| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:32:20 AM | My last two relationships were both long distance because I met them online. I didn't met them on online dating sites like this. I met both of them playing xbox live.
I used to be embarrassed telling my friends about them, that I met them while playing a game online. Because, yes, we do get that look of, "woow..ok..." and then it changes suddenly to feigned understanding. Then there are the friends who express concern over the dangers of a LD relationship.
Eventually I just started telling myself that I know a hell of a lot more about my boyfriend than other girls did because of how much time we spent on talking, whether online or on the phone. When you're out on a date with someone you hardly know, there is not enough time or space for you two to really TALK. You are constantly distracted with what he is actually thinking, whether he thinks you look pretty, whether he is hansom, yaddi yadda.
So yah, sure it's somewhat embarrassing to tell people how you met your girlfriend--but just wait till they meet them and find out that she is a bombshell/great girl. That is how I got my little laugh... the friends who have met my previous boyfriends have all been, "You met such a great guy playing a game ONLINE?!?"
 So when you do meet that great girl, just take her out to meet the friends who look down on you for online dating and introduce them. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:35:10 AM | RE: First Post.
Well the people who generally say that are like slutty clubrats who meet their women while both are extremely intoxicated and gyrating on a dance floor. So I generally point that out to them if I get that look. I mean... I met my honey through the net or... I met my honey on the way to the bathroom to vom. My sounds infinitely better. That usually shuts them up. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:39:00 AM | I don't know why this stigma exists, but, I know it does, and that people worry about it.
I guess I would ask, where would you LIKE to say you met your significant other?
Now - go there and meet somebody.
I think it's important in life, to NOT do things that make you feel compromised. If you make a habit of it, then, it effects your self image and the way you treat others. So, do what makes you comfortable - and, stop looking for your true love on-line. It's a simple as that.
Smiles! | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:45:09 AM | For years the talk was never to hook up with someone you met in a bar. I still believe this is true. However, it may work for some. So to say that you met someone online and gets those funny looks is now taken over the so called I met them at the bar/club.
As in any situation, you have to be careful. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:05:15 AM | Yes me me me... people will think what they will... but I think how they respond has much to do with how you react to the question & how you present your answer... Your own true feelings will show in how you answer as much as, if not more than, the words you say... either way, they accept it as right for you or don't... how you feel about it should be all that matters...
cata | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:15:31 AM | | I see nothing wrong with meeting someone from online. Why are you ashamed or embarassed? You are an attractive man. Screw what others think. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:55:01 AM | The stigma exists and its real. You should care about what other think about you because it can change how others treat you, and while it might not bother your friends, what about co-workers and the like.
Internet dating is like dating people from the newspaper personals - people think craigslist not plentyoffish.
Just do yourself a favour and say that you met at a coffee shop. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:13:03 PM | me me me, You may attach anything that you want to whatever, but the mentality you have for associating anyone else's meeting the someone that they've longed to be w/ for longer than you can know for them via an on-line venue such as POF to what Jerry Springer and his show 'feed off of' for accidents waiting to escalate into worse scenarios is pure crap. Your life experiences, including any dates that you've gotten from the Internet, are not universal truths. There are tendencies, but these do not have to be the case in every case.
I'm not disagreeing that others, whom I've known before the Internet came along to improve global communications, cannot yet bring themselves to accept that I might just have met my dearest of friends and lovers by way of it, but should they 'hang in there' w/ me for my love of her, they'll come to learn why we are so very good together ...and perhaps give us their blessings for what works when you figure out how to use it right for finding and identifying a love worth the keeping. As for those so-called good friends of yours, are you so sure that they are, even if you didn't meet them to start via the Internet? In case you've not learned yet, even the closest of siblings just might 'play you' for what they think will win you over in their favor for their opting to do as they will for your parent's last will. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:17:04 PM | So, I see, lying is better than the truth. I got it now. And, if you're so embarrassed by the stigma of internet dating, don't do it. I guess I've just never cared about what other people think, so I suppose my point of view will always clash with people who are worried about what other's think. I just don't get that....
In any event, if you don't like internet dating, don't do it. It's that simple. No need to lie. To me lies are a lot worse. I'd rather have the truth any day. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:22:29 PM | i have to agree with Nancy (except on the attractive man part). 
WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK?
GET A GRIP AND GROW UP FOLKS!
