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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:48:18 PM | Both to OptimismVsRealism
oh, the hypocrisy, its blinding.
sorry, i couldnt help it.
At a glance my statement ("I assume christians will be judgemental.") seems hypocritical, but I don't actually think it is. I don't JUDGE them on it. I just assume. The judgementalism I'm referring to is a moral judgement, and continual, whereas my assumptions could be changed with knowledge, judgementalism is permanant, and constant.
Also.. possibly I'm just a hypocrit. I can live with that. :D
call it stupid, but in my opinion atheism is a religion in itself. my definition of religion is anything that has a belief, and a group of people following that belief. atheists believe there is no god, and theres a lot of them who believe that. therefore, religion itself.
A common opinion, but not true.
For a start, your definition is simply... wrong. To be a religion (by most definitions) requires belief in a higher power and associated rituals.
If I say I worship Orange Leprechauns, and you say there's no such thing as orange leprechauns, that doesn't make you part of the "not believing in orange leprechauns" religion. That doesn't change whether 1 or 1 billion people worship the leprechauns. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:05:22 AM | How does not wanting to date you equate to being afraid of you? What a ridiculous assumption.
If you are a "true" and "good" Christian, then you believe that someone who does not accept Jesus in their hearts as their Lord and Savior will go to hell.
That's something fairly heavy and caustic to have "between" a couple, don't you think? Why would you want to have a relationship with someone who does not share your "Christian" morals, and who is going to burn in hell? If you really really love them, aren't you at some point going to NOT want them to burn in hell, and try to figure out a way to talk them into The Way that they can avoid it? If you don't do that, given your beliefs...do you really love them? Or do you not really believe?
I'm with Magnanimous One - why wouldn't you just save yourself the trouble, and find a nice compatible Christian man? It's not like they're scarce in Michigan...I used to live there. Christianity is allegedly the largest religion in the world, so that's gotta be a pretty big pond to fish in.
I mean...what is it about non-Christian men that you find attractive? | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:21:47 AM | | I think this is a very charged subject. I have a question for you. Do you mind being with a non-Christian? I mean suppose it got serious, then you would just get heart-ache. Most guys would assume that you wouldn't fit with them and vice versa, because you're an Evangelical Christian and they may be somewhat liberal, Catholic or Lutherans or agnostic. Why do you care if they are not interested? Generally, a person who is very religious won't have much in common with someone who is not. That's what people think. I think some people have been harsh in their responses. I think there are some great Christians out there of various denominations. I have met some great Christian girls out there. I am just not sure how I would fit in their world and vice versa if they are very religious, and I am not. I would also be hesitant based on experience with someone who is extremely New Age, hippy like. That would be a problem, too, for me. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:24:51 AM | For a start, your definition is simply... wrong.
its a good thing its my definition/opinion, and not something im trying to pass off as a fact, now isnt it?  
assumptions and judgements are basically the same thing, when it comes to what were all talking about in this thread. whether you assume shes a bible thumper because shes christian, or judge her to be a bible thumper, its the same end no matter what the means.
judgements and assumptions can both change with knowledge.
as for religions, they do need a following. if it doesnt have a following, its just 1 crack pot running around making statements. if it has a following, its 1 crack pot running around making statements, with a congregation to eat it up and believe those statements. so it does matter if its 1 or 1 billion. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:35:10 AM | | I've seen a lot of profiles of Christian men who only want Christian women. If you are fully into your religion, then you might have better luck on a Christian dating site. | |
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| Are men afraid of Christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:00:13 AM | OP: Maybe it's not that you're a Christian, maybe there are factors about you they are not attracted to, just as there are attributes and physical traits you don't find attractive in some men.
As to this holier-than-thou debate (Christians vs. non-Christan's), I'll also say that my personal experiences with Christians haven't been favorable when I mention I am not. I have no problem with any woman I am dating who is of any faith, as long as she doesn't expect me to adhere to her beliefs, rituals and perceptions ... which, unfortunately, rarely occurs. As has been said, it's a matter of expecting me to change my life and embrace what she perceives as the one and only way of life. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:14:10 AM | Nice to see so many people staying on topic.
I think maybe you should target the people that state they are Christian in their profiles. Anyone that isn't, don't waste your time on them.
Like one of the other posters said, you can find varying depths of faith. If someone doesn't want to discuss what is important to you (and hopefully them), then they're not worth your time. The sooner you can find out that you have basic core beliefs in common the better.
