| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/11/2008 10:55:40 PM | Karl-in-Pcola: It is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and it is GREAT!! I recommend this book to people all the time. When you do the POF Needs test, the final "Preferred Expressions of Affection" looks like it was based on this book.
I know that it sure answered a lot of questions about things that had happened in previous relationships for me. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:05:43 PM | One thing I've noticed is that a lot of the men who did sweet gestures and were all around gentlemen usually end up getting screwed in the end.
you couldnt have said it better if i wanted too.. If women would take the time to appreciate the little things men do instead of taking them for granit then the gent side wouldnt be so hard to see.. As a woman I feel that men some times need a break.. Why is it the mans responibility to buy the flowers, or send the notes or make the sincere gestures of love.. It's not we as women also need to in return do the same for the ones we care about. If it makes us feel good, well its gonna make them feel good as well. they just have the shock factor to adjust tooo since men arent accustomed to it. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/12/2008 5:30:54 PM | | Of course- gentlemen do exist, even in the wild & wacky world of online dating. But a gentleman isn't a guy who supplies dinner or flowers. It's a guy who listens, treats you as his equal, demonstrates respect, courtesy, understanding, and consistency in his actions and words, over time. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/12/2008 5:48:23 PM | We gentlemen still absolutely exist. Flowers, candy and hugs for no reason are all a part of whom I am. Call me sexist, but I feel a man should open doors, stand when a lady comes to the table, and yes; pick up the cheque.
Thomas | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:12:23 PM | Karl in PCola
I have gotten that book(from another friend's recommendation. I have started to read it. I already understand what you speak of, as I have been seeing this person for quite awhile. He is indeed one to show me that he cares by changing my oil, etc, by never mentioning, nor complaining of the 2 hr drive to see me every weekend(I do reciprocate when able, but I have a teenage daughter). He spends his free time with me, and is really a wonderful man. He IS affectionate and touchy feely by the way. He has also become much more open in verbalizing his feelings. The issue that I deal with is that he is really not a phone or email person. He is also not one to buy small gifts, send cards or anything of the like. I have adjusted(respectfully so) to this, and am pretty darn happy. It is hardest when he is out of town though, because I get lonely. He has been single for 18 years, and he deals with being away from me much better than I do, although I do know that he honestly misses me. I catch up on my to do list, exercise, read, spend time with my daughter, and try not to think about him so much. Unfortunately I am at that wonderful age when hormones play rotten tricks on me, and once in a blue moon, my emotions take over and I spill out some I wish this or thats. Not very often, only twice to be exact. Then I count my lucky stars, apologize, and I am fine. LOL He never holds it against me, as his mother warned him about menopause.....lol
I really do not want to train him. I know that over time, he will grow accustomed to being in a relationship. He also never had a woman in his life who was really good to him, could be trusted, counted on, etc. He stands amazed sometimes, that I really am who I am. I think at first he expected me to change, to dissappoint him. I know that he is really happy as well. We appreciate one another's differences and when together..........sigh, its wonderful!
He IS a gentleman, very much so. It does not take romantic gestures for that. I do suppose that anything one does to express love is romantic, even if it's not on the traditional list such as sending flower, leaving notes, etc.
He did leave me a song once , on my cell. It was "I Got You Babe" by Cher. It was very sweet and I think I listened to it several times. He also called out of the blue at 2PM one day to tell me that he was thinking about me and that he loved me. As I said, it seems that nature is taking it's course. As we grow closer, he seems to be more open and loving. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:34:29 PM |
blondeinny
It's a guy who listens, treats you as his equal, demonstrates respect, courtesy, understanding, and consistency in his actions and words, over time.
Very well said...
But that's only half the coin and I won't speak too much about the rest... Just let me say no woman is going to respect her man if he doesn't stand up for her and on rare occassions when necessary in oppostion to her...
Please don't ask me to explain that if you don't already understand it. I'm not saying be abusive or controlling just that each of us (Male & Female) need to be put in our place when we act like spoiled brats. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:44:52 PM | flowers or poems Im not sure of. But the sweet gestures, yeah.
I have recently started dating this guy and after just 2 dates he found and recorded my favorite show, One tree hill. And actually sat down with me and watched it, knowing it was a "chick" show.
To me that was a very sweet gesture and I loved it.
So yeah there are guys out there that will do it.
Good luck, I know its hard to find guys like that. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:46:26 PM | A true gentleman treats a lady with respect. Does the things like flowers and nice candle lit dinners because he wants to. Men will do these things with expectations....IE brownie points. Gentlemen still exist but are as rare as they always have been . No more ...no less.
Dennis | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:24:40 PM | | That is so true,we do exist.I guess i'm old enough too still have that romantic side,I love giving gifts too women,even women i havent met in RL will get flowers on V'day or mothers day..isnt that what friendship is all about?On the other side of the coin..I got a lady friend roses for her Bday..one for every yr..she threw them out the window,a lot of women today dont appreciate the subtle romantic gestures or misunderstand the gesture altogether.Perhaps younger women (and men)should be educated to the art of romance and just what it represents | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:28:26 PM | newtoyou33,
This is handyman37840, your problem is you are just too young. The age of men treating women like real ladies has passed for your generation. I am 69 years old and I get my sweetheart a box of candy for valentines day, flowers for her birthday, and sometimes just a rose for no reason just to let her know I love her. This day and age the women keep wanting equal rights so when they get treated like a man they don't like that, so which do you want to be treated equally like a man or like a lady you just can't have it both ways.  | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/13/2008 9:34:32 PM | ^^^^handyman, give the girl a break.
