| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:51:51 PM | Le Beth, "holographic sensorally-enhanced interactive programs that you can buy" will never be able to make a decent sandwich, let alone rescue a man from a paranoid stamp collector at a pool party. There will always be demand for all that is WOMAN.
Those of you who think you're disagreeing with me really are proving my point. Anyone who makes a silly, obvious fudge is just lonely and probably means well enough. The liars you are trying to avoid are the slick ones, the very ones you won't screen out by turning away the hapless.
But hey! More volunteer meat for predators may mean the clever girls won't be so battle fatigued. So y'all are making my life better, anyway. Thank you.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 1:56:54 PM | Shieldvulf said:
Le Beth, "holographic sensorally-enhanced interactive programs that you can buy" will never be able to make a decent sandwich, let alone rescue a man from a paranoid stamp collector at a pool party. There will always be demand for all that is WOMAN.
***************
Housekeepers make sandwiches.
Male friends are just as capable to rescue you from stamp collectors.
I don't see anything there about needing a woman for love.
However. You are absolutely correct about the liars and players seeking the biggest challenge. Its like aphids who will always go after a sick plant. They can smell you a mile away. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 2:34:57 PM | I think most people lie (or at least "fudge") about at least something.
My grandmother sheared ten years off her age on Match. She met a man who believed she was 62, not 72. By the time she told him the truth, he didn't care. They now live together and are happy.
The only fudge I ever made was saying I was a non-smoker when I do smoke occasionally. My rationale was that if I met Mr. Right and he was a non-smoker, I'd quit.
I gave that lie up right fast, and was amazed at where the truth gets you. After going on many dates with non-smoking guys and nic-fitting while I was trying to get to know someone, I decided that I'd only date smokers in the future. As soon as I updated my profile to say I was a smoker, I started getting a lot of mail from smoking guys, and started having a much better time on dates. Instead of thinking "My date's in two hours, better smoke like a fiend now because I'll be craving it later", I began thinking, "Great, I have a date in two hours!"
A lot of times, people lie without meaning to; they believe they're telling the truth, but they're not. Many guys describe themselves as "witty" when their jokes are more Rob Schneider than Woody Allen, or as "intelligent" when they have the IQ of lead, or "easygoing" when they're actually neurotic and smooth the sheets on their bed WHILE you're having sex with them.
Girls describe themselves as "down to earth" when they're actually divas, "a few extra pounds" when they're obese, "family-oriented" when they're a single mother with four kids..and so on. Guys add inches and dollars, and girls subtract weight and years.
Learn to read through the lines, that's all. I doubt most profiles on here are one hundred percent genuine; most people either omit or "pretty up" a truth about them that would turn potential dates off.
My beef is personally with all the guys who claim to be smart and funny when they aren't at all. Does everyone think of themselves as smart and funny? Witty? Verbose? A riot? Life of the party? Thoughtful? And you can't always tell. Two profiles of guys I spoke to, "Rick" and "Ian".
Rick's profile was erudite and lengthy. I had no trouble believing that he was intelligent and funny, as his profile claimed, because his profile portrayed him as such. Not a grammatical error or misspelling in sight, and plenty of wit.
Ian's profile was short and low on grammar. His sentences were sparse, his descriptions lacking. He seemed unintelligent and dull, and included no witty banter or jokes in his profile.
Rick turned out to be boorish, a sex-maniac, and not at all funny, intelligent, or witty.
Ian turned out to be smart and funny and everything his profile hadn't said.
So, you can't generally tell with personality traits, but I feel equalled deceived if I meet someone who claims to be 25 and is actually 32, as I do if he claims to be smart and isn't. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 3:02:30 PM | | Dear, the man did tell you. He said he was a no good, scumbag, two-faced liar when he told you he was a lawyer. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 3:04:10 PM | | The real question here should be... would you date someone so simple that they think it makes a difference if you tell a woman your 54 when you're really 57... I dont see three years making a difference at that age. Hahahaha. What an idiot. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 4:01:30 PM |
Those of you who think you're disagreeing with me really are proving my point. Anyone who makes a silly, obvious fudge is just lonely and probably means well enough. The liars you are trying to avoid are the slick ones, the very ones you won't screen out by turning away the hapless.
