| The sky is falling!! ... oh, nope wait - it's the poop falling off the fan!
Posted: 1/11/2008 10:40:40 PM | "they started talking... soon after she started spending the occasional weekend with my nephew at his house and a few months after that it was every weekend until she moved back in."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Timing is everything. Your brother knew that she was going back to be with the other guy when he was letting her stay on those occasional weekends. I'd have to say that his eyes were wide open. Why should he feign ignorance now because of a few messages on a cell phone? What if the child is his? She is being alienated for something that they both participated in. The possibility that the child is the other guys' has been there all along. Neither party, he or she, wanted to acknowledge that.
Bottom line......she is almost due and the health of the unborn is relevant. Much like upsetting a child that can stand before us....an unborn child is no different. It makes no difference who the father is right now. It will come after delivery.
I see that the other child has suddenly become a weapon or a pawn. Too bad. ~sigh~
On another note:
You know.....some men do this back and forth thing too in their relationships.....time frames overlapping........ to bad they can't get pregnant. What a wonderful world it would be!!
Ladies......you really should be less judgemental lest you find yourself in the same situation. You Are the right gender. | |
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| The sky is falling!! ... oh, nope wait - it's the poop falling off the fan!
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:55:51 PM | | wow what a b....! you should be there for your brother, don't say we told you so, everyone likes to make their own mistakes, just be concerned about him and his feelings let him know that you are there no matter what don't bad talk her to him-its a sensative issue if he does then let him but dont join in--it will only make him feel worse than he already does...Definately have him file for divorce and custody..have him keep a journal of things that have happened and if he stays with her for now til the baby is born write down daily things that are suspicious and things she does times she is gone things she says--lies she tells-- sometimes women can be evil and manipulative so tell him to stay strong and help him stay focused on the outcome for the sake of his sanity...tell him things will work out for the best and that you will always be at his side to help him get thru this---good luck!!!! | |
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| The sky is falling!! ... oh, nope wait - it's the poop falling off the fan!
Posted: 1/16/2008 10:20:14 PM | My advice: Kick her out. When the baby is born have a paternity test. If it is his assert rights as Father. If not, move on. Why do men and women stay in these abusive relationships. There are so many willing and caring people out there I am told but have not found any myself.
Get away from deceptive, sneaky, lying scumbags and move on would be my frank advice. Harsh, yes. Better off in the long run. If he stays in this relationship he will never trust her and she will never be faithful. The thing is the other guy is probably some loser with who lives with Mommy or another family member.
Why do women always wanna chase the losers? Then they feel disappointed when they bail or their kid ends up with less than adequate upbringing? Baffles me! | |
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| The sky is falling!! ... oh, nope wait - it's the poop falling off the fan!
Posted: 1/17/2008 6:45:21 PM | | Coffee made a good point. Even if this child is not your brother's, it will still be your nephew's half sibling. Regardless of which way the paternity test goes, this child is in your family tree and may be better to start thinking that way now instead of feeling like you need to wait to know. | |
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| The sky is falling!! ... oh, nope wait - it's the poop falling off the fan!
Posted: 1/22/2008 9:49:12 PM | Hi everyone... I have been away a few days and came back to mail and a whole second page on the forums.
Well... things with my brother have certainly not gotten better, much less for his ex and my nephew. I had my mom bring my nephew for a visit this past weekend. When she drove my nephew to his mom she tried calling her cell to no avail. So she told my nephew that she would try seeing if is uncle is home (they are staying at her brothers - who lives in his mother in laws house) my nephew then told my mom... "oh no, we can't do that, what if the lady sees me?" So basically they are staying there without the owners of the house knowing which I'm sure makes it difficult on my nephew to be a kid... ie: can't walk around too much, be quiet... etc... They barely have money for food and to get the child to and from school, she was telling me that at times she can only afford one trip, so she walks a good 45 minutes 8 months pregnant to get to his school in the freezing cold and then takes the bus to her brothers house with my nephew.
My brother... well I'm really mad at him, he feels that because he is not working he can't give her money cause he needs it to pay the mortgage and bills, so his son has gotten an entire 20 bucks in the last 2 weeks!! He has been less then there for his son and quite frankly, short of sticking my foot up his rear, I can't think of a darn way to deal with him, if i get harsh with him on the phone, he either gets angry and hangs up on me or starts crying... he's a mess, and at this point... I blame him for the state he is in, he is an adult he should be able to set his harsh feelings for his ex and concentrate on his son - he hasn't done that! AT ALL!! He tells me he can't face his son cause he looks at him and starts crying. Meanwhile the child was there on Saturday to spend the day with him and all he did was sleep while he told his son to "go play - by himself!" - So yeah I'm a little ticked off at him right now!!
So yesterday I decided to call his ex and offer my help... I will not give her substantial amounts of money, cause she has screwed me over a year ago for a lil over a couple grand ($700 phone bill and a computer). I do not want her in my home, cause well... I don't trust her and I don't feel any responsability towards her anyways... so I offered to take my nephew until she can get on her feet. I can't take the child to school cause we live far from his school and it just isn't viable. All I can do is make sure he has a roof over his head that he can be a kid in, feed him 3 square meals a day and help him study while he is away from school.
She accepted!! So right now it's just a temporary arrangement, after that (if it comes to that) NDL & I will take it one day at a time. And he has been great through this whole ordeal. I couldn't do this without his support.
Suzy | |
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| The sky is falling!! ... oh, nope wait - it's the poop falling off the fan!
Posted: 1/23/2008 10:11:19 PM | | I say he needs to get his son way for her because she's not go for anyone. If the babys his take both the kids divorc her and get on with his life. No child should have to live thought that, with her past he should no trouble getting getting the kids. Once a cheater always a cheater. I also think that they should both be smacked in the back ofthe head for doing that with that poor little boy right there. | |
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| The sky is falling!! ... oh, nope wait - it's the poop falling off the fan!
Posted: 1/24/2008 8:12:33 PM | Twin Girl - she does, her brother was litterally there when the blow up happened so he feels like he has to help her and Im sure he feels bad for her, right or wrong she is still his sister!
As for her other family... they live further, none really have the means to support both her and my nephew much less a new baby, and I'm guessing the reason she hasn't gone to them is because she is ashamed of the situation she has gotten herself into.
My brother taking one or both kids - well I hate to say this, but the only reason I stepped in was because even he is proving to be irresponsible at this time. | |
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| The sky is falling!! ... oh, nope wait - it's the poop falling off the fan!
Posted: 9/10/2008 9:41:11 PM | Not sure how many of you are still around, but I haven't been in ages, so I found this as one of my topics and decided to give an update.
My EX sister-in-law did let my nephew come stay with us and he stayed for a week. She found an apartment in another city, had the baby, and is now living with the father of the baby. (They had a paternity test done and the other guy is in fact the father) Somehow she's still mad at my brother for not having paid half the paternity test.
Now starts the custody battle. | |
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