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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:19:21 PM | There are so many points i would love to argue here, but i read as much of these 14 pages as i could
and am just to sad AND amused at the same time. I don’t care to add to it except for one point:
EVERY person who is looking for someone on POF should read this before contacting any of the
folks who have posted. It might save everyone involved from months of headaches and heartaches.
300 + posts with so many varied opinions so strongly held in direct opposition to the other 299. And,
dare i say it, so many are just comically wrong. So many are destined for more pain, not because of
other peoples actions, but because of their “view” and expectations on this subject.
I need to go find a nice quiet gender bashing thread and clear my head. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:39:39 PM |
because lets face it tricking somebody into bed with lies and conning them with the promise of long lasting love and maybe more!! is kind of wrong!
First thinks first , Of course it's wrong , but that is life . If the person wants to use judgement to go to a private head quarter before you truly know a person whether you meet them online , in a bar , over the phone or what , that is a chance you will be taking EVERY BLOODY TIME!!! COMMON SENSE!!! Tell your friends to use it and stop opening the legs up for common people . There is NO SUCH THING as being tricked into bed . Can you trip and fall and land on a mans private part ? NOOOO!!!! Damn I hate hearing those damn sob stories .
do you truely think the act or practice of deceiving, concealment or deliberate distortion of truth for the purpose of someones sexual gain is duplicity that the law should protect??? and maybe should be seen as second class rape??
Now Next, the fact you compared these "friends" Idiocy to rape makes me beleive that you are just as messed up in the head to ever compare serious sex crimes with your girlfriends bad taste . tsk tsk | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:27:56 PM | The government cannot be involved in every aspect of people's lives. They cannot police every lie, every quirk, nor every part that's not fair. Every time we ask for a new law or some new thing to be watched, that's money that has to come out of everyone's pocket including yours. At a certain point, this borders on turning into a police state. Do you want a camera in your home or in every home to make sure everyone's lives are run and managed just right?
The other thing is that a guy is allowed to change his mind. There may be many men who after the fact realized there was something about the girl he didn't like. So, there is just no way to prove one is a "player."
I think there is more damage done because guys are not allowed to get it enough. Come on women. Do your part. You know as men we will.
For the guys that would put the burden on women to just give them what they want.... that's just sickening. That tells me that those particular men still don't believe that women should be allowed any sort of choice in their lives. That we are to be nothing more than a tool for those guys. Normal men don't have to lie to get sex, so if you have to do that for it, then there is obviously something very deficient about you. It's exactly that kind of attitude that will push women to stay farther away from men rather than draw closer.
For the OP, you're in your 30's so by now you should be able to pick this out better. Be more cautious, more discerning, and go for the nice guys. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:55:31 PM | I think girls/women should hold out long enough to really get to know a person and their lifestyle. I feel as though a person tjhat will sleep with a person b4 getting to know them through their family and/or friends is entering into the kingdom of sluttery. sorry to be so crude; but I am tired of people triing to rush into things and blindly expecting to go on peoples word. slow it down and get familiar with your territory (the road you travel should have a speed limit and lots of visibility.) I could go on forever but i am triing not to. pet peeve. "easy"/"nieve"/"horny" women turn me off.again ....apologies if i come off too strong . | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 8:01:33 PM | No: there shouldn't be a law..you can't legislate a person's intent, motivation or romantic behavior.
Yes: there were red flags that were ignored or rationalized..
Yes: we have responsibility for our decisions...
Having said all that though:
I am disappointed at the number of people who imply (somewhat arrogantly, IMHO) that they have never made any human errors, they ALWAYS make the right decisions, they've never done anything dumb, short sighted or foolish (especially in matters of the heart), and they have always been able to read the intent of anyone they come in contact with. Well, gee, I'm so jealous I'm not that smart, wise and perfect...but, I am human , and far from perfect.
Marrykind made what I thought was a valid point. Many people (and women in particular) when relating this kind of hurt...already know they goofed..they aren't looking for anyone to point is out some more, call them names, and tell them how to fix it. What they are usually looking for is sympathy for the pain? Maybe just a hug and told it will be ok? That's far different from asking for absolution for any mistakes on their part. It is reasonable to feel pain when bad things happen, even if it was your fault to some extent.(Sometimes even more in that case) I surmise that the OP was really supporting her friends pain, more than looking for a legal solution. We all have to live through pain in our lives..and sometimes, what is needed is just the acknowledgment that it is ok to feel it.
Reminds me of the oft repeated axiom..when women are upset..they aren't looking for someone to "fix" it, or tell them how stupid they are..they are just looking for a little empathy...
Would it kill people to be sympathetic to the hurt....even while saying why the premise of a law regulating it would be dumb?
Or, I guess...is it possible for most on POF forums to disagree without calling names, and acting above everyone else?
