| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:11:15 PM | i've done the same thing and have actually run into a few old friends and flames...especially at my high school reunion last year...it was a blast from the past...some i didn't recognize at first,but it seems according to them i haven't changed at all...lol..yeah right!!
there's nothing wrong with going down memory lane..i mean don't we do that with other childhood memories growing up?....i find i can even recall the feelings that i had at that time...i don't dwell on any of it..i just have fun remembering.they were all a part of my past that helped contribute to the person i am today. | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/22/2008 12:47:35 PM | yesterday's over my shoulder, so i cant look back for too long
cause theres too much to see waiting in front of me and i know that i just can go wrong
(jimmy buffett changes in latitude) | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:55:38 PM | I keep the good memories of the past with me .. and the bad ones in the 'Lessons Learned' file.
Both will help me look forward with knowledge and understanding that
I've improved myself for the next/last relationship that I'll ever need/want !! | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:59:45 PM | | I may have wondered about 1 in my past but I would never act on it or try to reconnect,only way that would happen is if by chance they found me......... | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:21:16 PM | | I think everyone feels this way , unfortunately I did look up an old “flame” and boy was it disappointing. He did remember me, but he had changed (not physically) A LOT and not for the better. Some things are just better left in the past as fond delusions. | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:32:28 PM | Relationships that are in the past are there for a reason, and the reason is usually that there wasn't enough there to keep them going.
While we all get warm fuzzies from reading about a couple who "re-connect" and marry I am pretty sure they are in the minority.
I rarely think about past loves..it is counter productive. | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:41:28 PM | Nothing wrong with pondering the past, as long as you are not longing for it. Looking to the future is the healthy place for your mind to spend it's quality time.
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:46:33 PM | Just an advice: ...(Relationship).in my case & being as old as I am, I have learned to never look back, because I never had anything good to rember in the 1st place, if I had something good to remember about any of my ex's then I would still be there & not here enjoying my singlhood
my motto: always look forward.... | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/23/2008 10:01:54 AM | Who could ever forget their first real date or first real love? Who would want to forget?  I smile even as I think of it now.......... I want to remember happy memories...........it reminds me of what I would like to find now! | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/23/2008 12:01:13 PM | | I've done that a bit I suppose. Looked back and wondered about long past friends. But the past 22 years of being so happily married, has left me with a deep desire to attempt to find someone to spend the rest that I have with. So that leaves me with few thoughts of anthing else. | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/23/2008 8:20:17 PM | I look back occasionally, and remember the good times.
Mainly now, I don't look back or forward.
I enjoy being in the "here and now"
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/23/2008 9:35:47 PM | Before I got married in 1963, I dated heavily. After my divorce in 1997, I just dated sparingly. Then in 1998-1999 I had a spurt of energy and dated somewhat. In 2005 I went crazy and dated heavily and made up for lost time. Why the explanation? I'm coming to that. Even though I've dated and been with many women, I remember each and every one of them from the first to the last. I don't think badly of any of them. Everyone, and there were a lot of them, are very fond memories.
You see, if you are like me, you forget any bad parts of relationships, if there were any. Sure, I still remember some of the bad parts of my second marriage; there really weren't any in my first, but even those parts that are bad, aren't so bad now. And I remember all the wonderful things I did with both my wives, few exclusive girl friends, and other women I dated.
While I don't remember all their names, I do remember their faces and other things about them. No, I think, if the memories are like mine, they're fond ones.
Forward? Yep, I have a number of wonderful female contacts right now. It's going to be a great year! | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/24/2008 10:08:34 AM | I did look up somone, about a year after my separation, and reconnected with my first true love. He became one of my best friends but there was no rekindling of the romantic feelings, as we both had feelings for other people at the time. It was nice to know, though, that I had a confident who knew things about me that none of my current friends do
I have less of an urge to reconnect with my second love, since I left him and he took it very hard. I don't want to revisit those feelings.
As other posters here said, revisiting the past is fine if what you`re looking for is knowledge to take forward, but don`t expect to go back to the past. It just doesn`t exist anymore.
OP, if you're married and wondering about these people from your past, you can label it a midlife crisis or a sign that something is missing in your current life. The ladies from your past won't help you fix that; only you can do that. My advice: find out what's missing and find a way to fix it so that you feel fulfilled. | |
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| Look back or look forward?
Posted: 3/24/2008 10:49:34 AM | Learn from the past in order to not make the same mistakes over and over, and/or in the future.
I once had a great coach tell me to "go slow" in order to "go fast" when playing basketball.......was great advice for life as well.........go slow enough to see what is both behind and ahead, then once known, you will be able to go as fast as necessary to accomplish your goal....... 
Just my opinion........   | |
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