Best of luck. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:58:21 AM | Mobil, I'm not afraid of Christian women, but have learned the hard way ...and repeatedly, that I don't know what any mean in their particular claims or beliefs. My ex made her vows before God, and then violated the quintessential morality for these ...and I'm not referring to her cheating on me, but rather her later swearing before a judge (and God) that I was raging drunk when I was actually stone cold sober and in good care of our infant child. Besides have me falsely arrested, she bore false witness as part of the paid-by-her-parents' plan for her (them) to have sole custody of him. Too bad that her greed will catch up w/ her ...as I managed to remove all the documents before being served. These and a certified letter she later sent me, 'fly-in-the-face' of her claims ...and proves perjury.
A supposedly-devout "Christian" woman, whom I dated for a time since, proved extremely hypocritical ...and an outright liar for what her profile on another dating website stated. While her 'leash was longer for sex' than any woman I'd known before, she 'recoiled' and went astray w/ another man soon after I asked her to marry me. Convenient sex is all she wanted of us. Her far more mature 15 y/o daughter moved back to MS w/ her father ...Husband #3, who I came to pity because she 'used him up' while abusing a good religion.
As one 'lil fishie from here can testify, I'm not running from her once-dearer Baptist beliefs, but then she's not pushing these in my face ...nor does she act as if she's in charge of what we will do together ...besides be judge of who I am. I'm a Christian man who's not here to judge others either, but rather determine if she's a good fit for me besides be good to me. I'm not saying that a good Christian woman is like the Easter Bunny, and that she doesn't exist, but that there's more to life than what comes w/ the too-popularly-sold-to-the-masses for the lifestyle associated w/ Christianity nowadays. BTW and statistically, the most common items shoplifted are Bibles. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 8:47:53 AM | | Saying you have morals is easy. The cold hard fact is that Christians don't act more morally than anyone else. It's simply a badge you put on to make yourself feel better than other people. You're not, honey. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 8:50:29 AM |
i think these two clips will respond on my behalf:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6rSjrBhUIA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_dQ5KJ8rgA
Who is this guy? I never heard of him. Ok, so he bought meth from a gay person. Did he sleep with the gay person? If he did... oh well, was that person of age?
Still raping a child that is 9-13 years old is a little worse than buying drugs from a gay person. ok.. ok.. ALOT WORSE! | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 9:21:26 AM | Afraid? No.
Tired of being asked to change? YES!
But it's not your fault. You have been programmed to think that you're somehow going to wind up in the awful pits of hell if you don't raise your kids as Christian. All three major religions do this, so you're not alone. My parents still believe this (and yes I do think its drastically ridiculous but to each their own).
For a man who is not religious and has no animosity towards the religious, this is a lose/lose proposition. Perhaps this is not your experience, but it definitely is mine. Every religious person I meet (regardless of which religion they belong to) starts questioning my beliefs, which is of course, fine. But when I feel like I'm being preached to, it turns me off immensely. There are exceptions to great Christian men and women who do not preach and lead by example and example alone. But the exceptions are far and few between.
I certainly don't want to change you and you definitely will not change me. So the only way we can date is if you don't have an agenda. In other words, you are not looking for the one and can share intimacy fully knowing that the relationship may not go anywhere. If you're open to that, I don't see why an honest man will have a problem with your beliefs.
Peace. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 9:35:27 AM |
call it stupid, but in my opinion atheism is a religion in itself. my definition of religion is anything that has a belief, and a group of people following that belief. atheists believe there is no god, and theres a lot of them who believe that. therefore, religion itself.
if you dont believe in god, i dont see a need to label it.
im nothing. i dont believe in anything aside from karma and honor.
There was the beginnings of a discussion related to this on the Thom Hartmann radio show last week. His thought came across as that religion was when a group feels the need to proselytize their beliefs. He went on to claim that Atheism was a religion while being agnostic wasn't. Then someone called in and they seemed to clarify that you can proselytize Agnosticism as well.
So, just watch that you don't start proselytizing "Nothingism" or you just might find yourself in a religion.
I am (and I suspect most others living in secular nations also are) comfortable with most anyone's beliefs as long as that person doesn't feel the need to proselytize them. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:23:44 PM | I think its important to point out that there are many varieties of Christians.
while I have a major issue with the likes of the Rev. Dobson and his church's efforts to add religion to government, the Quakers have existed quietly for years with their more secular neighbors and have had no such designs.
