| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/9/2008 6:48:26 PM | I could give a flying rat's butt what you think of me....
So keep your unasked for comments to yourself, please. They're self serving and no one asked for your opinion or thoughts.
If I want a compliment, I'm gonna want it from someone that matters to me, not
a complete stranger who's motives are unknown.
And that's really what this is about.... no one KNOWS the motives, so why waste your breath. Go to the Art Museum and ooh and ahh there..... not at women you don't know.
Creep factor is right.....  | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/9/2008 7:01:04 PM | | If someone is going to pay me a compliment I'll say Thank you.... for me a lot of times it's over my phone voice.... it's partly because of my job... I'm on the phone alot.... but to say Thanks is a nice thing.... if they try and put a move on me after that??? well I handle it accordingly... no harm done ..... I can deal with it.... | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/9/2008 7:13:38 PM | women might take it as flirting if they like you and are hopeful that's what you're doing.... or if they're unused to receiving compliments and so take it as flirting when they do... or if they are used to receiving compliments as a "means to an end" (the guy means to her end ;))...or for any number of reasons i could guess at, but will quit my burbling now 
i take it as a compliment and am happy for it, nothing more - i've quite often given compliments to women too - if they have a lovely smile or look particularly good in something, so i know it's not always a sexual thing (i'm straight) but more an appreciation of beauty or design | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:42:41 PM | | OP, If you're complimenting ladies based on their looks, then they are quite reasonably going to think you're flirting. A simple smile, can brighten someones day, without having to point out something about them that YOU approve of. Ricky had it about right I believe,.. its an ego thing.. self serving. Thinking your making some ladies day, when in reality, she's probably thinking.." Oh, here we go again." Believe me, even the plainest of women will receive compliments, and most of us know that unless the compliment giver is female, or a very very very old gentleman,.. chances are, its a potential flirting attempt. Miss Eyre. | |
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as~is
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Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 31 | |
| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/9/2008 11:22:50 PM | It *IS* flirting.
The difference is between meaningless flirting and meaningful flirting.
When a ancient toothless fella compliments me, I know darn well he's flirting, but means nothing by it.
The trick is to temper the compliments by making them non-sexual and keeping the quantity down. And don't forget facial expressions, these can make the flirting seem more or less serious. The longer the eye contact, the more serious it is.
There's a guy I work with, he slips compliments into conversation ALL of the time, and innuendo, and facial expressions, and eye contact, and a little bit of closeness at every opportunity. The other day, he said nothing, just used a facial expression and I think that was the most sexual compliment (without vulgarity) that I've ever gotten from a man. I don't know what this gorgeous guy sees in me. It's turned in quite the game between us. It's definately serious flirting, but we're co-workers and that is where it ends and he knows it.
Another guy I work with, he compliments me, but not as often, but he never does it in such a way that I could misconstrue it as flirting. It's rarely about my looks, it's not innuendo, he doesn't make extended eye-contact, and he certainly doesn't make any effort to touch me. He's very professional, and it always makes my day that someone so admirable finds me worth complimenting.
So if you don't mean to be misunderstood, look at more than just they words that you are using. Context is everything. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/10/2008 5:47:52 AM |
So if you don't mean to be misunderstood, look at more than just they words that you are using. Context is everything.
Right, It's not always what you say but how you say it if that makes sense.
I grew up in a large family and the banter,compliments between us,our friends was just a part of life for us.
And that carried over into public life as well, we found that very healthy and human.
I do know that there are some folks who don't like to be complimented and act as if was some kind of threat or that have some other personal thingy going on inside and just like to be left alone which is ok too in that to respect one's space.
We all have bad hair days and I'm no different, yet I am more attractive to the outgoing folks and that makes me feel right at home. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:13:27 AM | When someone compliments me, I graciously say "thank you" and means it...Several times I have had men just walk up to me (several times in malls) and hand me a flower along with a compliment...What a nice gesture that is to recognize someone.
I often say "hello" to people on the street when we pass...so often today, nobody acknowledges people they don't know...I just think it is a nice thing to do...and it makes me happy when they smile and return the greeting. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/10/2008 12:15:52 PM | I would not take a compliment as flirting. I would read into their sharp eye and exquisite taste. I pay compliments even to ladies ... and funny enough, I did it today at my local swimming pool when one lady was about to enter the pool and her swimsuit was just so nice colour-coordinated and delicately shaped  that I could not help but to comment on her wonderful taste for choosing and wearing something so apt and eye plausible. She thanked me, smiled and added the best feature why she's bought it.
Hmm ... it doesn't take much to make someone's day better and bring smile to their face... and likewise. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:52:52 AM | | I love getting random compliments when I'm out, it deff. makes my day!! lol and I never consider it flirting at all unless the guy starts up a convo after the compliment.. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/12/2008 2:47:47 AM |
So keep your unasked for comments to yourself, please. They're self serving and no one asked for your opinion or thoughts.
