| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:08:14 PM | dont "change". EVOLVE.
fix yourself on the inside and it will effect your outside. when you have it together, youre automatically more attractive.
dont try to fit into a mold that isnt you. find out what makes you feel good and pursue it with passion.
AND LEARN HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE. people who are loners and hermits will stay that way. you have to be around and interact with people if you ever hope to find one that will love you. THIS IS SO VERY IMPORTANT. | |
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 3/10/2008 6:08:41 PM | My ex-g/f said don`t change who you are because you won`t be happy. I thought I could change especially for her but that wouldn`t work.
So, I am who I am. Take me as I am or not at all. I will not give up my life for another because no one will change for me. | |
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:03:33 AM | How about engaging in dialogue instead of monologue when you converse with a woman, whether that is person to person, on the phone, or in email?? My pet complaint with some of the messages I get from men, is that if you ask them to tell you a bit more about themselves they will launch into monologue...write an indepth description about themselves, without asking you so much as one question about yourself. How can anyone respond to that??? Of course, I don't respond because to me monologue so early into things is a red flag. Something I think a person can easily change to make themselves more attractive to the opposite sex, is learning to engage in dialogue instead of turning someone off with excessive monologue!!!
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:24:54 AM | | Change is usually a good thing. But I would hope the motivation stems from something positive - not in order to become more desireable for someone else but to be the best you can be...for yourself. If the focus is on evolving yourself, I believe the rest will follow. | |
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:40:14 AM | I think we as people tend to change ourselves anyway. Our minds, bodies, and lives change as we age and go through trials and such.
We are always changing, but in terms of changing for others, a lot may say they wouldn't but when it comes down to it, we do it without noticing. We are so zoned in to what the "media" wants, or likes and we slowly (or rather rapidly) change, and mold ourselves to be accepted. As we age, we want to look better, we dress ourselves in the latest (or it was latest at some point) fashions, fix our teeth, wear make up, surgery, etc. the list goes on. It certainly isn't for ourselves all the time that we "change" its usually to be accepted or attract attention. | |
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:44:53 AM |
My pet complaint with some of the messages I get from men, is that if you ask them to tell you a bit more about themselves they will launch into monologue...write an indepth description about themselves, without asking you so much as one question about yourself. How can anyone respond to that??? Of course, I don't respond...
Silly them, they probably thought they were following your rules precisely by doing exactly what you wanted them to do... | |
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:48:48 AM | If your life has been enriched at all by staying exactly as you are, raise your hand. I strive for change. Change is scary but necessary. As for your list, here is a simple thing to change if you don't already.
When someone pays you a compliment, the only appropriate response is "Thank You".
(From Life's Little instruction book)
When in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
When in an argument, admit fault. | |
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:57:52 AM | This is very cosmic question... i'm just thanking jesus and all those higher forces that i have been such a complete and utter arsehole in the past ...because it has left the way clear to find the most beautiful woman in the world..
Every date i went on i said to myself... i must not talk so much.. i must not talk so much about myself.. i must not be so ****ing opinionated... but then i could not help myself and i ****ed up.. Then i found a wonderful woman with a sense of humour... gives me more of a reason to change if i am to hang onto her...
i think that there is a thin line between being yourself, and thus attracting the woman who will really love you for who you are.... and being so insensitive to the needs of others that you do not find anyone...
So be yourself i would say is much more important than "little gifts"... my advice is to say to the woman "let me know as soon as i'm being an arsehole and i'll see what i can do about it.. " just got to say that with confidence or a sence of humour. | |
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 10:14:53 AM | a person not willing to change or learn "evolve " is already dead ! i neccessarily don't change for anyone except myself and the awareness and desire to reach full clarity of what life has to offer me , i'm always open to perpetual change ! that's how we evolve.
in any relationship ots not called change is "compromise " ask any couple who's been married 45 yeras or more, i have !
a matter of give and take 50/50 notice your only giving half of yourself in life and love . if a man or woman ask you to change for them its a controlling factor, they want
to know if you can easily be manipulated, regardless what they may say.
to have made it to being 57 , it took a hell of alot of inner change for me and spiritual awareness , based on when" i was a child i thought and acting like a child, now that i become (evolved ) into a man i put away my childish things.
this means men and women alike children do what !? manipulate to get thier way !
the biggest or most beautiful doesn't neccessarily makes you a man or woman, inner change not asked of anyone but your own self worth and love for you, if one can't love yourself how is it possible to love someone else ?
