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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:14:15 PM |
well i was on here before i met my bf...and i am still on it bc i find these forums very fun to read so to speak...
That's great!!! and, there's nothing wrong with that but maybe you should re-write or re-phrase your profile as to "not" be misleading. Just a suggestion. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:15:03 PM | | ha no i dont have a drinking problem nor a drug problem..i never do drugs...i drink MAYBE once a month if that...he is on probation right now for a dui..and the reason he didnt stick around was because he was afraid he was going to put himself in further trouble...on top of that my gf was there and he thought she was staying...i would never lead him on i love him and am trying to build a life with him..yes hes being careful..i dont blame him i want him to be..but the comments he makes are making me think hes coming home adn its really tiring when i dont know | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:17:38 PM | Kennedy, Yea, i saw hime in 6th grade... he was red head couldn't belive it but now i also rememer it was days of B/W TV...lol
My point is i see your BF checking out the scene, telling you about his plans to return if the scene is cool. He's no dim wit who's going to comeback into a dangerous affair with his whole heart until the place is secure for the kids, himself and even his dog...
So, anyway, u need to show the old man he's not going to get thumped up side the head while sleeping in your bed some noight after you had a few beers with the girls...
as always smiles for u.... corky | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:21:29 PM | | haha yea ...him and i are great...its just that im tired of the games hes playing or seems to be playing..and hes not checkin out the scene i assure you..actually hes sittin here right now watchin tv...i think that hes just punishing me for that night | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:27:22 PM | i don't think the problem is you. i think he's the problem!!! NOT.here is just another case of a nice guy . trying to do the right thing for love .if i were him. i would run for the hills and never look back. get some help before you black out again and kill him.this guy sounds like a saint and still you question his intentions ... get real he is not the problem , YOU ARE. get some help. i am not saying this to be mean, but to be truthful.i know that if i was in his shoes. i wouldn't look back after the second incedent.so count yourself lucky for him to come back and put up with your crap.
you said that you were in a bad relationship for 10 yrs. . if that doesn't count for some sort of psycological problem. i don't know what does. i can't hurt to seek help . it can only make you better , and teach you how to deal with your blind rage.GOOD LUCK TO YOU. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/1/2008 7:35:11 PM | | bad relation ship as in i was verbally attacked at every turn ...and ignored for most of the time..which is why things happened the way they did...no sir..hes not a saint..hes a great guy....and i do NOT have a problem...see...the first time we split i did get help..and it was wonderful and i worked thru so much...i cant tell you what happened that night because i have no recollection of it...if there was something in my drink..which is totally possible considering the place we were at...then it would explain what happened...and hes not all innocent you know..but i will not go into his faults because it only makes me look as though i point fingers..and i know what ive done was wrong the first time..the 2nd time....i HAD NO CLUE!!! nothing like that has ever happened to me before...hes indicated he wants to be here and that he loves me and that has NOTHING to do with why hes not living here now...hes just being careful is all..it'll all work out i have faith...but thank you :) | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/1/2008 8:19:50 PM |
situation is good....im good..i know what i want...i know whats best for my kids lol...dead post!!
um, Niiiice Try OP ! 
Tis Not a 'dead post' (as Much as ya might be 'regretting' it - sorry)
The ' situation ' ? Is NOT 'good' (not at All)
Oh, i dunno - may not be 'bad' Either. All have had their 'deelios' (if not? Either LIEing , Or...have just had an easy shmeazy life)
NM (No Matter) , Tis YouR lil 'deelio' , That is being 'addressed' (in response To YouR posting/starting thread)
And? YouR situation is Not 'all fine -n- good'. If you Are *thinking* So? It is going to be a Loooong,Hard road Ahead of You.
I GET 'what' you are Wanting us all to 'answer' , some have even attempted.
And , it seems as though OP would like us all to ' forget ' all the Details , that she has provided, just Tell her IF the gent Is ' Leadin her on ' ?
K, OP - i Will 'play along'.
"NO" I don't think that he IS 'leading you on'. Not ' Directly ' / Purposefully .
I DO believe , that he Is BE ing Cautious
You BOTH have Children , THEY deserve a ~Peaceful Environment~.
Even IF ... Only Once , the incidents you speak OF ... Could Scar a Child for Life
(if Ever Witnessed, You can Not insure that they wouldn't - if Blacked Out)
I am Further perplexed (after further reading/consideration) ...
IF the gent is so IN Love With You (and, seems he IS) , Then "WHY"?
why/what/when/how/What DUH!?!
Would he have just ' LEFT You ' , when you were In Such a ' State' ?
(all , ' Wasted/Out of it/ Blackin Out ' ?)