Wow. Not sure what to say to that one!
Wait, yes I do: In what twisted realm of bad experiences and misunderstandings is a compliment self-serving? 
Reversing the question, ladies: feel free to compliment me. I have a heart that is just open enough to take it in the spirit it was intended and I won't assume you want to marry me and have my children. If you do, in fact, want to marry me and have my children, you'll have to be more direct in conveying that information.
I won't stop complimenting people...occasionally I'll step on an emotional land mine, apparently, but I'll take that risk as I prefer to keep a fairly optimistic view of my fellow humans.
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/16/2008 8:40:02 PM | I don't assume they are flirting, it's just a compliment unless there's
drool running out the corner of the mouth area. Otherwise I say thank you and
you never know when you've just made someone's day.
Sher | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:36:08 AM | How do you, OP, take compliments like, "You are handsome/gorgeous/cute" coming from a 25 year old woman?
I think it's quite natural to think it's flirtation. Because even when the person is saying smiling and saying thank-you, they are generally thinking, "Is he just being nice or flirting?" There's nothing wrong with that either, right? It's just when they are not gracious with acceptance that it is stinky. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/17/2008 4:20:01 AM | When I was younger I could not take a compliment graciously. It made me self conscious. My reaction was to immedialty point out my flaws, and turn beat red and move away quickly.
I dont know why, but going thru your 30's, something happens! Good things...
Now if a man takes the time to stop me and tell me I am looking good, I smile, and say Thank You. I dont assume anything....and it is sweet. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/17/2008 9:36:57 AM | I'm curious to know how we're supposed to be able to tell the difference?
If a guy comes up to me and tells me I look nice, how am I supposed to know if he's just being nice or flirting?
Don't get me wrong, on the rare occassion that it happens, a compliment from a stranger is lovely, but how do we know that's all it's meant to be?
H.x | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/17/2008 11:53:10 AM |
Don't get me wrong, on the rare occassion that it happens, a compliment from a stranger is lovely, but how do we know that's all it's meant to be?
For me, if I am meaning it to flirt, then I stick around and talk a bit. It's extraordinarily rare that if I'm trying to flirt I open with a compliment - it's just too overdone. The whole "Hey, nice shoes, wanna f***?" thing. I prefer to be more original and engaging if I'm flirting.
If I walk up, pay you a compliment, tell you to have a wonderful day and walk off, then I just felt the need to compliment you, or felt like you seemed like you could use a random act of kindness in your day that day. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:10:15 PM | OP:
It's in the way you compliment. Last night I was at a bar, and there was a definite difference between the guy who was ACTUALLY trying to get into my pants and the guy who genuinely liked the way I looked. If you want to give a "sincere" compliment, start by complimenting her on something SPECIFIC.
The guy who was trying to get in my pants was telling me how beautiful I looked, without referring to anything that actually made me look beautiful.
Whereas the OTHER guy who was actually complimenting me, he told me, "Those are really sexy boots, they compliment your legs."
Seriously. If you want a woman to know you're only giving her a compliment, then be specific about WHY you think she is beautiful, rather than just telling her she is beautiful. Or else you will get the "why's he hitting on me" look every time. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:26:46 PM |
It *IS* flirting.
The difference is between meaningless flirting and meaningful flirting.
When a ancient toothless fella compliments me, I know darn well he's flirting, but means nothing by it.
I agree with as~is on this. Flirting is frivolous, no harm-no foul.
Except I would take all flirting as meaningless, it's the response that can shift it to meaningful.
If said senior tells me I have a nice smile, and I respond with "Well, thank you kind sir" it is all in good fun... BUT if I respond with "Aren't you a silver tounged devel! Take out your false teeth, baby, I want to suck on your gums"... now we're talking serious!
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:31:08 PM | Message 43: I'm not sure that works either (just to be difficult  )
A guy came up to me in a bar once and told me I had really nice eyebrows.
I did think this a little odd (eyebrows? really?) but I thanked him, smiled, and walked away.
He later came up to me and asked if he could buy me a drink. He was clearly trying to flirt when I'd taken it that he was just being nice.
H.x | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/17/2008 12:59:55 PM | Compliments are very touchy. I rarely compliment women and when I do it isn't very often (maybe once or twice on a date). Compliments to strangers are VERY rare for me. Here's why. First off, you're talking about complimenting beautiful women. When you compliment a gorgeous girl on her looks, do you realize that you're about the 1000000th guy to compliment her?! She's been getting compliments like that her WHOLE LIFE. It's nothing new to her. Complimenting a stranger on something other than looks is also a bad idea (in my opinion) because you don't KNOW the person. So you approach a girl and make some small talk. Two minutes later you're calling her intelligent, adventurous, etc. You can't possibly know so much about her in such a short period of time and this is going to convey onto her. I've seen this happen SO many times.
