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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:47:11 PM | | If you both agree you are soul mates,why is she having strangers decide if you two should make a go of it?My first husband was five years older.my second husband was five years younger.I divorced both of them | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 12:26:27 AM | | 5 years is nothing...if you get on that great...you can't give that up. I've been serious about a guy that was 9 years younger and 9 years older...if they're the one...then they're the one. | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 12:57:41 AM | After reading the other responses to the OP, I must say that it sounds like your appearance is a concern of hers. Which it shouldn't be. I am told that I do not look my age. (good family gene pool)
I have dated guys much older and much younger than myself. The problem was never the age gap, but the maturity, or lack there of, level.
Since you are both adults and hopefully on the same level of maturity... go for it !!!
Message to the woman the OP is regarding.... enjoy the time you two have together. If you are "soulmates" why even consider throwing that away because you have lived 5 years longer than him???
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:23:41 AM | | i agree with several of the responses here that you guys should be making your own choices rather than using a gorum (mispelled on purpose) to make life decisions for you. however, i've known a lot of people that have done worse things with their lives. in all honesty; i cannot think that you looking a bit younger is a problem that won't soon change with age, as will her looks also. thats why we fall in love... so we won't give up on each other as soon as a few wrinkles appear. you are both in your thirties and hopefully have matured to the point of becoming somewhat set in your ways, and having established standards in your lives. if thats true and you like each other's outlooks and lifestyles, go for it. as other have mentioned, seems women outlive men for the most part so you should be able to share lives till the end for you both. it will also be to her advantage to have her man still working when she first retires and it will be good for you as she will be used to retirement when you get there, making the transition easier for you both. as you both age, the 5 year gap will still be 5 years, but the percentiles decrease every birthday so that when you are 65 and she 70, no one will even notice a difference. best wishes and much happiness to you both. | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:54:57 AM | | First of all, I agree with nice girl....you two shouldn't be letting a bunch of strangers determine your happiness!!....now having said that, get over the age hangup...Nom, even though you say you don't have a hangup, the fact you posted this says otherwise....as you both get older, the difference will actually be smaller and smaller. First of all if you consider lifespan, men actually have shorter lifespans, so women, you would be wise to choose a younger man, for they may actually be around as long as you! Physiology wise, men actually age quicker than women (it is actually believed that estrogen/progesterone hormones are like a fountain of youth for a woman, and protects her from aging at the same rate as a man)....okay, enough with the scientific facts, if you both share things in common, have fun and enjoy being around each other, age is not a factor to even consider....I have 2 girlfriends who are both married to men 11 years their junior.... | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:00:58 AM |
she has agreed to leave it to the forum to decide weather the age gap is a problem !!!
OP...I think she was been sarcastic when she told you this..
By the sounds of it...she has made up her mind...plus she was testing you.
The age gap doesn't bother her......but that she finds you too immature for her.
I think she was expecting you to figure it out for yourself....
However, you went and posted it on a public forum.....which i think she and possibly a few other women will find immature in itself..
I think she is trying to say goodbye to you.....just my 2 cents | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:36:36 AM | 5-6 years should be no problem as long as you are in about the same stage. Now, if there are issues like she's got kids and doesn't want any more and you don't have any but might like them... then the age difference might be a factor. I wish people would stop using age as a reason and start using lifestage, lifestyle, or more relevant factors like that.
I don't get the people who think the man should be older or the woman younger. It's crazy and not based on a single thing that makes a relationship work. | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/9/2008 11:22:00 AM | | Maturity level is far more important than chronological age when it comes to relationship compatibility. As you both agreed to use forum feedback to guide your decision it demonstrates that you are both immature for you age and most likely compatible. Even if there was a 15 year age difference the maturity level is more important. 5 years in the 30s is not exactly cradle robbing. | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/9/2008 1:00:56 PM | Age gaps should be computed, I think, as Age1 / Age2, not as a numerical difference.
