| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:49:51 PM | Calling you gay is namecalling? Hm. You see this as an insult? I merely stated the fact that from my observations, you appear to have homosexual tendencies. Who is the homophobe here?
I didn't question your sexuality. I labeled it.
And now I am going to state my opinion on wasting time posting with you further. You seem intent on taking this topic Off topic and pull it down to immature hair pulling and name calling. There is an old saying "Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level and then beat you with experience".
I think you've pretty much got it wrapped up. Celebrate your success by yourself. | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:53:50 PM | | I think hypocrisy was spelled correctly... but ya'll should play nice before the big fish cancels this show! *someone pass the popcorn* | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 8:28:28 PM | older blonde chick who keeps singling me out (sorry i forget your name and i'm too lazy to go back and look), you said that i'm calling everybody a moron. I merely called one person a moron, with a quote of what i was referring to, to boot, because he said that the father of the children shouldn't be spending time with said children in his exwife's house. I find that moronic, because I feel as though the parents having a good relationship will have more of a positive outcome on the children, as opposed to how he pictured it of being more of a drop off/pick up situation.
as and for questioning my sexuality... i assume that you meant that seriously? because what i've said here somehow insinuates that i'm homosexual. i hope thats the case, otherwise you're being severely inappropriate. you may have homosexual friends, but how would they feel if you were using their sexuality to possibly insult somebody, because you have clearly run out of ideas to insult people with. its tactless. i remember when i was in high school, we had to take this class because so many children were running around using words like gay and faggot to insult their classmates, and we were taught that using somebody's sexuality is one of the most ignorant things you can do. now, if you are really questioning my sexuality, you are severely off topic in this thread. if you wanted to ask, you could just email me. but if you want bring it up in some thread about husbands and wives and girlfriends and whatnot, maybe you have a larger issue. i don't care if you have 100 gay friends, its still inappropriate. i love when people use that as an excuse. if they were really your friends, you would respect their sexuality and not use it as an insult. i too have gay friends, but the difference between you and i is that i would never use somebody's sexuality to insult them. to me, calling somebody gay is the same as calling somebody straight. there is no hidden insult to be taken.
and as for the rest of you, i may have called ONE person a moron, but i feel as though it was the most moronic statement in this thread, up until i read the homophobic blonde chick's remarks. | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 8:49:11 PM | Kamloops and Wowsad i'm not sure you are getting the part of the OPs post where she said she was pleased her new bf and his ex got on well, and there are not many people on here saying that is a bad thing. Many of us get on well with our ex's... BUT to discuss our sex lives with them, well that is another story altogether.
Kamloops you almost seem to be saying that she shouldn't object to it because the ex and him are mates. Don't forget that half of that sexual union was her so she should have some kind of say in who gets to find out the info about it. I would be p1ssed if my guy got an email like that from one of his MALE friends asking about sexual info (let alone his ex wife) that would tell me that he blabs to all his mates about our private business, and i don't want someone in my life who blatently disrespects me like that. Especially if his mate is uncouth enough to ask the question when i am still in the bed with him.
If my new partner did that and i expressed being uncomfortable with it, but he could see no problem and continued to do it again it would be the end of the relationship. I mean how far is it allowed to go? Maybe the ex wife should start asking if the OP is good in bed, or how tight she is, or if she enjoys him going down on her, maybe how she tastes, if she gives good head etc, i mean where do you draw the line? or do you think it is acceptable for him to share all that information as well with his ex wife? Myabe if the ex husband was asking all those questions about you and she was happily answering them for him you would have a different response | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 9:02:19 PM | I dont think OP has any "rights" to limit what rights others have. Her Bf's ex could dance around in a helium filled clown suit singing flight of the bumblee, and OP has no authority to limit that. BUT!!!!! if you want to tell your BF, "Please don't talk to other people about our private life, including your ex wife" then by all means you have every right to ask a lover to keep your business private. Unless he is a cop or fireman or emergency electrical utility worker, why not ask him to "please turn off your cell phone if you are at my house".
As to the people who think this is a good healthy thing for divorced couples, ie, ex's texting ex's in the morning asking if they shagged their new lover....that is sillier than silly. I have an exwife and I have a wonderful Gf (for now), and neither one of them hears much about the other, except on a "need to know basis", since I am a top secret agent.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------OP WROTE-----------------------------------------------------------------
There is a line and I believe she crossed it. I also do not like the fact that he feels he has to answer her honestly cos they are "friends and you are honest with your friends".
