| Misperception of IM/emails
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:59:03 PM | | How can you tell this wonderful man that you just wanted to talk face to face instead of the way things were goin? Same way ya did here, just tell him. He runs a business, does he not? Call him at a time when he used to message you.....and tell him. He has to have a business phone doesn't he? If he won't talk to you then, write it off as his loss hon, sometimes it just has to be that way when people won't listen. Good luck. | |
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| Misperception of IM/emails
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:37:03 AM | It would scare me to death for a man to tell me "I put the others on hold, to see where this goes"...or something to that effect. It's like being on an employer's list of prospective candidates....having others lined up in case you do not fit the job requirements....
He obviously is not interested, so let it go....and perhaps the next man on the list will be more receptive...I am not trying to be unkind...but this type of communication would send even me running... | |
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| Misperception of IM/emails
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:01:02 AM | Quoting str8ahd!!!
Either way, I don't see where the "wonderful man" part is. It looks like he wanted to be in charge of every aspect of the relationship, including how and when you communicated with him.
Exactly!!
OP, me thinks there is a small, still voice in you that's saying YOU are the one who can break through his amour. Like the heroin from a romance novel. Somewhere inside him lives that man who is capable of being loved, and if you just love him enough, you'll be the one to bring it out of him. | |
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| Misperception of IM/emails
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:14:10 AM | I read the OP's first message of this thread with the description of this guy. Slap me silly if I'm wrong, but I didn't see anything worderful with this man. I've been trying to read between the lines and there's just nothing attractive about him, I'm sorry to tell.
Sometimes women are attracted to dominant, powerful and superior men and when we are wearing rose-coloured glasses, we think they are something awesome and irresistible.
My take on this is that he could me the "it's my way or the highway" type of guy. I would let this one go if I were you and find someone who is willing to meet you halfway.
The fact that you came here to seek advice means that deep down, you knew there were problems or you would be out there with him right now enjoying his company. | |
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| Misperception of IM/emails
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:32:52 AM | Himmmmm his name isn't ____ is it? Oh he sounds so much like someone I know. Total game, collect em and dump um. He can only handle balancing so many women at one time.
Yeah, he constantly looked for greener grass. I could be wrong, but bet that is what was going on and he found some grass that looks green right now to him and is blaming you because it is easier for him.
It is the ones that you don't suspect that are the best at deceiving.
Be glad you found out now and move on and look forward to a better new year. | |
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| Misperception of IM/emails
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:54:00 AM | | A perfect life for me...its all in a name they say.......this situation is far from perfect ......[ my player radar was active ]..... I don't think he is playing ......[he just never struck me that way at all]...you probably are a good judge of character........[I tried to let him know that I lead a very busy life and put other men "on hold" just to concentrate on getting to know him]......right here is the problem ....I.E when the wheels fell off.......a girls trick from way back I.E if you don't want me there are plenty that will so you better hurry up......[He thought I was giving him some sort of an ultimatum].......well it seems to me you are a very good communicator ...and he understood exactly what you were saying......[He perceived it wrong]........I think he perceived it correctly.........and panicked as you appeared to be needy and clingy to him after only 2 dates etc.....you may find this a flattering thing to be told ...but he odiously didn't and seen it as manipulation maybe ....if he has been burned before ...he has probably heard this line ..like heaps of times.......you continue with.....[just talk in person to clear things up.] ......he has made up his mind and tells you......["STOP this is getting too weird"].........then YOU want to keep badgering with [I just wanted to openly and honestly communicate face to face]...bottom line is ...he don't want to.......I think you may have jumped for the big C ( commitment) too soon I.E the I'm not going to see anyone else card......maybe next time take it slowly have fun and let things evolve naturally.......this horse has BOLTED........ | |
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| Misperception of IM/emails
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:16:11 AM | Well, this may be a lot on my part, but if a woman wants to get me involved romantically, then she better be available on the phone and be available for dates, because the time I could have spent talking to her could have been used on another female. No one wants to get romantic with someone who is not available. In a normal dating scenario, romantic connection, you talk on the phone, you don't make love by computer. I don't care how nice the man is, his controlling of the communication is horrible. I've been there where all the communication had to be the way the female wanted, per her mood, and she was a great person in many ways, but the romantic connection had to be on her terms. I am very quickly out the door if I deal with someone like that again. I learned my lesson. If a person is not ready to be mature and have a real relationship, then let me know and don't waste my time...
Don't waste your time, OP. You don't need this B.S., now do you? If there is anyone being weird, it is him. It is normal for a man or woman to expect to talk on the phone and meet People don't kiss by IM, don't hug by IM, and they certainly can't make real love by IM. | |
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| Misperception of IM/emails
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:34:27 AM | Wow.... Lot of good posts on .You either listen or you don't.
For one,Bullie knows what she's talkin' about !!!
And a few others !!!,
To me ,it seems like your hearing it ,but determined to do it your way.
In that case ,go for itand hope you have much luck and turns out the way
your "gut" feeling is leading you to believe ... | |
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