| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:28:48 PM | Seek help, your anger and vulgarity are completely out of control. You were a child yet you did choose to stay with this guy. In the four years during the relationship did friends or family not advise you to break it off? You always had the ability to leave him but decided not to. So be a big girl admit YOU messed up and go to a Dr for some snger management and therapy to try and figure out why you were so happy to be miserable.
You cannot jump down people's throats just cause they cannot understand how you could still be so upset after so long. You are ruining your own life holding on to such anger and hurt. You will never get past it until you own it and choose to move beyond it. Good luck. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:59:00 PM | | I love your writing...raw....real....you don't have to leave out the F****'s for anyone but sheltered B types who've had it too easy in life to truly understand outrage...Just don't waste too much time allowing it to eat you alive my dear. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:56:17 PM |
Having said that, having lack of empathy places accusing posters into one of two categories:
1. You are either uneducated regarding child molestion and the cause and effects.
or
2. You are a predator yourself and will continue to justify your heinous acts.
Ahh, the good ol' "You're either with us, or you're with the terrorists... er, rapists" logical fallacy. It's a false dilemma.... there's more than two options, 1 and 2 can both be false. You're either too simple minded to see it or you think we are.  There! See how stupid you sound?  Here are a few more valid options you failed to post...
3. You believe these children have been coddled and don't understand the meaning of problem... Like, "I've only eaten three times this week" kind of problem, or a "I've slept on concrete for the past two years" kind of problem. In your book, "Whaaaanh, waaaanh!! My BF broke up with me" hardly qualifies as a problem of any real magnitude.
and/or
4. You believe in common sense instead of common law. Mother nature bestowed the ability to reproduce on this girl two or more years before her boyfriend even started seeing her. The law calls sex at that age statutory rape. Nevermind the fact that the female of our species seems to have managed sex and pregnancy during their early teens just fine for more than 100,000 years. You think that she was old enough to know exactly what she was doing. Just like 15 year old children doing drive-bys know exactly what they are doing and are tried as adults... she is adult enough to accept responsibility for her own actions. In your opinion, this is little more than another attention seeking self pity thread. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/9/2008 6:34:53 PM | unattached, have you seen the road of hard knocks? That in your opinion you believe this girl to be coddled? It would sound as though your post comes from resentment over the fact that you don't believe she has had it as bad as you have....
maybe that is something to take into consideration with some of the negative remarks here that maybe those who have no room in their heart may feel that she has no idea what pain is like in comparison to some of you.
Why can we not take this as empathy over the fact that maybe just maybe she is telling the truth. And she has her moments of trying to control the rage she has experienced in her young 20 yrs on earth. Most at this age are just figuring out what being an adult is. And having your childhood robbed from you can create rage. I don't care if he only had sex with her once... she trusted him to be someone in her corner. She found out that he wasn't. for those who say she's lying.... have you read many of her other posts? have you paid attention to her poems? Looking at her profile tells me alot of where she is at right now...
I am sorry that you think she is lying... for you don't see deeply into a person's soul... the shallowness of your words pain me for her... only for her... you can attack me I am much stronger then you... and I know it's difficult to open your eyes when you are blinded by your own selfish motives... but maybe one day you'll understand... Elle I apologise for their ignorance.... | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/11/2008 12:55:02 AM | ^^^^^ Nope, I''m sorry to say, after read all her "poetry" and distilled everything she has said to say, I still come away with the impression that she is being overly dramatic. I suppose that I'm the only one who's noticed that the thrust of her anger is directed at the fellow who had the misfortune of leaving her. No. She doesn't get angry at what's been done, she only gets hysterical when the guy decides that they're no longer together.
Sounds like adult bitterness to me.
Ask anyone who's been truly abused as a child. There's no "happily discussing our 30 year differences under the moonlight". It tends to be a rather brutal affair. Believe me, I didn't notice whether "anything was going on down there".
You all got suckered in by her story. I didn't. Sorry.
Oh, Pixie dust, How the hell did you come up with your name? Pixies are supposed to be small. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:12:04 AM | | ^^^^ You seem very bitter against women in general.... and I must of struck a cord with you somewhere to throw mud like you do... a person's true character tends to come out in a forum which is like I enjoy them so... you did a grand job of putting yourself under the microscope.... I thank you... | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:25:50 AM | Hon, I am so sorry this happened to you.