If you Had been Drugged , seems the gent Woulda been ~Concerned~ , Been TRYing to HELP you? NO?
I am 'leaning towards' , Not ' buying ' the whole '4 beers ' claim.
More ' torwards ' ... OP has a Serious Problem , Needs to Admit / Face that.
I am NOT 'saying' , That Op is psychotic/mental/any such sillyness.
Just - Simply ... a 'relationship' is probly the Least of worries right now (or, should be)
*pssst* there is a lil 'not so hidden/secret' Mssg , in post
Good Luck Op , Best wishes to You , Kids
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/1/2008 10:12:44 PM | :) just so you know NONE of the kids were there...my best friend and my boyfriend were there and he thought she was staying to take care of me...thats why he left...eh had a dui and is on probation and didnt wnat to chance getting into trouble..and she said she would take care of me..HELL IF I KNOW!!! i wasnt coherent nor was i "there" so to speak lol...thsi is all i know and what iwas told...i promise..no drinking problem..no drug problem...not on my own accord anyway...everyone was shocked that this happened...i know that when you put your personal life online like this u are apt to get answers you dont want..and thats fine...i know who i am and what is wrong with me..and pretty much being a dork is the extent of my mental incapabilities  | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:22:06 AM | Wow!.....I just plowed through this thread and I must say I believe the OP has some anger issues.
I looked at her profile and it scared me to be quite honest. Not too often you see a profile so full of intimidation, anger and hostility. And then I read the OP's responses to the member's opinions......sighhhhhhh
To the OP.....what you may not realize is that this man you were or are dating is going to be walking on eggshells for the rest of his life if he stays with you.......and so will his kids, family and friends. He has better things to do in life than take you on as a "project".....and that's what you will become....a project ......and it is a destructive thing to do at his stage in life given the responsibilities he has to his kids.
I also sense you aren't being completely truthful in your denials about you having any problems........your profile speaks volumes.
Sorry<---- (that's a Canadian thing) for being blunt, but you asked for opinions and now you have mine.
(I'll now slip on my hockey helmet, shin pads and other safety equipment in anticipation of your reply....lol)
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:48:06 AM | WOW! I read through this entire thread, I read your profile, and all I can say is WOW!
Your profile is sooooooo negative. I understand how past hurts can affect your thoughts of approach but WOW!
I have a couple of questions.
1) Do you have a "serious" back problem as a lot of your profile pictures have you leaning forward? Pretty suggestive (provocative) don't you think! Doesn't that make you see why others may be asking for nude pics or cam shots?
2) In one of your replies you make the comment that you had a friend present when you "blacked out". What does this friend know/think of the situation at the time and how does she/he feel about it now?
3) In today's world, why would you leave your drinks unattended? I don't drink but I would not even leave a glass of coke unattended for fear of someone doing something stupid just for kicks. Haven't you heard of the "date-rape" drugs? One can never be too cautious.
4) If your boyfriend is right there with you how are you able to find the time to answer all the replies without him knowing what you are doing, or is there truely something wrong with this relationship that he "knows" whats going on and doesn't care. I would not be standing by while my partner is asking if I am stringing them along.
A lot of people have tried to answer your question (some down right "rude" about it) and you keep minimizing (making excuses for) all the answers you have been given. If I were you I would be consentrating on WHY you blacked out and solving that problem first. Then, if what you say is true, once you have that figured out you can go on with life and work on your attitudes, then the boyfriend. Please be aware of ALL the children.
"What about the children
The helpless little children
The children who have to suffer
Because of our mistakes
Let's think about the children
The bright, enlightened children
And let's be better people
If ONLY for the children's sake"
May the Angels of God protect you and your throughout the year 2008 and may you feel His arms of love around you always
Angelica2008 | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:12:28 AM | i think that people just need to learn to give other people a break. you know instead of being rude and insensitive to ones questions why try actually reading the post... oh wait that would make too much sense. too many people are using these forums as a way to bash other people.
and as far as your boyfriend goes.. who knows if he's stringing you along. we are not there to see the everyday interaction between you two. i am sure alot of it is he's confused men get confused and hurt just as women do.. they just usually tend not to show it. so if you really love him dont give up until he says it over and walks out of your life. but pressure him either okay...
(this may not be the best place to get advice!) | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:19:26 AM | Well hi to start with, well the honest truth by what i read it is 1/ people are here on this site as there relationships havent worked before, so you are really asking the wrong sort of people for advice. But seeing you have you will have to be prepared to listen to them all, thats why i will add my 2 bobs worth. It isnt nice to pick fights for no reasons, not for him or you as it will make you both angry and say things you dont mean, i do believe that your drink might have been spiked. There is only 2 people that can work this out and thats you and him, i feel you need to sit down and dicuss your feelings openly with him and ask him if he has any doubts. Talk to him about what he would like out of the relationship and tell him what you would like out of it. and ask him if he thinks you need proffesional help or is it something you can work through together.
