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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:29:41 PM | Sales experience is an incredible confidence booster. Once you know you can handle a "cold" situation you feel there is little you can not do. And if you don't it just rolls off your shoulders.
Sales experience quickly teaches you a lot about people and the human psyche. Now I dunno if I can agree that it will make you funnier but it'll certainly improve every other part of your "game". | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:38:33 PM |
REALLY, that being said and after reading your post I bet life is a real ball hanging out with you!
I DID mention that I'm funny. My actual post was quite serious, but normally, yes, I'm funny. Like... "currently in negotiations for a tv show" funny.
I never thought one could be Jaded about humor, color me surprised.
Ah! Thus proving my impression of your intellect! I'm not jaded about humour! The power and grace of humour is a constant source of both inspiration and strength. I love a good comedy, I love that feeling where you're laughing so hard it hurts. I'm not jaded about humour!
I'm jaded about WOMEN. :P
com·e·dy
1. a play, movie, etc., of light and humorous character with a happy or cheerful ending; a dramatic work in which the central motif is the triumph over adverse circumstance, resulting in a successful or happy conclusion.
2. that branch of the drama which concerns itself with this form of composition.
3. the comic element of drama, of literature generally, or of life.
4. any literary composition dealing with a theme suitable for comedy, or employing the methods of comedy.
5. any comic or humorous incident or series of incidents.
Funny, the dictionary includes words such as 'composition' and 'method'. Am I missing something here?
YEP! You're missing the fact that the definition of a word is ONE of those things, not all of them at once. What you refer to as "comedy" is really not what you want at all. You want humour. Comedy is a genre. Humour is what makes it funny. Your use of the term "comedy" suggests a complete lack of understanding on the topic. You don't want to learn comedy. You want to have wit, to have humour. That's something that's hard to learn.
What you've done here is looked up the wrong word and gotten a definition that you've misunderstood and tried to bundle all the definitions in together. Comedy in that first definition is a play. A specific work of art. Unless you're going to recite Much Ado About Nothing to the ladies, it won't work. 2 and 4 refer to that genre. Three is the closest to your desired definition, but you'll notice that even there it's mostly relating it to drama, literature, etc. "Oh, and life". There can be comedy in life. Funny things that happen, usually of the "people falling down" variety. But in the main the humour of life has to be pulled out. Seen by someone who is funny, made funny for everyone else.
You appear to me to be a rather dry, rude, and humourless man, and you seem to be trying to inject "comedy" into yourself like it will bring you to life. I get an image of a mad scientist in lightning bellowing "IT'S AMUUUUUSING!". It won't work that way.
I refer you to Post #33 'DARKNIGHT' and the response of a good hearted 'reasonable' man.
Indeed, but shynight had the advantage of me in that he actually wants to help you and doesn't think you're a complete jerk. It sounds like a really good book. There's also a documentary on comedy done by John Cleese, which is fascinating as well. Oh, and very funny, of course. I don't see a book like this teaching you anything, because I think your funnybone was removed at birth and replaced with a pencil sharpener, but there is still potential. As I said, humour is a mix of intelligence and confidence. I think the first part is a lost cause, but enough confidence will make up for that, and a book like this could help you be more confident in yourself, and more aware of what you should and shouldn't do. The poster above who got funnier through sales is a good example. His confidence was increased, and he was able to be funnier.
As a last comment to the OP: Sir you are very rude to people who have tried to help you. Had you not been I would have been nothing but support. As it stands though, I am merely enjoying the fact that this thread stands as a monument to your rudeness. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:36:41 PM | ah, no, sorry dude, thanks for filling me in on what you 'think' or 'feel' I asked for. No wonder women have trouble with us at times, some days we feel we need to 'tell' others what they want rather than "Hear" what they want.
If I didn't feel like, oh what was that so well written (helpful) insult again?, oh yes,"a dry, rude and humorless man" why might I be on this adventure? Wow, and I'm the intellectually challenged huh?
Suck it up! And get over it, Buttercup!
P.S. Hey don't comedians usually have a good comeback that really makes an impression or do they simply beat it into people with reason and rationale. Kudos for the insults, too bad they couldn't have been funnier, I mean, you being a comedian and all. oh yeah "....lol" | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:24:17 PM |
No wonder women have trouble with us at times, some days we feel we need to 'tell' others what they want rather than "Hear" what they want.