25/35 ~ 30%
45/65 ~ 30%
Meaning, it's not as big a deal as you get older. As the previous poster said, maturity is an issue, but you folks are getting to the point that that shouldn't be much of a factor.
True enough, though, your spelling _is_ atrocious.  | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:22:50 PM | In my opinion, age is only a number. It seems to me that there are some distinctive stages in a person's life that you should probably try to match up on. But someone could be experiencing similar "stages" at drastically different ages. As an example, someone who has been through a divorce _may_ want to avoid someone younger who has never had a serious relationship. They are at different points in their lives.
The other thing that makes me think you should "do this thing" is that age matters less and less as time goes on. If you think about it, a Senior in High School dating an 8th grader would justifiably seem wrong to most people. But five years difference in your 30's is NOTHING.
One final point... if she is the "womens' lib" type, then you can point out that her unwillingness to date a younger man is really rather sexist. The whole concept of "equal rights" does not just apply to the workplace. :P
Best of luck, friend. | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:43:13 PM | ~OP~ My ex is 35, I'm 44. I don't believe we discussed age and to this day, when I have mentioned it, his answer "You'll have to get over that." Until recently we didn't talk much, but we do now and it's really more of a concern of mine than his. We married when he was 29. The age difference wasn't noticed by anyone, nor was it a focus in our relationship. It's all personal preference. I prefer younger and he prefers older ~ it fit, I guess. Date who you enjoy ~ no one would know that but you.  | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/10/2008 5:06:19 PM | holy batman!.. settle down w/the exclamation marks plz!..
give her time 2 'adjust' 2 dating a younger man.. as u stated.. she has dated older gents & now she`s w/someone 5 yrs younger then her.. and as 4 the 'fair try'.. i believe she already gave u 1.. | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:00:40 AM | Five years is nothing unless you are 17 and she's 12. If you connect, you connect.
My deceased husband was 14 years old than I was, and I didn't see any "generational gap". From the first day we practically finished each others sentences. It was a magical 16 years, and if anything, I was the "adult" in the relationship.
You don't get many bites at the "soulmate" apple. I certainly wouldn't pass it by.
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 1/11/2008 11:40:18 PM | if she is letting a forum decide... on ur future.. perhaps she just isn't that into u.. and that is the real problem.. not the age..
all i can say to her is 'are u in.. or are u out' life is too short to dither about and when ur on ur death bed.. are u going to be thinking.. how could i of let 5 years make a difference.. or glad i passed that one over coz he was too young.. put it in perspective woman! | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:39:03 PM | | five years is nothing, but if she has constantly looked for older men before, there must be a reason. Personally, I would not feel comfortable in being with somebody younger or even my age. But if she does, why not going forward? | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:00:11 AM | **she has agreed to leave it to the forum to decide weather the age gap is a problem !!!**
I'd be more worried that she's willing to put decisions about a possible relationship in the hands of total strangers. | |
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| 5 year age gap !!!! loads of feedback please !!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:15:22 PM |
she has agreed to leave it to the forum to decide weather the age gap is a problem !!!
Yes, I'm sure .... women do that all the time. :-)
Seriously, passing thru age 40 represents some significant changes in a person in many ways both physical and more importantly mental (a coming to acceptance with oneself, a settling of force if you will)
Her concern is probably not whether she in interested, she is probably more aware of the changes you are about to go thru.
I don't think the age difference of 5 years in that significant, but timing chronologically is important to consider. If you were 38 and she 44 it would be better, to start.
People mature differently at different ages in various ways, who knows.
Assuming, this question is NOT a little bit of a prank the fact that you fell for,
"she has agreed to leave it to the forum to decide weather the age gap is a problem "
is NOT a good sign. But your Freudian slip probably tells the correct story .. women sometimes change their mind like the "weather" :-) Read what she has agreed to again. ARE you sure she didn't mean ...
She has agreed to leave it to the forum to decide weather.
The age gap is a problem.
They're tricky, these older ones.:-)
If she is a YOUNG 38 and your an "OLD" 32, it can work, I guess. | |
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