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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:19:27 PM | DoctorG read:
Just because she looked does not mean she is interested.
to which he humorously responded:
What!!!! You mean that all of those people are actually NOT in love with me??????
I cannot believe this. I am just shattered!!!
I don't believe you originally said that they were interested in you, only that you were not interested in them. After all, you are under no obligation to be interested in any woman who does not interest you.
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:27:45 PM |
I've asked woman who were older, whom I wanted to set up with a man. Three times in a row they just spealed out their conditions.....He must own his own home, not have a medical problem, must not have children and must still be sexually active..
And its been my experience that these same women can't come close to offering what they ask for. I know a rather successul woman who is short sighted, short tempered and seriously over weight but she demands that her "man" be the model of perfection.
My old profile was VERY clear that I was seeking someone who "took care of themselves in mind, body and spirit" and I can't tell you how many obese women I heard from... I'm sorry but I go to the gym 5 days a week and seeing someone 20lbs over weight is not, in my book, taking care of their mind, body and spirit. | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:32:41 PM |
And its been my experience that these same women can't come close to offering what they ask for. I know a rather successul woman who is short sighted, short tempered and seriously over weight but she demands that her "man" be the model of perfection.
My old profile was VERY clear that I was seeking someone who "took care of themselves in mind, body and spirit" and I can't tell you how many obese women I heard from... I'm sorry but I go to the gym 5 days a week and seeing someone 20lbs over weight is not, in my book, taking care of their mind, body and spirit.
Look, guys, everyone has his/her preferences, but taking pot shots at women, who are overweight, has nothing to do with the topic, and doesn't add anything to the discussion. There are some 50+ women, who are incredibly attractive, and some 20 somethings, who aren't. There is just no point in hurting someone's feelings, for absolutely no reason. | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:36:25 PM | I am always reading on here about how wonderful someone thinks they are... so in shape... can climb mountains... look and act so much younger than real-time years... healthy and active and full of life..... and this and that and this and that... yadda yadda yadda... only date someone younger/great shape so they can keep up.... so perfect and won't look "below" your level of your perceived wonderfulness to even TRY to see what is inside of someone deemed to be on a lower level.
It amazes me... the ego stuff that can fly around in the forums.
Okay, said my piece.
Just bugged me more than usual tonight, reading this stuff.
 Happy New Year everyone (seriously)
Oh, to answer the OP... I will date anyone at any age and any shape WHO IS KIND, LOVING, PEACEFUL, HAPPY AND PLEASANT.
(those are the things that count, in my opinion) | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 12/31/2007 6:58:22 PM | OMG the OPost includes so many thoughts and everything and questions that I found a major turn-off. It is analyses like these that kill peoples libidos, at whatever age. Is bashing 50+ mens' sexual apetite or ability the latest pet thing in the POFF forums? Wining, wining, responsibilities and mind blowing out analysoids can indeed dampen libido! Not in my case, I am 45 and as horny as ever, but maybe it is due to the fact I have not been married and had a legally tied to me woman con-fusing up my brain every day!! Seriously, thinking is good, but some kind of thinking (?) processes are a major libido killer.
Bottom Line: Age does not matter, IMO. For rel. Who on earth needs marriage after 40? Maybe for green card reasons of the partner only (to the US, EU, etc)!!! LMAO!
So IMO age does not matter, she can be 50, 55, 40, 45, 47, 37, any age in principle between 20** and 70!!! Age does not determine similarity of interests or sexual apetite etc of men or women. People have 3 ages: Their official one, the age they look and the age they feel (and 4: their "sexual" age). IMO people who waste energy on trivia pursuits and chores pay the bill down the line.
Being active: The best kind of activity is sex with a thoughful but not chaotically thinking partner! Who wants to waste energy hiking, biking, jogging etc when it can be put at better use via sex/making love?
