| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 3:58:32 PM | Elle Babae, you have some heavy, heavy stuff to deal with and you are only 20 years old. You can have the life and happiness that you want, but YOU have to learn how to create your own reality for yourself. Kowing that no one is going to hand it to you on a silver platter, is the trick. You have to take ownership of your mind, body and spirit because they belong to you and no one else.
Please get some counselling to deal with your emotions about the guy who exploited your vulnerability and used you for his own means. Honestly, these forums are not always the safest place to deal with the intense stuff you need to address. You have a right to express your anger, but do it safely. Here, you are just subjecting yourself to the very real possiblity of attracting more predators.
Good luck to you: your life and dreams are worth the effort.
GoodDay--I rarely express my disgust towards people in these forums,but I will now. The OP is still a young girl. You, are supposed to be a mature woman in your 50s. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 3:58:58 PM | faking that he is a good guy, a good husband, a good father.
=================
Good father?????????
What the hell are you talking about?
Ele doesn't have any children. Read her profile
There's a real hipocrisy here. These fifteen year olds find themselves loved and left by the local romeo and they are "children" but girls as young as thirteen are still keeping thier babies and are not required to give them up for fostering or adoption. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:02:45 PM |
And....it takes a compassionate individual to recognize the anger is from great pain.
Yeah, one thing we have learned from POF is that most people are NOT really that compassionate and yet the majority of people seek a compassionate mate. While this thread might be a call for pity, who are we to really know what it really means? It could just be part of a cathartic process or a cry for help and advice.
We have all been hurt and the that hurt turns to anger and then we can usually begin the healing process. Some people can never get over scars inherited in childhood - it affects how you learn to trust people and the relationships you have. Love does indeed heal, but it takes time and patience.
Most of us do not even realize how our surroundings, upbringing, parents etc., have affected us.
Hoping the new year is good to everyone! | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:11:45 PM | Elle,
I am so sorry this happened to you hun.
I think it was probably a good idea for you to write this to him, to purge it somehow.
You should channel some of this energy into writing. You have a gift.
Use this to your advantage.
From one writer to another.
TC
Deb | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:12:46 PM |
How would you feel if that was your daughter?
My daughter has enough morals to ensure that something like this would never happen to her.
An adult seduced a child/teen. Morals do not come into it. Few children, especially needy children have the "tools" or "know how" to make this stop from happening.
Your child might be different and I sure hope mine are, but not all have been given the foundation to KNOW what is going on and get help to make it stop. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:25:27 PM | I know a pain like yours good lady Like a dagger in the back. But when you pull it out and start to heal you find out the dagger was poisioned. I lost my first true love to addiction and dishonesty. I was 19. I am 31 one now. It took me 4 years before I could even think about the idea of dating again. And untill a few months ago I have been "Chaseing Amy" as it were. The whole time with this wall up to protect myself. But time and the love of family and TRUE friends helped bleed the poision out. Everyone time to heal is different. For 4 years I didnt do anything that would put me in the sisutation to possibly meet someone speical. Then the wounds finally started to close. The healing begun. But it took many more years for the healing to finally be complete. If there is any advice I can give you it is this: All wounds heal with the right amount of time. And: Hope is the only thing we as humans truely have. No matter what you do dont lose hope in yourself or in Humnity. Yes 50%+ of humans are self centered, rude, jearks. But not all of them. I promise you. Not all of us men are out to get you. Not all of us are out to rip your heat out and crush it with you looking on in shock. I promise you that in this world of billions of people there is more then a few men that will treat your heart and you with kinder and softer hands then a jeweler with a billion dollar diamond.
I dont know what is sadder. The fact that this happened. Or the fact that this happens alot. To alot of good people. Your not alone in your pain. Many of us have felt it or somthing close to it. Dont let it kill you. Dont let it kill who YOU are. You have to be stronger then the pain. And once you find the strength to over come the pain a very lovely and amazing world opens up to you.
Remember: What doesnt kill you makes you stronger. This is a simple fact of life. You will get over this and you will be a wiser and stronger woman for this. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:28:34 PM | Elle,
I am very sorry this predator hurt you. I am also sorry there was no adult knowledgeable or willing to stop this. What happened to you was not right.
That child predator will have his day.
And now what is most important is YOU.
You have the ability to shape yourself into WHO you want to become. Do not give that power away! You have the power to be the person you want to be. It is ok to feel and desire ...it is our essence as human beings to be close to someone who matters.
But grab ahold of the wheel of the car your driving and take charge Elle! YOU can direct your life. You can choose HOW you will react to what has happened. Use this experience to make yourself stronger and more compassionate to not only yourself but to those who cross your path. Anger is a normal process from events such as this...but now turn that anger to strength.
