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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:47:10 AM | Well sure, in any case lying should be illegal. But there are too many blurred lines when it comes to lying. The truth is a hazy thing, and who's to say that someone didn't have honest intentions when they started a relationship? And what if the sex was just bad, and not worth the effort that went into the relationship? I'm not advocating the protection of liars, but that type of law would be inherently flawed because it would be entirely interpretation based. What he saw happening one way she saw happen another way, and that is NOT insinuating that it would always be the male on the defendant side, because I know plenty of women that do the same thing every weekend so they can keep a steady influx of "variated gene sequences." Wouldn't the world be a better place if we could throw liars in jail? But it doesn't work like that. Its the responsibility of anyone going into a relationship to be able to discern the truth about their partners. You can't just blame a liar for lying. You have to put some thought behind the relationship too. Those that blindly follow love in this day and age (any for that matter, but especially nowadays) have no excuse, because they should have done their homework and figured out how their partner works. When getting into a relationship, especially in America, the masses seem to forget that human nature is also very predictable in terms of need acquisition and the rough 3-4 period of changes in humans psychologically that redirects goals and basic human drives. This is why were hear about people saying, "oh he/she changed, and we couldn't resolve our differences." Marriage is a great risk in any right, but doing it prematurely is a bad idea, and everyone should understand that. People never take responsibility for their actions, and sure love to pass the blame around for their divorces. With freedom comes great responsibility, and no one seems to understand that. Every time anyone in any set of circumstances goes on a date, they're taking a calculated risk. Both parties should be honest, but the likelihood of that happening isn't so great. Ever notice how flattering pictures may be, but they're definitely NOT accurate reflections of the people they represent sometimes? Guess what, THAT'S dishonesty in its own right. If someone feels the need to take a picture at certain angles to hide certain physical characteristics of theirs, they're giving a misrepresentation to the public. Should they also go to jail?
Interesting topic. Thanks for the rant! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:51:37 AM | Ok being serious for a min here. But dont ask for more than a min. Most of these posts dont deserve more than a min of seriousness. Perhaps after having sex with her he realized that although everything else was ok they were not sexually compatable!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sexual compatability as we all know is a high priority in a relationship. And I'm sure she wouldnt tell you that even if she knew that was it. IS MY MIN UP????????? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:05:32 AM | "he even went has far to manipulate her verbally into sexual intercourse with him by telling her she was acting silly and child like after she told this man 3 TIMES verbally she didnt feel ready for sex with him...but he patronised her verbally by making her feel childish and silly if she didnt!..."
Ok, yes the guy is an ass, but she still made the choice to do it. Why did she not leave or tell him to leave? She still said yes after all of that, so thats on her. She knew she didn't want to but did it anyway and felt like crap later, and that sucks and I feel bad for her, but she did say yes. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:31:53 AM | | No, there souldn't be a law against it. Guys get hurt in a relationship and it affects them so much that they go on to go around using women. Is it so surprising for a guy to have a bad reaction to women when all they know is people leaving them, so now they get what they want and then leave. It saves them the pain of getting attatched and being left again. Men are sensitive. The heart is not something to be messed with on a guy. It decides weather they are good guys or bad guys. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:33:35 AM | 100% THAT'S THE LESSON:
Make them wait for sex, if they are genuine they will wait, if you are a class act of a woman, a man will gladly wait, if he does not want to wait, let him go....any woman that jumps into bed early in the relationship is foolish and I don't believe our legislative bodies are going to make laws against foolish behavior........
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:43:50 AM | Far be it from me to know everything ~ so ~ what we talking about here?
F`cking our way out of a jam? a tight spot? ~ Under false pretense?
like someone couldn't make exact change?
He was presumed wealthy but only had lint an a trouser snake in his pocket!
You thought it was just street varity coke ~ and it turned out to be ~ Peruvian Blue and only stepped on once?
~ there is so many possibilities ~ my mind is going wild here!
I'll say this ~ laws make criminals!!
You want more criminals ? ~ enact more laws?
Laws make people money ~ if it's illegal ~ it raises the value!
The lawyer and judges and court systems ~ love laws!! their bread & butter.
All that said ~ whats going on Kitten? ~ how are your friend having to give it up?
I've never had a piece of tail that was never offered ~ but I know that's not always the way it works.
There are times ~ one can compromise one's self ~ Like, " I was just robbing the register, ~ Two Dimes cut him!"