She is NOT too young, and seems quite intelligent and reasonable to me. She can have a gentleman who allows her the decency of respecting who she is if she likes. Being treated with respect, does not mean she cannot be shown sweet gestures. It is OLDER people like you who think everything has to be black or white. She has a sense of humor, and respects her elders so she would never write this...........I am sending it for her. )
Now asking for auburn hair at 69 (profile says 68) IS kind of hilarious , to ME (I am NOT too young, even though she was half your age and I am 20 years your junior. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/13/2008 9:47:06 PM | Yes, they do. They might be rarer these days but if you look hard enough you will find them.
I was in a relationship where he sent me dozen of roses for no special occasion, all the time. One girl at work thought I was dating a florist.  He also told me early in the relationship that I was to never pay for anything. Knowing how independent I am, that was tough for me to adjust to. But I always did sweet things in return. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/13/2008 11:32:54 PM | | I guess it might be my area or city....but i've had lots of guys hold doors for me when i go places and be polite and let me go first (on the bus) when they are clearly closer to the door...lol not saying it's romantic or anything, i'm just glad that there are still guys out there like that. =P | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:55:14 PM | We are out there we are just tired of getting passed over for jack asses and have given up cause Nice and Gentlemen like actions get you nothing and being aprick works
sorry bitter Topic
just for get the above statment | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:55:49 AM | i have to say in the past i did the bad boy thing by treating her bad not going home
days on end witch made me feel at that time like a man but i was young its went on for years she kicked me out let me back in agen over and over. till one day is did not let me in good for her. then a few years down the line i meet someone who i fell in love with in a big way i spent a lot of time geting all the nice things flowers gifts taking her out for meals weekends away then is leaves me say i am to nice so can someone tell me how do u treat someone with out being to bad or nice. becuse it seems to me no matter what u do its never right | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:18:37 PM | | Yes we still exist . When I am in a relationship I like to send flowers when she has had a bad day or something great has happened. I open doors and try to listen ( that way you know what to get for bdays etc..) . As some posters have already mentioned you usually get taken for granted. I won't change though because that is my nature and I have not become jaded yet . To all good fishing. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 2/18/2008 8:46:04 AM | Hey to all,
I really liked this forum...so many different posts but all saying the same thing. I honestly think that many women have been hurt by people who didn't know what they wanted and it's hard for them to think there is such a man out there. If men paid more attention to their mates instead of drinking with the boys there would be far less divorces. Why do couples grow a part? Simple....no communication! No gesture s of affection or Love. I have known all my life that women require emotional intimacy not physical intimacy like the man does. If you are with the right person, keep their Love bank full by doing nice things for her...house work, laundry, cook her nice meals and enjoy it with her, do things with her even if you hate it and never complain. Giving is a two way street, don't give to receive...give because you Love her and because her happiness is far more important than yours. If you do treat her well, she will bend over backwards for you and give you more Lovin than you can handle. Everybody makes mistakes and overlooks important issues in a relationship but it takes a bigger man to say he was sorry than it does to walk away. I know when I find the right girl for me I will spoil her with Loving gestures and wait on her as much as she will let me and it will not look clingy or other wise. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:26:09 AM | Hallelujah!!A man who actually understands what women want!Well done EMPATHY WITH ONE.Maybe now some of you guys can understand why some of us women get jaded with dating.We are not that complicated.All we want is honesty,to be treated with respect and integrity and in return we will give the same with the added bonus of affection, love, understanding etc.I have always treated the guys i have dated with respect, honesty and integrity,have shown love and understanding only to have it thrown in my face.Maybe they have been waiting for me to suddenly change and become the proverbial **** becos maybe thats what they have been used to.Who knows.I just want me a man who will treat me with all those things ive mentioned,with the little sweet gestures etc and he will have it returned tenfold.But hey, if thats not what you want then dont a come knocking on my door! | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:33:55 AM | WELL DARL'N,IF YOU HAVE TO ASK THAT QUESTION,IT TELLS ME YOUR PICK'N OR HANG OUT WITH THE WRONG GUYS.MYSELF,I'VE BEEN DO'N ALL THAT SENCE I WAS 15.AND MORE NOW,AND HUST GOT BETTER AT IT OVER THE YEARS.AS YOU CAN SEE BY MY PROFILE,I WRITE POETRY STUFF,,MOSTLY MUSHY,,BUT NOT ALL.SO YOU BETTER FIND A BETTER PLACE TO HANG OUT EHH,,,COWBOY | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:56:23 AM | Sorry Honey--but its the same old problem about how Women re-act these days.
Ask Men (like myself),who have been insulted for holding Door s open or offering a seat on Bus/Train --2wks ago I offered a heavly-pregnant Woman a seat on a Tube & was loudly told where to go---not very nice for her two other young Kids by her side either). I can assure you its very common from Women of all walks of life & class. This leaves us Men ,unsure of just how far we should bother to be a GentleMan when the ''Laddett-in-all-Women''appears to be simmering non-stop. | |
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| Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:09:12 PM | | you know, ive always fancied myself as "that guy" ive been the gentleman, ive done the whole flowers for no reason thing, ive always written poems to girls i was seeing, you know that romatic stuff, but ive always been screwed over in the end. The last girl i was seeing i cared for alot, took her out to dinner, bought her thoughtful gifts for her for valentines day but she never apreichiated it, and she broke my heart. She played me and since then ive tried to shy away from that alittle, i dunno if its because of my age range, and the type of girls ive seen i dunno.. | |
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