But hey! More volunteer meat for predators may mean the clever girls won't be so battle fatigued. So y'all are making my life better, anyway. Thank you.
The only thing you are proving is how ridiculous some will go to in attempting to justify lying about age.
On what reasoning is lying about your age a 'silly and obvious fudge?' On what basis do they 'mean well enough'?
What about all those non players who dont lie about their age?
The initial age screening is about preference anyway, it isnt a screen for dishonesty, probably the same reason many people lie about their age in the first place, not because they are lonely, but because they want to date someone younger then them.
At any rate if someone is that immature I have no interest in them. So you got older, so did everyone else, get over it! | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:17:38 PM | | I totally agree with what you're saying. 3 years is not a big deal. And I disagree that someone who would fudge their age a little would lie about other things. AGe is a very hot issue. Why? Because we live in a youth obsessed society, that's why! Younger women are valued more than older women, it's as simple as that. Youth is valued more than age and maturity. If someone wants to cut off everyone over a certain age -- say 45 or so -- and you're 46 or 47 or whatever, what's a couple of years. Not only that, but who says you have to tell someone your exact age the minute you meet them. I think that's a rude assumption and when you ask ANYONE (male or female) who's over the age of about 35 how old they are, I think it's a very personal question. Besides, you can usually tell from looking at someone what their approximate age is. Thanks for your time. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:26:50 PM | I had this problem with someone Dec.06...He claimed to be 49..when we met...he was clearly at least in his mid or late 50's. Of course the pic he had on the profile showed him with sunglasses  that should have been a warning because the bags under his eyes made him look even older. Ugh. Top that with his nasty attitude toward the waitress. I was sick of him.
The really sad part is...he is on POF now and he is using the same age and same picture with the sunglasses. Even the profile is still the same...claiming to be romantic and honest
So he was 10-15 yrs. older than myself, he lied twice AND if he thought I could forgive him....well the nasty attitude took care of that possibility. One year ok, vanity ,
but 10-15 puhleeeeeesssseee | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:01:25 PM |
The real cons out there, the smooth and practiced deceivers, the ones who have no intention of ever being straight with you about anything? Those are the folks who know, from long practice, how to beat your gotchas, how to fly under your pissy radar and into your silks and/or accounts.
I really think this could have it's own thread. That is one of the truest statements I have ever read, in these forums.
I see it every day in the forums. The OP wants a pat on the back for being such a great detective. Then comes back in for the sympathy given to all "victims".
And it can be over some of the dumbest shit in the world.
What about all those non players who don't lie about their age?
You can find them posting in the forums. They are usually "pushing" ethics and righteousness, trying to point out how many levels of wrong things are, and how "they them selves" would never dare to do the same! Due to their strict moral code!
OP, when I was younger it was harder for me to get dates with older women. So I lied. I would come clean soon after we actually went out. By then I "knew" that my age wouldn't matter. They would stick around, but only "after" we met. My ex-wife just turned 51 yesterday. I'm 37. And it wasn't age or lies that tore us apart. (13 years of marriage started with me lying about my age) Today she's still my best friend! So to each their own!
~Belly~ | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:31:53 PM |
I don't think it's so much the age as the fact that if people are prepared to lie about their age, what else are they prepared to lie about? anyone with integrity would NOT lie about their age, and some people value integrity. Oh come on. Can you all say that you are completely irreproachable? That you haven't amplified the truth ever so slightly in ANY part of your profile in order to advertise yourself in a positive light? Who are all those people who 'prefer not to say'? It's all a way to get a foot in the door. Once you have that you can say, "by the way, I slightly under/over exaggerated [age or whatever] and I'm so sorry if you feel personally offended by my abominable behavior, but if you don't like it then hard cheese"  Or you can say "by the way, I lied about my age, I'm a woman, what do you expect".....ouch, I felt that... ...Not that I'm saying I've lied on my profile, I DO make a fantastic lemon tart  | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:43:34 PM |
You can find them posting in the forums. They are usually "pushing" ethics and righteousness, trying to point out how many levels of wrong things are, and how "they them selves" would never dare to do the same! Due to their strict moral code!