Best of luck eveyone deserves to be happy | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:43:48 AM | Well in reading all the posts and your responses, I have come to this conclusion. Most react to the situations that caused your separation. You have repeatedly rejected advise that you need help and this is not the answer you were seeking.
Perhaps if you attended couple counselling, it would be of benefit. Generally, they will see you individually too and will advise you to have your own counsellor if they think you need one (your partner too). Maybe this is not what you would like to hear either, but if you seriously want to develop a basis for a healthy futrue together, it would be wise. Good luck to you. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:31:41 PM | | thank you to everybody that was nice to me :) i appreciate it..and heres the thing...the blackout thing happened one time...my friend thinks something happened to my drink..im sorry im naive..and yes i shouldnt have left it unattended...i know that i have issues everybody does...im nto saying that my issues didnt cause the first break up that was totally apparent and we have gotten past those...but for someone who doesnt drink to get drunk..suddenly finding herself on teh floor not knowing what happened is a scary thing...im more careful now and him and i know better than to let it go that way again....as for him being here and me being on here...he was watching tv...he knows that i talk to people online..and as far as trust..thats not an issue with us...he knows id never cheat on him ever...im a people person and i get bored sometimes thats why im here...couples therapy..well not sure that he would agree hes a very laid back country boy who doesnt think he does any wrong..which in this instant he hasnt...i know a few more things than i did last night..and everything will work out how its supposed to | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:23:17 PM |
3) In today's world, why would you leave your drinks unattended? I don't drink but I would not even leave a glass of coke unattended for fear of someone doing something stupid just for kicks. Haven't you heard of the "date-rape" drugs? One can never be too cautious.
And what do you propse anyone do w/their drinks when they go on the dance floor, bathroom etc....Most places don't allow you to take you drink on the dance floor for obvious reasons. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:40:36 PM | Ms. Kennedy,
With all do respect, you are just plain confused!
Wasn't that the question? Or am I the one confused?
I'm with Studley and Parry on this one.....
You seem to be really angry about something!
Once you admit this too yourself, you will feel a whole lot better!
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:20:55 PM | First and formost..... your 38 years old and you left your drink unattended... Aren't you old enough to realize you never ever do that in today's society ?
Not to be rude but i think thats one of the most dumbest things you could have ever done. There are not that many places where you can't take your drink into the bathroom/dance floor and if not get a friend to hold on to it if you need to go to the bathroom that bad and they don't alowe drinks in there. Second of all, if you think something was slipped in... there are ways of knowing... Ie: DRUG TEST. you go to your family doctor... explain that you went out and think something had been slipped into your drink and demand a drug test to see if its true. Reminents of drugs stay in your system from about a month or more. Then if it turns out you weren't slipped something.... then you can safely deduce that you'v got some major issues, and i don't blame the guy for not sticking around. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:22:35 PM | Maybe he understands you can't hold your liquor and might have a drinking problem. It isn't unusual to do something you regret while under the influence of alcohol. It can cause some very bad and ugly situations. Make a decision of whether you just shouldn't drink.
Good luck. We all make mistakes, what is important is whether you learn from them. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:41:33 PM |
First and formost..... your 38 years old and you left your drink unattended... Aren't you old enough to realize you never ever do that in today's society ?
Not to be rude but i think thats one of the most dumbest things you could have ever done. There are not that many places where you can't take your drink into the bathroom/dance floor and if not get a friend to hold on to it if you need to go to the bathroom that bad and they don't alowe drinks in there. Second of all, if you think something was slipped in... there are ways of knowing... Ie: DRUG TEST. you go to your family doctor... explain that you went out and think something had been slipped into your drink and demand a drug test to see if its true. Reminents of drugs stay in your system from about a month or more. Then if it turns out you weren't slipped something.... then you can safely deduce that you'v got some major issues, and i don't blame the guy for not sticking around.
Boy are you mis-informed....That kind of drug does NOT stay in your system for one month or more. Maybe a day at the most. If she thought somebody drugged her she should have went to her dr. right away and asked for a blood test. If everyone took their drinks with them every frickin where they went A. They'd loose their seat (if there's nobody there to save it for them and B. you can't bring drinks on the dance floor. If everyone brought their drinks on the dance floor it would be a safety hazard. Use your common sense. Leaving your drinks unattended is one of those things that you take a chance on. You take a chance everytime you walk out your front door don't you? You can't GLUE IT TO YOUR HIP...Geez.....If somebody is around wouldn't ya think somebody might have seen somebody doing that and said something. | |
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