You were young and vulnerable and he gave you what you were desperate for....love and attention.
I know what it is like to be that child craving an adult to love me unconditionally, and accepting it from whomever is willing to offer it.
Something horrible happened to you, but you are calling the shots from here on. Don't let him destroy the rest of your life. You have to learn to love yourself before you will find what you are looking for in a man, and maybe right now you need to take a break from looking for a man to heal and find out who you truly are.
You can take this tragedy and turn it into something positive. The sad truth is that there are plenty of people out there who will prey on the weak and vulnerable. You need to take some time to find your inner strength so you don't become a victim again.
Love and strength to you, sweetie. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:39:48 AM | | HONEY THAT MAN WAS A PIG!!!!!!! HE DESEVERS TO HAVE HIS LITTLE WEE WEE CHOPPED OFF!!!! YOU KNOW CHEATERS ARE PIGS . BUT HONEY ITS BEEN YEARS AND YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT. I PROMISE HE WILL GET WHAT IS COMING TO HIM. HIS WIFE WILL GET TIRED OF HIS ASS AND LEAVE HIM FOR SOMEONE BETTER. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:43:57 AM | hey there elle..... i suspect that he probably lost interest when you stopped being a child. there are a lot of them out there.
the rest of you..... people who were less than kind to the OP? you ought to be ashamed of yourselves! would it kill ya to be charitable and understanding over this woman's pain and confusion? miserable cruds!
i do have to agree that you need ta find a way to move past it. it could take years, even decades, because when your concept of the world is shredded, it is very difficult to find balance and serenity, but you are gonna have ta try. for you. not for anyone else. carrying around that anger is harming only you. the whackadoo that did this to you is certainly not suffering right now. in fact, he probably already has his sights set on the next "lucky" little girl.
the healing cant come from anyone except you. therapy helps some people. i have personally never found it to be of much use, but some find solace. others find something from one of the many religions out there. again..... not for me personally, but there is some success there for some.
inevitably though, try to forgive him and let go of the rage. at first it will be lip service, but eventually it will become real.
you are a vital and beautiful young woman, and beneath all that hurt there is a lot of love and tenderness.
believe me, i understand losing that one person in all the world. for me it was the love of my dad. when i lost my father, my world collapsed. it took me 35 years, but i have finally begun to come to grips with all of it.
i did it through composing music and studying prehistory and ancient history.
each person finds a way in their own way.
in any case, elle, i wish you the best and my thoughts are with you.
good luck. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/11/2008 12:06:24 PM | | Someone in their teens really think they have grown up.... and if you've had teenagers you would realize the frustration of talking to them when they consider you a dinosaur and out of touch with today... you take a girl like her who was in a single Mother household until the Mother brought in a abusive boyfriend and then you get a mess with her turning outward to someone who understands her... girls like this fall in love with someone who knows how to manipulate. She stayed around him until moving on with disfunction facing her in her home and outside of it. It's hard to grow up and move on when that's what you matured to the age of 20 at.... the legal system says a minor child does not have the legal right to make the decision of sleeping with an adult... and the system would take the matter over if it had been brought out. To bad it wasn't. It has taken my own children who are in their mid 20's to realize that hey Mom you knew better then I thought you did... the emotional maturity to correlate right/wrong doesn't develop completely until after 21.... and the concensus is that she's had YEARS to realize this and get over it? she isn't even at a legal age of drinking here in Missouri yet..... you would swear Elle must be at least 40 by now.... mmmm ... | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/11/2008 4:49:12 PM | When I read the OP my first re-action was "Pity, party of one".
That changed.
As I read on and on, the others who seemed to understand the OP, their comments started to sink in. I then re-read her post and finally heard what she was saying.
So to the OP, I'm sorry you had to go through that. As has been said, in short, I hope you can find the place where you can use this horrible experience to make a better future for yourself. Please don't paint all men with his brush, give yourself permission to hope.
To the rest of you, thank you for making me take a harsh look at myself. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/12/2008 9:45:30 PM |
unattached, have you seen the road of hard knocks? That in your opinion you believe this girl to be coddled? It would sound as though your post comes from resentment over the fact that you don't believe she has had it as bad as you have....
You're ignoring point 4 and my first post. I can't say I blame you... it's difficult to argue for the side that opposes common sense and win. Furthermore, I did not dispute the veracity of her story. I'm sure it's true, and I truly couldn't care less about her "plight." From what I read, she was a willing participant, she's upset that she was dumped, and would now like to feign ignorance in retrospect. No coercion was involved. She was a volunteer, not a victim.