This is like Lex Luther giving tips to Superman about how he should be fighting crime...
You can't get all defensive because you asked a question and didn't like the honest answer. Basically you're right on par right now with "Do these pants make my butt look big?" but your problem, metaphorically speaking is that your butt is making the pants look huge. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:27:04 AM | 3 years in sales changed that. Rooms roll with laughter now.
And then you drill, practice, drill, practice, apply, bomb big time, bomb again, but now you don't care and suddenly you're not just sticking the landing, but enjoying going off tangent and having fun. Can it be learn? You're proof of it. | |
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Tyeee
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Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 82 | |
| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:30:25 AM |
I think this quote from above...
As a last comment to the OP: Sir you are very rude to people who have tried to help you. Had you not been I would have been nothing but support. As it stands though, I am merely enjoying the fact that this thread stands as a monument to your rudeness.
... summarizes this thread nicely.
Some guys are so "kewl" they freeze the room and their audience. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:33:46 AM | Msg# 82: Screw the OP topic huh? Let's willy nilly around here and whine! Just like children! At least the other dude had a point to go with his insults.
Anyway ADD is the dumbest thing ever, it's not even a nervous compulsion it's just being super bored all the time.
Hmmm, I am condescending huh? Meaning 'I feel' superior? The quote above is from you, yes? Sounds like you know it all, huh? Any chance someone made a mistake and 'misdiagnosed you? Where did you get your doctorate? The coffee shop? 3 1/2 years without a committed relationship huh? What is there no one up to your standards? Go back to your comic books Clark....tee hee, I couldn't resist!
YES, I state where I stand on issues and sometimes people don't agree, the part in me that is a MAN and an individual says that that is ok, I feel no need to whine or abuse others about it.
Many a woman might actually prefer to know where I stand, as opposed to the "nice guys" that stand "no where" and thereby are "impossible to please" because they are so busy doing what the 'ladies' like to do. My experience tells me that a woman 'likes' to "PLEASE HER MAN" as well as be "pleased by her man".
Now, if you don't mind,(and I know you do) I would like to get back to the intent of my OP, , I'd rather be having fun, laughing, and living than putting up with whiners.
Explosive Sheep what is that? A wussy that has temper tantrums?.....backwards....lmafao!
 , just watch, he'll take the bait....lol  | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:39:34 AM | | Damn, Damn, Damn, The post above was not in response to Msg#82, I meant Msg# 81, My apologies to Msg# 82 poster. I actually always enjoy your posts, they stay out of the fracas and 'spot on topic'. I love your wisdom my friend and I hope you find your 'sole' mate....lol | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:43:20 AM | Msg: 82: The quote below from you, Oh so true, and I'm about to call this thread 'nuclear'
And then you drill, practice, drill, practice, apply, bomb big time, bomb again, but now you don't care and suddenly you're not just sticking the landing, but enjoying going off tangent and having fun. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:45:07 AM |
Wow, jaded place huh? Miss "I don't go for jokes" , you read many WOMENS profiles? wtf? I must apologize, I messed up, didn't realize the Internet is only for you and we are all here just chasin' your ass....sigh! As to the 'conversation' comment well there is a different thread for that isn't there.....double sigh! I believe I said 'COMEDY'.
Hmmm...NOW who's looking jaded? FYI, there's a difference between jokes and having a sense of humor. I agree with this person you were so quick to insult and cast aside...conversation is what's most important.
I like someone with a sense of humor too, but I also tire of hearing someone just rattling off a stream of jokes. The sense of humor has to be a part of his personality, not some lame jokes that he's memorized and is able to recite.
I don't think I'd worry too much about it if I were you though, with a personality like you're showing here, no amount of comedy, jokes, or anything else you might try in an attempt to disguise your true personality is going to help. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 10:13:03 AM | Msg# 87: Did you not see this post in response to her?
Look up 'comprehension' in the dictionary, then reread my OP (original post), reread your reply and inform me on how they are related. Do these statements of your post answer the questions asked? If so, How?
Yes, I'm a prick, I also have one.....and I love it! | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 10:21:46 AM | Poly.....: I am laughing my ass off after reading one of your posts.
