| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:23:03 AM | I don't think a guy will wait a few months just to get sex from someone. If sex is all they are seeking, if they don't get it within the first few dates, they are gone.
Maybe your friends aren't very good sexually or it is something else. If a guy waits that long, gets it then leaves..... makes me think there is more to it than sex.
Now if a person has sex too soon and cries "played", that is their own fault in my opinion.
If you are smarter than your friends and you say it hasn't happened to you, then maybe you should be giving them some teaching lessons. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:26:38 AM | Please email me the names of the guys who know these tricks to get women to have sex. I'd like to talk to them.
If I read the OP right, the guy's "trick" was to date this girl for MONTHS on end before she gave it up, likely wondering if it was HIM that was preventing things from progressing.
The not giving it up part, THAT trick I know. I learned it from every woman I ever dated.....
(What a RIDICULOUS post....) | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:33:42 AM | Wow.13 pages in one day. I'm not wading thru all of that. No disrespect intended to previous posters.
How are you going to pass laws against people who use false claims of "love" to gain something they want? Look how many men have been "tricked" into situations where women used sex as a lure to improve her socioeconomic standard? I'm not saying THAT'S right, either.
These days, when we so often date and get romantically involved with people that will not suffer some sort of social repercussions for dating under false pretense( like having the gal's dad and/or brothers horsewhip the offender for "toying with her affections") being "dumped postconquest" is just an inherent risk. How to avoid it? Choose singlehood, or hold out for marriage( good luck with THAT)
Sorry you got burnt OP, but it goes with the territory. Next time don't get too attached to the guy until AFTER sex becomes a part of the relationship.
Personally I don't GET why a guy will bust his ass to impress a gal, convince her of real love and honorable intentions, JUST to get into her pants. Wouldn't it be a hell of a lot easier and simpler,to go find a dive bar Dumbelina? But I'm told it's the "chase " thing, and I sometimes wonder if some of the guys who do this aren't simply avenging a perceived wrong done him by another woman.
I seriously doubt that there's any way to legislate against that sort of thing though.
Cindy O | |
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jcolsa
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Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 304 | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:31:52 PM |
Guys get hurt in a relationship and it affects them so much that they go on to go around using women. Is it so surprising for a guy to have a bad reaction to women when all they know is people leaving them, so now they get what they want and then leave. It saves them the pain of getting attatched and being left again.
Surprisingly enough this attitude is not gender specific and these types of players actually have anger problems steming from a previous relationship and are looking for a victim to take their frustrations out on and are not fit to be in a relationship. When they find a victim, in their mind they are not having sex with the victim but rather the person that hurt them. Yah, maybe they should all be herded onto an island where they can all have meaningless sex, and take their frustrations out on each other and somehow be kept away from the rest of society.
WELSHFUCHSIA........I hope your friend will not become bitter over her encounter, but rather learn from it. The "Red Flag" was she felt emotionally pressured into having sex with him out of "fear" of loosing him. The fact that he emotionally pressured her into sex by calling her childish in a deameaning way was actually very childish of him.........and that is what sexual predators do. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:36:41 PM | | I understand totally the point your trying to get across but it does sound absurd about laws against people who trick people into sexual encounters. Unfortunately, there are millions of unscrupulous, lying, cheating dogs out there who will tell you anything to get down your pants... including I Love You's, your the only one for me, I want to marry you... etc, etc. but we as women need to be smart and see through all the bullshit lies and deceit. Remember Actions speak louder than Words.... unfortunately all bets are off in the games of the heart and sometimes we think with something else... rather than our heads when we fall for someone. Speaking from experience, I've been there and done that. Fell for someone who was nothing more than a con artsist with alot of words that meant absolutely nothing! But each experience teaches us a new lesson... next time I'll be smarter!!!! Good Luck to all and Happy Fishing! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:08:34 PM | I actually read all 13 pages  , and I think I finally figured this whole thing out:
she told this man 3 TIMES verbally she didnt feel ready for sex with him...but he patronised her verbally by making her feel childish and silly if she didnt!
OK, he was trying to manipulate her into having sex with him.
she did fear she would lose him if she didnt please him sexually
But here, she's trying to manipulate him into a relationship.
