myself in the eye on purpose?
Why would I want to lay my heart out in the open when it appears that some would treat it badly?
Personal note......
off topic, sorry;
I've had someone to come over my wall, he did take the time to do that.
Part of the package-----ye gads not the one you all are thinking about( have not went that far, thank you)----the all of the person causes me concern.
Like the kisses...................hate, deplore the beer drinking, swearing and crotchety grumpy-----very old attitude.
Currently I'm analyzing the situation.
Back in Sept. my friends said I might have rushed to judgment and it might have been just a case of nerves on his part.
Over Christmas though it appears I wasn't wrong.
I have a ton of time to do that since I broke all 3 bones in my ankle. 
2 hearts that belong together and never want to part, takes time..........
it aint like getting fast food.
ceeceekitty | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:15:47 PM | | Hiker07: I never said I was 100 percent truthful. I said I believe in the truth 100 percent. A very different thing. I am very close to 100 percent truthful too though, I abstain when it will come to no good end. Such as in a relationship and other small areas. "Does this shirt make me look fat?" for instance. Women dont really like the truth. And they wont love you for it. They love you for telling them what they want to hear. If it happens to be the truth then its just better. | |
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| THE WALL AROUND MY HEART!!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:27:47 PM | original poster,
i think this thread title would make a great country&western song; i think you should get to work on it right away. cue to chorus:
"THE WALL AROUND MAH HEART!!!!!!!!" (head tilts down, cowboy hat covers face, camera pans over stockyard, slide guitar solo.)
itll all look better when youve got a hit single and the girls are swooning at your feet. good luck and all the best. | |
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