| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:11:20 AM | i Don't know if this will Disappoint you
or give you renewed faith but it is still
out there. I did that for someone once
for 2.5 years, Then she said she'd had enough.
NOW...i have someone that knows how to
treat a man properly.
So yeah. it still exists. 
Happy New year To all | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:22:51 AM | I am one who likes the gestures....flowers....notes ...texts just to say I am thinking of you. and yes..I have done these things for men in the past
someone here gave me a gift...of sorts.....not the flowery...romantic kind...but one that I needed at the time.....he gave me the gift of information...on how to fix a problem with my car.....for that I am eternally grateful.....
I love romance.....but sometime practical gifts are the best...
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:56:23 AM | I wonder if we look past the small things. There has been many times where I look back and say OMG he did this for me and that for me and I didn't notice it.
Yes, ladies, it is the small things that men do, that they want us to notice.
Think of it like this :)...
First of all a man has the heart of a child. He REALLY does when that steel coating is pulled back for just a moment :)
With that in mind think of your little boy handing you a picture he painted for you. It is so simple and you smile down as paint drips all over your white carpet.
See we have to notice the little things.
Here is an example of my best friend honoring me (I feel like he did this for me but never admitted it or anything. I like to think that he did simply because we talked about it prior and he happened to do it on my birthday).
We both worked for a business community and he sold an e-Book he wrote. Well he came to me about just giving them away but was concerned that the ones who bought it may be upset. I told him that I wouldn't be upset. I would be happy because I am just a giving type person. It made me feel good that he spent all this time just to give his book away.
Well he went around the community on my birthday and gave the book away to everyone. I still smile about it because he does the cutest little sweet things for people. That makes me love him.
Another example is when he took two of our friends' pics and made the cutest tag for them. Guys don't do things like this now and days. When they do that steel covering is pulled back and that is the time to let him know just how much he is appreciated!
So I said all that (phewww) to say this: YES they exist and YES so do women who love to give. The ones that don't, have insecurities and don't know how to accept it or they are playing games. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:05:34 PM | One behaves like a gentleman because that is who you are and not because of what is expected. If you want the benefits of a gentleman you should date them. If it isn't obvious
it won't become apparent later. WARNING: It is possible to mimic a gentleman. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:22:59 PM | Yeah, gentlemen still exist. I have no problem doing those things. But it seems in this day and age of Sex and the City, there really isn't much of a need for them. There is no need for courting rituals, or being virtuious, or poems or roses.
Romance is buying a girl a drink, then getting in her panties at the end of the night.
Though I'm very much much a romantic, it seems that romance is a dated idea. Think about it, allot of women here are screwing someone right now. There is no way in hell i'd be anything close to romantic for some woman who uses her body freely with no regard to virtue. Most women don't see anything wrong with that. And that's fine, I'm not knocking it. But romance is for women who've saved themselves (not that there are many left), not occasional bar sluts hiding behind "it's my body". | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 12:43:41 PM | Being a single gentleman thats extra sweet to every lady he meets is like owning a zippo lighter when you don't smoke.
Sure, you can use it to light other people's smokes... but after you lit their smoke, they turn away and forget you in less than 20 seconds.
I'm saving my zippo lighter to maybe light someone's heart on fire... Ciggarettes are too small time for me. I wanna start a huge inferno but lighting up fried up abandonned condos in deserted wastelands gets boring after awhile.
-Mr. D (the arsonist of love)
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:00:27 PM | But, it's incredibly hard to find a woman that appreciates all the little things. Where are they? They go after men that treat them like crap, hoping they will do the things that some of us romantic saps.
So what you're saying is that you go after women who treat you like crap? Hoping they will respond to the things you do as a romantic sap?
Sauce: Gander/Goose, lol!
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:21:04 PM | That's IT too much of the time . . . The schmuck sending flowers is the idiot- SHE just wants her damn car fixed . . . Hmmm, that's also why we get so tired of buying the coffee, the drinks, the dinner, the f*9king movie tickets . . .
So ladies, when you get ready to tell the poor sap (dozens of flowers later) that you "don't cook", be ready when he asks you "Who the hell feeds YOU?"
