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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:02:06 AM | Most men would appreciate it.
Makes it easier on us. remember we are the ones who usually make the first move and usually have to deal with the rejection issues. The fear of rejection is the hardest thing to overcome.
Contacting a man first would make it easier to start a conversation that will flow freely. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:57:04 AM | I would be *flattered* and you my dear have a very high chance of getting a date.
Rather you will regret the date or not, I can't say.
I can however promise to *not turn you into a lamp shade for my creepy apartment*.
I'm not into building furniture but that would be one beautiful lamp shade for sure!
Seriously, it shows me that you have the strength and courage to be a great mate and a partner rather than another number I put down as a Dependant.javascript:smilie(' ')
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:07:32 AM | Why would someone be freaked out if they receive a message from someone? I personally would be over the moon if a girl contacted me first! It would show that she is actively interested in me and would make a change from me having to message them first!
You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain! | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:01:34 AM | The obvious answer is that no, most guys are not going to be freaked out by the women who take the initiative. When many of us have to deal with Read/Delete or simply no response, receiving a message from someone who is interested in us is a nice boost.
Oddly I've had longer conversations, and several dates/gf's as a result of them mailing me first.
If you haven't much success waiting for someone to contact you, there's no reason not to take the chance. I'd find it less likely that you'd get as many of your messages Read/Delete as we do. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:38:01 AM | | I would have no problems with a woman contacting me first. At least it shows that a woman is interested in me and she isn't shy about expressing her interest. OP, there is nothing for you to lose. The worst thing that could happen is a "No thanks" response or a read/deleted because he wasn't interested. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:49:10 AM | OP, it's always seemed to me that if both men and women are looking to find each other, there's twice the chance they'll hook up with somebody compatible.
When I was looking in the past, I followed up on women that contacted me who I thought were attractive, just as much as I followed up on women that responded to my first contact.
So if you see a guy you like, go for it!  | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:14:58 AM | OP: I'd say it's immoral, very un-ladylike and all the neighbors will gossip! Tsk-tsk - how were you brought up!?
^^ Well, that's what I would have said back in 1865.
Seeing how it's 2008, am pretty sure it's not only 'accepted' but also expected.
Alot of us are shy and hate rejection - but you never know until you roll those dice what may become.
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:00:09 AM | | I think it would depend on the guy. If he is "hot", he will get lots of mail and be annoyed. If he is no so popular, he wil likely appreciate the contact. He may not have even seen your profile to know you exist. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:59:51 PM | | OP, I think most guys will think it's normal. In the real world, women have other means of attracting a guy's attention, but here the IM, the email, and the add is all we have. If it helps, think of it as a smile or a wink or something that you'd do in real life. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:07:16 PM | Being contacted by a lady is definitely a good thing.
For one, it shows that she's sure of herself, and can muster up the courage to do so.
Making first contact can be scary... and it's definitely appreciated (at least by me) when someone makes the effort to do so.
Also... it lets me know that she's actually interested in me. Or at least willing to know more.
Definitely a good sign. It saves me wondering that if I write her... will I get a response? :p
Myself, I'll always answer... even if I'm not interested, I'd at least let her know why. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:36:12 PM | | I don't get this whole topic, what year is this again...who cares who initiates a conversation. Offline you don't go around not saying a word to anyone unless they speak to you first. So how come people think this will be weird or strange to get an initial message from a woman | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:08:53 PM | Hi Op,
I got a few e-mails from ladies and responded to the ones that had more then one sentence. I tend to just ignore the short "telegram like" e-mails unless it's someone who contacts me to comment on a forum post. I say if you are going to take the time to contact someone read their profile first and start a conversation accordingly. The ones that freak me out are the ones with no ... substance. Good luck to you.
Ray | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/3/2008 8:50:24 AM |
So if I bite the bullet and messge them would it be okay to assume that they are going to be freaked out?
I believe most guys would be. I've noticed a lot with the online chasing is that it is either one extreme or the other. Categorically, the chaser tends to be the more controlling one in the relationship dynamic. And vice versa. But I say balancing would be better. Who wants to talk to a women who sparingly replies to guys that try to contact her? I mean she might be cute but either doesn't respond or has a bad attitude. Wondering why the guy you like won't contact you? Try contacting him. Unless it's a control thing. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/3/2008 10:11:24 AM | | Contacting a guy first shows you have confidence, which is very sexy. If a guy gets freaked out because you contacted him, he's not likely to be someone you'd want anyway. I will always reply to a woman that contacts me. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:02:26 PM | | Whoa. Has that ever happened on this site? I thought that was an urban legend. Everyone knew someone who heard about someone who had a friend was contacted by the female first. Go for it, be the first. | |
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| What do guys think about a girl contacting them first?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:28:15 PM | If this has been asked before I was unable to find it.
So what do you all think. I have been looking at the same profiles over and over and they me. So if I bite the bullet and messge them would it be okay to assume that they are going to be freaked out?
Thanks!
I seem to enjoy better results (as in, longer conversations) when the woman initiates contact. Neither HER initiating, nor MY initiating, has led to anything substantial, so I can't really say which will be a "winning formula"; but, if the guy looks nice and piques your interest? Why not? I certainly would not be "freaked out". I'd think it was really nice.
Arlo | |
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