Make a list of goals, outcomes you want to see by years end...in yourself, in your life. You can do this...your intensity tells me so.
 | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:06:58 PM | | Sweetie there are soooooooooooo many mean people in the world. You need to let go. You will love again. And this time it will be real. There are many decent men ou there who will treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. BUT... You have to give them a chance. I hope that you have a great year. I hope that things change for you. Be happy for you,cuz no one else will. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:23:48 PM | Well said prettypicky, my sentiments exactly. Elle, I lost you on IM,
give me a buzz again and yell, scream cry whatever, just get it out.
There are enough posters here that are ready and willing to help
in whatever small way we can. Turn a deaf ear to the naysayers.
The world is your oyster Elle, you just haven't found it yet, but you
will. Many horrendous things have befallen you and professional
help is the way to go.
Elle, there are more good people in the world than bad, just let
the good ones in so they can squeeze out the bad.
Sol (Fern) | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:37:44 PM | My heart goes out to you. No child, and 15, is still a child, should ever be abused by an adult in their lives. Please get counseling. talk to someone. It was NOT your fault. This was a case of an 'adult' (really a predator) taking advantage of a child.
It was interesting to read about 'morals' from some of the high and mighty out there. May God protect your children, because I don't believe you will. Your attitude towards this young lady leads me to believe that you will never understand a threat to your child. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:00:11 PM | forgive yourself for being gullible and move on - you're not the first teenager to be fooled and you won't be the last - such is our society. (And the reason why teenagers require supervision!!) Where were the adults in your life while you were living with this toad for so long?
...less sexually provocative profile pictures might attract a different type of person... | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:12:41 PM | Op...Because of your age, I will not say anything because you still have some growing up to do as do I and others that are under 40 etc, so I won't say anything against you. But all I will say is that if you would have been over 40, and talking like this, I would call and ask them to put you in a strape jacket and get you checked into the psychiatric ward.
So you are off the hook. lol
So for what I read, I am sorry to hear that you went through this, assuming what you are saying is true. People of all ages should be treated with love and care. You will get better, just allow yourself to get better and it will surely happen. | |
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 41 | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:27:27 PM | I am rescinding what I posted. Thats right. I had typed a very long post regarding hwo sorry I felt for this nutcase, thinking that it was a sincere post. Shame on you OP. While I most certainly would and do sympathize for anyone who has HONESTLY endured what the OP feigned, this OP has posted another follow up stating that This particular thread is indeed fictitious.
Shame on you OP!! How dare you. You have minimized what IS a serious issue for some. I'm with the others who will not respond to any more of your threads.
Remember the story of "the boy who cried wolf" - I hope you don't have to learn That lesson the hard way.
A.S.is
msg # 46 below shows Another very good reason why this OP should be ashamed of herself! OP - You are the kind that give us Good Women a Bad frikkin name. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:39:18 PM | I've known "girls" who, at fifteen, were the masters of their own sexual destinies. By your admission you were not one of them.
Did you like your time with him? Did you like sex with him? was the end of that relationship really so much worse than the end of any other relationship? If so, was it strictly because of your age or because you gave yourself to him so completely? Being hurt by a lover isn't necessarily age-specific. He might very well have broken your heart if you were older than him.
Our first loves are usually our worst heartbreaks. Mine was a girl named Jill and I was 18. There's nothing like loving someone so completely only to have them destroy any happiness within you. When she dumped me she bragged about blowing some other guy the night before. I got over it. I got better. Letting go of past hurts and moving on with the lessons is a big part of maturity.
Surely after five years you've got something to offer the world other than anguish and frustration. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:39:50 PM | I just want you to know my dear you are not alone, there are many women out there like me and you who have lived this life and lie.
May this year be the best Year of your life, May God himself come too you and kiss you on the cheek as he did me. May your heart be filled with grace and may your eyes learn to cry for joy, may everything inside of your soul be filled of roses and daffodils, But if i could offer one thing to you it would be one that no one can ever give us..
The love of acceptance and knowing your not alone. Many women all over the world have been in your shoes even me. I am 45yrs old now and i have been though hell and back 3 times. But i have perseverance and that my dear keeps me going and knowing that some day I am going to be loved so much that my heart will explode inside of laughter.
Just a teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down... and just a kiss on the cheek from God himself helps a womens heart heal.
I love you if no one dose for i am the Mother of all Children, Pastor Julie
your in my prayers.. Happy New Year.... Wish hard and then make it happen. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 6:40:26 PM | http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts9018924.aspx
Firstly this thread is a troll thread. The Op has admitted it in this thread. Apparently she's "testing" our reaction.
Maybe some people might now understand the dangers of falling head over heels for every woman who cries that something terrible has happened to her. I take it all with a grain of salt, as I do believe that many stories such as these are false. Attention getting ploys. It steals credibility for the ones that are legitimate.