Humm ~ dar | |
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LBTBM
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Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 287 | |
| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:47:45 AM | If a guy cannot wait and has to manipulate his way into bed, he is not really worth having a lasting relationship with. To anyone who feels they have been manipulated in the past, next time you are being patronized to have sex say 'bye bye, forever'. Or a girl could throw out something like 'I am thinking about waiting until marriage to have sex, what do you think?' Just to see the response. It would make some guys run.
In all fairness, it can be tricky for guys to be motivated by love and commitment rather than sex. But for guys that are intentionally motivated by sex and are not honest about the fact, I don't know what to say. I, too, think they are dogs. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:53:05 AM | OP Msge 272:
Everytime you come back in to try to prove your reasoning, you make your argument even less sound.. I'm sorry, but:
he even went has far to manipulate her verbally into sexual intercourse with him by telling her she was acting silly and child like after she told this man 3 TIMES verbally she didnt feel ready for sex with him...but he patronised her verbally by making her feel childish and silly if she didnt!....
This is one of the very biggest red flags going... If he really loved her and she showed reluctance, then he would WAIT until she felt more comfortable. To give into him without actually feeling the passion, then she probably was less then stellar in her "performance" as well.
By just giving in because she "feared she would lose him" reaks of insecurity and low self-esteem which I suggest you convince your friend to speak to a professional about.
My god... if someone is pressuring you to have sex with them when you're not ready, and after you explain to them your fears (your friend Did EXPLAIN her fears right??).... and they still pressure you then that tells you right there where their mind-set is.
its also a mis-conception that players wont wait around too long for sex....because if the other person is hot enough or hotter than anybody the players had before...trust its the players biggest conquest to date....and the player will hang on in there to win that shining medal! bye all x
I'm not insinuating that your friend is not attractive however: here's another plausible reason: If they wait, it may not be just because one person is super-hot, perhaps it's because they have others that are satisfying him while he waits for you. I would think, that once he does "have" you, that if the sex was good and the "conquest" wasn't generally too high maintenance prior to the "conquest"... than he would come around for more at least while in between trying to win over his next new "victim". Sound feasible???
I've come to my own conclusions in this thread and they are that your friend was most likely to get dumped whether she had sex with this guy or not. She feared loosing him and after months of denying him (and herself for that matter) she just did it to try and keep him (that's what desperate women do when they get pregnant accidently on purpose to try to keep someone). How can either party enjoy something that doesn't come naturally???. I hope she has learned from this unfortunate event ~ then at least next time, she can detect the clues, and make an educated decision on whether or not she'd like to play. If nothing else, she'll come away with her self -worth still healthy when things finally do end because she went in knowing the deal and for what it was worth. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:57:41 AM | WHY SHOULD WE HOLD SEX AS SACRED!!!...
I like to think all people on this forum consider themselves adult , mature and educated! i had this artical from off an internet site on why sex should be something special within love and why people should conform to declines in a sexually loose modern world..which is breeding players male and female! to play with other peoples lives so for all you people who joined this forum justifying players because you also maybe like to have casual encounters......please read on....
One of the things that distinguish man from beasts is sex. Humans conceal it while beasts bare it. When I view a pornography movie, I see a beastly act and my heart aches for the actors.
Having sex is not a sin, but one should 'beware' - yes beware of making sex before falling in love first. Sex without love becomes lust. This kind of pleasure weakens our self-awareness and drives us away from the protection of our own conscience resulting in mental disorder as time goes by. Mother Nature has blessed us humans with the gift of a conscience. Beasts do not posses such a gift!
I believe that there is only one sin. This is, when one destroys nature or hurts humanity. I am a father to nine children and by no means am I against gays or lesbians. Only they know how their biological body is engineered. After all, they are our brothers and sisters. However, whether you are a straight or homosexual person - loving, caring, and keeping to one partner for as long as possible is essential for self-improvement.
Making love and having sex are two separate issues. Apart of the natural sexual activity, to reproduce our species, another dynamic role opens up as we blend love with sexual pleasure in one harmony. Where true love is present, self-awareness will blossom and we enter into a trance, where we communicate with all our senses at the same time. I call this bliss, 'blessed sex'. Yet, apart from this mental and physical shared experience, another and more subtle impact happens to our brain at this stage.
Physical exercise helps bodybuilders to expand their muscles to grow and achieve a stronger body. The same happens to us when we regularly practice blessed sex.
A sort of a psychological muscular space builds up in our memory brain cells where tranquillity reigns. This state of mind keeps us at peace within ourselves. Daily problems, no matter how hard they may be, find refuge in our hearts as now our personality has grown stronger. Because of these healthy qualities, we have opened a window for knowledge and wisdom to flow into our brain.