My word of advice is simple. Give compliments SPARINGLY and WHERE (and when) THEY ARE DO.
On a side note, about the only "appearance" compliment I'll generally make to a girl is on her shoes - and that's kind of an inside thing I've got going. Most girls ALWAYS look at shoes (from my experience) and RARELY do they get compliments from guys on their shoes because most guys don't pick up on that ;) Of course this is just from my experience, but it's always fun to throw them a compliment like that (especially if you have awesome shoes too). Sometimes I'll look them in the eyes almost seductively and then say "I've gotta tell you. You have the greatest set of..." *staring them down til I get to their shoes* "...shoes I have ever seen." It's great. Just have fun with it. | |
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svj
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Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 47 | |
| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 1/17/2008 4:58:36 PM | First of all this is a post about complimenting women not going after them because of their looks. .........Just because you compliment a women doesn’t mean you are hitting on her. What ego what confidence............... This is not a pick up line!!!!
Remember that this is your first impression to that woman, what you've said is the only thing she has to go on about you.
If you want a positive reaction from women that don't get told that all the time... than your plan likely works just fine. Making a compliment like that makes you different in her eyes.
If you say something to an attractive woman that she hears 4 or 5 times a day from other men that are hitting on her... how is she supposed to know the difference? Variations of "You're beautiful" are one of the favorite opening line of Joe Average Leghumper. Right up there with "Can I buy you a drink?"
Guys, if you ever wonder why you get a negative reaction when complimenting an attractive woman... now you know why. Bullielover62 & Lixiette appears to be good examples of this... look at their pic. They get that shit all the time. (I don't know for sure, but it appears to be the case.)
If you want a positive reaction from women that get told all the time they're beautiful... don't tell them straight out they're beautiful, or they'll immediately put your into "just another horny chump" category.
Tell them something else. You need to throw a curveball, so that she breaks out of her "Oh, great. Here comes another leghumper" routine. For a woman that gets hit on all the time, it's as natural as a Safeway clerk saying "Do you have a club card?" It's automatic.
Try something like "Interesting hair/nails/makeup, etc. If I was a cleancut/artist/goth/whoever guy, I'd probably find it attractive."
A compliment, while simultaneously making it abundantly clear that you're not Joe Average Leghumper.
But once again, every woman's experiences are different, and as such, their interpretations will vary. As stated before, you should get a positive reaction from women who don't hear that kind of thing on a regular basis. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 2/13/2008 8:57:44 AM | I agree with msg 41.
I mean - in other flirting threads some people say that a woman touching her hair means she likes you. So if that means she likes you then surely something like a compliment is even moreso. Personally I don't think touching your hair means anything. And I'm torn about the compliment thing. I think it depends who's saying them and who's receiving them. If a guy you really like compliments you you're naturally going to be wishfully thinking it might be his way of flirting. If it's someone you're not interested in, then you probably won't care and are more likely to brush it off (unless you are freaked out by him in which case it will freak you out even more). I had a shy guy I like tell me he liked my hair one time and I was wondering if that might be his subtle way of flirting... Do guys really say things like 'I like your hair' just to give out a random compliment? No other guy (or even girl) said it, and the guy who said it is quiet/reserved, which is why it confuses me.
I think if you are not interested in a member of the opposite sex but want to compliment it is always better to say something like 'that isn't a flirt, by the way' - just so the person doesn't get the wrong idea. | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 2/13/2008 9:20:56 AM |
Why do women take compliments as flirting?
History dictates it. History based on what men do...sorry.
I try not to read anything into a compliment, but if I thank someone and keep going I'm always questioned for it. I try my best to just take them at face value and nothing else, but i'll be darned if every time I do that, it's always followed up with some sort of come on.
I once said that to a guy after he complained I took a compliment the wrong way -I said "well, thanks I appreciate the compliment and the fact that it has no ulterior motive to it. It's refreshing." You know what he did? He asked me out. So, pfft. Men say stuff like this to save face after a woman assumed it was flirting and they found out there was no further road to travel.
Why else would a man stop and compliment a woman on her looks? Let's be honest. You're hoping she'll compliment you on yours, and you'll end up drinking coffee somewhere. Otherwise, why would you even say anything? | |
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| Why do women take compliments as flirting?
Posted: 2/13/2008 10:49:58 AM | | compliments make me feel insecure around the guy because i don't consider myself a looker....its just plain weird when a guy gives a compliment and doesn't know you...its more creepy than anything else and yes its a sexual thing as far as i'm concerned | |
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