|
|
|
|
|
| Why lead people on?
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:48:49 AM | I'm guilty of doing this to people.
I think sometimes, it' s because you genuinely ARE interested in someone, but throughout the early phases of a relationship, you discover that you actually don't really like them. Yet you feel like your standards are too high, or maybe you're just not LOOKING hard enough at the person's many good qualities, or maybe you're just afraid of being alone.
Some people do use sites like this as diversions from daily life. I admit, in college, me and my friends made profiles on some dating site just to see which of us would get the most results.
Or maybe you lead someone on to feed your ego.
Or maybe it's because you don't know how to tell them (or anyone) the brutal truth; that you just don't like them THAT WAY. It's a really hard thing to do; I'd have a hard time telling someone that ever, especially if I was trying to spare their feelings. | |
|
| Why lead people on?
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:34:04 PM | My thoughts on this are that those who wind up going back with an ex joined before they were ready to move on in the first place.
Maybe they were angry that their ex cheated, moved on to someone else too quickly (in their eyes) or just plain old dumped them period. They're the "I'll show them" joiners.
Then there's the ones whose friends convince them that it's not doing them any good lying around the house moping or drinking themselves silly etc. Their friends encourage them to get out and meet someone.
So they take a small step that doesn't actually involve meeting people in person (although some do that too with the same results).
I doubt most actually sit down and draw up a plan on how they are going to lead someone on. They just realize they don't really want to be here and never did...nobody can take the place of their ex etc.
And the flip side of love on the rebound - where someone falls too fast first time out - is some weird type of unconcious (I'm convinced) agenda where they are going for payback with the first member of the opposite sex who crosses their path.
Strangely enough this 'beast' that's been unleashed is a great turn on for the ex who then wants them back. Seems that way to me anyway. | |
|
| Why lead people on?
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:17:00 PM | I think there are many people who jump into new realtionships too quickly. I know this is going off the thread a little, but a lot of people are scared of being alone and HAVE to be with someone. I have known a lot of people over the years who go from one relationship, straight into another, taking all their emotional baggage with them.
Personally, I think it is much better to have a few months off and take stock of what went wrong in the last relationship, what you want, what you don't want and most importantly, what sort of person YOU are now after all of these events.
After you have done all this, you should be ready to move on and get the relationship you deserve. | |
|
|
|
Home
login