| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:42:45 PM | | i'm not into the bar scene and have had bad experiences with alcoholics so i am not embarrassed by meeting people online..i feel a little odd maybe, as i am definitely not used to this approach, but hey i'd rather be here then in a bar!! | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:49:53 PM | OHHHHHHHH Try being 67 and telling people you met the man your dating on a site on the internet
. And going even futhur...how about family.and then if hes younger, they ask if your going though early alzheimers......well if I am dont give me a pill to make me better lol And then there is my daughter who threatens to have me committed. Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!! lol Be who you are unless there is someone out there making judgements who can guarantee your happiness. Now we all know thats not happening.
Love hard...Live long.............. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:03:06 PM | With the number of computer-owners climbing exponentially every year (cripes, even my brother finally has one), the divorce rate over 50%, and the sheer number of "E-Harmony vs Match.com vs (your ad here) ads all over the place.... how long can it be before we'll see Starbucks online dating centers, Walmart providing dating monitors on their shopping carts, and several cloned "reality" shows based on housefulls of twits all trying to get a computer date first? 
I met my ex on a site like this (not as good a site, but hell, it was the 90's)... hmm, and look how that turned out.... hmmmmm......
By jove, they're right! I'm tossing my 'puter in the alley and heading down to my nearest local crowded, smoke-filled, noisy, alcohol-pushin' MEAT MARKET (tm) today!
(this message brought to you by budwiser, trojan, and the national salted peanut assn)
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:19:37 PM | | My ex and I were together for 10 years, and met off the internet. I found no shame in telling people that is how we met. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:46:52 PM | OP -- skimmed through this. Short answer:
I suggested to my son to go on-line. He did. He's a long-time stockbroker. She's a veterinarian.
They married this past in November in Hawaii. Neither of them are embarrassed ... and they're now building a new 5-bedroom home!!! (I'm thinkin' GRANDCHILDREN!!!) | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:59:04 PM |
Well the people who generally say that are like slutty clubrats who meet their women while both are extremely intoxicated and gyrating on a dance floor.
Or they're like.....my mom. Heh.
For many years, she was totally against meeting "those people" on the internet. She had it in her head that "those people" were nothing but creeps, scammers, and crudbums. Unfortunately, my former spouse only added "cred" to her view. No amount of explaining that I could just as easily meet creeps, scammers and crudbums at the grocery store, at a bar, or even at church, swayed her. It took a very long time for her to see that there are normal people on the internet (the friendships I've developed over the years helped - as well as reminders that *I* am one of those "internet people"). Little by little, she's seeing that internet dating has its advantages, especially for someone like me - a working single parent whose daily activities don't take her places to meet new people very often.
Internet "dating" (meeting really, since dating actually occurs IRL) gives us the opportunity to come across people whose paths we wouldn't normally cross in everyday life. That's how I explain it to people who give me "that look."
I did meet someone from here on PoF, and I feel very lucky to have met him.  Some of the doubters in my life have seen how happy I am, and it seems as if their opinions about the "scariness" of meeting someone online are changing. Good. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:37:49 AM | | The internet gives the illusion of intimacy...otherwise we'd just pick up the phone and call the folks we're interested in and have a real conversation! It's easier to flirt online :) | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:37:56 AM | | It's 2008, i think it's ok to admit you've met people off the Internet in this day and age, the only people who would take the pi$$ are the ones too stupid to switch on a PC and if they did take the mick i'd be all over their a$$ about living in the 40's! | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:58:30 AM | Things change.
I met my first two girlfriends at high school. Both lasted about two years.
I met my third girlfriend at a big drive-in (think American Graffiti drive ins). I also met my 1st wife at the same place (married 16 years).
I met the girlfriend after my 1st marriage through an ad she had in the newspaper (like these profiles).
A gal that knew us both got me and my 2nd wife together (20 years).
Things change.
Ten years ago I would have never thought the USA would be headed for 3rd world status ..... like it is now.
Things change. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:08:55 AM | I certainly don't want to date anyone I work with, I dont go to bars, Church is OUT, and so I choose the internet. I met a wonderful man on POF.(Lord knows I've met a few weird ones,too) and those who criticize.. are usually the ones who are too scared to step outside their comfort zone to try ANYTHING new. Who CARES where you met, as long as you're happy?  