This phenomenon will help us to cope with stress and resolve most of our mental and physical problems on our own. From where such intelligence comes from, it does not matter! It only matters that we will become wiser. Blessed sex is the key why we should hold sex as something, which is sacred.
The Missing Link.
Do not certain religions' teachings drive their followers into believing that making sex is a kind of a taboo? They also condemn homosexuals and build up many restrictions on how their followers should go about having sex, even within their own religious communities with the vow of celibacy. Why?
Throughout the Ages.
Could there be a hidden agenda about sex, which the leaders of these religions know about, to keep their followers in 'ignorance' - thus creating psychological problems due to sex confusion, so that they can have control over their people?
The more we keep in touch with our senses, the more knowledge flows in. Not necessarily in the act of sex itself, but only blessed sex provides us with the ability to communicate simultaneously with all our senses - an opportunity in growing wiser.
The more we are aware of the benefits this blessing has to offer, the healthier and happier we will be.
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:58:04 AM | in hierarchical dictatorships probably it is easier:
1. if an ordinary man had an affair with a high-ranked girl, the guy had a choice: marry her or being sent to a prison camp to die somewhere in siberia...
2. if a high-ranked man had an affair with an ordinary girl, and the girl didn't understand to shut up, she would be taken to a prison camp along with her family...
in democracy ____freedom____ is the fetish, and cases like this - are the price.
nobody said that democracy is perfect after all...
a hard-liner solution could be a Sex Administration Office: you apply (paying fee of course) to the authorities that the two (or more) of you want to have sexual intercourse permission for a certain period (different prices for different categories and durations) - and the authorities would decide if you get the permission or not.:lol:
sex would be not free any longer, but regulated.
nice new world, a la 1984 :wink: | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:59:00 AM | | Unless they have put something in your drink. This happened to me. Advice? Never answer a profile without a photo, even if they write the most "swept me off my feet" email. Get full name, town they live in and GOOGLE! Get any information you can and do a background check, if possible. If your gut tells you it's wrong, listen to it. Your gut speaks louder than your heart..All my best. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:13:17 AM | From Post 293:
"WHY SHOULD WE HOLD SEX AS SACRED!!!...
I like to think all people on this forum consider themselves adult , mature and educated! i had this artical from off an internet site on why sex should be something special within love and why people should conform to declines in a sexually loose modern world..which is breeding players male and female! to play with other peoples lives so for all you people who joined this forum justifying players because you also maybe like to have casual encounters......please read on...."
Holding sex aas what? Sacred? Sacred? That is a very "loaded" choice of terminology. Thats one opinion!
Another (opinion) says that sex is the exchange of fun and pleasure between two freely consenting adults. That the breeding part of sex is only one part and an optional one today, 2008, especially in times of global overpopulation and the potential of running out of water in the future, etc.
I think I may have a policy proposal that may take care of the problem the Opost has raised, irrespective of (neutral to) the "sacred" dimension.
If many adults do not seem adult enough (contrast that with the part from post 293 that says: "I like to think all people on this forum consider themselves adult , mature and educated!") to not be manipulated by "players", then have the state test and license people before they are allowed to practice sex!
And while we are at it, do the same (special licanse) for people to be able to become parents.
Over-regulation and the natural propensity to legislate have no limits, so let them have their field day.
And while we are at it, let's turn the system into Communist, if we think that adult people have no ability to choose for themselves and use their minds.
Or is it maybe a fault of the US education system, and the policy proposal needed is for an overhaul of the US grades 1-12 education system so that it will produce citizens (in the Athenian sense of citizenship) able to be adults in their decisions when they reach adulthood and not be taken for a ride by players of all kinds? Like the people who borrowed - bought houses at subprime rates/terms? Whose fault is it, by analogy to the case discussed by the Opost and the follow ups to it?
Oh my, this feels like a class from the Paper Chase movie!
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:14:22 AM | if she believed the concept "sex is sacred", why did she have sex before marriage?
many people on this forum already said it....
bottom-line advice,,,,,,just WAIT!
probably what happened is the man was pressing pressing pressing (within legal limits) pressing pressing pressing .....and she was weak: she accepted at one point, got tired of constantly saying "no"...
that's exactly why players press on and on!
0.02 USD
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 6 41 PM
WHY SHOULD WE HOLD SEX AS SACRED!!!...
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Nico, show us just one country where "dating and relationship skills" are part of formal education?