JMHO | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 8:03:37 PM | in addition.....I agree I wish they could be castrated or something. I feel as though for every woman that cheets their is a potential player created. I seriously believe that is how they start out being players. But by no means is that an excuse by any stretch of the imagination. I think we should network with each other to some how find a way to stop it from happening.......btw you can also google someone if you suspect them of being shady or whatnot ....sometimes it can give you a surprise.  | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 8:16:17 PM |
EVERY person who is looking for someone on POF should read this before contacting any of the folks who have posted. It might save everyone involved from months of headaches and heartaches.
300 + posts with so many varied opinions so strongly held in direct opposition to the other 299. And,dare i say it, so many are just comically wrong. So many are destined for more pain, not because of other peoples actions, but because of their “view” and expectations on this subject
After reading this esad, I'm not entirely sure what your actual view is on this subject. However; I would like to say:
It's the folks that are new to online dating who, it would seem, are the most prone to be "victims" of those that are not sincere in their intentions. That being said, I think it should be Manditory that they read this thread before being allowed to send or receive their first email. Education about the wolves that hide in sheeps clothing can perhaps aleviate some of the headaches and heartaches for these folks.
You say "so many are just comically wrong"... please be so kind as to share with us what it is that you feel is "right". | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 8:44:03 PM | | Are you friken kidding?????? U cant be tricked into a sexual encounter its not like abracadabra my**** inside you. Sounds like your making up excuses for bad decisions made on your part. Second class rape, ive never heard of something so rediciouls. Lifes all about the con keep your head out of your azz and quit giving it up! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 8:59:18 PM | To the OP:
I hope you are joking about this posting. Non consentual sex i.e rape is a serious offense and the person should be punished but having a law that would punish someone if they tricked you in having sex????
It's a choice someone makes whether they want to have sex or not. Two consenting adults are free to do whatever they please. It stinks to be lied to but in dating we all take chances. I'm sure there are men as well as women out there like this.
Don't mean to be rude but that's by far the dumbest thread I've seen on here
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:26:25 PM | | I think any woman that would claim to have been tricked into sex, probably only agreed to sex to try to snag somebody and then found out that he wasn't what he said. It's like money con games, you can only be conned most of the time if you greedy and are also trying to con somebody. If she desired sex and enjoyed sex, she would have no reason to complain that she was conned into having it! I believe that she was only using it as something to get her way. Only think she is mad about is that she sold it for one price and got paid another! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:27:21 PM | Since we need the government to legislate everything, why not have laws protecting the naive, too?
Isn't there enough government regulation?
I know this is farfetched, but how about requiring someone to have common sense and a sense of personal accountability? "Tricked" into sexual encounters? The last I knew, any person has a right to say no, and if forced, then that is rape, and there are laws against that! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:29:29 PM |
to spare ones inner dignity!!
So basically, the real problem here is the sparing of one's inner dignity, right?
Ok, I agree that that is an important objective.
Thats largely why the notion of no sex before marriage came about I think.
Start fooling around before marriage, and expect to be disrespected.
And if you then plead to the law about your inner dignity, the law will laugh in your face, and rightfully so.
Because it is your responsibility to protect that inner dignity with responsible choices, and it is certainly not the responsibility of some creep you are in bed with, or some lawmakers who don't give a darn what poor moral choices you willingly make.
Sorry if I sound harsh, but the world is a harsh place. A person must accept that. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:35:17 PM | WELSHFUCHSIA ...seems like most of the people didn't get what u were saying. I completely understand what u are talking about, my friend was just recently in that situation and she ended up being hurt. The guy was super nice, treated her great, said how he wants a serious relationship, he wanted to hang out all the time and called every single day. They actually dated 2 months before she slept with him and right after he slept with her he started ignoring her phone calls and ended up telling her he is not ready for a relationship and wants something casual. He knew she would have never even slept with him if he told her that he wants just sex. Yes in my opinion, the way my friend was feeling after all this SURE SEEMS SOMEWHAT LIKE A RAPE TO ME. I didn't even know what to do or how to help her, she was devastated. Now all of those people that said how OH no one can be forced into having sex blah blah CMON GIVE ME A BREAK IT'S LIKE BUYING A CAR, IT LOOKS BRAND NEW, YOU TRY TO START IT,.. THERE IS NO ENGINE INSIDE. He was faking it and misrepresenting himself. How could anyone know this???
SERIOUSLY >>>>>> There should be a law against this and those people should be prosecuted . This is same as those people that sleep with other people when they know they have aids, but they still sleep with other people hoping they will infect them cause they have aids and hate the whole world and want everyone else to have aids. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:48:25 PM |
There should be a law against this and those people should be prosecuted. So, how do you propose this be proven? That we just automatically believe one person over another?
The part about AIDS can be proven because tests can be done. Also, there are always medical documents that can show the time at which one was diagnosed.
Maybe you need to make yourself up a contract and try to convince a guy to sign it first before having sex. How many signatures do you think you well get? That might be a good idea to try and weed people out. Granted, it won't hold up in court, but still most guys wouldn't want to put something in writing. Waiting for marriage is akin to waiting until documents are signed. | |
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