Yes, the internet is full of crazies... but so is the real world. Just have to use common sense when and where you meet. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:16:45 AM | I dont think meeting people online is any different than meeting them anywhere else. Its a great way to find out something about the people you meet (read: weeding out) before you go to the effort of a date, especially for those of us who dont do the bar scene and there are few people who like getting "set up" by friends/family, which rarely works. Theres nothing whatsoever to be embarassed about. Just carry on doing what youre doing...tell them at least youre GETTING dates (Im assuming they are single as well) lol
(off subject...way off) Bene elim: Holy man, you just may be the most beautiful man (albeit young) that Ive ever laid eyes on. Just thought Id throw that out there  If my daughter werent taken Id be introducing you, youd be the brunette barbie and ken couple...england or no england lol | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:28:07 AM |
Even with the Internet being used as a communication too, well, a dating tool, I would still personally feel ashamed/embarassed to go around telling regular every day people how I met my potential significant other.
Obviously, it's your choice what to tell people about how you met someone, but.. well not a BUT really.. still though.. I do wonder if you know WHY it would embarrass you to tell people this?
I guess what I'm saying is that after all this time, with the Internet being a staple of people's lives for at least 10 years now, there is still that Jerry Springer stigma attached to online dating.
I've never encountered this attitude from anyone myself, so that may color what I'm about to say, but I really think those days are long gone. The stigma seems to have left the building.
How do you some of you deal with this issue?
I guess I don't deal with it at all. Like you said.. there are many of us who don't much care what people think.
I guess as far as your thoughts and post is concerned, I'm just super curious as to why you are embarrassed to tell people you met someone off the internets.
Today's internet is yesterday's bar scene.
Completely agree with this. Plus.. it's better in a sense.. no drunkenness to deal with clouding our choices.
Not everyone, but the people I surround myself with, I generally value their opinon, and its nice to have their support.
I'd like to suggest, if I may, that the people you care about.. who's opinions SHOULD matter, but NOT control your actions should be supporting you no matter what. I mean seriously, you'd have to do something really awful to lose that support, in my opinion. Online dating isn't "really awful".
It isn't really anything other than yet another avenue to meet people. | |
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 64 | |
| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:34:53 AM | | If you are embarrassed about telling someone you met your match on the "internets" (I'd personally be more embarrassed about using made up words), then you shouldn't be on here looking for someone. Problem solved. Either that, or find friends who aren't still living in the stone age. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 8:58:03 AM | (i) I hate statistics because they can be manipulated in many different ways to prove completely opposite theses. Its like the bikini, shows a lot, but hides the real parts :-)
But here is one you all might want to look at:
http://tinyurl.com/28u8zy
From that article, here is the key:
The question now becomes what happens next. Well, according to Sex in America: A Definitive Survey, 63% of married couples met through a network of friends.
This may still be an understatement. I'd venture that over a 90% of married people living in the US were married thru a social network (school, college, church, community etc). All of them, 100%, from the forties to the nineties would have married thru a social network. Internet dating is nascent, really a product of the twenty first century and we still only see onesie-twosies that we can speak of from our personal lives that culminated in marriage.
So a partner discovered on the internet is still man biting dog news.
(ii) Internet daters themselves give internet dating a bad name. The number of stories expounding on the horrors of internet dating far far over weigh the success stories. POF forums are flush with such stories. Non-internet flocks are more cognizant of the the horrors than the successes.
(iii) Technology has not advanced to such a level where misrepresentations (of profiles), miscommunication are diminished if not completely eliminated. Social engagements are far more difficult to emulate on line as opposed to say gaming environments. Gross mismatches are rampant which are less likely in a social network.
Given these, internet dating has become difficult to be accepted or even fashionable. Of course there are other factors that make internet dating very attractive to people like us. Time, energy, expenses, wider network etc being some of them. I believe, internet daters must be less concerned about embarrassment than adopting a proactive role in diffusing the benefits of the medium. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:04:57 AM | | Maybe I'm a freak but I directed my mom here to see some of the discussions. She got over my "online dating thing" 5 years ago. Now she's just curious and has lost that judgmental streak because she finally knows someone that does it. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:16:09 AM | The "traditional" way was for parents, relatives and other stakeholders to arrange the
mating of the young -- because people could not be trusted to choose wisely.
This went on for about a million years before the Internet -- meeting in bars is not at all "traditional" -- it was actually illegal in many jurisdictions for a single woman to even enter a pub or bar where drinking was permitted not all that long ago. And well into the 1960's it was frowned upon in the social circles of the day much more so than so-called "web-dating" is today.