<div class='quote'>
Or is it maybe a fault of the US education system
msg301:
"OP, you certainly are passionate about this topic for it being only "your friend" whom it happened to. Anyone who doesn't see your point is apparently your enemy."
many times women want is just ___listening___and ___understanding___
___empathy___from men especially.
it's hard in this case, because I understand and feel the good-will of the OP, but also disagree that the proposed "legal solution" would be good... | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:17:16 AM | Im sorry Welshfucsia, but you're going into another direction , after reading your posts
Ive come to conclusion that your " friend" is either naive (nothing wrong with that) or just a victim of her own circumstance.
Of course there are men and women out there that will lie and manipulate its been going since Moses was a little boy wearing short pants before he built the arc, or was that Noah?
The point being, your friend ignored the red flags and gave into her desires and to her chagrin the guy turned out to be a bas tard,and she feels violated, you know the simple thing is to say NOOOOO. If the guy cant wait pardon the pun f uck him and tell him to hit the road.
Millions of women are faced with that same scenario everyday and the majority of them say NOOOOOO and realize that Mr Right is actually Mr Right now and gone tomorrow.
This isnt as simple as you think, I realize that once a person falls in love, logic goes out the window, that I realize but too many people in your friends situation ignores red flags, and leave it up to " fate" because they met someone who is attractive, smooth talking and has the characteristics they desire and mean while the red flags start showing up and they CHOOSE to IGNORE them.
Stove top made some good points earlier. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:17:40 AM | Fristly OP: by some of us trying to educate/warn whatever.. we are Not justifying nor do we like to have casual encounters....
<div class="quote">so for all you people who joined this forum justifying players because you also maybe like to have casual encounters......please read on....
It's apparent that you nor your friend like casual encounters. I respectfullysuggest you and your friend drop the tunnel vision and heed some of the advice that's been offered here or you risk history repeating itself.
p.s my friend was trying to build up a loving relationship with this man...but when you have trickters such as this man...how can the world find true happiness! something for everybody to ponder over rather than thinking you know all the answers!!!!
That's easy... by choosing intellegently.
Those that want long term monogomy take the long road of finding those of like mind.
Those that want polymory/casual take the shorter road with those of like mind.
Knowing what you truly want is half the journey. Educating yourself to SEE what you don't want when it crosses your path makes the journey much more easy going and pleasurable.
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:20:18 AM | OP, you certainly are passionate about this topic for it being only "your friend" whom it happened to. Anyone who doesn't see your point is apparently your enemy.
The simple truth is...what you propose is nothing more than using "rape" as an excuse when you decide you made a mistake. You feel so humiliated by having let YOURSELF see only what you wanted to see, that "SOMEONE HAS TO PAY!"
No one ever said life was fair, I've got enough battle scars to prove it, but somewhere along the way a person just has to learn from past mistakes, or be doomed to repeat them. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:46:16 AM | Maybe a lawyer could weigh in here, but wouldn't "alienation of affection" enter here?
Also, if those promises are in writing and unfulfilled, then yes, there are legal grounds for procedure.
OTHERWISE, it's just part of the dating world which has certainly been around for what, forever?!, of boredom after conquest. The boredom could stem on the guy's part, that the girl becomes much more "docile" after his conquest and he's still looking for some spirit and excitement! Give it to him! Tell him no more often! ;-D
If folk followed the recommendations from our seniors NOT to engage in sex until marriage, and IF folk actually adherred to what MARRIAGE is supposed to be, well, there'd be no need for dating sites wherein the posters are so confused...and so repetitious in their behavior and the fallout from others' behavior.
-cmp-
-cmp- | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:58:00 AM | 'fuchsia,
Many of us have regrets over shortsighted decisions we have made while seeking love eternal... It's a shame that many feed on the desires of others whose intentions are more noble. Unfortunately this is the way of life and no law or penalty will change the predator into the nurturer. Just keep in mind we are responsible for our own happiness and how we allow others to treat us and should never become so attached to a potential outcome that we can't walk away. With that being said, we have to learn from our slips and from those of others, listen to those little voices crying out from within- since they are often right and deal with who or what life throws our way.
From birth our bodies develop immunities from periodic exposure to disease. Sometimes it actually has to temporarilly succumb to the effects in order to build the strength to avert the illness at the next encounter. You, or your friend as the case may be have now been exposed. Once you have fully recovered you will be stronger and can more readily deal with the next disease which tries to "promise" his way into your bed.
We are our own best defense.
Good luck to you darlin' | |
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You could always try the old fashioned way - No sex until marriage.
