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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:52:05 PM | ~ OP ~ - As you said this is the forums and when somebody asks question that is so obvious, I usually make it a practice to do just a little bit of homework before I though my 2 cents into the wind. When somebody asks a stupid question and then answers it themselves, I tend to do a little more homework before I conclude they are really as stupid as a post might make them appear.
In your case, I done the homework and then gave your post the benefit of the doubt. Now after you have responded to so many other posts in such a sharp manner I am pretty sure we all have the picture and little or no doubt.
What is there that needs ask? I think from the sounds of it you and he might be a great match. I would suggest that you contact him and see where it goes. As it seems you are lonely and demand so much attention, a S/O who is as needy and clingy as you indicate might be just your type. You never know he might be the love of your life.
Have a nice evening and a great new year. | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:20:28 PM |
He actually posted my picture as his background on his computer, calls me constantly, etc. I do not move that fast.
Don't forget about the ones he's printed off for his wallet, mantle, sent to friends and family, the bedroom, the office, etc. 
As well, if you do not move that fast, how the hell did he get your number so soon?
I need advice on what to do and not come across as being a major bish, because I am very nice. but really I am frightened!!
Just because you are generally a nice person, doesn't necessarily mean you can't unleash the inner-b-i-t-c-h, that obviously so yearns to be set free in this situation. Try being that other person for once in your life, and have the strength to speak your mind, rather than hide behind it.
Tell him you think he's nuts, and that he needs to calm down a notch or two. Tell him that you haven't even met each other yet, and he's trumpeting fanfare and chorale, as though a great prophecy is about to be fulfilled. Tell him that he’s ruined his chance to be with you because he’s too infatuated too soon.
Even if what I am telling you to tell him isn’t what you are thinking, if you fail to disclose the truth to him as to why you no longer want to see him, it will not help him learn from this experience. If he is truly oblivious and can’t break it down in hindsight himself, all you will do is confuse him further, and leave him wondering “wtf happened…!?”.
Virtue cannot exist in the absence of choice. Accordingly, I think you should choose to tell him the honest truth instead of skirting around the issue. Earlier you said you didn’t want to come off as a b-i-t-c-h regarding what you should do, because you are “very nice”. If you were able to conclude that your initial thoughts on what to do for this situation made you out to be a b-i-t-c-h - that you are asking us what to do so you can avoid that actualization - then I think you are an even greater b-i-t-c-h for not wanting to be the lesser b-i-t-c-h. I define the greater as knowing you are a b-i-t-c-h, and wanting to cover up the fact through subterfuge, and dishonesty.
To paraphrase: When faced with two b-i-t-c-h-e-s, always choose the lesser of the two!
Cheers! | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:39:03 PM | LOl randon, Thank You
I gave him my number, after a few e-mails were exchanged between the two of us, as I stated previously, I prefer phone more so than e-mails, ims etc, I can communicate better that way. And it is only my cell not my home #.
I did in fact e-mail him shortly after my original post, and to which I am being lashed at now for. Actually in my original thread, I should have titled it, is this person needy? But instead, I worded it incorrectly and receiving replies stating I am an attention seeker, because I e-mailed the man with my response. I was hoping more men would have noticed that my question was to more as was this behavior normal? I was not sure and have not come across that type before. I guess if in fact if I was so clingy as the gentleman before you had said, I woud have recognized it, but guess not. ;-) No man that I have ever been with accused me of being clingy, guess because I am not.
My e-mail stated... I do not want to meet you, I think you are a nice person, but you moved a little to fast for my tastes, and I can not handle that at this time. Not in so many words, but.... it was not nasty nor mean.
I mean he seemed sincere and nice, but I do not want the clingy, needy type in my life. I for one am not that way, and I do not want someone which I have never even met yet, asking whom I talked with on the phone, where I was at etc etc, you know the routine.
But I unleashed the bish as politley as I could, if he continues to call after reading the e-mail, the major bish will come out, LOL
thank You and happy New year! | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:36:56 PM | No problem. :)
Actually in my original thread, I should have titled it, is this person needy? But instead, I worded it incorrectly and receiving replies stating I am an attention seeker, because I e-mailed the man with my response.
If people are saying you are seeking attention, then so are the thousands of other people that post in these forums on a regular basis, and everyone that has created a profile on this site. We are all seeking attention from nearly anyone that fits our criteria, and even those that do not. This is just a big ego-trip lol.
I was hoping more men would have noticed that my question was to more as was this behavior normal?