Or maybe they are people who aren't full of crap and dont have a childish hang up about their age? | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:03:35 PM | | Heck, nawwwww..... I'm 51. How much younger could I be and have a nearly 35-year-old????? And I just don't care about that kind of stuff. I am as old as I am. Yes, I could SAY I'm however old I'd like to say, but I'd still be 51!!! | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:23:18 PM |
Or maybe they are people who aren't full of crap and dont have a childish hang up about their age?
Sure. If thats the way you would like this turd polished.
But I will stick with my previous comment. Seems to be the one that hit's the nail on the head!
"You can find them posting in the forums. They are usually "pushing" ethics and righteousness, trying to point out how many levels of wrong things are, and how "they them selves" would never dare to do the same! Due to their strict moral code! "
They will never be happy until they are recognized for the role models of society that they are..
~Belly~ | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:44:14 PM | | The same reason why people would lie about their height, weight, marital status, smoking habits etc. They think that lying about these things will get them more dates. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:44:19 PM | And I'll continue to have nothing to do with lying childish losers with hang ups about their age.
Aint we both content. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/3/2008 8:24:00 PM | AGe is a very hot issue. Why? Because we live in a youth obsessed society, that's why! Younger women are valued more than older women, it's as simple as that. Youth is valued more than age and maturity. If someone wants to cut off everyone over a certain age -- say 45 or so -- and you're 46 or 47 or whatever, what's a couple of years.
Hmm. I don't get this. Where's this "youth obsessed society" everyone's worried about? It's a false premise, in my opinion.
There are more than enough men (in my case) and women (for you guys) who either PREFER our specific, individual age or are INDIFFERENT about it that this just seems like such a lame thing to fib about. (And I'm not one of those people who claims they NEVER lie - I've told my share in my day - it's just that this one seems a bit odd, to me.)
I don't know what people my age or thereabouts are so worried about. People WILL date us at our age. How many potential partners do we need, for heaven's sake? I'm 50 now, so if I live to be 80 and date one or two people some years, and maybe have a couple of longer-term dating relationships until I croak, averaging out I only have to land another 10 or 20 - maybe 30 - dateable guys out of three billion or so men on the planet. Not such a big chore, to be honest.
Lightning might even strike and I could end up only dating ONE more person. I'm not counting on it, but you never know. Of course, that could be because I meet someone special and spend the next 30 or so years with him, or because I get hit by a bus next week. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:30:06 AM | | Men are taught to fib and tell white lies to coexist with women from our first dates forward. We have to lie to survive. Total honesty is a buzz killer, just ask any man over the age of 25, he knows. Some of the examples are, "Honey do these pants make my a** look fat." "Do you really like my new hairstyle." "Are you sure you don't mind if mom stays the weekend." "Do you really think Ochre is the perfect shade for the living room." "Of course I'm listening to you honey." "That was the best fried eggplant and squid I have ever had, can I have some more please." "You bet I put a condom on first." "I promise I'll just put him in for a little while." "I'll pull out in time I promise." What do you want from us, we lie to you because you expect it. I'ts required. It's part of the deal, get over it. Sword | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:39:40 PM |
she will bite off her nose to spite her face by holding it against him....or because she needs to relax and not be such a judgemental hypocrite ( as in a sin is a sin and if lying isn't one of her's I'm sure she commits some sin or another ). And coming to the conclusion that someone will lie about anything if they do this is pure ignorance...IMO. There's the guilting and badgering that I was talking about in my previous post. According to him, you're a judgemental, uptight, ignorant, hypocrite who would bite of your own nose to spite your face if you ever dare to reject someone for lying to you. And the rationale for the attitude? His rationale is that you've done something bad at some point in your life, so you must put up with every horrible thing he ever does to you.
