|
|
|
|
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:44:59 PM | AND i agree with brock choy (cute name- lol) that fibbing about age does not make a person an all out worthless liar... or a person who can not be trusted on any level!
k, i'm done now  | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:20:06 PM | I really hate the age lie. I know a guy that has his age as like 99 and then puts no one guesses my age is 48, geez, he is 50.
To me, it is starting out on a lie. They lie that it was the system's fault not theirs that their age is incorrect. They had like 30 days to notice and correct it, but chose not to. If they can lie about little things, small things, what is to prevent them from telling lies about serious things?
Your age isn't a white lie, a white lie is what you tell your kids, you'll get a stomach ache if you eat another piece of cake (cause you want to eat the last piece yourself )
When I see a profile that says, everyone says I look younger than my age or whatever crap, it bugs me too. So many people look younger, that is great! If it is true, we will know it when we meet, why is that stated?
I totally agree with Gwen's comment.
I am still having problems dealing with a man telling me going out for drinks with a woman he never met isn't considered a date.
To me it is simple, you don't like the amount of years I lived, ok...ba bye. You want to go out with other women, ok...ba bye. You live over a half hour away...ba bye. You want me to tell you what is written on my profile because you are to lazy to click it...ba bye... Sorry, tough enough to be myself, don't want to lie about who I am. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:50:19 PM | You are proving my point, J-Froze, and thank you for that. You've just provided a list of the gotchas you score, or a partial list, anyway. The best person in the world (who will be, you know, flawed) only has to trip one of your triggers and s/he is eating your dust.
Here's the thing about playing gotcha - apart from how it flags ordinary shmos. The real cons out there, the smooth and practiced deceivers, the ones who have no intention of ever being straight with you about anything? Those are the folks who know, from long practice, how to beat your gotchas, how to fly under your pissy radar and into your silks and/or accounts.
The only people you get to gotcha are not even trying to play you. They're just bent puppies, like you, like me, like all of us. And you gotcha gamers would rather score off of them than know their qualities. Wassa matter? Chicken?
Cheeese!
Vulf  | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:57:23 PM | Or god forbid she could just date the ordinary schmos who dont lie about their age.
Things such as taste in music etc could be lies sure, but they are not as critical as age, and are usually in a state of flux anyway.
I'll repeat, there is no reason to lie about your age. If you do not have the maturity to be honest with me about how old you are, then I have no interest in dating you. | |
|
| |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:02:07 PM | People (especially women) lie about their age because if you are a certain age you become invisible to the opposite sex. I read a post from a 29 year old who states she gets 50 emails a day. I think I've gotten 5 in 4 months. But I'm not lying.  | |
|
| |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:12:14 PM | | I agree with Discofied; I don't think it's a big deal. Now faked photos, total fabrications in profiles (claiming to be a doctor making $70,000 when in fact being a physician's assistant making half that; claiming to be single when actually separated or, worse yet, married, etc.), THAT'S a big deal. And I don't think it necessarily follows that someone who fibbed a bit about his/her age will lie about everything else. We're a very age conscious society -- an age is a label. "40 Year Old Man" is akin to ".300 hitter" or "20 game winner." It's a label and some might want to avoid a label he/she finds distasteful. I'm not looking to get involved with a number, but a woman. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 2:01:03 AM |
Sorry, P-Pooch, but the only people who will care are the Gotcha players, the scorekeepers and judgment mongers.
The rest of us take people as they come, and you know what? We find that, once people know they are accepted, their defenses start to come down, along with whatever exaggerations and distortions they've relied upon theretofore to feel safe. I suspect that anyone who meets you, and hears you claim to speak for "anyone who VALUES integrity," will add a few more fibs to their repertoire, just to be extra safe. Hasn't anyone ever cut your humanity a little slack?
Cheese!
Sorry Vulf, but it's not a matter of being judgemental, it's a matter of using your judgement based on what sticks out in front of your nose. Anyone who ignores lies from the offset is putting themselves up for being lied to more often. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 2:43:40 AM | I lie about my age. I say right in my profile that I lied about my age. It's one of the filters to see if women actually bother to read all of my profile. If they do, and respond, then they respond knowing I'm older than stated, and I tell them my real age as soon as they ask. If they don't ask right away, then it isn't important. As it is, women ask me why I haven't shown up on their searches...because the Age Filters keep me out of some interested women's searches. I'm in much better physical shape than many men 20 years younger than me. many women my age are on medications or have physical ailments that aren't compatible with my lifestyle activities . My last LTR woman said she'd never have met me if I hadn't lied about my age, and she was glad that I had. None of my past relationships have ever ended over the age difference. Most incompatibilities are deeper than age alone.