If you are lucky enough to find happiness, what do you care about what others think about where you find it? Are people really that pathetically shallow and self-conscious?
Guess so. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:40:51 PM | | I would rather say I met a guy on the net nowadays as apposed to saying I met him in a bar...lol I did that back when I was 18 and 19....Besides there are so many people who meet this way now, it's not as big of a deal as it used to be...It's pretty common now as people get busier and don't have the time to go out meeting people..... | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:43:36 PM | One time an old friend came over and several of us were sitting around and his new wife was with him and i asked how they met and he smiled and said "in church" and after a long pregnant grinning pause admitted "in a bar".
Now that i think of it their marriage only lasted a few months though. I wonder if there are any empirical data out there about this sort of thing. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:58:50 PM | I have mixed emotions about Internet dating. On the one hand, it may just open doors that were unavailable to you before, ie., bars, ect. But, I'm learning you have to be very careful.
People can be anyone they want to be on these sites, and you hope for true honesty. I value honesty so much, that I really don't give a care what people think of me and my opinions. Sure, the internet free's one up to express things that might be a bit difficult to say in person, but overall, I will always opt for putting my heart out there, and hope that it won't get stomped on. :D | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:06:01 PM | Yeah, the bar chick, the one who probably does not have the drinking problem, who might have numerous kids with multiple potentially crazy exes, who may prove to be bipolar, would probably be a better choice, her and the 300 men she has done the same with over her 20 years of dating.
Wow, what bars have you people been hanging out in? I am by no means a bar star, but I certainly like to go out and watch a hockey game at the pub with my buddies over a nice big plate of wings and a bunch of beers. Does that mean I'm a terrible person and that I will never have a lasting relationship? Because I go to a bar?
Just because YOU don't like going to a bar, doesn't mean that EVERYONE who does is a terrible person who matches all the worst stereotypes of "bar people".
I find it incredibly hypocritical that a bunch of people are sitting here getting offended by negative stereotypes about online dating, yet they are falling prey to just as many stereotypes about other avenues of meeting people. Probably about half the posts in this thread so far have said something along the lines of "better than meeting them in a bar..."
As someone who is trying the online thing, but still has a life away from my computer, and goes out with friends occasionally, I can honestly say that I've met less crazy people in bars than online. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:11:21 PM | "I generally value their opinon, and its nice to have their support"
That's great and all but shouldn't they give the same back to you?
They should value your friendship and so on also.
If you meet a great lady here, then be proud of that, and expect them to show you some respect.
If someone is going to give you a bunch of crap (non good natured) about where you met someone are they really your friend? | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:11:46 PM | I think any major stigma over Internet dating has pretty much gone by the wayside over the past year or two. As some other people have said, Internet dating today is what bars had been for years.
The biggest issue I have these days is that I have female friends I met through Internet dating sites and it gets awkward to explain how we know each other, and that we're not dating (e.g. yes, we met through a dating site ... no we're not dating). | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:39:20 PM | | I found telling mates how i met my other half is not a problem but the older generation see it a different way. We decided to be honest and when her cousin asked how we met she said on the net, i replied "yeh ebay | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:29:14 PM | Pretty damned hard to embarrass me — I've given birth.
I used to meet all the freaks and geeks that I dated through friends and family — who clearly failed me and are therefore not in a position to judge my current methods.
They know better than to try. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:38:43 PM |
I don't know why this stigma exists, but, I know it does, and that people worry about it.
I guess I would ask, where would you LIKE to say you met your significant other?
Now - go there and meet somebody.
I think it's important in life, to NOT do things that make you feel compromised. If you make a habit of it, then, it effects your self image and the way you treat others. So, do what makes you comfortable - and, stop looking for your true love on-line. It's a simple as that.
Smiles!
Now that is sage advice. I could never have said it as eloquently. 
I work in constructionand told the elctricians on the site that i was signed up on here and had come here at the recomendation of a a girl I know from the job. I really didn't percieve any negativity from them nor did i feel the stigma is what is was five or even ten years ago.
I do support making safe intelligent choices in regards to first meetings and think short meets are prolly better than a real "date."
Bottom LINE; WTF diff does it make what they think it is what you think that matters!! | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:39:41 PM | How can internet dating be embarassing? It's not like y'all can see the spinach in my teeth.. can you? lol
These days computers are getting to be almost as common as TV's. They're an excellent networking tool, great way to make friends .. and I hear some people even find dates! 
A.S.is
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