I think most people in here are thinking of evangelical christians and their politically active views. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 1:19:58 PM | many good points have already been made so i wont reiterate ,
to answer the Original question, i agree with that magnanimous dude. if they run away they're obviously not for you. as for "why" everyones got their own reasons ,most if not all were pointed out here already.
as far as organized religions and followers in general...most people,even devout ones just follow whatever religion their parents taught them...personally i think its lazy and a non-choice ,just sticking with the "default" no thinking required...
as far as christianity, well, i was raised irish catholic, it didnt stick, i couldnt date someone who earnestly followed any christian belief,its a real turn-off...non-practicing may be ok.
putting aside all the atrocities that were committed throughout history by "christians",putting aside the fact that our murdering war-mongering nazi false president george w bush is a christian,
i just feel the entire faith is based on fiction. felt this way since catholic summer camp...
really not meant to offend anyone, and it certainly doesnt mean you're a bad/evil person necessarily for believing what you do, my folks still go to church and i even performed with their choir once,
i'd highly recommend anyone with an open and logical mind watch Zeitgeist.
theres not much new info in this film but was bundled well.... also look through the SOURCE LIST for materials and research that backs up everything in it.
zeitgeistmovie DOT com
http://zeitgeistmovie.com
Massey, Gerald - The Historic Jesus and the Mythical Christ, The Book Tree
Carpenter, Edward: Pagan and Christian Creeds: Their Origin and Meaning Book Tree, 1998
Acharya S - The Christ Conspiracy, Adventures Unlimited Press
Massey, Gerald - Ancient Egypt: Light of the World, Kessinger Publishing
Churchward, Albert -The Origin and Evolution of Religion, The Book Tree
Acharya S - Suns of God, Adventures Unlimited Press
Murdock, D.M. - Who was Jesus?, Steller House Publishing
Allegro, John - The Dead Sea Scrolls and the Christian Myth, Prometheus Books
Frazer, Sir James: The Golden Bough, Touchstone Pub., 1890
Maxwell, Tice, Snow - That Old Time Religion, The Book Tree
Rolleston, Frances: Mazzaroth, Rivingtons, Waterloo Place, 1862
Cumont, Franz: Astrology and Religion Among the Greeks and Romans Cosimo Classics 1912
King James Version, The Holy Bible, Holman
Fideler, David: Jesus Christ, Sun of God Quest Books, 1993
Berry, Gerald: Religions Of The World, Barnes & Noble Pub., 1965
Leedom, Tim C - The Book Your Church Doesn't Want You To Read, TS Books
Paine, Thomas - The Age of Reason
Wheless, Joseph: Forgery in Christianity: A Documented Record of the Foundations of the Christian Religion 1930
Remsburg, John E. - The Christ: A Critical Review and Analysis of the Evidence of His Existence, Prometheus Books
Massey, Gerald - Egyptian Book of the Dead and the Mysteries of Amenta, Kessinger Publishing
Irvin, Jan & Rutajit, Andrew - Astrotheology and Shamanism, The Book Tree
Doherty, Earl - The Jesus Puzzle: Did Christianity Begin with a Mythical Christ?, Age of Reason Pub.
Campbell, Joseph - Creative Mythology: The Masks of God, Penguin
Doane, T.W. - Bible Myths and Their Parallels in Other Religions, Health Research
Maxwell, Jordan: The Light of World (Film Series) IRES
Singh, Madanjeet: The Sun- Symbol of Power and Life, UNESCO, 1993
The Naked Truth (Film) IRES
Jackson, John G. : Christianity Before Christ, American Atheist Press, 1985 | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 2:04:04 PM | Personally, I think you have to discuss your Christian faith. I dated a good Christian girl, where her and I had a fundemental difference in our beliefs. It turned out I had a real objection to baptising a new born. I think religious differences are a key reason to end a relationship.
I think if a person pushes religion or politics over board early on it would be a solid indicator that they are not ready for a relationship or intend on using those to "ground" a person.
I want a girl that can offer me a reason to be with her other than political view point or religion... Like can she have fun, intellegent conversations, and wants children. Then, I can get in a mode to explore things of a more "debatable" material?
Don't get me wrong, I look at religion as a strong indicator as to if a girl is a suitable companion. It's up there with wants children. But, it might be a little premature on a dating site to discuss how many kids you want??? Espescially if you are communicating it via e-mails on POF. Maybe you should look at religion the same way and simply accept that someone who puts Christian on their profile, might just be a Christian???
Subsequently, if you find yourself asking why someone who never walked up (as in was in a relationship with you) walked away, you might have more problems than that they walked away... | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 2:19:16 PM |
I think if a person pushes religion or politics over board early on it would be a solid indicator that they are not ready for a relationship or intend on using those to "ground" a person.
