| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:19:45 AM | OP: Sorry to read what you endured. Please seek professional therapy. Your anger exudes right through my monitor!
All the best,
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:23:26 AM | | I was raped by a neighbor when I was 5, and when I finally told my parents...they didn't care. I think it's time to get over it. Shit happens, you deal with it and move on. I could have let it destroy me but it made me a stronger person. Some adults are just ****ed. I honestly think it's time to move on. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:24:24 AM | You really should seek professional help for the pain and anger you are feeling. Also why would a man do something that low was because he could trick you and he did. Dont let this sick bast-ard destroy you, you deserve better than this.
I do wonder if there was anyone to warn you of the dangers of an older man looking for a young girl(teenager), and would you have heeded the advise. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:27:20 AM | Elle...let me put this into perspective for you dear....at 15 years old <<<< you were a child. Him?....he is what is termed a predator. Any questions?
Your anger is completely understood by anyone who understands the process of molestation. Given the correct tactics, a predator can talk any child into doing and performing what he craves. The entire time the victim is completely oblivious to his motives and goals or the devastating emotional damage which will have an impact on her throughout her entire life.
People take responsibility at different levels as they age. It is not the responsibility of a 15 year old girl to understand the psychological tactics of a child molester. And if anyone tells you that it is....they are completely ignorant regarding the dynamics of a predator. Children of all backgrounds are potential victims so don't hit yourself so hard.
A predator will seek out relationships with single needy women who have children and predators have no gender preference. A predator will also seek out seriously dysfunctional families and zero in on one of the children who are needy. <<<< hope you are noting the trend here....predators make themselves available. In your case, he used the 'rescue' tactic....very common.
The healing process begins when you can honestly say to yourself..."This is not my fault". Go ahead and be angry...you need to be and have every right to be!!! Someone who tells you that you are too angry....to hell with them....they are ignorant and have no right to tell you how to feel. So be angry then let those survival instincts kick in and take control of you life.
Healing molestation is not an overnight fix...takes allot of work and a strong person who can endure the process. So go see a counselor and get started. Wish you the best of luck and big hugs to you. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:42:52 AM | I want to speak to the "MINIMIZING" that is going on here...when a child IS victimized....at 15...it is serious. True...she needs talk therapy and some mental health help....especially after being what is called MOLESTED.
To tell her to get over it, and stop the self pity? That is really the worst thing you can do for a SURVIVOR.
I am a Certified Advocate for Survivors in MN and had many hours of training in this area...56 to be exact. Its a serious thing and not to be dismissed as "if you heard about my childhood...and stop wallowing.................."
We all need to be listened to at times, but especially children who were "done" this way, because of inadequate parenting perhaps, some traumatic situation, secrets they were told to keep.
Lets just listen to others here...but as others said too. Its important NOW to get ongoing therapy, and to post the Fxxx word...isn't mature. We know you are very very angry and have a right to be...but it will help you most if you see a professional where you can talk privately. Seeing others cruel responses at times here will not help you but only damage further. You are important...treat yourself with respect and get the counseling you need...you will then be able to leave some memories behind and deal with your future.
YOU DO HAVE ONE!!! MAKE THE MOST OF IT....NEVER GIVE UP! Good luck!  | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:56:01 AM | Elle, I am going to give you the benefit of 20+ years of experience. The answer to your question does not matter. Whether the man was weak, a pig, or for some other reason took advantage of a lonely young girl with self-esteem issues, what is in the past is just that, it is in the past.
You have the power now to move forward with your life in a positive manner or allow this man to continue to control you by fixating on your history and his role in it.
When people have been hurt by someone, they look for some reason for it. That is normal. I have been hurt by men and by friends over the years but knowing why they did something does not take the hurt away and getting over something is really not that difficult if you decide it is what you want to do.
You decide who you are, what you want to be, who you let into your life. Closing out everyone is not going to prevent your being hurt but it will result in your soul withering and dying. Decide to be happy. Paste a smile on your face until your heart catches up with your head. Seek counseling or check into support groups in your area for people that have gone through similar experiences.
HeartoGold, no one is dismissing her pain but we are attempting to empower her to stop facilitating continuing to hurt because of this experience. Your attitude will enable her to sit and remain in this emotional place for years to come, that is a much better solution for her. She needs to get over it because currently, the man is no longer hurting her, she is hurting herself and it is a choice. Do you want to just survive, or do you want to THRIVE, to really live?
OP you can continue to be a victim, but you don't seem to be enjoying it very much. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:13:44 AM | | It seems other people on here are continuing to be a victim of this woman. You poor poor people. She is a flake, she lied to pray on your sympathy, and you keep falling for it. She is a person that needs to be horse whipped. plan and simple. Read the pass post before you start screaming "poor baby" | |
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tweepz
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Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 84 | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:07:37 AM | | well first off get a grip, you are/were only 15. the only thing you should be worried about is whats playing at the movies or did you get your home work done. at 15 YOU dont even know what you want, let alone a man. you should close your leggs and open a book. | |
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 86 | |
| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:16:47 AM | The OP created a post saying she made that whole thing up for a school paper, yet people are STILL trying to give her answers.