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:01:46 PM | Robin4Wheels wrote:
I am always reading on here about how wonderful someone thinks they are... so in shape... can climb mountains... look and act so much younger than real-time years... healthy and active and full of life..... and this and that and this and that... yadda yadda yadda... only date someone younger/great shape so they can keep up.... so perfect and won't look "below" your level of your perceived wonderfulness to even TRY to see what is inside of someone deemed to be on a lower level.
It amazes me... the ego stuff that can fly around in the forums.
Okay, said my piece.
Everybody has their own choices and preferences. Who exactly is it who gets to sit in judgment on what interests another person and to determine if their choices and preferences are valid? I know it's not me. If somebody's preferences are based upon physical condition or age or intelligence or whatever--that's their business, so who am I to tell them they are wrong? So you might try and look at it that way. Besides, the number 1 Commandment here at POF is:
THOU SHALT NOT SETTLE! | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:08:58 PM | Ah yes, I forgot, from the Opost:
"... Just curious about how you'd feel at that age when looking for a permanent partner..."
I hate to be the one to remind that nothing lasts forever but the Earth and Sky (Kansas, "Dust in the Wind")! So "permanent partner"? What on Earth???? Unless we are talking "Highlanders".
Plus in my native country, they say "nothing is more permanent than the temporary".
"Permanent Partner"!!  Some people! | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:09:26 PM |
Besides, the number 1 Commandment here at POF is:
THOU SHALT NOT SETTLE!
Actually, that's the refrain for those who "can't get a date" to tell themselves that they could, but "choose not to", because they "won't settle". Meanwhile, those who understand that one's value "in the market" is determined by "the market", rather than their own wishful thinking, make adjustments, and manage to have this site work for them just fine.
Have you ever noticed that the women, who have the most bitter things to say about men over 50, who sometimes date younger women, are women over 50? Somehow, those men that they "wouldn't settle" for, being "taken" by someone much younger, just infuriates some of them. | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 12/31/2007 7:41:28 PM | MeloFelo wrote:
Have you ever noticed that the women, who have the most bitter things to say about men over 50, who sometimes date younger women, are women over 50? Somehow, those men that they "wouldn't settle" for, being "taken" by someone much younger, just infuriates some of them.
Yes, yes I have noticed that and it is amusing to see how they get p-o-ed to the max about it.
I do believe that people are entitled to their own preferences, but my comment about Thou Shalt Not Settle was actually a shot at those who are so noble and self righteous about their preferences and their demanding of a standard of perfection which they do not always, or seldom, meet themselves. Then they just, sighhh, cannot find anyone because they will not settle. Break out the crocodile tears and violins for that lot. | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:45:25 AM | OP, as a guy of 51, I would say there's not a definite answer to this question.
The reason is, I've noticed that people when they reach their mid 40's or so, begin to "age" differently, both mentally and physically.
Some of this could be genetic, some of it could be life experiences and attitude.
I've seen this with people I've known for many years.
That said, I would marry a woman of my chronological age IF she's as "young" as I am.
I still have virtually the same spirit, exuberance, passion, and sex drive I had when I was in my mid to late 20's (I could make love every day), and I wouldn't be happy with a woman who isn't where I am.
But I'm finding as I get older, that more and more women my age are too "old" for me. | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:54:11 AM | I take a lot of older men and also women as desperately trying to hold onto their youth by attaching themselves to young people. Age is a reality so I hope that some can accept aging gracefully. Although I very much enjoy the eye candy of young women, I am fine with people my own age.
It seems that most people can associate to younger people easier because they themselves where at that age and we remember it. However, as we look at the older ones, those just a few years older, they seem more of a fit for the generation one tier above us. Why? Well, because we have not been there at that age ourselves before. Over 50 can really begin to rob us of our youthful looks. Most 45 year olds can pass for 35. Most people 50 can just pass for 48 with a few exceptions.
It makes me smile when I see a woman in her 40's that only wants to meet men her age and below by 10 or 15 years. I think to myself, poor dear, she's so desperate to hold onto her youth.
