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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/6/2008 1:02:18 AM | | yes we moved way too fast...we put about 10 years of relationship into one that only lasted 6 months...it was too much strain for both of us...he needs anger management help...i knew this...you see nobody knows what goes on behind the scenes unless someone tells you...and well...i knew that my child being hurt...WASNT going to happen again...discipline is vital..but this little girl is an angel...he got angry because he asked her 3 times to taker her muddy boots off in the foyer...but she forgot and came upstairs and sat on the couch adn put her feet up there..not thinking...kids do that...and he pulled her off the couch and yelled at her...see this kind of stuff is not my thing...so bam ...hes outta here | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/6/2008 1:36:58 AM | | If she had a drinking problem she wouldn't black out on 4 beers you people... at least use some common sense... obviously she has some emotional issues from her abusive relationship and she should seek counsling, but she's not a alcoholic based on what she has told us... so please stop this crap | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:38:36 AM | OMG thank you!!! THATS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS WHOLE TIME!!!...its never happened to me i cant imagine that it would after so little...but...all that is behind me now...im ready to venture onto my life and thank you again | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:48:13 AM | The guy needs to run as fast as he can............and don't look back!
You are psycho OP!
Your profile says it all when you state "I can be your worst nightmare"!
You are the guy's worst nightmare......hope he finds someone else.
You are one angry bitch, your profile is so full of anger, I am surprised the man even took one look at you.
Run Forrest Run........................ | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:57:20 AM | OP is NOT 'psycho'
*nuff nuff* with the Flaming.
I would suggest (strongly) , not even 'coming back' to this thread OP.
*Good Luck* to You , YourS.
He is just being ~Cautious~ , as All should be.
oh , niiiice 'Edit' (too bad there is just More Flaming in it - pffft)
Again , OP ? Do Not Respond.
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:05:32 AM |
its about whether or not hes going to come home or is he stringing me along And that is a question we can not answer. Contrary to your beliefs, your actions are a big part of this.
A view from the outside:
You aren't as over your past relationship as you may think, you have repeated history to a greater degree than you are admitting. Even the last incident, in spite of the very realistic possibility of being drugged, you reacted the same way as before. That would be unsettling to anyone.
OP, this isn't meant to cut you down, degrade or insult you. It is meant to give you a different perspective that you may not be seeing. It's obvious that he does not wish to be in those situations again, he left both times. I don't blame him. Bottom line, you need to talk with him about this, and I really mean ALL aspects of it, not just whether or not he's coming back. You do need to get help in other areas of your life since you seem to have some anger issues. Regardless of what precipitated the incidents, they happened, and that is the perspective that he is most likely going from. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:16:14 AM | Sorry to hear what happened, you most likely did get slipped a mickey. Who knows all that aside it did occur and it sounded quite tragic to say the least. I refer to both the adults and the children get the worse message when things like this occur.
If he is sending signals, and no misunderstanding is being taken, such as he feels obligated or feels it's his responsibility to make sure your taken care of, then you should move forward and get some counseling for the abuse y0u put up with in your last relationship, they sound like unresolved issues. Then bring him in for relationship counseling, most of us don't all have the skills require for a healthy relationship, we bring along a lot of garbage. Me included.
To be honest, some times it takes a direct question for a direct answer, this may open the door to what he sees that is needed to make him comfortable to move forward. Be for warned you may not like what he tells you.
Vic | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:50:38 AM | I don't think he's 'stringing (you) along' anymore than you're stringing him along. I do think he's confused, though (hence, the back and forth between you two--'dating' one minute, but 'moving in his things' the next, etc.) Clearly he has some reservations that you must address with him (if only for clarity and your (and his) peace of mind). I've read the 'replies' on this topic and almost every single one is urging you to LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE. So, from one fellow POF-er to another, ask yourself this question: If he is stringing you along (as I suspect you believe) then WHY MIGHT THAT BE? Don't know? Well, ask him! Then you'll know. That is, if you REALLY want to know. Do you????  | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 2/3/2008 7:17:24 AM | | Ok I really hope this gets to you, in a big SOS kinda way :) I just read ur first post. We all get comfortable with someone, the every day being together like you mentioned, we do things for that person as if they were our very own family, things become HABIT. But for real, even tho you feel like you really are crazy about this person and you HOPE SO BAD he's crazy for you, like the things he's doing, or saying, which involve the kids, new suv he's looked at, etc, just remember this, if things have gotten so "funkY" whether its fighting, or jerry springer drama lol, its not "Right" you guys arent THE ONES, ya follow? We never see "past" the bullshi# once we're deep down IN IT, but if you both would just cut your losses and move on, you'll be past it some day and think WOW we just wernet the ones. Thats all im saying, be careful, 'i've done that too, been in relationships i thought id be with that person forever, but now that im past the drama i look back and yeah i was crushed at the time, noone wants to HURT inside, but dang, im glad we got smart and its over, we are so blinded by the habit of someone we dont see the truth underneath. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 2/3/2008 11:02:19 AM |
The guy needs to run as fast as he can............and don't look back!