Women lie about their weight frequently. They put average, which these days means overweight. They often post 5 year old photo's - isn't that lying? I've dated tall, short, heavy, and slim... it's the magic 'chemistry ' that takes things somewhere further. I've dated some very boring gorgeous tall slim blondes....dang! - it's the hair colour that makes the difference! Bottom line is, we men are very visual, and shallow. It's the way we're wired. No it isn't fair. Lighten up...:) | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:40:30 AM |
Yep, women do it all the time and some even tell you right in their profiles that they lied just to appear in your searchs.
I figure that if they start off not respecting my wishes they are never going to respect my wishes so I just click next and go on.
That's exactly what reaction I have to someone who says "yeah you didn't want someone over 45, but I'm a young 50."
I don't care. I didn't ask for a young 50 - I asked for no one over 45. Shows you have no regard for what I want. Not a good trait when you want to date someone.
When I see some guy who wants women who are no older than 35, I shrug and move on - I don't send them a message and say "I know you wanted 35 but I'm a young 40." WTF?? | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:51:48 AM | Age is meaningless in a relationship, so why lie. If the chemistry is there, along with the maturity, it shouldnt matter. I am so glad to be on these forums as possibly the oldest female poster.NO I'm pretty sure I am THE oldest.!!!! It makes no sense to me that age is such a factor that someone would lie. I have never been insecure about who I am. My age is what it is, I cant change it , nor would I. Maybe because in my family there are couples with women 10 to 15 yrs older than their spouses, and many of the men are already gone. By that meaning d e a d. Love the forums though. Keep posting.
Since being here I have learned your never to old to be educated. Hey I've learned because I smoke I'm promiscuious. Now why didnt someone tell me that 40 yrs ago. I have so much catching up to do, and so little time to do it. Well maybe not, as the women in my family tend to live into the 90's. So I can take my time and enjoy without pressure. But then the forums have also told me I should no longer have a desire for sex. lol Who takes these polls. I never get asked.
On topic...although it may not seem like a biggie I think anyone who lies about their age may be a little insecure and that can lead to all kinds of other problems down the line. Its not about the age thing. It's about deception, the insecurities your feeling within yourself. Celebrate every year you have been blessed to be on this earth. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:27:37 AM |
I did meet a guy once who had been using his SON'S pic, and was claiming to be 42. In person, it was instantly obvious that he was actually about 66 and didn't look at all like his son's pic - regardless of whatever resemblance his family might have noticed. Needless to say that didn't go over well.
There is a woman's profile out here I've run across a couple of times. She is plenty attractive enough I think. Yet she has two prominent photos up of her 20 something y.o. daughter who is of course gorgeous. Photos of just her daughter not her and her daughter together. She does state in her profile that is her daughter and they are very close so that is her stated reason she has the photos up.
Still, a bait and switch comes to mind whether or not that is intended or not. Or, is it a test? Regardless it smells of some kind of game.
Oh and weasel...
We are the Redneck... You will be assimilated... Resistance is futile!
Hahahaha! J/K... couldn't resist. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:30:53 AM | Guys lie about their age (and other things) because it's just a 'guideline'. Same as weight. Women will state up front that they are looking for a guy between 24 and 32. Would she date Tom Cruise? Sure. How about Brad Pitt? (lets assume they are single at the time, anyway). The answer is yes. And there are a surprising number of YOUNG women who would date Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, etc. etc.. So, the age thing is crap. Same with guys. Now, I'm attracted to skinny women. Would I have dated Marilyn Monroe in her prime? Uh, yeah, sure. Absolutely. Cindy Crawford? Uh, well, yup. I rest my case.