"Young" is attractive so I would never fault someone for becoming smitten over someone young. So, I am happy for you that you are able to be with women that please you in a way you find so important. Some would say you are a very lucky man. When I am with a woman my age, I feel lucky too... That's because I am also with a young woman for I see in her the young woman she once was. | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:59:43 AM | | I find a 5 years difference either way comfortable. We have the same reference points and seem to understand each other better. Truth be told, I'm emailed quite frequently by young men in their 20's and I don't get it at all. I generally reply to them that I would hurt them with my knowledge. | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:04:31 AM |
The reason is, I've noticed that people when they reach their mid 40's or so, begin to "age" differently, both mentally and physically.
Some of this could be genetic, some of it could be life experiences and attitude.
I've seen this with people I've known for many years.
For those of us, who are in our 50s, that division is remarkably clear. There are many, who are focused on "retirement", and looking forward to it as a time, when they won't "have to work". There are others, who really can't imagine not continuing to have professional goals and accomplishments as part of life, or for those who are financially comfortable enough to do so, imagining a whole new active life travelling the world, or starting a new company, or whatever.
There are those of us in our 50s, who still entertain the idea of raising children, rather than "visiting grand children", who embrace technology, and are often among the first to use it. Then there are those, who complain about change, and think ipods and cell phones are destroying our culture.
To some extent, there will be a disproportionate number of "youthful" older people on POF than the general population, because most people, having already "retired" from being sexual creatures, would never join a "dating site".
So, OP, I have less in common, in terms of dating, relationships, and sex, with someone my age, than I would with someone in her 30s, or a youthful 40 something, or a woman in her 50s, who sees herself as "Wendy" as much as I see myself as "Peter Pan". :) | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:08:02 AM | | I have married older than me and 10 years younger than me and at my age now I want a man around my age as passages do make a difference and then you are on the same page but I have the problem of not looking like a senior citizen and all ole men look so o o old but age is important. From 50 to whatever age men have no hair no teeth and pot bellies ...Is that not sad and why is that? | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:08:35 AM |
OMG the OPost includes so many thoughts and everything and questions that I found a major turn-off. It is analyses like these that kill peoples libidos, at whatever age. Is bashing 50+ mens' sexual apetite or ability the latest pet thing in the POFF forums?
Being that I be the OP in this case... I'm sorry the Q bothered you. I actually posted it because of a guy who is in his 50's who was perfectly content to play with me (I'm 34) and other women my age. In fact I think he prefers this. But then when a 50's woman who was "fit" and "attractive" smiled his way, he took off for her because she has less "baggage", aka no young kids, and he said he couldn't marry someone like me. So that is why I posted the question. His sexual appetite is/was just fine.
And, as I've said many times in this thread, I personally can't think "long term"...divorcing as I am, I just can't see how people can think like him - that a 34 yr old would never be happy w/him long term so he can only "marry" a woman his age who won't leave him in 15 years. Who the heck can think 15 years down the road any more??? *I* don't want to remarry. At least not for a long time. I don't want to cohabitate with another man. Too dang hard. So I guess I wondered if marriage was someone's goal, did the age thing suddenly come into play, rather than dating for happiness.
Ok? Are your feelings less hurt?
Kaylie | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:11:56 AM |
To some extent, there will be a disproportionate number of "youthful" older people on POF than the general population, because most people, having already "retired" from being sexual creatures, would never join a "dating site".
MF...that is something I have been thinking also as this thread has progressed. That we on here do not represent the general population at all. Because everyone on here is at least still aware that the opposite sex exists. :) And are perhaps still interested in a love life. Those who couldn't care less about the sexual/romantic side of them self-select out.
Thank you for your contribution...as always you are very insightful.
