| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:36:52 PM | | I ma sorry but I can not handle being on the wrong end of the silent treatment. it is one of my issues. I hate givng the silent treatment for that very reason. I was told to from a young age to expres your self and your feelings. Yes I have said things I have regretted, but I have also been able to talk about it afterwards. I was given the silent treatment, and then a bad email and then the silent treatment again for things I did not even do. I hated it , I hated it so much I tried even harder to comunicate, maybe to my own detriment. I just would rather talk things out. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:44:52 PM | Good topic. It happens to be one of the things that I've worked on (will take the next relationship to find out how good I've gotten!). In the past (hopefully it will stay there!), I found I gave the silent treatment when I felt something was wrong but hadn't put my finger on it yet. Getting asked 'what's wrong?' would just frustrate me because I couldn't answer their question due to not knowing my own self, and being more immature then, I would get angry at them for asking it, instead of stating I was trying to figure it out myself (although not getting asked was sometimes even more irritating! lol). Sometimes it was something they did, probably why I retaliated in an improper manner when asked what was wrong. Much more often though I had gone silent because I needed some alone time, and wasn't being given it. Partway during my last relationship I got much better at asking for time to think about what was bugging me and then having a good talk about it when I had figured it out...and more importantly, asking for my alone time when I needed it (although it took my partner longer to realize that I wasn't mad at him when asking for alone time...I was asking for it to prevent us from getting into an argument!!! It helped that when I came out of hiding, I was supremely affectionate ;)
And yes, men are more than capable of pulling the silent treatment stunt as well!...and are quite skilful at it! I wonder if that's part of the reason why they get the bad communicator stereotype?
And for you psych types, yes, I am sure this behaviour was one of the ones that I learned as a young child...and I am very proud to be one of the people who chooses to recognize their own bad behaviour and chooses to work on changing it to a healthier way of relating in this world...but I'll freely admit I'm still a work in progress! | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/9/2008 2:32:37 AM | | Hey ITSMARGO, #125, she hit the nail on the head. just talk baby. Work thru it. Dont wait for all the dust in your brain to settle and hope a clear idea pops out. Talk first and clean it up as you go, working hard to say it so your partner GETS it. Just try to stay away from the personal attacks. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/9/2008 5:42:33 AM | | There's no better conflict-resolution strategy than to not discuss it. Staring off into space and ignoring your partner's presence says, "I care." | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 9:51:58 AM |
There's no better conflict-resolution strategy than to not discuss it. Staring off into space and ignoring your partner's presence says, "I care."
Well...actually what it is saying is....I don't care to discuss it while you (partner) are foaming at the mouth, because I don't want to get hit in the back of the head with an iron skillet..... sounds like a pretty good conflict resolution strategy to me.......  | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:35:51 AM |
One of my personal axioms is... "If you don't know where to start, just say it badly, then clean it up".
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. The thing people have to remember is, once something's said, it can never be unsaid, and it's not always possible to "erase" it with an "I'm sorry!". Regardless of what is being discussed, you always have to exercise good judgement over what you say, especially when feelings are running high.
Arlo | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:40:50 AM | | I still feel strongly that you need to communicate with the person you are upset with. You don't just stop talking. Anyone that does this should speak with a professional, it is passive agressive behavior and is just plain immature craziness. Letting someone know you are that upset that you can't talk about something is what you should do. Maybe everyone doesn't have a point where they get that upset where they just want to tear up everyone and they need to calm down, but for those that do, it is advisable to tell the other party that they are too upset to discuss it any further. If the other person is offended, that is their issue. If you let them know that you are being an adult, that is great. But to just stop talking...gahhhh...total mental case in my opinion. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:43:36 AM |
I still feel strongly that you need to communicate with the person you are upset with Nothing says COMMUNICATION like an iron skillet to the back of the head! | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 11:55:20 AM | ummm think verbal is a little better...but ya know some men have some pretty hard heads and a nice No. 12 Wagner might hit the spot... | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:46:37 PM | The silent treatment has been banned by international treaties world wide.  The use of this tactic is a sign of inhumane treatment and should be reported to the local SSTA or stop silent treatment in America. This is serious Do your part today | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:46:49 PM |
I enjoy telling my partner EXACTLY why I am pissed. No silent treatment from me.