I like to watch ONE show on TV (House)
That 'House' He's such a nice, innocent, sweet man, always so considerate and kind, I have a feeling some people just 'love' to watch train wrecks. Do you?
ah, and no, I don't do poly whatever, and I don't want a cracker, or even to take a crack at her! | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 6:29:25 PM | Yeah but unlike House you're not funny.
Also, ADD if you're diagnosed with something they give you the run down on it, thanks for bringing that in here. Besides explain how something can be an abnormal disorder when over half the population is diagnosed with it? Anyway congratulations on taking 1 sentence out of context and trying to make me look bad with it, everyone's backing you up in droves now.
Oh right and as to my 3 and a half years of alone time, the first year I wasn't looking due to being a slight bit devastated, the other 2 and a half... well needless to say I'll have better luck when I'm older, because compared to you I'm the definition of maturity and I'm like half your age.
Oh and the gut I got workin on here isn't helping with the women piling in either. Still how long have you been single? You seem about 100 times more bitter than I am about it! | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:58:07 PM |
ah, no, sorry dude, thanks for filling me in on what you 'think' or 'feel' I asked for. No wonder women have trouble with us at times, some days we feel we need to 'tell' others what they want rather than "Hear" what they want.
I'm not disputing what you think you want. I'm making the point that your sense of humour is so lacking that you barely even have a clear concept of humour. My issues with you don't revolve around your sense of humour. They revolve around your incredible rudeness. People here posted genuinely helpful feedback and you dismissed them rudely. That's not acceptable, and I thought you should be told so.
P.S. Hey don't comedians usually have a good comeback that really makes an impression or do they simply beat it into people with reason and rationale. Kudos for the insults, too bad they couldn't have been funnier, I mean, you being a comedian and all. oh yeah "....lol"
I've seen some good comebacks from comedians. But I'm not a comedian. I'm just a guy who's funny. Note the difference...? Oh, no, that's right... you don't. You've made it painfully clear that you don't comprehend the difference beween "comedy", "jokes" and "humour". You don't understand the difference between being witty in conversation with someone, and reading from a joke book.
Forgive me for attempting to use reason and rationale. Clearly unwelcome in your life. Forgive me also for not bothering to be "funny" for you. I simply don't consider you worthy of the effort.
Go back to your comic books Clark....tee hee, I couldn't resist!
Possibly the worst put-down ever. For a start, "tee hee"? *shudder* It really shows the depth of your humour that you actually think that's funny.
Many a woman might actually prefer to know where I stand, as opposed to the "nice guys" that stand "no where" and thereby are "impossible to please" because they are so busy doing what the 'ladies' like to do. My experience tells me that a woman 'likes' to "PLEASE HER MAN" as well as be "pleased by her man".
Dude, seriously, stop it with the quotes. That made little enough sense without confusing it with meaningless quotation marks that have no purpose.
That 'House' He's such a nice, innocent, sweet man, always so considerate and kind, I have a feeling some people just 'love' to watch train wrecks. Do you?
Stated already, but House is funny. He's intelligent and clever. He's rude, but he's rude because he's smarter than everyone else, and he has a sense of superiority that we all secretly admire. People laugh with House being mean to people. They're laughing AT you.
You can't just grab random quotes from other threads and bring them in here to make your point. It's out of context, and tremendously pointless. You'd understand that if... meh, you get my point.
ah, and no, I don't do poly whatever, and I don't want a cracker, or even to take a crack at her!
Witty. Not funny at all, and also over played.
Explosive Sheep what is that? A wussy that has temper tantrums?.....backwards....lmafao!
This gives a fascinating insight into both your intelligence and your sense of humour. For a start... it just makes no sense. It's a bad put-down lacking any concept of meaning or cleverness. I don't get it. It's silly. BUT you "lmafao"ed it (which is an ass too many, by the way) which means clearly you THINK it's hystical. Much is revealed!
I await wounding by your Wildean and witty wordplay now. I haven't been in a committed relationship for nearly three years myself, by the way. Also I wear glasses. So the "Clark" comment might work better on me. I don't have ADD, but I'm a bit colour blind. Oh, and I've got a bit of a cough.
You should be able to work something out to lampoon me with. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:07:24 PM | Msg# 90: Go play drama queen with someone else!