And having your childhood robbed from you can create rage.
She did not have her childhood robbed. The children being mangled daily in Iraq are being robbed of their childhood. She was a willing participant until he broke up with her. That sounds more like a jilted love than an abused child to me. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/13/2008 9:21:24 AM | | honey, the man was a sicko. you were young and dumb and full of cum. so you really need some counseling to get that out of your head. so try to forgive and you will never forget. and realize that not all men are scum. there are some truly nice, caring men out there so go out and meet them. | |
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 143 | |
| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/13/2008 9:27:26 AM | Oh, not this bullsh!t thread again...
People, read the f*cking thread before replying. She said she made the whole story up for a school paper. Nobody did a thing to the OP. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/13/2008 10:33:24 AM | | thought it was going to get wiped, can't see the point in masking swear words or the need to use them in the first place :) | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/13/2008 2:14:27 PM | you are killing yourself mentally by allow the anger to control you...
If you really want to heal from the hurt find someone to sit down and talk with it seems that is what you need desperately...
One thing I find funny is you want ppl to stop asking if you play basketball.. well in your intrest you have basketball listed first.. uhmm your height then your intrests would lead to that question... | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/15/2008 3:31:47 PM | | Support in a situation like this is not going to be warm and fuzzy. You will need to recognized that the world is not fair. It can be a very beautiful place but there is nor rhyme or reason to who gets the breaks. In my quest to understand the injustices I've suffered I was given the notion of radical acceptance as a way to move on. It is not an easy thing to do but it is just accepting that what happened, happened and try to move on. There are many nice men out there who will prize your companionship and intelligence. It will take some time for you to heal from this wound but you must CHOOSE to heal and move on. When it gets to the point where you can learn no more from this betrayal, then find a way to direct your focus to something that makes you feel happy and good about yourself. Do NOT let what another person does to you define your sense of self-worth. Become a new woman who has learned a bitter lesson and has used this lesson to be wiser and more discriminating. There is no reason to give up on humanity because of one butthead. BTW, I don't think it is about an adult/child juxtaposition here. It is about men in a culture with lousy role models. It is "cool" to "score" with women as if they are objects to use and discard. This attitude is supported by the intense hormonal****ail in the blood. Physical desire "justifies" a lot of indescribable and horrid behavior. It is about selfishness and what overcomes it is character, self-knowledge, and breeding. Time wounds all heels. I am and you should be thankful that children did not result from your coupling with the (man?). Real men and women step up to life and do the right thing. Put this moron behind, and do what it takes to move on. Unfortunately, this is probably not the only time in life you'll be gut punched so get up on your feet and move on. There is love out there, find it and stop dwelling on your pain - it will become suffering if you do not. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:28:49 AM | I guess I must have miss'd something in the original thread.Or did I catch it an some didn't.You was with him in a physical relationship for 4 years and you knew this man was or wasn't MARRIED? This makes me think two things.If you was with him for 4 years and he was married then your not ever going to get accused of wearing your thinking cap very often.. An if you knew he was married and continued having an on going physical relationship then your both "CHEATS".. Get over you yourself you big baby. An your height has nothing to do with it. Your height is incorrect in your profile too. Let me call the WayyyyyyyyyyyyyAmbulance . I agree with some of the first responces.This thread should have been deleted from the start. 4 years?. Maybe you was the one making advances on him. And was he 25 back then? Or 25 now?
Your thread sounds more like a sad poem than it does a true happening.I'm sure he has his own side of the story. Maybe you was the naughty girl next doors . But reguardless,Your still young and you will have plenty of time to have many more heart aches. We all have had many. So move right along and find another victom.I've noticed that most of the time when people continue to bash their past relationships that later I've found that they are normally the problem and want to place blame in others and not want to take any blame of their own. So they whine to everyone else and usually it's to gain sympathy. I try to never bash my past relationships. There must have been something good about the guy for you to stick in there for 4 years. | |
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| Why Would an Adult do This to a Child?
Posted: 1/16/2008 11:11:36 AM | | Well, it's been five years and you're still f'd up about it. Personally, I'd seek some counseling and work through the issues. You can't change what happened, but you can how you react to it. Why continue to let it ruin your life? | |
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