we all have our personal precepts and concepts of why we believe someone needs to change question here is for them or for your own selfish satisfaction and ego ?
if a woman loves me , its was something about me appealing which attracted her to me
so why change? if one makes through life's divrse and various paths to take trust we done a hell of alot of changing either aware of or unaware.
indiviuality is a gift, conformity is a poison of manipualtion by a decietful person need for ultimate control. feel me on this ?
peace !
isaiah    | |
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 10:58:29 AM | I believe that change is a natural progression for us as humans. Changing to catch a mate, is not necessary. I think changing to make yourself a happier person who is content with their life, is indeed one of our primary goals as humans. Not only that but our planet has even refined our ability to do so. Of course you would only seek out changes that you would enjoy taking part of. For instance if you do not like watching football, know that you would never like watching football, It would be lame for you to persue the watching of football just because you knew a great percentage of guys digg football. In the end you would not be changing to the person you want to be, but in fact changing to just get some male attention. Your goal in this progression is to become the person that you were meant to be. In turn your lifelong mate will be the person you were meant to be with. Of course the previous sentence is not always neccessarily true in some cases. I should say most cases. Because there are a lot of lost souls out there who are doing just what I am talking about. They never find their true selves, this causing a void in their life. They will attempt to fill that void with something that will only scratch the itch for a while. Some times scratching that itch may include finding a person to try and fill that void with. Not really know that what they should be searching for, is the full fruition of knowing themselves. If they do not know themselves, than they do not know what they are looking for in a partner. What I am saying is that over time those things that attracted your mate will fall away, if they were only incouraged to catch that mate. Not only will your mate be losing out, but you will as well. As soon as you become the person you really are, he or she may not be as interested as they were in the beginning. This was because you changed and likened to things that you were not interested in, in the first place. Once you get comfortable those shell things that may have encouraged the mate to approach will no longer be of interest to you. You will start being the real you, the love will eventually fade, and pass away. You do not want to catch a mate if you are not who you should be, and visa versa.  | |
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Cazimi
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Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 38 | |
| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:05:22 AM | I truly believe changes are good, we don't change who we are , we can't really change our basic personality,
it's what makes us unique, but there's always room for growth.
If you are happy with everthing in your life , good for you !
you are one of the lucky ones.
I have always been a creature of habit, but fate also has a a habit of shaking up my world, I hate it because
I have to start all over and do things differently .
I question what I am supposed to learn from doing things differently, accept the changes as a challenge
and learning process for growth in mind and soul.
I learned to be humble , a better person ,smile more, treat others with
sensitivity and consideration.
I am still the same outwardly,will never be a doormat, I will not change because someone wants or expects me to, but
because I want to.
I am more open to diversity, feels like my arms are wide open
to embrace the universe,
gives me a warm feeling inside.
Makes me excited at the thought of all the things I am yet to learn , to grow from all the people I am to meet .
I will never truly change who I am but I can learn to do things differently , open to learning new ways.
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:27:03 AM | | my oppinion is that its very good to be outward in your self in other words if you are failing to attract the opposit sex it could well mean your not as sexualy attractive or desirable as some other women are and if that is the case then it is a good idea to look at other people and see what they do or wear that is so appealing to others it could be there dress sence there openess there figure there hair style many factors can contribute to someone liking you and it differs in all of us. as one example one man may fancy a big women where another man doesnt so its all down to the person your talking to sometimes or if its a case where you go clubbing maybe its just you dont give off the impression your interested in wanting someone. if you like someone give them a quick stare a smile maybe then see what happends | |
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/4/2008 1:29:37 PM | it's about improving how one presents themselves to the world
I agree! Unless they are bad values...eg. if you're a neo-nazi, I don't think people should change their values to be more popular. If you eat too much, or smoke too much, or drink too much, those are habits not values and therefore changeable. I really believe the effort we put into ourselves shows a level of self-care and self-respect that makes people more attracted to you. Something like weight is a health issue, but also connected to presentation. Developing your own potential speaks to self improvement and being the best you can be. To me, that's a good thing...and always worth the effort!
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| Should we try to change in order to make ourselves more desirable?
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:52:10 AM | | I do attempt to try and make myself more desirable, for some unknown factor I seem to find my friends more attractive than myself and I do go through some depressive moments. But I haul myself back and am back to normal after a while. I would love to change my fashion sense but unfortunately I don't have any!!!! I'm also quite an open and honest person and tell people straight what I think about things and will say the first thing that pops into my head, which isn't always a good thing!!! lol So yes in some ways I would like to change.... | |
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