Does anyone agree with his sentiments?
In reply to rachelmybell and a few similar sentiments about everyone lying to some degree:
Age is objective, things like a sense of humor or intelligence are subjective. I think almost everyone sees themselves as a lot smarter than they really are. And most people have made someone laugh in their lifetime and probably have even been told they're funny at some point. In the grand scheme of things, they might not be funny or intelligent, but they are those things to some people. In contrast, you were born on a certain date. That date won't change for your entire life. There really isn't any room for making it sound nice. It is what it is and lying about it is a completely blatant lie. If you're 40, but you feel like you're 30, then highlight that in the "about me" section of your profile, but don't change your birthdate.
The real cons out there, the smooth and practiced deceivers, the ones who have no intention of ever being straight with you about anything? Those are the folks who know, from long practice, how to beat your gotchas, how to fly under your pissy radar and into your silks and/or accounts. Con-men usually pick on the easiest targets like the elderly or the very lonely. Predators do the same thing. In the wild, predators single out the old/weak or the very young for the next meal. Aphids find the sick plant, not the strong healthy one with all of its defenses. Sexual predators will try to grab a woman who's out walking alone, not one who's with a large group of people. Child predators usually go after the lonely child who's looking for some companionship. They pick on the easiest targets, not the hard ones. People who are not willing to make judgments are easy marks. The signs are almost always there that they're getting played, but they just won't listen to those signs and make a solid judgment to protect themselves.
Anyone who makes a silly, obvious fudge is just lonely and probably means well enough. The liars you are trying to avoid are the slick ones, the very ones you won't screen out by turning away the hapless. Silly? Sure, I'll give you that one... because we all like dating people we think are rediculous. Obvious? No. Someone shaving 3 years off their age is not obvious. 10 years usually is, but not when so many people lie to us about it. If half the 50 year old women out there said that they were 40, we might start to believe that that's what many 40 year old women look like.
What is well meaning about it? It's certainly not the worst thing they can do, but how is it well meaning? They are purposely tricking you for their own gains. Telling the truth is much more well meaning. The argument that someone who has lied about something like age is less likely to lie about other things doesn't make much sense.
Who's more likely to cheat on you? Someone who has cheaten on you before or someone who hasn't?
Who's more likely to physically abuse you? Someone who has done it before or someone who hasn't?
Who's more likely to lie to you? Someone who has lied to you before or someone who hasn't?
As I said before, the signs are almost always there when someone is a player. Many people are willing to read the signs and get out of the relationship fast. The others suffer through it and get played. There are a few slick players out there who can fool anyone and my sympathy goes out to the victims. However, accepting liars makes you no more immune to the slick players than rejecting liars. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:38:01 AM | | Some people want to make out to be more than what they are not.But I really think that if you want your soul mate or friend then why lie to them even before you have started.I have seen a lot of people lie on here and it makes me sick to think that they can get away with it. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:44:49 AM | | I get a wee bit of an ego boost every time I hear that I look great for my age. There is no way I would lie and then get that look that says hmmmm or even worse "really, I thought you were older" .... makes more sense to me to lie the other way if you are going to do it at all. | |
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| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 1/5/2008 8:37:08 AM | | Geez, I try to be as truthful as possible on my profile. I am human and don't go into every detail and write a book on my profile. I do have a date with a younger man this weekend. I have also dated older men. I can not see how putting my correct age has changed anything, but I can see how not putting it down could. It could put doubts in the other person's mind about what other things that person could, can, and/or does lie about. I am trying to meet someone to not just pass in the night, but have a relationship that will be based on trust and hopefully love will come. I can not love someone I do not trust. I may fall in love with them before my trust has been ruined, we all know that happens enough on here. | |
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