There's a theory that says men will fake intimacy in order to get sex, and women will fake sex in order to get intimacy. I'd say this case is a perfect example of the theory. He was pressuring her to have sex (the intimacy he portrayed was likely indeed fake), while she, afraid to lose the apparent intimacy that she was enjoying, agreed to have sex hoping the intimacy she craves would thus be deepened.
The final verdict: He was trying to get sex from her through fake intimacy, while she used fake sex in order to retain the relationship/intimacy. Both were playing each other, and in the end, both got played.
Case closed.
PS: No, I don't think we need to legislate dating and love. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:19:49 PM | OP, unless you were in the bedroom witnessing the conversation I'm going to take your word with a grain of salt.
Sounds like your 'friend' was embarrassed she got played, lied to, tricked... whatever word makes her feel better.
Have you personally spoken to the man in question and got his side of the story?
And you sound just far too involved in someone elses matters. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:54:41 PM | I think any conscience decisions made by an adult under their own volition...
Well...thats their issue...and to suggest anything of "secondary rape" is rediculous IMHO.
Is it fare to suggest that a woman that leads a man on, in thinking he's going to get laid (like what is done in a strip club) she is guilty of fraud and should be charged with an offense equal to rape...
Crazy talk lady, complete crazy talk... | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 4:18:56 PM | | I would favor a law against being so stupid that you could allow yourself to be tricked into having sex, if you were of legal age and not mentally retarded. In fact I would outlaw anyone having an IQ below average. That would solve most of life's problems in one stroke. And then all we would need to make sure things stayed right is one last law making it illegal to pass any more laws. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 4:38:38 PM |
Soo many people on this forum seem to dish out the advice.............
And you can not seem to listen up.
...if this is the case..these players somehow should be punished and stopped for their selfish behavior because lets be honest and face facts here...their producing a very incredulous and negative world!
Saving the world are we?
I think there is more damage done because guys are not allowed to get it enough. Come on women. Do your part. You know as men we will.
Let me make myself more clear here for all you ones that dont grasp the vital point im trying to make....
I think we did get your point. You just do not seem to see 95% of the posts think you have lost touch with reality.
..he even went has far to manipulate her verbally into sexual intercourse with him by telling her she was acting silly and child like after she told this man 3 TIMES verbally she didnt feel ready for sex with him...but he patronised her verbally by making her feel childish and silly if she didnt!.... so he did use verbal force and manipulation !
that she did fear she would lose him if she didnt please him sexually....
This did not sound like tricking her to me. He is an abusive sob and your friend should have told him to hit the road. But oh wait she might LOSE him. And then she would be alone. So her choice was to have sex or to be alone. She chose. Get over it.
Thank you mikkisue, I would have missed this one if it were not for you. Hardest I laughed today.
How can someone truly trick you into a sexual encounter? Did they squeeze your head and your legs popped open.
Just to keep this silly thread open OP(not that it seems to need it), how would we determine who should be charged and what should the punishment be? Do we clog up our courts even more and would not it disrupt society more if we did rather than have your friend keep her legs together? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:27:35 PM | I think there is more damage done because guys are not allowed to get it enough. Come on women. Do your part. You know as men we will.
Come on women. Do your part!!!!!!!!! Just what the H**** makes you think a woman is obligated to do anything for a man she is only dating? I suggest these types of men simply get themselves a hooker and quit messing with around with women's heads and trying to convince women there is a relationship in it for them, in exchange for physical intimacy.
At least with a hooker or an escort....you get sex with no emotional attachment.......it's as simple as that if that is really what your looking for. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:11:35 PM | Lying to people just to get what you want is certainly a terrible and insensitive thing to do, but you can't make any law against it. You would have to outlaw all forms of lying. Is it fair to make a law against this, but ok it when a woman lies to a man out her level of interest because she is afraid to say the simple words, "I'm not interested".
If you are making somebody have sex against their will, then yes this is unquestionably rape. It's not rape when two adults consentually have sex.
If you want to ensure that the man you are intimate with is being honest, then make him earn your trust first. Maybe even make him put a ring on your finger or wait until your wedding night. It worked for my grandparents generation. All of my grandparents were married before they had their first intimate encounter, and they were married for over 50 years each. | |
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