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Are you serious? What a load of nonsense! You really believe that if someone has both roses missing they are involved; sorry definitely involved? You must have a secret decoder ring that most people don't have... There are no "rules" or "common practises" when it comes to these dumb little icons - they are meaningless (symbolically, and substantially) and most people treat them as such. To read a message into them being used is ludicrous!

Yes, there will always be those who don't "clue in".

When people figure it out, they will realize that it also shows how available they are.

Many will send them all off at first, ...lesson learned.

I think it's a great idea.

Remember, this ISN'T a pay site, where "winks" are used as a gimmick to generate site revenue, this is a great way to show how serious you are, by only sending a rose if you have already contacted, corrosponded with, and have sincere interest in another user.

Not something to send to just a "chat buddy".

The "reserve" is not private, ...like I said, many won't clue into this part yet, but it is a VERY useful indicator.

RE: "Thanks for the rose.."/"You sent a rose to someone else? ...why?"

One of the biggest problems with the internet is intent/anonymity, this peels back the curtain a little, ...but only just a little, because it still up to interpretation, and the reasoning of the user.

It can be used for anything you want, ...as long as you ignore the duality of the feature.

He never tells anybody things, not even the mods. People are still confusing this with the "winks" scam used by pay sites, ...not the same thing, nor is it the same purpose as favorites (which has no single purpose, it's many different features make this obvious to all but the myopic).

I don't think you understand the feature's two intents. It's not meant as a fun "wink" to send chat buddies, it's dual purpose is not a frivolous one, cognizance of this will curtail the need to complain.

I think you are missing the intent of the feature, it's two-fold, and specific - use however you want, understand its intent though.

How many you have or have sent is easily deduced by how many are showing, this is updated to "null" 30 days after one is sent.

Favorites have many different purposes, many neglect to realize this, that's their problem.

The difference is, the "Rose" feature has a specific purpose from the sender's/receiver's perspective, and a secondary "accountability" feature for those who like to play at being a "player" un-noticed - if a user is stringing along several other members, they will notice that it's gotten more difficult to get away with it.

If you are a sincere POF member looking to find "the one" (and not the "bunch), I can't see why there would be any complaints.

For those who want to play the field and break hearts?

I can see why you don't like it.

This feature is for AFTER you have correspondance going, and a sincere interest in someone. This is also implied as it's on your profile whether you've sent a "Be Mine" to somebody for all to see, ...making it clear that you have a specific person in mind as "the one".

Note the text in the link, "Use wisely".

This isn't a "Forum Buddy" feature, it's a profile feature, it is consistant with the raison d'etre of the site:


Consider the above, consider the message, consider the design and implementation of the feature:

It's transparent -

An actual way for one user to express a sincere intent of "courtship" to another once they are past the "getting to know you" phase, and the receiver can KNOW that they are the ONLY one who has been asked to take things to the next level by viewing the sender's profile.

It's perfect in its simplicity -

It really is only suited for the "one shot", as both users can exchange both roses, effectively taking them off the market, PUBLICALLY and PRIVATELY both - to WHOM they've done this "with" is still private to those involved,

....but that they have expressed "be mine" to "the one", is not.

It IS what it IS, ...that part needs no changing at all.

Sincerity/Honesty - verifiable, - yet the details are ONLY known to those involved.

....It does seem to act as a bit of an IQ test too.

... if the person means so much, why not call them on the phone?

No doubt by the time a rose is sent, there have been many phone calls.

That's why the few times I have looked at men's profiles ... if I see he has only one rose, or no roses ... I just move on. I know many who do the same. To me it would not make sense to try to get the attention of someone who is already devoting their attention elsewhere

why is your profile name Roses for you?

here's a brilliant idea, try messaging them and asking.

POF, take the number off our profiles so people stop making snap judgments about it.

Some understand the meaning of them and others don't. Those of us who do understand the symbolism of the roses let it guide us as to whether or not to contact someone.
**One rose left ... that person is in close contact with someone else and probably would not be interested in getting an email from a stranger.
**No roses left ... that person is definitely involved, no need to contact them.