| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:10:54 PM | I have no problem with anyone's opinion provided it can be supported. In fact, I don't even mind if it doesn't match my own, provided a person can rationalize their views. What I don't like is someone who will argue everything just for the sake of belitting someone else. I'm not sure what success has to do with anything- are successful people the only ones allowed to have opinions? Does a person with an opinion have to owe the bank a couple hundred grand to say they own their own home?
I'm not sure where that plays in, but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't.
eno | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:12:52 PM | I like and would want a women to speak her mind. But a rant or rave, for it seems the only reason is to cloud over the original topic, is a bush wacker look out | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:15:15 PM | better to know where you stand than not to know if you're on solid ground or quicksand.
People are only together as long as they choose to be together.
Remember that. Once one of the two decides that the relationship isn't worth being in, that's the end of the relationship.
People who choose to be together are usually happier than ones who are together due to necessity.
Better to have someone who speaks openly and honestly without dancing around the issue in my opinion. | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:30:56 PM | sure
as long as she is not full of herself and hates men, because she only goes out with the bad ones and groups every men out there as being negative, just because of that one guy who F' it up for her. LOL
so yeah, women who speak their minds are good, the ones who are full of it are not. | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:38:50 PM | Sadly OP (not to say it's not a valid question), but should we even have to ask if I guy wants a woman who knows how to speak her mind? This is 2008. As mentioned before, as long as it's not an unsolidified rant.
Unfortunately the men who will say no are likely the same ones who would to keep chivalry alive only for the sake of patronizing a woman. Pathetic indeed. | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:43:36 PM | | u could safely assume that different guys would like different things . for me , Im highly educated and i like to read and write. I can't see myself with a woman who is a pushover and doesnt have her own opinions on things. brains is the most attractive thing in a woman | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:41:26 PM |
No, because the self-proclaimed "independent type" are usually abrasive, obnoxious, and incapable of accepting other people's points of view if they are in contrast to their own. Want proof? Look at any thread started by a self-proclaimed "independent" woman. Then look at their responses to people who have differing opinions. They never ever "take what they give". NEVER! Sorry, but what you have managed to meet there was an obnoxious abrasive person, which has nothing to do with whether she's independent or not. Feeling the need to be obnoxious or abrasive is generally a sign of a self-esteem issue. They feel the need to dominate, because they feel like they have no control over their own lives without it. People the world over say a lot of things and see themselves incorrectly. Just like some guys that declare themselves nice guys might not be nice guys, there are some women who declare themselves as independent that aren't.
I see myself as one an independent women, but not so much because of my income or being in a decision-making position (I'm not), but because I've done the inner analysis it takes to find out who I am and where I want to go in life. I like conversations where both opinions are included. I have been proven wrong, and I have been right sometimes. I know where my issues lie and how to work around them, or when I just need to walk away. I have worked for a few of the types you mentioned that didn't see that they viewed independence as being in control of others, and then wondered why they just couldn't gain control of some. That type does not make a good leader whether they are male or female.
Signs of independence (as I see it, of course):
1) Financial independence.
2) Self esteem that is independent of what someone else thinks of them.
3) The ability to realize when one has made a mistake and to say "I'm sorry."
4) The ability to set goals and pursue them whether another is involved or not.
5) Making oneself happy instead of demanding that someone else make them happy.
6) When one has a problem, can that person either look at the problem and figure out a solution, or know how to get the correct people involved to fix it? Or, does that person always need to call a parent or boyfriend to get instructions constantly. Once in a while I can understand, because no one knows everything, but I have meet a few that are constant about it.
7) Is that person completely ruled by their issues? Most people have some sort of baggage, but many figure out what it is and how to deal with it. The most annoying people will not just have amazing amounts of baggage, but they will deny they have any and any off the wall reaction they have to something gets blamed on someone else. | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 8:56:35 PM |
Or do you guys seek out more of the needy type?
Hell no... needy, and helpless are major turn offs. I look for strong, independent types who can communicate on an adult level, which means being just as capable of listening (and hearing) as talking. There is absolutely nothing wrong with speaking your mind, being direct, honest, and assertive, just so long as it does not cross the line into being aggressive, and overbearing (no one likes a mouthy jerk man, or woman). | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 9:30:59 PM |
......... the self-proclaimed "independent type" are usually abrasive, obnoxious, and incapable of accepting other people's points of view if they are in contrast to their own. Want proof? Look at any thread started by a self-proclaimed "independent" woman. Then look at their responses to people who have differing opinions. They never ever "take what they give". NEVER!
Absolutely correct.
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:15:31 PM | Do guys like women who speak their minds?
I suppose that it depends.
First, it depends on the guy. Some do, some don't. The variety of the answers by the guys on this topic would seem to back that up.
Second, with respect to voicing her opinions, it might well depend on what the subject matter is. It might also be the manner in which the opinion was voiced. The old not what you say, but how you say it thing. You can still have an opinion, a strong one, and still voice it without being off-putting about it. Some women just have a voice that lends itself to talking, while others don't have that same ability. But when you characterize it as "dishing it out" you almost set yourself up to be in an adversarial position. It's not clear to me that anyone needs to start there.
Third, just because someone has an opinion about the topic at hand, doesn't necessarily mean that an opinion need be expressed or ought to be said. Sometimes silence is golden. Not all the time, but at times. The difficult thing is knowing when to say something and when not to say anything much.
Do guys seek out the more needy type? Again, It depends on the man.
My 0.02 | |
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| Do Guys Like Independent Women?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:25:41 PM |
but I am referring to the "independent type" that can speak her mind and take care of herself,,,,,but wants a man at the same time
That's what I figured from the OP.