You are psycho OP!
Your profile says it all when you state "I can be your worst nightmare"!
You are the guy's worst nightmare......hope he finds someone else.
You are one angry ****, your profile is so full of anger, I am surprised the man even took one look at you.
Run Forrest Run........................
^^This is the one right here!!!
I hate to say this because I am sure you are a nice person on the inside...but holy &$*T as I read your original post I started to get anxious for that poor guy...no amount of money, no matter how GOOD the sexy is, nothing would make a guy stay in a relationship as toxic as the one you can potentially offer.
Just a bit of friendly advice, go spend 1000.00 on yourself, get some sessions with a psychologist and start digging!! YOU OWE THAT TO YOURSELF!!
Good luck, I hope you don't damage too many of my kind out there.
Emilio | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 2/5/2008 3:17:27 PM | | why dony you people leave the poor girl alone.just because you took a course in psycology or whatever does not make you experts on her life of anyones life for that matter.you just work it out and be happy girl dont let all this bs get you down | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 2/5/2008 3:43:58 PM | beliver,
I don't believe that all replies on the thread are meant to come down on her. From what I have seen, many people here have given her sound advice.
Let's not overlook at the fact that she started a thread open to members, where she is bound to get both sides of the coin. fair?
I have posted stuff where I have gotten some real strong support from some and a kick in the azz from others. Perhaps those reality checks that we get from unbiased members, make some realize what may or may not need work on.
Whether you go see a P.H.D> in psychology don't expect the doctor to JUST tell you what you want to hear...would that be fair to you??
IF you go see your best friend for advice, do you want him/her to be nice to you, or would you rather get a truthful opinion??
The yin and the yang hu? Good and bad? Hard soft realities.
The advice I gave her to go spend a good $1000.00 on her self in sessions with a doctor will do ANYBODY wonders.
Just my .25 cents Canadian :D
Emilio | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 2/5/2008 4:03:17 PM | I read thru one page, and couldnt handle anymore. Everyone is saying the same thing and you ignore everyone but the ones that agree with you. I doubt you will listen, but heres my two cents worth. RUN!!!!
If youre happy together, why are you asking such a silly question. And if you need to ask, ask HIM. But, be ready if it isnt what you want to hear.
I personally dont think you two should be together. And if a man told me to get rid of my puppy for his, Id rethink the entire relationship. Its one sided. There is so many things wrong with your situation. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 2/5/2008 4:10:36 PM |
i handled myself really horribly as far as picking fights for no reason, being mean etc...
The OP admits she has anger issues in her opening post. Being "mean" is obviously nothing new to her. I do not believe anyone slipped anything in her beer, the four (?) beers she drank obviously enhanced and intensified what seems to be normal behavior for her. Whereas she probably does not have a drinking problem, she should stay away from ANY mood altering substance.
I came to this opinion (which is MINE and I am entitled to it...hee hee) after reading what she wrote here and especially after reading her profile. Geeze...I would steer clear of her. She's mean with a bad attitude and it shows loud and clear. | |
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| Stringing me along or just plain confused
Posted: 2/5/2008 4:41:13 PM | Hi Kennedy,
In direct answer to your question, I don't think he is stringing you along, he is showing signs of wanting to get back with you, but at the same time he is hanging back, this could be for several reasons, a) he is waiting for something from you (commitment to change, healing, or possibly some signal or response), or b) he needs some thinking time.
A lot of those other posts were reactionary and you would not have found them at all constructive, after all, you didn't ask for condemnation of your actions... But they are however connected to the original question: I believe the underlying issue, which is holding back your current relationship, is all the pain and anger and mistrust from those 10 years of hell which you somehow endured. those are inside you like a bottle, and it seems easier to keep the lid closed and bury and forget, but occasionally the lid comes off by itself, if something gets too much, or reminds you of the past.
The only way to truly become free of your past is to empty that bottle. The decision to do this needs to come from you, but it is a great help to have other people who can help you, you are greatly blessed to have this man who wants to be there for you.
Maybe he will be happier to take further steps back to you, when he sees you are resolved /starting to take that painful journey of inner healing. I'd say more regarding healing but it's beyond the scope of this forum. All the best with this relationship, I hope it works out. | |
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