| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 12:21:52 PM |
This has happend to me with a "Christian" woman and the outcome was that she left me sitting the restaurant. Yes, she got up in the middle of the dinner and walked out. I'm not saying that you would do this, but it has happened to me.
I would say you have plenty of reason to smile then  Obviously jesus wants you for a sunbeam, or he would have landed you with a Christian (sorry, couldn't resist it) | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:13:36 PM | | I'm not afraid of them, I just don't want to have to make lifestyle changes for one (church, prayer, etc.). I'm a little uncomfortable around some of the more enthusiastic types. I ate lunch with a girl at Subway once and she prayed before eating. I respect that and all but we were at a fast food place, not a formal dinner. If you try to argue with them about the birth of the universe or something, they always put God wherever I can't really explain something, as if I'm supposed to know exactly how the universe was formed (frankly I don't care how) and if I don't, then of course God is the only possible answer. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 2:18:45 PM | I wouldn't run, but Id certainly walk away.
Do you even want a realtionship with say an atheist or agnostic etc? Or would you spend half the time trying to drag him along to church?
I doubt fellow christians would be put off buy it, and they would be a far more compatable match for you by the sounds of things. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:15:29 PM | I can not answer for all men so I will answer for me.
If a woman is any religion to the point where it blinds them and makes them believe my religion is the true religion and everything else is false then they will not get along with me well. I question everything, I am naturally curious and I love a good debate. I also believe in seeing an issue from all sides not just one. This tends to be against the rules for most of your organized religions.
Whether it be Christianity, Judaism, Islam, etc they all have similar things at their base and I agree with those things. I just don't agree with the man made add on rules that most religions add to keep people obedient. That is my view.
To answer your question, I pose a question. Do you think my views would mesh with yours? Bottom line is that people will assume the worst until it is proven otherwise. The hyper religious types have a bad stereotype and you might be falling into that stereotype with your behaviors. It is really a bad thing? I would think you would want someone in the ballpark to your beliefs. Looks to be a good litmus test to me.
Just my 2 cents. | |
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16f84a
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Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:27:29 PM | YEP! I am. Not because of morality though. There are plenty of immoral Christians out there who disgust me, and moral non Christians . There was one lady here, that told me I was incapable of having morals by virtue of not being Christian. Ridiculous. I like seeing and sampling or learning about other perspectives, but not being ridiculed and embarrassed by it.
Some religions frighten me more than others. Evangelicals and Pentecostals are too much for me, I have been the meetings. It seems more typical for me to get along with the non religious types, Buddhists, wicans, Jewish, even baptist or protestant or Hindu. I'm not certain the fine distinguishing lines between them all, that just seems the be the trend.
Border line religions include catholic and johavas witnesses.. but that depends on how much guilt the person retains. I think religion has the power to give everything to a person that religion warns people about. Some folks act like the relationship is less about getting along in harmony than saving some other persons soul. That sort of blindness scares the crap out of me.
So really its my observation that certain believers or believers of certain types and I just dont mix. It might not be all out shear terror, but there is a caution sign there in the inside of my brain. Everything depends on the person though, and how the relationship works.
Except for evangelical. I have an irrational fear of them or maybe its rational. Did anyone watch the documentary called Jesus camp? That and I have never had a good experience with one to my knowledge yet, but a whole lot of bad ones. Hm. This has been sort of introspective for me.
I would think that those who are cautious about certain religions probably have some reason. Anyways, if someone cant handle your religion, you're probably not meant for them any ways. I don't know. why did I respond to this? | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:56:34 PM |
But one thing that always got me... is that most Christians I know worship Jesus, and praise him for everything...
But... er... doesn't their bible tell them to worship GOD... and not just the SON OF god?
Do I need to explain the Trinity to you? | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 3:57:54 PM | depends on the type of Christian I guess.
follows the basic gospel of Christ and isn't too aggressive about it, not that much of a problem most likely.
believes in Creationism and church in government, major issue.
I work at a lot of Christian events. some are huge evangelical concerts which on the whole are fairly innocuous with some not so good music. however I will say that they treat the non-Christians with a certain callousness that is hard to take. for instance, they feed their people but never feed the hired crews, even though the gigs are miles from any available food sources. they also work us 18 to 20 hours a day with no relief, often for many days in a row while they break their own people regularly.
however, I also work for some black churches and choirs out of north Philly and they not only are some of the most gifted musicians I have ever met, with some of the most scintillating music, but they feed the hell out of us.
as far as dating goes though, like most things, I think it probably really depends on who you are individually and trying to make sweeping generalizations about religious groups is unrewarding and probably inaccurate. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:31:49 PM | OP, I've read the two threads with similar theme: 'I'm Christian..will this be a problem', (I'm paraphrasing)...