You need to do an independent thread search to see how many times the guys on this forum have already answered that | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:31:21 PM | No real man wants a total airhead...The vast majority want an independent, self sustained woman as a partner...
Men DO however stay away from "Successful Independent" types who proclaim it non-stop i.e. "I dont NEED a man" and then expects him to still hold open doors, pay for dinner etc...Thats where some "Independent Women" screw up. | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:32:30 PM | In my experience "I speak my mind" and "I tell it like it is" are the way people justify being arrogant a5sholes who push unwelcome opinions onto people.
You want to know something? Everyone speaks their mind. What, do you think some people speak with other people's minds? I guess the real question is whether or not they speak. Well, you know what? NOT speaking is what makes our society work, not the other way around.
"This dinner is bad. You aren't a very good cook."
"You're not very attractive."
"What happened to your legs? Did you lose them in the war?"
"Hi, you're black. That's quite rare in this neighbourhood."
"Wow, you have nice breasts for a 13 year old."
Our society is built on NOT saying things we're thinking. Er... not that I'd think that last thing.
That's not to say there's anything wrong with honesty. A strong woman with strong (even if controversial) opinions is a very very good thing. But there's also a major factor in HOW you say things, which is often more important than WHAT you say.
I guess you need to ask yourself... are you "speaking your mind"? Or are you just a b*tch? | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/2/2008 10:33:22 PM |
Signs of independence (as I see it, of course):
1) Leads by example rather than hoping self-proclamation will be enough to convince everybody.
2) See 1.
People who really are independent can stand alone. As a result they don't need to start forum threads seeking the approval or admiration of others. | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/3/2008 6:25:30 AM |
Leads by example rather than hoping self-proclamation will be enough to convince everybody. That I completely agree with. I will have to admit though that it's irritating when dealing with those who automatically assume I'm incapable due to me being female. Funny, but one of the worst ones is my own mother, who several times a year tells me I shouldn't be out riding my motorcycle alone and that it would be different if I was a guy. She feels I should have a guy with me every time I leave home. She also asks me what I'm going to do once I'm old. I have my own retirement, so I don't see where I need someone to care for me when I'm old either. If I become incapable, then I go into assisted living until I'm broke, at which point the state sticks my elderly @ss somewhere. Considering how many elderly get abandoned every year despite having been married and having kids, I don't see how that becomes a more secure retirement plan than just taking care of myself.
People who really are independent can stand alone. As a result they don't need to start forum threads seeking the approval or admiration of others. I don't know why this thread was started since it's been done to death. I can't say all threads show a sign of dependence, because having a second opinion is sometimes very useful. I know I have threads on forums elsewhere on the Net regarding my motorcycle just to see if others have the same bike issues and how they fixed them versus how I had planned to fix it. Have they maybe discovered a little piece of knowledge that I was lacking? I know I have sometimes discovered something cool that others said wouldn't work, and then posted it and how I went about it. Granted, yes, I end up all proud of myself considering there are people far more qualified to find the cool thing I did. I guess I don't always see an exchange of ideas as showing a lack of independence. If the person really is just approval seeking, then yes, it's a sign of emotional dependence. Of course, having to advertise oneself is a bit of an "approval seeking" behavior. One hopes that another will think highly enough of them to go on a date with them, or whatever that person is seeking. | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:29:03 AM |
Now, I am talking about a woman who is sucessful, who has her own home and means of survival and doesnt want a man to take care of her, but rather to be with her. Or do you guys seek out more of the needy type? Inquiring minds want to know! I cannot understand why a competent, accomplished--which implies, IMPLIES, self-confidence--and independent woman needs to speak her mind in what I'm inferring from your words in such a confrontational manner.
If she can accomplish all of what you've stated without opening her mouth to reveal the massive sequoia-chip on her shoulder, then she displays the kind of confidence I think men will find attractive. The in-your-face so-called "successful" woman would probably do well to check why she has such a need to rub it in the face of others...as should the in-your-face so-called "successful" man. | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/3/2008 11:58:28 AM | ^^^ Schadenfreudian has said it perfectly. He has expressed the viewpoints of what many men have posted, time and time, on threads such as this one.
A woman who has opinions is often well-respected. To keep saying them again and again, is "preaching". It makes men think that she doesn't believe what she was saying, because if she did, why would she need to keep saying it?
If a woman really has strong opinions, it seems to me that the most effective way to attract men is to act on them, but never say them, and that the most effective way to repel men is to say them time and time again, but never act on them. | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/3/2008 9:39:15 PM | Do men like independent, smart, confident women?
Do women like nice, caring, loving guys?
What's common to those two questions is that they should be read as:
LOOK AT ME!
LOOK AT ME!
Look at me NOW!
It's fun to have fun
But you have to know how.
I can hold UP the cup
And the milk and the cake.... **
In other words: Look at ME! Pick ME!
Cuz
I am so independent/smart/confident/nice/caring/loving girl/guy!
Just in case you did not notice when you were browsing...
That is why we have one of those questions being asked at least twice a day, to the point that they are becoming sickening 
Sorry OP, but I guess I am a mean, old, lady who likes to speak her mind....
**(Dr. Seuss "The Cat in the Hat") | |
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| Do Guys Like Women Who Speak Their Minds?
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:56:32 AM | | well i cant speak for every guy , but i like it when woman speak there minds, i always tell woman i date never hold anything back even if i dont like what u gotta say. I find relationships are so much better when the communication is strong and your not afraid to tell your partner how you feel or whats on your mind. | |
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