| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:31:53 PM | 
... op... I did lie about my age  ... in fact I am only 20 3/4 yeras old ....
.. am looking for a mother figure .....
 | |
|
zeeba
|
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 177 | |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:56:50 PM | Never would lie about my age, although I know it's starting to be a bit more limiting on the types of men who might be attracted (and their loss, anyway!) Besides, I have CRS and if I did lie about my age, I wouldn't be able to remember what I had told anyone!  | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/4/2008 6:18:35 AM |
But to play devil's advocate here people get so prejudiced against based on their age.
That would seem to be the motivation for many who lie about their age. However, if a person has such a prejudice isn't it likely they have other self limiting prejudices as well? Why would we really want to know them?
Never would lie about my age, although I know it's starting to be a bit more limiting on the types of men who might be attracted (and their loss, anyway!)
If it really was "their loss" wouldn't it be more likely they would include your age in their search? It is not "their loss" but the perceived loss of those who will try to trick another with a lie to get attention. | |
|
zeeba
|
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 179 | |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/4/2008 6:33:12 AM | Episodeiv,
I was indeed being a bit flippant with "their loss, anyway!" What I meant is that I get rather amused by the fine line between one age and another -- as if you age dramatically once you have a birthday and "turn" another year! Which is why I generally do better in real life than online. Often online, the sheer statistics might be working against me -- a man might read my profile and think, "Oh, my Lord. That one is 46 years old. No way!"
In real life, I'm equally upfront about my age -- but the reaction is more likely along the lines of "46? Are you sure? You look younger!"
Age really IS a number...and attitude makes a world of difference. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/6/2008 4:41:34 AM |
I was indeed being a bit flippant with "their loss, anyway!" I'm cool with that. However, others I've encountered are not so flippant with that phrase. They really want to believe they are the others' loss. Because they never really got to know the inner thoughts and workings of the other person I'm thinking it must be most often a rationalization to protect the self. A little more pleasant to be sure but hardly different in purpose than those who will cuss up a storm when rejected by another fairly early on.
What I meant is that I get rather amused by the fine line between one age and another -- as if you age dramatically once you have a birthday and "turn" another year! But some people do age dramatically in a years time. I've seen dated photos posted on profiles that show it and I have observed it in the physical world. It is a good indicator of a person's lifestyle, health and how they dealt with all the 365 days of that last year.
Often online, the sheer statistics might be working against me -- a man might read my profile and think, "Oh, my Lord. That one is 46 years old. No way!" "might be" and "might read... and think" might be true. But what do you really gain if you -trick- a man who might think that way into liking you before you tell him the truth? Do you really want that man? If so, why if he has to be tricked and manipulated into liking you? My thought is that the hangup about age is equally with the person who would lie about it.
In real life we are animated. Not just a series of stills and text. People can see how we move. People can observe how we interact with the world around us. That can make difference in how we are perceived. But in knowing that, I've learned that until I've met someone physically, I've actually never met them. We can however get a good idea of how positive or negative the person is. What common interests and possible compatibilities we share. A lot of that information can be collected through online interactions leading us to decide whether or not to meet the other in person. Those things have very little to do with calendar age.
Age really IS a number... Age is a metric stated as a number. One of many metrics, like BMI, we can use to make a decision about other people. Do they look good for their age? If so they are likely living a healthy lifestyle. Do they look younger? Even better, healthier lifestyle.
Do they look old for their age? If so, why? Do they smoke? Use alcohol a lot? Angry, negative most or all the time? Already have health issues?
I agree "attitude makes a world of difference." The person's attitude, coupled with other factors and metrics, will explain why that person looks like their age or younger or older.
I ran across this one this morning... "Looking for man without baggage" and then... "First of all...I am 57, not 38." I've got to believe that difference is going to be noticeable! | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:11:50 AM | I don't lie about anything on my profile,.. not even the slightest fudge..
why?
The more honest and up front you are in your profile, the better your chances of finding someone who is right for you, not someone who is right for the person you made up.
The truth is always discovered eventually, so don't waste your time and theirs by lying.
It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/6/2008 12:37:52 PM | | Perhaps it comes down to this simple thought: People will stop lying about their age when others stop being ageists. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/6/2008 12:42:11 PM | ^^^^ Good point but if someone looks their age and shaves off 10 yrs or so you think they've lived a hard life... heh
| |
|
L.D.
|
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 184 | |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/19/2008 8:19:42 PM | Recently I had lunch with someone that I'd figured out was at least ten years older than me (from another site that lists schools). I sent a message and said "you're ten years older than me" but she said she wasn't, so I went back and checked the schools and I think she changed it from a high school to an elementary school, but I wasn't sure at the time, thought maybe I'd made an error.
So I had lunch with her and frankly, she looked like she was 15 years older than me. She'd been married to a Hollywood heavyweight and even had a song written about her in the 60s by a famous music duo, so I think she was still living in that and couldn't face that she was probably 70 or older (my guess).