Where is all the anger coming from..my goodness! Not the OP's, but the posters are throwing serious punches...
To me, a Christian is one who has good moral fiber and high ethics code. Thats what I mean when I responded CHRISTIAN.
After reading these two threads, I now have my answer to PREFER NOT TO SAY | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:33:30 PM | About listening to christian music, I think it's classified as torture by the Geneva Convention.
not all christian music is all about loving jesus in such an over the top lovey dovey gooey gag me style.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkEfnPndEnI
those guys are christian, almost all their songs are about their faith. theyre called Underoath.
but back to the topic,
I have christian morals and values and I love Jesus.
you have already said too much. this is the day and age where religion is on its way out, and hopefully for good.
more and more couples are living perfectly fine without having a fancy wedding in a church, and see no reason for a marriage "under gods eyes", aka common law.
i believe that this is due to the fact that my generation, and the generation after me, are not brought to church on a regular basis (thank god).
~~~~~~~~WARNING: THIS IS AN OPINION, BE OFFENDED AT YOUR OWN RISK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
religion has no use anymore. it was a crutch used by people of weak minds back in the old days to give them a reason for life, and to continue living. it was something used to explain the extraordinary, and simple minds ate it up.
take for example the movie Jesus Camp. now, i havent seen the entire thing, infact, i didnt want to see it. but i watched 3 of the 9 clips on youtube, and am really disturbed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWjUBetFZl0
and then, you have religious people like this (warning: this clip contains offensive words as seen on 20/20):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Anwsku-9IiY
and to that last clip, i say "thank god" im not religious. thank that fictional character in the sky, i had the emotional stability not to need this crutch we call 'faith'.
this is probably the main reason when anyone starts talking about their savior jesus, i just turn and walk away.
ps: in the last clip, watch the kid not even able to explain what he is preaching. im sure 90% of religious people do this.
pps: just some more youtube fodder, a bbc interview on this insane family:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O228AQRvcqQ | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:38:37 PM |
not all christian music is all about loving jesus in such an over the top lovey dovey gooey gag me style.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkEfnPndEnI
those guys are christian, almost all their songs are about their faith. theyre called Underoath.
I know. I work Purple Door which is two days of non-stop Xtian rage rock and emo.
believe me, I know about the non-lovey dovey side. two days of that and you are ready to slit your wrists. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:40:13 PM | why is it that, so frequently, when a woman gets rejected, she comes onto the forums wondering if something in her character or intellect or lifestyle made the guy 'afraid' or 'scared him off?'
sometimes the guy just isn't that into you. you can claim he rejects your beliefs. you can claim you intimidated him.
but, in the end, you just don't have what he wants. and he has that right. just as you have the right to reject someone who doesn't do it for you.
we can take the high moral road, pat you on the back and say, 'oh, yes...how you must suffer for your beliefs.' but, that isn't the truth, is it?
have you ever rejected someone for reasons besides their religion? some incompatibility? or you just don't find them attractive? we all have.
and, in the end, it's ok. but let's call it what it is. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:47:00 PM |
two days of that and you are ready to slit your wrists.
i actually enjoy it, but thats probably just my generation. then again, i enjoy jimi hendrix, led zeppelin and lynyrd skynyrd as well, so who knows.
edit: actually reading the whole thread now, and i just found it too hard not to reply to this:
You are still one up on the preachers sleeping with underage alter boys (catholics).
i think these two clips will respond on my behalf:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6rSjrBhUIA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_dQ5KJ8rgA | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:02:55 PM |
To me, a Christian is one who has good moral fiber and high ethics code. Thats what I mean when I responded CHRISTIAN.
Christianity isn't the only religion such expects high standards of morality.... which part of Christianity makes most people uncomfortable, the morality, or Jesus? I know some people on this topic complain about Christians acting like they are 'holier than thee' or something like that... I can certainly understand people with that kind of attitude would make people very uncomfortable.
I am a Christian but I don't like people who act like that... because the whole point of the religion is that we fall short of what God demands of us and he gave us Jesus as our savior. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:08:19 PM |
Why do some men run when I tell them I'm a christian.
Because I greatly question a person's mental health if they believe and base life choices on what would (insert diety here) do. I think religion is legalized brain washing and prevents free thought and change. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:18:05 PM | No. They don't scare us. They annoy us.
You say you're "Christian", which could mean a hell of a lot of things. I know Christians who are awesome to go out with. They have their beliefs, but they're not dogmatic about it.