-Thee grande olde over the centuries perspective. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:17:45 AM | | There is nothing wrong with doing it this way. My friend met someone through the internet. He wasn't interested in her but introduced her to another friend of mine. They are both now happily married and a marriage that I think will definitely last. My friend would not be married now if it hadn't been for the internet. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:19:38 AM |
Even with the Internet being used as a communication too, well, a dating tool, I would still personally feel ashamed/embarassed to go around telling regular every day people how I met my potential significant other.
10 years ago it would've been embarassing. The way i see it, the internet has been woven into the fabric of everyday life that it'd be more embarassing to not own a computer at all or have never used one at all to do anything. Including dating. The future is already here.
At this point, anyone who would point fingers and chuckle at those who date on the net are just simply 'behind the times' and should get a late pass.
I've met girls from online, and they just give you this look where you think to yourself "why did I even say anything at all" lol. You know that look -its the look that you says "you are one sad little monkey".
If i did meet someone on the net, i wouldn't hide it at all nor be embarassed of what others might think. It's either you're out to please everyone else's expectations of 'you' and be kept in a little box where they want you to be, or you're simply out to get yours like "yeah... what? you got a problem with it?"
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:21:55 AM | I was unaware there was a stigma anymore!
Maybe 10 years ago it was kind of odd to say you met on the internet but not now. it's so common. You can really find out more about a person this way then the old fashioned ways. I have met some crazies in real life and via friends and some nice people I am still friends with years later from online. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:23:22 AM | I am a professional and have to execute a pretty conservative persona, however, people know I am very laid back even in my suit. Anyone who mentions or asks how I meet a person that I am talking about or with, I usually tell them unless it puts the person I know in an uncomfortable situation. The best way to be a self-actualized person and remain grounded is to be what I am and learn from what I do. If I felt embarassed or uncomfortable about something I would not do it. If other people looked down on me for doing whatever and I have no problem and see benefits about doing something and see no harm I don't really care. Maybe I can enlighten this person a little. Using this philosphy to live my life is the only way I can discover the reasons I do things and decisions I make to make the most out of this short life I live.
I come from a respectable family. My conservative sister-in-laws and strict brother,when was 18, didn't think girls should go out when it gets dark know I am dating and probably online because he sent his wife from LA to see what was up with his siblings for a month during the holidays. They have been married for 20 years, through some teasing and coercing she told one of my sisters and I that the only person she has ever had sex with was my brother. She comes from a Catholic family too and even has a sister that is a nun. Everyone in my family knows and they all have different personalities-I have 6 brothers and 3 sisters, for the exception of my parents of course because they don't need to know my business but that I am doing okay. My close friends. My acquaintances. I don't usually offer information but when confronted with a question I always answer honestly, especially about something so trivial as your question.
Bottomline: Don't do things that you feel bad about. I actually am impressed with the technology from the yester-years. I remember being in school and needing a break from my studies and trying to reach out to other cities and the "You Got Mail" days. And, even before then with blogging was not a household name. I actually have been using computers for abot 20 years. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:28:58 AM | Seven years ago I fell for a guy online and he picked me up here and we drove across the border for me to spend a week with him in Washington.
While all of the usual questions about "do you have a job" and "how are you getting home" were answered, the US border guards were so put off by our obvious giddiness that they practically rushed us through (they didn't know how to react to us). We looked at each other and laughed at every question! I think we answered one or two with a mutual shrug.
That was then.
Me 'n him today? Same circumstances, different year? They'd have ripped off the door panels to see if I had "moose piss" I was smuggling.
It's almost TOO mainstream. | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:31:09 AM | Embarrassed about meeting someone on the internet?......well, K- Fed and Britney met each other off-line and in person.......wonder how that's working out for them?
(I'm not making light of their kid's predicament though)...very sad actually | |
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| The embarassment that is the Internet
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:37:47 PM | I will admit that at first I don't like to tell people that I'm looking for someone on the internet. But then I think to myself, what does it really matter. I mean honestly, if I meet "Mr. Right" does it really matter how. I look at the internet as I look at a friend "matching" me up. They used to have match makers in Europe and Russia, so why does it matter if we use the internet as our present day match maker?
When you live in a small town, there are not many single people, or ones that you are interested in. I use the internet to meet new people and make new friends. Do I think that I can find my soul mate on the internet....possibly. Do I think that I can make friends on the internet....yes. And whether it is those friends who I develop something with, or possibly with one of their friends one can never tell. I just get on this site, and be honest to myself, and to those that I talk to and see where it goes.
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