Everytime i think of religion, I get images of Jim Baker & Swaggart telling people that they are worthless scum until they praise God... but yet hide a lot of their own dirty laundry.
Hell, I'd rather date Jessica Hahn
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 2:23:55 PM | Maybe it is that some of us have had negative experiences with (judgemental) Christian women. I was raised protestant but as an adult adopted an eclectic philosophical and spiritual belief system that I don't see as incompatible with Judea/Christian values. Unfortunately I've come across way too many fundamentalist Christian women who have a very narrow view so I've decided to avoid women who use frequently mention Jesus in day to day conversations.
Church is fine if it works for you. Just don't expect me to go with you all the time and don't demand that I throw out my statue of the Buddha or that I not celebrate Beltane. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 3:03:36 PM |
Who is this guy? I never heard of him. Ok, so he bought meth from a gay person. Did he sleep with the gay person? If he did... oh well, was that person of age?
Still raping a child that is 9-13 years old is a little worse than buying drugs from a gay person. ok.. ok.. ALOT WORSE!
yes, raping a small child is worse in the laws eyes than buying meth and possibly screwing a gay prostitute. but my point of the clips was that it doesnt matter if its catholic or christian, every religion has its hypocrites in positions of power. im assuming you didnt watch the first clip, where it says hes the head (or was til he was accused of the drug/gay sex) of a branch of religion that has some 30 million members.
So, just watch that you don't start proselytizing "Nothingism" or you just might find yourself in a religion.
i wonder how much money i can make if i coin this, since thats all religion is about now a days to anyone other than the common follower, money.
hmm... im getting "Nothingism" copyrighted right now.
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:24:09 PM |
But it's not your fault. You have been programmed to think that you're somehow going to wind up in the awful pits of hell if you don't raise your kids as Christian. All three major religions do this, so you're not alone. My parents still believe this (and yes I do think its drastically ridiculous but to each their own).
yep, the 'seed' gets planted when were very young...and we believe it because it is our parents say so...programming...as did their parents...and so on (til u break out on ur own, but thats another thread/ballgame)
To me, a Christian is one who has good moral fiber and high ethics code. Thats what I mean when I responded CHRISTIAN.
Christianity isn't the only religion such expects high standards of morality.... which part of Christianity makes most people uncomfortable, the morality, or Jesus? I know some people on this topic complain about Christians acting like they are 'holier than thee' or something like that... I can certainly understand people with that kind of attitude would make people very uncomfortable.
I am a Christian but I don't like people who act like that... because the whole point of the religion is that we fall short of what God demands of us and he gave us Jesus as our savior.
'you dont like that'...well, who does
If I had seen in that drop-down menu of choices (and we do have to check mark one) A STRONG BELIEF IN A GOD (or something like that)...that would of been my choice
Until then, CHRISTIAN gives a broader, looser state of mind...IMO
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:45:42 PM | | Oh thats nice I'm glad for you. What do you expect someone to say? Thats the great thing about this country. Freedom of religion also means freedom from religion for those who don't want it. Enjoy your religion, it is good for you. Just keep it to yourself and we'll all be better for it. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 8:09:15 PM | There are 3 topics that mostly end in an argument, when people hold opposing views: RELIGION,
POLITICS,
SEX.
If you are of one Religion and you want to date someone who isn't, be very, very careful about talking about this subject. Best to avoid it altogether if you don't have to talk about it.
Voice of experience. | |
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| Are men afraid of christian women?
Posted: 1/3/2008 8:33:28 PM | | I for one have never turned someone away if they say they are Christian. However the same can't be said for when I say that I am agnostic (or in my earlier days atheist). I often get a response of "you're going to hell" or they try to push their religion on me. Then I say no thanks and if they keep pushing I walk away (I spout scripture and convince them they are going to hell if they tell me I'm going to hell but that is a different story altogether). Anyway the point I am trying to make is that people are people. Some are passionate in their beliefs. Some a bit too passionate. Some are open to ideas. Others feel the need to push their ideas on others. Most atheist and agnostics don't hate Christians for being Christian, they just have had bad experiences with Christians before and tend to bunch them up. And, as a result they start treating Christians the same way that they treated them, causing those Christians to think of all agnostics and atheist as judgmental people who are just closed minded, thus the never ending wheel of prejudice turns. My philosophy when dealing with Christians, (or any other religion for that matter) is live and let live and let god decide my fate after I die if he exists. | |
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