Op the exwife didn't cross anyline, your issue is with your BF has his moral/spiritual character. I hope he isn't this stupid as a whole.
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 9:33:56 PM |
Actually, in this wonderful land of ours, we have the "right" to say whatever we want to whoever we want, whenever we want.
With any right comes responsibility. The responsibility in this case is should I say it rather than I can say it. Responsible adults have learned that.
And if you truely believed in what you said above, you would not be reacting and posting in such a manner that you are. Again, just whom is the insecure one? | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 9:46:31 PM |
I think its great they can be like that as so many parents are not these days. I do not like the fact that she has accessed his profile and 'checked me out' or the fact that she asks him these personal questions regarding his sex life with me. There is a line and I believe she crossed it. I also do not like the fact that he feels he has to answer her honestly cos they are "friends and you are honest with your friends." I have told him how I feel but I am still uncomfortable with it as this is only a new realtionship for me and I was wondering whether I was just being too insecure thats all.
I don't think you are being too insecure, but I also don't think that the ex is the issue--she has the right to behave within her friendship towards him however he permits her too. The problem is him and his lack of willingness to instill some boundaries when it comes to what they talk about, if for no other reason than the fact that you are uncomfortable with being witness to her overly (and embarrassingly) personal text messages.
I don't know whether the answer is for him to stop having these kinds of conversations with his ex or whether it's something as simple as just showing enough basic decorum to stop making you a party to them (showing you her texts, etc.) Truly, it all sounds terribly immature to me (her questions, and his telling you about them). But either way, the second you expressed discomfort with this and he didn't respond in a way to do something about that, he started showing you disrespect...IMO.
It would be unreasonable for you to insist he not be friends with his ex. But it's NOT unreasonable to express some dismay over witnessing THIS kind of (vulgar and prying) conversation, that is, after all, about YOU. | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 10:15:23 PM | ["Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level and then beat you with experience".]
Ditto Bethlett.
This guy Kamloops is so pathetic I would be very surprised if a girl would actually date him. Sorry I change that to a 'decent, respectable girl'.
Anyway I have noticed that he is basically just arguing for the sake of it and not actually getting anywhere (except for maybe in his own strange mind) so I too am going to adhere to Bethletts quote!!! I am expecting a bite but at least I have a sense of humour and find this rather entertaining! | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 10:46:48 PM | Dear OP Galaxyquest:
One of the wonderous things about the forum is that if you decide to post a thread where you ask for opinion or advice, its pretty easy to winnow out who you should actually listen to and who you shouldn't. You have the benefit of reading their past posts in their histories, and observing the way they conduct themselves on the forum. Often, before taking any plethora of opinion or advice to heart, its best to review profiles, read histories, see what type of person is actually doing the spewing. LOLOL.
One thing for sure....a quick read through the forum will pretty much easily illustrate who is going to be single for the rest of their lives and who is not. 
I wish you luck with your boyfriend. I, personally, would not have put up with that behavior even one time, but each to their own. And no matter what anyone says here about "friends"...it is my opinion that the ex wife not only DID cross the line, she KNOWS she is crossing the line, she is INTENTIONALLY crossing the line, and she is doing it with malice and forethought. It is further my opinion that the reason he is divorced is that he was too easy of a game for her.....and he's still that same old easily manipulateable game.
I would think long and hard about whether one should want a man who revels in middle school level manipulation. Night! | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 11:50:38 PM | | Good to know I won't be dating Kamplops any time soon. I might see my sex life plastered on the 6pmnews-ha. Sorry guy but your wrong. I have tons of men friends and the all do NOT have to share sex stories with their other friends. Actually according to the psych world that is a sign of insecurity and immaturity right there.(Something you accussed the girl of huh?) An argument can be made that a real men stays quiet. Also, your language is offensive. No one can really know the situation if you are not in it yourself. | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 11:54:48 PM | The bottom line is that no gf has the right to decide how 2 friends should converse or confide.