WE do.
That's a 'practical' explanation about why women wonder about "sweet gestures"- a "sweet gesture" would be to just cook dinner for the dumb flower-sending mook, even though you live on Diet Coke, Sweet-N-Low, and crackers . . .
Ladies can do "sweet gestures" too. <img
Yeah, maybe a 'tickle' at 3:00 AM, maybe a six-pack with you wrapped in cellophane, maybe YOU go to that burger joint HE likes, and YOU drive that night, and ACT like you 'like' him . . . (Yeah, you ought to pay for the damn burger, o.k?)
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:40:01 PM | | In my experience.....men are after sex. Period. I do all the nice things and get back nothing but stupid remarks and sexual innuendos. I don't mind.....I now have zero tolerance and a great belief in Karma. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:51:03 PM | I've said it before and I'll say it again... women SAY they want these things... that fairy tale romance BUT when they get it they go through the following stages:
1) Elation;
2) Acceptance;
3) Expectation;
4) For granted;
5) Cheating *
6) Dumping.
* Is sometimes omitted but generally not.
This process can take as little as 4 weeks or up to 4 years but it always ends the same.
What women really want is a man. Being a man doesn't mean you can't be romantic but when you start being a sissy girl wussy giving her everything she wants then she won't want you. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:55:54 PM | They are becoming rare. The reason however isn't to be blamed on the men. The ones at fault are the women. Women have should be who they choose to date and associate with that manners and poems, and all the nice little things are just a waste. Those are all things that the nice guy do and what has it gotten/or does it get them? NOTHING!!!! Women still are primarily attracted to jerks and all the nice gets do is listen to them complain about all the jerks, but then they will go right back to them. Basically all those things are not necessary. If you do all those things your a nice guy, but being the nice guy won't get you any more dates than being a jerk will (and probably less). You'll just be the nice guy that she's not interested in. Doing all those things also makes a man look sort of weak, needy a too anxious for a relationship which turns the woman off even more.
Sure women like those things....but it doesn't mean they will like the guy that does those things. It actually has the opposite affect. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:09:02 PM | Nope - since sweet gestures and "rituals of love" as you call them are buried under most women's cynicism, and perceived (by them) as ways to get into their pants. If your boyfriend brought you flowers and wrote you poems frequently, and kept giving of himself, you'll soon think he's a pushover and? Push him over for the next guy. Also, any man who does this sort of stuff will all of a sudden be too "girlie" for you - see thread " When men get all "GIRLIE" "
Perhaps if gals appreciated "sweet" back in high school, men would have reason to prolong its practice. Otherwise, it's impractical.
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:42:50 PM | Maybe if everyone wasn't so busy battling each other, they could find mates. But if I look at every guy and think, well there's just no use trying, or putting any effort into a relationship, because of the way I've been treated in the past, then there's not going to be anyone in the future. I'm not willing to put up with a lot of crap either. But I am at least willing to give someone a chance without immediately thinking they are the bad guy. I don't think ALL guys are exactly alike. And don't get me wrong, I know some people are awful, and treat people terrible, and stomp all over their hearts, and the majority of relationships are not going to work out, but some do. I spoke with a male friend last night and he said every woman he had been involved with, screwed him over financially, he has a very nice income. And like I told him, you are just picking the wrong women, there are women that can stand on their own 2 feet and not have to take everything he has, but be more selective. But if you want a relationship, you've got to let go of the past and look at each one with fresh eyes. Not blind eyes. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:53:01 PM | Ok, I got an offline message asking me to explain my stages:
1) Elation - so happy every time you do something and they are always telling their friends and coworkers about every gesture.
2) Acceptance - they no longer tell their girl friends and co workers about your efforts;
3) Expectation - what? no flowers? you always give me flowers on Friday!;
4) For granted - no comment what-so-ever or perhaps she'll ask you to buy her better flowers;
5) Cheating * - self explanatory but you can bet its with a real jerk who made her think she'd be lucky if she were allowed to bring HIM flowers... maybe even YOUR flowers!