Besides, we're all liars. About something, anyway. Women use make up, hair color, styling tools and things to 'adjust' their appearance to be what they really aren't, and really can't be every moment of every day. High heels anyone? No, you're not really that tall. Women know appearances count a lot to guys. Same for men. Men will buy one expensive suit for 'special occasions' to present as more affluent than he really is. Wear dress shirts and blazers rather than the 'I'm with stupid' T shirts and jeans he usually wears. Rents a more expensive car than he could afford to buy. And the list goes on.
Get over the little things. Find out if you like the person. Would you ever tell your partner, when they're on their way to a tennis match, 'you know you're not really good enough to win, why bother to go?'. No. We all say something to the effect of, 'Go get 'em champ'.
Fleetwood Mac: 'Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'. That's what we all want to hear. 'You're the most beautiful woman in the world'. 'Wow, it's so big'. 'You're the best I've ever had'. And, of course, 'I'll love you forever'. Complete honesty is really overrated. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:33:54 AM | Holy Mother of Matrimony Murphy591! You look F>A>N>T>A>S>T>I>C!
I cannot BELIEVE you are in your 60's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As for me.......I must admit I am lying about my age. But damn it! Those senior citizen discounts are WORTH IT!
Ok...a serious second. Yes, my age on my profile is a lie. But it is (at least I am assuming it is) a very obvious lie. I manipulated the profile to completely remove myself from the "age limit" thing, AND I manipulated it to my detriment, not my benefit. I'm no longer looking online, so it really does not matter....but yes, I am one of those that feels that splitting hairs over age is ridiculous. True, it is heinous to lie - about anything, and yes I do believe that looking for someone the age of your children is too damn much of an unrealistic spread. But gosh it is frustrating to sort through the profiles, see some guy who is my age and interesting, ....and then having an age restriction on his profile that cuts off one year below my age. People are so damn hard to find online anyway....why cut yourself off from an age group when its totally possible to juste delete their emails if you are not interested? In real life, when you see someone who is attractive across the room...do you walk up and say"Hey, before I speak to you, how old are you? Cuz I only talk to women who are up to age 45. If you are 46, then no way do I want to waste my time on you."
Hell, no. You don't.
I still say that the BEST dating sites in the future will be the ones that accept short "Hi, my name is so and so" video's ONLY.....cuz there is very little way to fake a cam video. Cuz it really should not matter how old someone IS....all that should matter is how old someone LOOKS and ACTS. Until we have cam dating sites for five years or more - then they'll save their videos and lie about that too. *shakes head* You know, cam's only cost about $50. Its a lot simpler than meeting for coffee - we should all have one. I do.
Granted....I do understand why the age restriction thing. Its because men my age don't want to get mail from women my age, lolol....but nonetheless, I don't think there are many men in their 50's who would kick me out of bed for eating crackers.... | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:40:10 AM | | There is no positive rationalization for anyone lying. To lie is to attempt to manupulate. Players. Disrespecting the other's boundaries. Anyone who thinks it is OK to lie about age weight, profession, etc are interested in their own needs, only. There is a certain amount of selfishness, and shallowness there. You've deluded someone, and wasted their time and effort with the lie. Yeah, right, meeting up with a guy who is 10 years older, 50-100 pounds heavier? What a great way to start a relationship. You feel used if this happens to you. I have learned if you forgive one lie, the rest gets easier for them to come up with. Sorry, one lie and I am gone. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:51:37 AM | | I no a women on here who has her age down as 43 when she is infact 48 she said she did it because she wants to attract younger men, surely her pics and profile should do that for her. I told her she was starting of on the wrong foot and that her lies would always be found out. I met a man that no only lied about his age but the fact that he was married as well, i sussed him right from the start let him buy me a meal and a few drinks and then when he asked for another date i said no because i knew he was married and that he was alot older he said it wasnt very nice that i had allowed him to buy me a meal to which i replied its not very nice to be lied to. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:33:03 AM | This cracks me up!
Agree wholeheartedly with Beth, et al.
TWO arenas I feel strongly about in online vs real world-face-to-face Life.....AGE and INCOME are noone's business at first meet.
I do not know ANYone who has, when first meeting someone they are attracted to, interested in, at a party, club, etc., blurted out "How old are you?", or..."How much do you make?"
....I mean, come ON! Unless it is a blatent case of perhaps being underage, since when did people put age and income as a main criteria? Ummmm....When internet dating happened.