But in general when someone says they're "Christian" I assume they're judgemental. I assume they're moralistic (which is not the same as having strong values). Most particularly I certainly don't assume they're going to be fun, easy going, and sensual.
I'm looking for a real relationship, and an adult one, between two equals.
To the O.P. I would have to ask: Would you have sex before marriage? If so, why? What morals are those? Pretty much the ones you decided for yourself are right? And if you would have sex before marriage, how long before? How many dates? 2? 3? 6? 6 months?
Is that actually morality, or is it just some arbitrary waiting period for no good reason?
I have my own morals. The ones in the bible are a little to evil even for me. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:21:54 PM | Church is a good place to find you a mate, my best friend is a catholic, we get along very well. She joined the youth group and found her a great boyfriend.
I like Christians, not all of them are judgemental, that's people who are judgemental. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:27:53 PM | | If you are a Christian why would you want a man who isn't a Christian also? That would be asking for a tension in the relationship that would probably set you up for disappointment after the honeymoon phase is over. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:31:19 PM | The moment one of these guys (who run from Christian women) here's that someone is a christian, they immediately see them as one of those "crazies", and therefore to be avoided. In any case, your profile already says you're Christian. Are you the one doing initiating communications or are they? If it was them that sent the the first message they should already know your religious perspective, and even if you sent the first message, they'd be able to check your profile before responding anyway.
While I would not necessarily run from a christian woman (I was engaged to one once), the problem I have with the religious types is their claim that they have the monopoly on morality and ethical life. If you don't believe in god or follow *their* rules, then you get no wonderful afterlife, and all that.
You do not have to believe in 'god' to be an honest, kind, generous and caring person who lives an ethical life with good morals.
Everyone has rules on how they conduct themselves in society. Some people are kind or generous because that is the rules they have set for themselves. Religion imposes rules on how an individual conducts their life, and gives them a "creation" story to explain the existence of the world and what happens after they die. If they voluntarily accept the rules of that religion, that is fine, but when they try to impose those rules on others is where problems occur.
The people running from christians probably have had bad experiences. Myself, I haven't really had that many issues. Over 10 years ago I was in Toronto waiting for the bus. A couple was also there and the woman came over to me and started asking me questions about whether I believe in god or not. I answered vaguely and displayed an attitude (wasn't rude or anything) that I wasn't particularly interested. After realizing I wouldn't really be receptive, she went away. Those christians are fine, and you sound like you'd be similar.
I have family and friends that are practicing christians, and in the case of one friend has gone to college to become a minister.
In any case, as has been mentioned, wouldn't you want to meet a christian man with similar values, who can do the activities you like/want to do such as go to church, and maybe listen to christian music? In any case, if you do pursue someone with non-christian beliefs just downplay how important your religion is to you. Just say you are christian but it doesn't run your life and will not affect how you act in a relationship. If you're unwilling to downplay your religion as just one small element of your self, you should just limit your search to other christians. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 5:38:26 PM | y'know what's weird? i have many clients from the mennonite community and these women have no problem attracting men. they seem to have good, solid marriages to men who care a great deal about them.
so, maybe if you seek out men who have the same beliefs you'd have better luck. of course, you could still experience rejection. in which case, you may wish to look at other features and characteristics of your 'self' and what you bring to the table. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:47:25 PM | | Wow, I didn't expect this many responses, especially in one day. Thanks to everyone that participated. I am a christian women and yes I have been rejected a few times for it, but mostly I wrote this forum because I know how touchy of a subject religion is and I was curious to see how people would respond to my situation. I knew I needed to respond a few times to keep the forum going. I appricated everyones advice and criticism. Thanks again. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:54:25 PM | | You think it's hard telling someone you're Christian? Try telling them you're atheist and watch them run so fast they leave contrails. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 6:57:26 PM | True, that's why it's better not to mention one's own religion.
Doesn't matter you have one or not, you can' t make everyone happy. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:17:30 PM |
Try telling them you're atheist and watch them run so fast they leave contrails.
call it stupid, but in my opinion atheism is a religion in itself. my definition of religion is anything that has a belief, and a group of people following that belief. atheists believe there is no god, and theres a lot of them who believe that. therefore, religion itself.
if you dont believe in god, i dont see a need to label it.
im nothing. i dont believe in anything aside from karma and honor. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:29:15 PM | I have found that most people assume that Christians are exactly as you stated in your opening post:
1) that you only listen to christian music
2) that you sit home all night and read the bible
3) that you are a pushy Christian and would try to change someone else's beliefs
Don't worry about it because as someone else pointed out... aren't you glad that with simply stating that you are Christian you are weeding out all those people that would not make good partners for you??
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