I actually have the affliction and it has caused much heartache in my life for over 40 years. I do not appreciate the inference that people with the disorder are simply "bored". I accept and deal with this ADD every MOMENT of my life. Yours is apparently different for you, and, I thank you for spreading the generalization that I may be able to simply conquer it with willpower, of that I have an abundance, yet I still struggle. I am a winner not a whiner.
Listen dude, I have read some of what you write and you aren't all that far off of the mark, some of what you say in other threads makes some good sense.
Please don't let your idea or sense of chivalry get in your way, at this moment, in your life. I'm not sure what's up with those that choose to support folks that make off the cuff remarks rather than stay on a topic, especially in the beginning of the thread.
Sometimes "some" folks deserve little respect for their unhelpful remarks. She simply was put in her place, and deservedly so! Get over it!
Good  to you! | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:09:42 PM | I see you're back spreading laughter and cheer huh?
I get it I'm unfunny and you believe that I will never be.
Did it really need as many words(I'm not going to read it...lol) as that!
Go suck a fish! And Good luck with the show! | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:05:33 PM | | haha, man you can't tell people that you put a woman in her place, that's just very badly worded and going to be miscontrued or taken out of context, that's assuming it's even all that good in context haha. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:39:03 PM | Rather than focus on jokes, I like to focus on smiles. Be positive about life, take things lightly, don't talk about the war in Iraq or Biodeisel ( I do on purpose, so they kiss me to shut me up). Practice that tinkle in your eye and keep that twinkle off the seat. LEARN HOW TO FLIRT, i've told my 13 yo son to walk up to a woman (errr, girl) and stand next to her and say "Hi" so she can sense your aura (they are real, see recent posts here!)
YOU MIGHT HAVE A COUPLE OF GOOD JOKES, that you tell everyone you know once....Not telling one person you know the same joke everytime. Learn to see humor in everyday life, without being sarcastic. There is a time and a place for everything. For example, don't do like me and cuss at every old Korean lady who can't drive a car and should be in a cab or bus, instead, about 1x per month you can let out a sigh when caught be behind a yellow light and almost rearended, causing $3800 damage. And thats a funny thing you can pass on to those "anti road rage" nimwits, assuming you don't want to date her.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EDIT: quote/ah, no, sorry dude, thanks for filling me in on what you 'think' or 'feel' I asked for. No wonder women have trouble with us at times, some days we feel we need to 'tell' others what they want rather than "Hear" what they want/quote-------------------
Ok, sorry, I thought there was a chance you could have a sense of humor, but reading OP's replies I see nothing but rejection of society. Might I suggest you become a sociopath, and use lies and abuse to get a woman, as comedy and humor seem beyond you. Let alone gratitude or the abillity to listen and learn. It figures you would like message 82.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Somehow wanting to develop the skill of being fun and funny means I have to belittle others? wtf? I reiterate, I said 'COMEDY' not bullying.....geesh!
Ah, pick up lines, give me a freakin' break buddy! I SAID COMEDY!
I have heard that there is structure in comedy, though, it is seeming to be that I will likel need to research that myself, maybe out on the 'less jaded' Internet.
Oh well good fishing to those of you that can read and understand "whole sentences"..............................................................................................................
Dude, you are 46 years old, I hope by this time tomorrow or at least before hell freezens over, that you understand what people are telling you. I just quoted your very second post in this thread from page one, already, you had taken a swipe at each and every person who posted a reply. Each and Every one, statistically unbelievable, do you EVER LISTEN to people, ever? Oh yeah you have ADD so you can't listen to them, is that your excuse. Oh I forgot, I have ADD too, at least I HAVE LEARNED TO LISTEN without forumulating a critical comeback to any and everyone I interact with. No wonder you can't get a date, and I can.
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:40:46 AM |
I see you're back spreading laughter and cheer huh?
I get it I'm unfunny and you believe that I will never be.
Did it really need as many words(I'm not going to read it...lol) as that!
Then I'll make it shorter as you have a short attention span: It's not because you're not funny. It's because you're rude.
Your responses to people who were helping you were UTTERLY UNACCEPTABLE. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:56:28 AM | OP, what you are simply missing is the point. Laughter and being "Funny" comes from within. If you are happy with yourself, life, family, etc. you're going to feel good. If you are a cynical SOB, chances are you're not happy with something in your life. Take care of yourself mentally first and all those good feelings will overflow. Like I said, it's a state of mind. The ability to see the Irony of a bad situation and roll with it, generally feeling good and light-hearted, etc.? Nobody can teach you that, it's a state of mind and being at peace with oneself.