When its about her she has a right and if she is smart enough she will dump his stuip ass, people that will take about what goes on behind closed doors will never have any kind of a realtionship, what they do is between them and not the world and it dont matter if they are friends, really if thier friends feel they have a right to know what he is doing i figure those types of friends are real low lifes. | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/3/2008 11:56:21 PM | | And you know every man in the whole world and how they feel huh? Hey dude I have some names of great psychologists that canhelp you with you anger management issues if your interested let me know and I can email you some. I am being serious. | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:58:07 AM | Firstly i think he should respet your feelings on this and be glad you arnt too bothered about his contact with his ex. It is called RESPECT.
Oh please - you are dripping with insecurity. You cannot except the fact the she is "the friend" not "the ex".
And, I hate to break the bad news to you dear, but the way you blow him, how your t1ts taste, whether you scream or moan are all the domain of conversation among friends. Real friends share that information and they are obviously close enough to each other to be that kind of friend. Get a clue.
You are the one who can get over their past, even though they can.
This is 100% your problem, your dysfunction and your insecurity - you just need to admit it and move on.
A "REAL MAN" shares sex stories with his buddies; respect is not the issue.
Ref the quote above: You say that respect is not an issue but from your reply i doubt you dont know what it even means. Women like real men but i wonder if what they see as a real man is the same as what you do? I wonder how many women on here who read your reply felt the urge to message you?? | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:45:54 AM | Wow,
My ex and I are friends but we don't tell each other our individual personal life stories... and ex is an ex.... How can one move on with ex baggage/friend in the picture there is no room for change or growth, no new anything, because the past is clinging, it's just a continued intermixing lifestyles that will not work in a relationship with a new b/f or g/f who has something wonderful to offer. That is an aweful lot to ask someone new to accept an ex/friend, because there is (I repeat) no changes, just a mixed up world of past relationship mentalities and feelings that go on and on and on.... drama, drama and more drama.
A new life and a new relationship deserves a new beginning, which comes with changes. Friends don't dwell in every friends thoughts, in every friends actions and neither do real friends cling and want to be involved in personal matters, unless it effecting their friend's health, etc. Friends are not dumping grounds for other friends problems! If friends are second then friends need to show respect for other people too, especially if that new friendship involves a new friend in the picture.
Some ex's just can't back off and be a real friend and these types can't seem to let go and get a new life.
Some just can't leave things alone and move on and be the right kind of friend.
Peace!
Chela
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:23:10 AM | k despite the fact the thread became a bit of a train wreck, an entertaining one ,but still, I think the bottom line is how you feel about the whole thing.
do you feel disrespected? personally I wouldn't think it was cool and would tell him to kindly *NOT* talk to her (or anyone else for that matter) about what goes on in the bedroom.
the ex is insecure and trying to cover it up by her lame attempt at humour/friendship.
I mean really "did you shag?" gimme a break!!! | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:30:39 AM | If you are this worried about things at the start of the relationship, do you really think that it has legs to go the distance. As an outside observer I would say no. Best of luck all the same.
I am sure his ex will be checking out your profile from his account and tracking this message by the way - the walls have ears! | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:43:42 AM | One more thing OP, you will know the difference when time and time again you go to the mailbox and you look through your mail and his mail, and you begin to notice a pattern that the only other mail your getting with friends name on it, is the ex's! Then you will begin to see the difference between friends and ex's/friends.
Take Care of You!
Chela | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:03:04 AM | | Chela, you are a genius, so is Ron!. Yeah, "friends" don't hang out all day at houses, don't text each other 5x day, don't buy them cellphones, laptops, etc. Dont write long long emails, don't talk on the phone for an hour every nite. I know a guy who wanted to get it on with a lady, but things didn't work out, he still wants her so they are just freinds....she is the only person he writes long personal emails to, runs over to watch tv, calls every day....he even remembers this freind on Valentines day... | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:39:31 AM | ^^^
That is not the definition of a friend. That is the definition of "unrequited love".
Sounds like you are taking this a bit personal to me. And a guy who does all that crap after having been rejected? I believe its called "pu$$y whipped"? | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:05:33 PM | | Ok I want to delete this thread now but am unsure how.....who can help please???? | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:32:55 PM | galaxy...i think if you hit the delete button on the post it will send it to the moderator for a deletion, I just tried to do it & looks like it would work.
I wish you the best of luck truly! | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:09:41 AM | | You can't delete a thread you started. You have to write a moderator and request that it be deleted. | |
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| new man and his ex
Posted: 1/17/2008 10:21:56 PM | | Right..... we got a problem here i think... | |
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