There is no way to define "normal", as I'm sure in your life you've seen all manner of things as we all have. I would have to guess and say that a small percentage of people - both male and female - may not have had a lot of experience in the dating world. Due to this lack of experience, regardless of the circumstances surrounding why, when people feel that "first drop" after a very long while of doing the rain dance, it probably excites the hell out of them. They carpe diem literally, not wanting to lose this precious drop, and seriously over do things.
That's one theory, and it could be quite the contrary as well. Some people by their very nature could be just that ... socially inept? Que Sera Sera.
As for you being clingy, I don’t know where that came about!?
I mean he seemed sincere and nice, but I do not want the clingy, needy type in my life. I for one am not that way, and I do not want someone which I have never even met yet, asking whom I talked with on the phone, where I was at etc etc, you know the routine.
Yeah I know what you mean lol.
But I unleashed the bish as politley as I could, if he continues to call after reading the e-mail, the major bish will come out, LOL
Sometimes, there is just no other alternative.
Cheers & Happy New Year to you as well!
P.S. Could you email me an updated photo, the one I have of you that I’m trying to use as my desktop wallpaper is blury cause it's too small. Thanks!!
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:42:22 PM | Too funny random and thank you so very much, LOl
That picture is on it's way and make sure to keep one in your wallet for me ok?
Kudos! | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:56:02 PM | It sounds like your instincts already know the answer to your question: he makes you feel extremely uncomfortable, with potential for stalker type behavior. Do not worry too much about hurting his feelings because it is quite likely that no matter how nice you try to be he is going to have a negative reaction to anything you say that is not what he wants to hear. Tell him in no uncertain terms you are not interested, you do not want any further contact, his attention is unwelcome attention. Hopefully, that will be the end of it, and hopefully you have not given out any personal information (e.g. home phone, address, etc.) about yourself to this person.
Good luck. | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:24:44 AM | | red flags everywhere, I'm sorry but a normal person does not get that attatched and obsessed that quick. Also someone that doesn't hear the word no in any context is bad news. People who get that attached and can't let go have a very different mindset. Even when you talk to them to tell them no or you can't meet or whatever they don't hear what you are saying. They have some contact so in their minds you are still communicating and they still believe they can change your mind. RED flags of a possible problem and if you are feeling creeped out and frightened listen to those feelings. | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:26:35 PM | I received a response from his e-mail which in fact I told him do not contact me whatsoever..
He stated this... I am sorry you feel this way, I believe you were the one and we lost something very special.... I won;'t bother you again but if you do not call me within 2 weeks, I belive it is time for me to move on.. So this guyis going to pine away for me for 2 weeks???????????????????????? Holy Chit!
OMFG
What a whackjob!!!!
No, I did not reply, and hope and pray he does not call!!!
In a way I do feel bad for him, but really I never knew anyone could actaully be like that, thank goodness when he begged to know where I worked I did not tell him... Which case, I tell noone ever where I work until I know them very very very well!! As in dating them, not before I meet them, or even after I meet them!! whewwwwww | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:25:51 PM | | The only response to someone like this is no response whatsoever. Don't even text or e-mail in any way. Hopefully his focus and obsession will find another target. Glad to see you didn't tell the stalker anything, probably dodged a real danger on that one | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:33:22 PM | OMG OMG he just called, I did answer the phone the major bish had to come out!!
He said I got your e-mail whats wrong why cant we work this out?
I said @#%#2%$#@ do not call me now I was nice and now I am not
Time to call t-mobile tomorrow!!
As i stated, I do not mind giving my number to someone whom I have exchanged some e-mails with etc, I am out to meet somone not be their chit chat pal.
But, nevertheless, one of the posters stated, this man will not take NO for an answer!! all i was thinking about was that movie... FATAL ATTRACTION, Thank goodness all he knows about me is my number.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:01:56 PM | | Sounds like the guy is inexperienced in the dating world or simply really desperate. Or a combination of both. I can tell by your post that you are not "into" him. Just save the guy the heartbreak and block his number and block him online and he will forget about you soon enough. | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:16:09 PM | Thank You Blueguy, and not only once did he call tonight, but twice, I did not answer the second time. Definately getting the number changed, I can forsee this is not going to stop.
He is blocked online, I am in just awe of this, desperate iIthink is the correct word, not sure but I still feel truely sorry for someone like that!!
baffling!! | |
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| Need Advice on someone Needy???/
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:24:48 PM | | He probably never got the chance to experience love, so to him he's "fresh" into the scene and doesn't know how to manage his emotions properly. That's probably why he's so needy and clingy. I have seen guys act like this before and usually it is a sign of being very desperate, I doubt he's someone you should be afraid of though. If anything it sounds like he'd take a bullet for you if the situation were to arise. | |
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