Out of my three significant relationships I never even THOUGHT about their age until we had been dating ....two of them ended up being about 10 years younger than I ...and it was never a concern, or problem. One was older...and I was surprised when I eventually found out...thought he was younger.
Women fib ALL the time about their hair color (oh yeah, SURE she's "Blonde", so on...HA!), colored contacts, boob jobs,weight, etc. Men exaggerate as well.... I do not think a guy saying he's 50 when, in fact he's 55, is a big deal. Not if he eventually tells me he fudged it.
People need to lighten up!!! Life is waaaay too short!
I mean...Santa, Easter Bunny, and religious icons are fibs....right? Can't ever trust your parents again!??? Hehheh! | |
|
| |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 10:38:25 AM |
things to 'adjust' their appearance to be what they really aren't, and really can't be every moment of every day. High heels anyone? No, you're not really that tall.
Adjust my appearance, nope, I use it to enhance. I have auburn eyelashes, eye makeup brings out my eyes. I wouldn't say it adjusts them, they don't move, they are in the same place, sometimes with greens around them, sometimes browns, blacks, and sparkles when I can find where my daughter hides them.
I go to the stores and buy shoes. Pretty shoes. I don't buy them according to the height of the heel. I buy them according to how they look and feel. I am not trying to pretend I am taller than what I am. I am tall enough, thank you.
Adding purple or pink hair to my hair, isn't lieing, it is adding color. I get bored and enjoy a change. Some people are able to change their hair color, add highlights, etc., I can't, but I can add some color...real colors... I have read in women's profiles they clearly admit to changing their hair color.
Now that little physical thingy, that is hard for me. I know that when I have on a swimsuit I can tell I am thin, but I also know I had 3 kids and have the extra mommy belly, so I don't think of myself as thin. I can't hike or bike and other activities, so I can't consider myself athletic, but I try to do yoga every day. If I put average down, I am uncomfortable because I know I am in 10% for my height and weight. I don't consider people lieing when they mark average and they are overweight, it is too hard for people to figure out what to put there. Maybe if we could list our bmi's.
Age is a fact. We usually know the month, day and year we were born. I know that in some countries this day wasn't recorded back when, it was more important to celebrate when the child lived a year. But for the rest of us, it is deception, deception is lieing. An old picture, a picture of someone else, not listing your actual age, are not characteristics of someone who wants to start a relationship with honesty and someone I would be concerned wants to play games or head games. I have had enough double talk and head games. Give me the truth, if you don't want the truth about someone's age guess that is your choice, but there is a difference between makeup and your date of birth. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 10:51:02 AM | | I hate liars. I will be 53 in 6 days and I'm proud of it. I do not understand why men or women lie about their age. You should embrace each wonderful year!!! | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 10:52:46 AM |
I still say that the BEST dating sites in the future will be the ones that accept short "Hi, my name is so and so" video's ONLY.....cuz there is very little way to fake a cam video
The best dating sites in the future will be those that create an accurate software representation of you and clash it against all the other profiles, simulating real-life interactions at lightspeed to find the One True Match.
The problem is metrics.
How to quantify a person in a timely and accurate fashion?
A good chunk of money to made there. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 11:00:22 AM | | Like I've said before...by the time they can do THAT^^^^^^^, they will have holographic sensorally-enhanced interactive programs that you can buy....and at that point, no man will ever waste his time on a physically real woman again. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 11:01:42 AM | | I think even "little" lies eventually eat your soul. In this milieu, though, where age can eliminate you from the dating prospects, I can UNDERSTAND why people lie about their ages (lower), I just don't appreciate it. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 11:40:18 AM |
Bottom line is, we men are very visual, and shallow. It's the way we're wired. No it isn't fair. Lighten up...:)
God love ya...just love men! They cant help it...lol
I think even "little" lies eventually eat your soul. In this milieu, though, where age can eliminate you from the dating prospects, I can UNDERSTAND why people lie about their ages (lower), I just don't appreciate it.
Maybe upon initial filling out of profile, they answer to how their 'heart' feels....ie: "I feel (this age)"
I'm neutral...I accept em's from ANYONE, ANY AGE...two reasons
1) I'm taken...poses no threat to the ladies
2) I can learn sooo much from those above and below my age....I truly am a 'forumite' | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