6) Dumping - this comes when she has learned she has tamed and trained you but the jerk is still a challenge.
Oh and that same person said I sounded bitter... uhhh... nope! Actually thankful. I learned that lesson and realized I needed to change and I became a better man as a result.
These forums are littered with posts describing this same process and its always the same sad story. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:22:52 PM | Gentlemen are out there. You just have to filter out the noise. Take a solid look at where you are "fishing" (I love that term on POF). If you are fishing in a rotten area, you will always pull carp. Set your standards higher and look at better areas to meet someone special. IE...stay clear of the bars.
Another thing....you are at an online dating site. This one doesn't have many filters. Try another site for a month and mold your "perfect partner."
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:31:20 PM | Trust me, essex23, we are waiting too.
I have taught both of my sons how to treat women, perhaps too well. They spoil the women who take advantage of them. I spoil my men but can't find one who will spoil me!
What's a girl to do? I guess just sit here quitely on the side of the bank and keep throwing out the bait and hope the knot on the line is secure till I can reel in the right one! In the mean time, catch and release. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:02:57 PM | If that's true, well, I might as well quit since I'm now the cream has soured on me.
However, sour cream can still be put to good use on my baked potatoe
I consider myself to be a gentleman and still open doors for the ladies, helps her with her coat etc . etc. Perhaps it's that I'm an old fashioned fellow that still believes in these acts of respect. I do not reserve these acts just for someone I might be dating either.....which is why I'm on here..looking for that special someone.
But.... that hasn't happened yet and only who knows why not.
Just my opinion. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/1/2008 11:32:44 PM | Yes! I find that men are romantics and enjoy all rituals of love. The more I appreciate the more I receive. One evening I invited a friend of mine and her husband for dinner. He brought me flowers just because he said he loved watching my delight and smile. My friend pointed out they had both noticed over the years how even the smallest gesture of kindness and love had me respond with great appreciation and delight.
I never reject, ignore or take for granted an act of romance or love from friend, partner or family: male or female. All compliments, acts of love and gifts are embraced, cherished and acknowledged, even those that are not to my taste.
The tides will never turn as long as those on the receiving end appreciate! It is within our basic nature to nurture, romance and love. Only rejection or lack of appreciation will have man or woman stop the rituals of love.
"Reward that which you want repeated" | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:13:08 AM | Of course, gentlemen exist. Why wouldn't they? How about the women out there who can really appreciate a man? Many men often feel women don't appreciate men enough... I mean we aren't all so bad...
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:20:00 AM | | I can be quite the romantic guy and gentleman, but it depends soley on the woman, my last serious relationship was with a woman from another country that regularly visited the US about every other month. We were living that romantic fantasy that people only dream of, everything was perfect, she went back to school in New Zealand, I went on deplyoment, it ended. However, I've dated women who expected that even if they treated people like dirt, that a man should be gentleman to them. I can't do that, I cannot swallow my pride a treat a woman who is a flaming C##T with respect of any sort. And believe me, I have met a few of those types of women on this website. I've met some nice women too, but none that I feel I could be a romance superstar with. Women have to bring it to the table just like men do, then and only then will it happen. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:59:04 AM | [Women have to bring it to the table just like men do, then and only then will it happen. ] So very true Sexybear101!
Gentlemen do exist!!
I've actively looked for a gentleman and have found a few myself! So yes they do exist.
A Wise older guy told me once "A true lady will find a true gentleman" and he was right. So ladies, careful evaulate what you are actually looking at and you too will find one! | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:31:21 AM | Yep all the other posters are right. Gentlemen do exist. I do all of the little polite and simple things when I'm spoiling my special somebody. To the poster who said he sometimes thought those gestures weren't need any more of course they're needed. Its part of what women want in an ideal man. It sets you apart and makes you unique from the rest of the men out there. Gentlemen seem like a dying breed sometimes and while we are over looked a lot of the time, we'll still find us the comely lady we were looking for which in the end is all that matters.
So never get down upon yourself or believe that your manners are taken for granted there is a woman out there who'd love to appreciate them.
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