"Never go to bed angry -- stay up and fight it out!"
Arlo | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 8:48:52 PM |
Stove Top: Nothing says COMMUNICATION like an iron skillet to the back of the head!
It’s definitely an attention getter….
justfrozen: ummm think verbal is a little better...but ya know some men have some pretty hard heads and a nice No. 12 Wagner might hit the spot...
I assume it’s called a Wagner because as soon as a woman starts wagging her tongue….it’s the first thing they reach for?........................ | |
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bugsi
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Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 143 | |
| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 8:53:48 PM | | Well they say for every 1 word a man speaks, a women has 10000000000000, so I know it kills me to be silent, its either 1: u did something really bad, or 2: I just want to scream and tell you everything you have ever done wrong and for the sake of world peace I will just shut-up. Dont u like it when Im quiet? | |
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bugsi
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Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 144 | |
| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 8:59:00 PM | Re: onward33,
When you dont know what the problem is you are trying to hard to get everything right, which means your not avaialble in the present which matters more, just reflect upon the action that caused the communication breakdown, no matter how trivial it seems and then later on discuss the deeper meaning to what it is you feel. | |
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bugsi
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Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 145 | |
| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 9:04:41 PM | Re: longsleeves,
I agree, as women are born communicators, men can use the silent treatment as a form of abuse. If you really care about someone very deeply you wouldnt want them to feel hurt, especially over a period of days, weeks etc. All that prooves is that you take pleasure in their pain. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 9:24:13 PM |
I'm hoping to see some guys chime in and say "hell yeah" !...what's up with that anyhow?
Parry
I don't know what you are complaining about , just enjoy the silent treatment while it lasts.
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| Why women are actually like computers
Posted: 1/12/2008 9:26:49 PM | This was a Big Breakthrough when this realization hit me one day. Sooo... why Are women like computers?
Well, you have to punch exactly precisely the right set of buttons. Otherwise they shut down, will not respond to any attempts at communication, and will just 'be there', silent. They won't inform you what the problem might be. As that's up to yourself to maybe somehow or other figure out, and to then fix the problem (whatever it may have been, absent any kind of clues).
Not that women are like machines... perish the thought, and what a wretched world it would be, without women. But in this respect at least, there is an amazing similarity to machines of the computer ilk. | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/12/2008 9:27:12 PM | i will admit i do it to guys all the time...
usually if they sound like a perv and just want to get in my pants i wont respond... i have no time for that crap
other times when they just dont seem my type... or i dunno i just dont want to write back and make them think im interested when im not, i know that sounds shallow... but its the way some people are....
dont just say it girls do it either guys do it all the time too
its happened to me plenty of times and yes it does hurt and makes me feel really ugly and fat but i move on, no need to freakin bag on guys about it how u are bagin on women about it.
if a girl gives u the silent treatment move on! she is not interested there is no point waiting for her to respond back and getting all upset over it, there are plenty of other girls just keep fishin! | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/13/2008 8:14:40 AM |
i will admit i do it to guys all the time...
usually if they sound like a perv and just want to get in my pants i wont respond... i have no time for that crap
That's not what's being talked about, though. You're allowed to reply, or not reply, as you see fit.
Arlo | |
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| The Silent Treatment......ughhhhhh (lol)
Posted: 1/13/2008 4:27:06 PM | I'm tellin ya.. if he's givin you the silent treatment just flash him
yer boobies (o)(o)  makes em open up real quick. Trust Me! this works.
It also works if he's really mad at ya 
If this fails (but it won't) Hit up side the head with a cast iron skillet. | |
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