Don't you people ever read a thread before you post? Or at least the last few posts in a thread? | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:56:59 AM | I'm not a victim to victimize. I blowing the whistle on someone trying to manipulate everyone's emotions for some needless "experiment". She is a loser.... plain and simple. Read pages 2 and pages three. You will understand the mind of a demintive manipulate little child playing around on a computer trying to get a simpathy card delt to her for her studies. Nah...
:modhammer: | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:09:04 PM | Hi sweetie Elle-
I just want you to know in your heart that it wasn't you darling. It was all him. He was an adult and you were a child. Why he did it? Who knows and frankly, who cares because he was the sick one, not you. You were and are innocent and it breaks my heart to hear you beat yourself up.
You are a beautiful girl and I know you can move on from this with help from a professional counselor/therapist but it will take emotional work on your behalf. It isn't fair because it isn't your fault but unfortunately, it is the work that you will have to do in order to have the life you want and deserve.
Good luck sweetheart. I am here for you if you ever want to talk.
Hugs-
Heather  | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:11:52 PM | | You aren't suffering a broken heart,you're suffering from a shattered spirit,anad abuse.He grew tired and moved on to the next victim.The man belongs in jail.You will recover,you will love and trust,plenty of time and understanding are needed.At least you recognize that the man is a pedophile,some never realize they were abused,not loved.Stay strong. | |
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tweepz
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Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 91 | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:08:39 PM | OP, please seek therapy or something for this.
The reality is that until you reach the point where you can realize that its the *past*, and you can remember it, but not "hold onto" it and basically *let this guy run the rest of your life*, that *you* are stopping yourself from moving forward and being happy.
The guy was a user, player, a**hole, pick whatever name you want, he hurt you deeply... and *you* have a choice to hold onto that hurt forever and let it affect the rest of your life, or to take hold of your own life, get therapy if you need it to do it, and move forward. Nobody can do that for you, its something you have to do for *yourself*.
You're young and beautiful, this guy has already done damage in your life, *please* don't let him *continue* to ruin your life by not doing something, not seeking help.
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:01:15 PM | Give into your anger and your training to the dark side will be complete, Luke I am your father the force will not be with you, sorry for the dark vader quote and cream lyrics below.
but the answer you seek is finding Aphrodite and she rides a crimson shell,
And you know you cannot leave her for you touched the distant sands, if not..... your local therapist can help | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:13:25 PM | | Maybe you need to confront him to get this anger off your chest? It's hard come to grips with this type of life lesson. I hope you will be able to work thru your trust issues and also know that anger held inside can make you very ill. I say confront this putz and get all this poison out of your system.. Then take up kick boxing lol | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:10:28 AM |
The OP created a post saying she made that whole thing up for a school paper, yet people are STILL trying to give her answers.
Yaaaah, Um - No she diNNT.
K-here goes folks. TRY to pay Real Close *Attention* k?
The OP (~Elle) Started this Thread - THIS thread ('original' one)
OP disclosed Abuse (Statutory Rape Is Abuse) , Vented Her ANGER (rage? yes) , Over/About said Abuse , Asked for 'feedback'.
Some folks posted, offered ~Kind~ words , advice , such.
Some folks did 'Not' (but, for Some 'reason'?) , Felt the 'need' to Post ... AnyWay.
Perhaps Some did/Could Not 'see Past' the Anger, ' All CAPS' - That ... The OP posted in
(Originally) *siiiiigh* , gettin Exhausted here Folks - Please! TRY to Keep UP ?
K-after reading some Very Scathing posts , the OP (rightfully So , i would say) ... Had 'Second Thoughts' - about her Original...
SooooooO, OP (~Elle) , Started Other (2nd) Thread , in Which
(now, here's where it seems to get *tricky* , for Some of You - so...Try?)
She Admitted, YES! the Abuse Did , Indeed ... Happen To Her!
Then , OP claimed ... That she was NOT angry , Anymore , And had started The First/
Original/ This Thread... 'As an Experimennnnt' (for school/paper/blah)
I gather , OP was TRYing to 'Save Face' ... Big Friggin Deal!
I am always Soooo Very Gald , to Know - That...there are So Many ...
P E R F E C T people , here , in this SWAMP/zoo.
As, i have Not seen OP (the ~Lovely Elle - whom by and by , could Easily *stomp*...)
Post ('lately/since')
Which Probably meannnns, Either : She is even More Distraught , after Being Attacked-
Here, on this lovely playground (so H.S.) , After ... Being ABUSED , in zee 'First Place' , being so Silly , as to *think* , That She would encounter much Different - here
*OR*
SomeBody , Tattled (again - playground/H.S./'gradeschool'?)
And is Now Banned.
~Lovely , just Lovely~
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:30:53 AM | just go read this girl's forum history and I think you might just get a better insight into her.
looney tune and a dangerous one at that!  | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/5/2008 4:55:40 AM | "They're coming to take me away to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time..  ..."
 OP is a nutjob and either needs to either start taking something, or stop, it looks like she has some kind of roid-rage. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:50:28 AM | | Aprinclyfrog is right..As long as you hold this anger you are giving someone power over your life. He has moved on and your anger has no effect on him whatsoever. The best thing you can do for yourself is seek counseling. Someone that is versed in sexual abuse. This, unfortunately, is not the place for you to vent. You will get no help or sympathy in these forums. And yes given that you were 15 and he was an adult it def. was sexual abuse. The age difference def. gave him some power and control over you. Please please please go seek help or you will have no productivity in your adult life. | |
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