Today I had a nice date with someone who did the "bright light in face" photo trick (when will I learn) so she looked 20 years younger in the photos than she does in person. She looks good in person, but she's really 57 not the 49 she says on her profile. I had a lunch date earlier in the week that had a similar photo to age in person look thing going on.
This kind of stuff sure doesn't help... | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 10/19/2008 9:30:55 PM | | he lied about a 3 year age diference? not a problem, now if he would have lied about his job or marital status, that would be different! | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 11/23/2008 2:18:38 AM | | I have found the same. I met a guy who said he was 39. He did the same, when I met him he said he was 43 and the age on the profile was a typo. By the end of the night he said he was 47, he to states in his profile that honesty was a strong point with him. If a guy can't be honest about his age, what else is lying about. Perhaps the wife and kids. I always thought that women lied about there age, since joining this site I have seen many guys who look like they are in their 60's claiming to be in their 40's. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 11/23/2008 10:57:56 AM |
I don't think it's so much the age as the fact that if people are prepared to lie about their age, what else are they prepared to lie about? Anyone with integrity would NOT lie about their age, and some people value integrity.
Here’s my theory….. Honesty is the easy part. To me you have to have integrity as well as the honesty. Honesty means nothing without integrity.
I was contacted not that long ago by a man whose profile read he was 31 yrs old. I replied, “You seem like a very nice person, but I have a 17 yr old son. I really need to date someone around my own age or older. I want a partner, not a playmate for my kids.”
He wrote me back, “I am actually 39.”
Now which am I to believe without actually asking for his driver’s license?
My friends will say that I am honest to a fault. I spew truths out of my mouth that can sometimes be painful. But here’s the deal…. They love me for it and for who I am.
I look for the same in a partner. I don’t want to hear that I look good if you are just saying that to rush me out the door. Tell me the truth, damn it!!!! | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 2:40:38 AM | Yes, women are the worst offenders.
And re. weight, met a woman describing themselves as average who was at least 100 pounds over a healthy weight. Another woman listed athletic, and was about 30 poundes over. | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 2:49:44 AM | But seriously, are we posters really that naive?
Many of us must have fantasies that when someone meets us, they'll like us much better than we can sell ourselves via the website. The profile is like a resume: the resume's job is to get a foot in the door, or get you an interview. I think we stretch this same reasoning to our profiles.
And if so many are doing it, it would suggest it's effective. So it's the tragedy of the commons, but is each of us not more concerned about our own loneliness and prospects than upholding the already-botched reputation of POF profiles, and online dating in general? | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 3:21:12 AM | Don't lose faith Gemini-4-you!
Sometimes people do stupid things or even tell "small" lies if it makes life better for themselves (or even better, for the greater good).
I am a VERY honest and forward person, especially if you talk to me in person. However I still have a couple of secrets I plan to take to my grave... its nothing against you, its what makes a secret a secret... you can have secrets and still be an exceptionally honest person.
Also, personally I kinda have a baby face and a voice that is a couple of octaves too high for my liking so... maybe sometimes people are just insecure about themselves?
Sometimes guys are willing to go that extra, sometimes comedic route to "get the girl", but I bet you over half of the time its well intended ;)
(NO! I did NOT just say little lies are the same as being forthright and honest so um... maybe I'm a liar for having secrets I'd rather people not knew about my past?)
G'luck! 
Patrick | |
|
| |
| |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 11:23:19 AM | I think I'm going to start lying - to those in person!
I keep meeting guys that think I'm in my mid to late 30's, when I tell them my age they lose interest probably because I'm too old (48). I think I'll tell the guy on my next date that I refuse to tell my age because of 'ageism'. | |
|
| |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 11:39:27 AM | I don't care how old someone thinks they are, lying about their age isn't going to change the fact what their real age is. It's so silly. I could say I'm 30, doesn't mean it's true. And just because you get botox or similar doesn't mean you are younger either. If you want to figure out how old people are, look at their hands and necks. Those don't lie.  | |
|
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 11:46:59 AM | I've seen some women with profiles with the age stated...then in the opening of their profile they say, "Even though I said I was 35 in my stats, I am actually 47.....people just tell me i LOOK 35, lol!"
So, I'm not sure if fudging on their profile to get the age range they want, in order to be able to correspond with them, and then stating in the profile their REAL age, then patting themselves on the back for saying how much younger they REALLY look would justify anything? Hm, interesting. | |
|
ml456
|
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 200 | |
| Why would you lie about your age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 12:29:25 PM | The same reason why people lie about their height, weight, profession, martial status etc. People feel that if they were completely honest about these things, they would get less attention on these sites. I'm not endorsing this type of behavior. I'm uust explaining why some people do this.
I agree. I also think they feel the other person would "overlook" these lies due to personality. | |
|
Home
login 