Stop looking outside for an answer, look within. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/8/2008 6:20:43 AM | "Got Bait?"
Was the intentionally ironic, considering your lack of etiquette in nearly every one of your replies? It really does look as though you're just tossing out the bait in hopes of reeling yet another person into your negativity so you can.....oh, never mind.
Some things (and people) are just not worth the time or effort. The bottom line is, you're an ass....looking for a way to disguise that characteristic by applying humor as a cover. Reminds me of someone.....someone acerbic, rude, sarcastic - yet oddly humorous. Oh! I've got it now! It's that Hugh Lawrie doctor character on TV - House!  One of my best friends has a personality, and the humor to go with it, just like that as well. It works well if you can handle it - but you can't. Childish insults revealing that you are exponentially ignorant also have nothing to do with humor. I don't think you'll ever be able to get it, so I suggest you try something else to impress people. Good luck with THAT!  | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/8/2008 6:35:45 AM | Whatever you do, don't just memorize jokes and repeat them over and over. That really sucks.
I find teasing, sarcastic humour the funniest; the reason being that I can laugh at just about anything having to do with my life and I think it's hilarious when people make digs back as long as it's not mean-spirited.When I'm joking around I also use exaggerated mannerisms so that people KNOW I'm joking. There are times I could have been punched in the face if people thought I was serious. :D
I also don't joke around with people who don't know me very well (unless it's very generic joke)and I have had little contact with. I understand not everyone will "get it". Doing it online is a serious no-no unless you use smilies to your advantage. My type of humour generally doesn't translate well to print.
Just look for the funny things around you and make up a smartazz comment. It's pretty easy.The best thing you can do is know your "audience". If you're unsure, it's safer to just not open your mouth. | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/8/2008 6:54:06 AM | I think being funny is something some people have naturally, others have to work on it and sometimes get it right- and in other cases its just never going to happen.
I think its less about the things you say and about how you say them (the delivery), even if you are telling the funniest joke you have heard (and bare in mind it may only be you who finds it THAT funny) you can ruin it very badly by not emphasisng the right parts of it!
If you feel uncomfortable 'trying' to be funny then I suggest that you just be yourself- and wait until somebody finds you for that reason-and not becasue you are an un-paid comedian??
I have always been known as the joker in my group of friends- I dont tell jokes- I just recount stories based on what I see from day to day that I find interesting- its the way that you tell them though- and I think I got that from my mum- she tells stories really really well and always has.
So to end- its not always what you say its how you say it! | |
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| Comedy How-to, Any advice? Got Bait?
Posted: 1/8/2008 6:54:54 AM | Msg# (all the boys that are unhappy that I do not share there 'complete' view, and want to whine about it)
hmmm, so I am asssessed as "cynical" (I'll let is slide that you just called my mother a ****)
From www.Dictionary.com
—Synonyms 1, 3. Cynical, pessimistic, sarcastic, satirical imply holding a low opinion of humanity. Cynical suggests a disbelief in the sincerity of human motives: cynical about honesty. Pessimistic implies a more or less habitual disposition to look on the dark side of things, and to believe that the worst will happen: pessimistic as to the future. Sarcastic refers to sneering or making cutting jibes: sarcastic about a profession of faith. Satirical suggests expressing scorn or ridicule by saying the opposite of what one means: a satirical attack on his political promises.
As I see it cynical is closely related to 'sarcastic' and 'satirical'. As I understand 'Comedy' is full of both sarcasm and satire. Jokes or opinions are not, nor have ever been, requested by the the OP.
Cynical is not an insult to me these days, I feel quite at home here, my impression of these forums are that there is a common 'disbelief in the sincerity of human motives'.
I read over my responses to posts here and find that the quoted statistics fail to mention when I have given credit where credit is due. NOT all comments and more than one have been of a positive or grateful nature.
Here's another acronym for you boys OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Likely that is what is 'killing' my intentions, in this thread, of molding my cynical nature into something more receptive.
Regards,
a cynical SOM, (son of a mother)
that 'gets it' rude, unfunny, opinionated, cynical | |
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