An adult seduced a child/teen. Morals do not come into it. Few children, especially needy children have the "tools" or "know how" to make this stop from happening.
Absolute rubbish lady. For one thing, the girl was 15, and 15 year old girls (unless mentally challenged) do know right from wrong and do have the power to make things like this not happen. A simple "no". To be seduced, you have to be willing to be seduced.
Morals do come into it. If my daughter were carrying on a relationship with an older man, she'd have to be LYING to me about it. She would have to be lying about whos she's with, where she is, how she's spending her time and a whole bunch of other lies on a daily basis. All of my children know that lying is not a morally permissable, as is sexually promiscuous behaviour.
I sure hope my children never have to turn to someone with your moral code for advice when they are in need and I'm no longer around. | |
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Jax_xx
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Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 46 | |
| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:28:12 PM | I have to agree with Prettypicky..........wow!! You people are so cold and uncaring.........why not allow her to express her anger..............underneath it all is he pain.........she was a victim but doesnt have to remain that way...........OP??? Get into therapy.........you need help........this is way to big for you to do alone..........you have been damaged.........like we all have........in some way or another.......but as adults........we have to take responsibility for our lives........you need to take your power back and become the beautiful woman that you are..............also, if you have been wounded that deeply........the very last place you need to be is on this dating site............there are too many warped people on here, game players, liars, and users............yes, there are some good people............but they are few and far between ........so do yourself a favor, leave this site and seek therapy..................as for the people that put this girl down SHAME ON YOU!!! No compassion, very very SAD | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:28:29 PM |
Absolute rubbish lady.
Morals do come into it. If my daughter were carrying on a relationship with an older man, she'd have to be LYING to me about it. She would have to be lying about whos she's with, where she is, how she's spending her time and a whole bunch of other lies on a daily basis. All of my children know that lying is not a morally permissable, as is sexually promiscuous behaviour.
I sure hope my children never have to turn to someone with your moral code for advice when they are in need and I'm no longer around.
SOoooooooooooO Missing The POINT!
Having a Protective Father (or, Any Parent/Adult) , That Cares For/About Them ...
TO Lie TO ? NoThing to Do With ' Morals ' , And? Not what EveryOne Has.
(i swear , Some folks are jist So Not Capable of ~Seeing~ OutSide of Their Own lil world)
" I sure Hope..."
ahhh, and I Sure Hope , That ? ... EveryOne's Children Grow Up to Be Kind , Caring , Sensible Adults , That Realize there are Many Different Realities , Not EveryOne is afforded the Same Privileges , Protection , And conduct themselves Accordingly , with some Class.
(regardLess of whether ' Others ' are 'from/In THEIR class' - or Not)
Now, I really need to go 'check out' what the whole ' Troll ' References are about.
IF ? I Have 'misplaced' My ~Sympathies~ ?
it WILL become Abundantly Evident , That ... a ' 5ft2in *Stomp* ? Can produce Every Bit as Much IMPACT - as a '6ft8in/9in/Whatever' One
Hmmmm? | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:36:45 PM | The question was ASKED
"How would you feel if it was your daughter?"
~operative word in zee question (the one which was aked of me) -YOUR -
My daughter has a protective father (parent/adult) as do ~All~ of my kiddies
who has taught her morals
~unless you think it is not ~immoral~ to tell lies. Sheesh.
(i swear, I did not have to ~venture~ out of my own lil world, to provide my answer)
since zee question in question was
~HoW wOuLd YoU fEeL iF iT wErE ~your~ daughter.
~my daugher would know/act/behave ~better~ than that.
/retard keyboard off. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:11:49 PM | did SomeBody just use the word ' retard ' , in a derogatory manner?
Niiiice , Very Mature.
'ALL' kiddies ? How Many kids we talkin ? 
No need to swear , tis already believed that ' venturing ' does Not happen - often.
Immoral ? To tell Lies ? Still missing point. No Lies to be Told , If No One to tell them To.
*lil 'keyboard lesson'* The capitol N , in word NO ? emphasizes NO -as in , Absent of.
The capitol O , in word One ? emphasizes One - as in , ... ah, NM
As i'm sure , Any/Every One - paying attention?
2 threads now - same ' subject ' (or, subjectS )   | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:28:02 PM | Darling, your life is NOT over. You are 20 years old. You have just experienced your very first betrayal from your first love. It's something that happens to us all at some point and although it feels like you will never get over it and feel that kind of love or connection again...you will!... it just takes time. So just be kind to yourself and move on. Don't dwell on the if's and why's of it all, that will just wreck with your head. This man was wrong, but there is someone so right for you out there...and the fabulous thing is, now you are free to go out there and find him...but not with all this anger inside you....you must stop the biterness, move on and forgive...don't live your life in hate, life's too short...just count your blessings and move on!!! Take care.
Claire  | |
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