Kaylie
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:28:27 AM | I WOULD LOVE SOME AROUND 56,i AM 67. AND I HAVE NO CHOICE . ONLY YOUNGER MEN ARE OUT THERE. i FEEL YOUNG AND HAVE A HARD TIME TALKING TO OLDER MEN. They all mWANT SOME ONE 60 OUR YOUNGER. SO ILL GO FOR YOUNGER.AND FOR A MAN FULL OF
LIFE.
OPEN TO ALL Men | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:14:16 AM | Those of us who are in our 50s are on the bubble in a lot of ways. Physically, if we have made an effort to take care of our bodies and health and be fortunate enough to have good genes, it is likely that we would look younger--sometimes much younger, than our age. On the other hand there are those who have let themselves go--the couch potatoes, the men with the Homer Simpson physique, the women who have become frumpy--maybe from having had children and then not having a lot of interest in keeping their bodies in shape because they figured they would be married forever. There are stereotypes for both men and women about how they look at I certainly don't buy into the strawman presentation of men over 50 being fat, no teeth, and no hair (how exactly is losing his hair a man's "fault"?)
There is also the work bubble because those of us in our 50s could still be working strong in our jobs and careers while others might be retired or on the verge of retirement. Where we are in relation to this will affect our outlook on what we want and the kind of person we might be looking for to have a relationship.
We might be on different planes in regards to our families, children, or the desire to have children. There are certainly many people in their 50s who are grandparents and might not be too far off from being great grandparents. Particularly men, there may be those in their 50s who still have young children and there may be men in their 50s who still desire to have children, or more children and that certainly would have an impact upon the age of a woman for whom they would look. Then there are both men and women in their 50s who have no desire for anymore children, but if they have grandchildren they are close to then that might impact on where they might be willing to relocate geographically.
As far as the subject question goes, I prefer to break out of the "put me in an age category" box. If I were to marry, it would be to a woman, no matter what her age may be, who lines up and matches well with who I am. I have taken good care of myself and look younger than my age (that so many say that does not mean that it cannot be true) and if I were with a younger woman I am sure nobody would say, "My God, look at that young woman cuddling with her father--gasp!!" I still have the energy level of a younger man and I have no plans to retire anytime soon and I am not ready for the rocking chair. I have no biological children, but I am not adverse to having children and have been told by people who know me that I would have been a great father. So if it actually came to marrying, I could be happy with somebody near my own age or even younger. And if we both love each other, no matter what our age difference may be, it is nobody's business but ours. | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/1/2008 11:26:54 AM | | People become more and more of who they really are every day. Lies have short legs and honor can make your heart breath the cleanest air. People are attracted to the people their true selves need to be with. Other bonds do not last. Everyone is different and becoming the person they really are. If you are not honest with that the person you said you loved may have to face disappointment....(HINT: Age(old or young) is not a real factor but a masking illusion.) | |
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| If you are over 50, would you rather marry same age or younger?
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:08:16 PM |
Yes, I realize that there are women out there my age who are fitter than me, but they are a rare animal, elusive, and they are looking for guys 20 years younger than them
I think the funniest thing I got out of this thread is how both sexes end up looking for folk younger than them. I know, I know, a lot of it is "fit" both that elusive chemistry and also fitness level. I know that it's a generalization also.
But still...it's interesting. Is that that the majority of us - both genders - just let ourselves go as we age? Is it a physical inevitability? Arthritis, back problems, sports injuries, overeating, diabetes.. do they just add up as we age? And so the few folk who age gracefuly and are fit want ot be with other fit folk, who statistically are younger???
I am not 50 yet. I have 15 years.... so that tells me I have 15 years to get off my butt and get moving so I"ll be attractive to the op sex when that day comes! I already have lost my skinny 21 year old body. Not that it was all that attractive, truth be told. But I wonder if we need to get moving now if we want to look good later. Hmmm...
I'm actually embarking on a new fitness plan. Nothing too difficult. Just a plan to get myself moving. Exercise is good for the soul, not just the body.
Kaylie | |
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