| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:25:45 AM | | Normally, I don't ever make the first contact. But having been on this *popular* website for a while and *STILL* be single made me think maybe I should change my passive approach. So I will start to initiate more from now on. I mean, I'd rather go after guys I would actually be interested in than getting lots of emails from guys that I am unlikely to be interested in. Don't get discouraged in the process..all you need is just ONE person :) | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:19:03 AM | Personally I think it's great and I wish more women took the chance. The whole "waiting for the guy to initiate" thing seems so 1950's. I mean, really, how can you complain that you get messages from all the "wrong guys" if you're not even willing to take a chance on what might be the "right guys".
Then again, it might just be a North American thing too. I know from travelling through Europe, Australia and Africa that women CAN (and should be willing to) make the first move... | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 6/7/2008 11:58:57 AM | OOOOPs Iam not a guy
Sorry.. to tell this to you guys. Since i have no bad feelings about men. Here comes the "but" . every man i have emailed frist . like just a friend hi . Or Shown any interest
toward. Has yet to answer back. Just to say thanks. So women are also confused by this. And men do freak easy....really ! even when I have anwsered a Email asking to get to know me better. And replied "It would be great to get to know you better"....Poof.. I never hear back. Think some people mind you . just hide behide the computer.Or they don't want what they ask for. I don't understand, But i find nothing wrong with Emailing a man frist> Don't you want to have a chance to choose who your attracted too as well.
You go girl !  | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:58:23 AM | I have no problem with a woman making first contact as long as once we begin talking she does not all of a sudden go belly up cold fish with no explanation then I begin to wonder about her sincerity.  | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:26:28 PM | | I'd say brownie points for girls that contact them first! I like girls who are a little aggressive, I think guys like to feel special and wanted just as much as girls do. Just like in a relationship, I think that most guys, although will not admit it, do like getting called and been shown their wanted and desired. ... I know I do | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:48:13 PM | | I think it's great. I mean we are in 2008 not 1950... You can't complain about getting the 'wrong' messages if you're not sending them to the 'right' (or at least what you think is right) people... | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:37:55 PM | More women should do it, not all guys are even aware they are being watched or go through the profiles looking for women. I rarely do it so I don't know who might be looking at my profile, if you see a profile that fits with you then send a message, it will make the guy feel good about it and may spark something special...who knows.
you've only got one life, live it! | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 7/16/2008 12:48:00 AM | Hah.. or you could be me and contact people who don't take the time sometimes to respond.
I like to take the first step to show i'm interested... And outside of online. For a person who hasn't really ever .. well.. i wouldn't say hasn't really ever. But, hasn't asked anyone out before... it takes guts.
I know where guys are coming from these days. My situation is a little unique in that I haven't really been socialized in the realm of guys. So taking initiative to show interest .. or perhaps growing a proverbial set of balls to ask some guy out one day just might happen.
It takes two to tango and I think women just need to realise that it shouldn't just be left up to the guys. It's a scary place this dating thing...  | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 7/16/2008 1:48:29 AM |
If this has been asked before I was unable to find it.
So what do you all think. I have been looking at the same profiles over and over and they me. So if I bite the bullet and messge them would it be okay to assume that they are going to be freaked out?
Honestly if a woman makes first contact I am in a sort relieved if it has been someone I have looked at her profile several times before, because I have a real strong tendency to be shy especially when it comes to women. So I have a hard time making first contact and trying to figure out what to say, but when I have one of my guitars strapped on I can get up in front of 250 and play with no prob and totally love it go fig lol | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 7/16/2008 3:39:20 AM |
If this has been asked before I was unable to find it.
So what do you all think. I have been looking at the same profiles over and over and they me. So if I bite the bullet and messge them would it be okay to assume that they are going to be freaked out?
Thanks!
The sexist double standard biased thoughts of the 50's should stay in the 50's. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 7/16/2008 7:11:54 AM |
Oh god yes.
I have two thumbs up for that. I'll put my big toes up. That's four thumbs up now. Actually... make it five thumbs up.
Men shouldn't have to always be the hunter while the woman is the prey. What are we, cavemen? Women, take responsibility for your own love life and stop waiting for the men to come to you, then complaining that the wrong men come!
this deserved to be repeated. Same with me. I see a number of women that have viewed my profile but have never responded to me. I also say "HEY, if you are interested in getting to know more about me then why not just send an email and ask what you want to know?" But like one poster said, Apparently we are still living in the cave man days and the men have to knock the woman over the head, and drag her off in order to find someone. Too barbaric! | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:09:21 AM | Well,,, I often make the first contact. If I am browsing and see someone I think I might like, I will likely send them a note. If I just add them to my favorites it's usually because I don't have the time at the moment to send them a thoughtful note but would like them to know I am interested.
I can handle "read deleted" but "unread deleted" I think is just rude!! It would be best if there would be some reply, some acknowledgment but if not,,, it's there loss after all!! | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:10:19 AM | | I haven't had any luck when contacting the man first. When it comes down to basics, people are pretty traditional, I find the man wants to do the pursuing. If they don't do the contacting, you have pretty much no chance of ever having a first meeting. Much of my time on this site has been an exercise in rejection. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 8/11/2008 8:57:19 PM | So not true. Women get rejected. I notice that when I start the contact, it fizzles out quickly, whereas if the guy does, we get at least through a couple of back and forth emails. In one case, actually a meeting. I don't know, it must be that I'm reaching out for guys that are totally out of my league (at least in their opinion)....
Oh, but this thread asks for a man's opinion, so sorry  | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 8/13/2008 4:28:34 AM |
(chiwoman29) So not true. Women get rejected. I notice that when I start the contact, it fizzles out quickly, whereas if the guy does, we get at least through a couple of back and forth emails.
Interesting. I notice the same sort of thing when I initiate contact, too. So, if MEN initiating contact fizzle out, and WOMEN initiating contact fizzles out, then neither sex will initiate contact, and the human race will die out...
Arlo  | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 8/20/2008 7:49:01 AM | I wouldn't have a problem with it all. I wouldn't assume they would freak out either. In my case I'm not looking to rush into anything and have only message with one woman who knows where she can bump into me any day. That hasn't happened but I'm not messaging every woman that I might be interested in but I wouldn't freak out if a woman messaged me and I'd get right back to her...
If the best can't be had, let the worst continue... | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:07:42 AM | I have no problem messaging guys first. I think it shows initiative and interest. I have had some really fantastic conversations with men that I messaged first. My only pet peeve is at least have the decency to message back even if you aren't interested...even a quick "thanks but no thanks" is better than a read/delete. I ALWAYS message back even if not interested...common courtesy...its difficult to make the first move and you should be commendated for making that step...male or female.
~happy fishing~
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 8/20/2008 9:04:41 AM | 2008?If any Man has an issue with a Woman contacting him first,my thought would be he's not searching for a woman?Lord give me women who are confident,outspoken.Communication is definatly a two way street.Why not contact him first,very flattering for me. Happy Fishing. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:29:35 AM | I can't imagine you will find too many guys that object. :)
Personally I find it very flattering whenever a woman initiates contact with me. Nothing has come of it at all but its very nice to think that something you wrote or something about your picture spurred a person to contact you... regardless of outcome. This whole POF thing can be intimidating to anyone and I think everyone should just be more forthright and fire off a message from time to time.
-R | |
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