| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 7:59:20 AM | | first of all .. i am a woman... get some glasses lady... and what i am saying is if you want a law against stupidity... you are seriously f#$#ed... we all have a brain and can decide who we want to see.. what kind of relationship it will be etc. I think we are all aware that their are users and abusers out there but we need to be smart enough to not let ourselves get into this situation. for a woman to say charge this man because I'm an idiot for dating him absolutely ridiculous | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:03:02 AM | | Puhlease!!!!! Children, male or female, need to be protected from sexual exploitation from adults and the law does so. However, every adult is responsible for making their own decisions regarding who they have sex with. If you're not sure you know someone well enough... well nobody is forcing you to have sex with them. But getting the law involved in this area is absurd. Nobody is responsible for anyone else's happiness or state of mind. People get hurt in the dating world and in the work world and in every other area of life. That's life. Get used to it! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:04:17 AM | Further to my post Msg 22
No tigerwoods i think both men and women who are tricked should be protected not just women! thats defamation of my character...to assume im sexist! but all you know it all,s.... seem to be mind readers and fortune tellers when it comes to the dating game eh!
You've started this thread to get opinions... Please try not to take offense to anyone who isn't of the same mindset as you. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:06:32 AM | Wait! Wait!
According to OP's "logic" if one is "played" its ENTIRELY the other persons fault, there is no mutual responsibility....
So that means for example, A man dates a woman, she gets pregnant after telling him shes on BC, he has the right to refuse to support the child, make her have an abortion or put it up for adoption...After all he was tricked!!
Or
Say a needy, "nice" guy hooks up with a woman...She seems perfect, then she needs money,car,trips,homes..and he provides...After all she seems great. A few months later she dumps him.
Now remeber the guy had rose colored glasses on, he was rather needy, she seemed a perfect match....But she lied! It is not his fault at all!
But of course none of these examples are the other persons fault!! They are 100% "victims".
For christs sakes, is personal responsibility a thing of the past? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:07:17 AM | Other than rape, for which there are already laws on the books, women are in control of when and for whom they spread their legs.
If they dont take the time to really get to know someone before sleeping with him then its their responsibility to accept the consequences of their actions.
Yet, further validation of the point that once you pass 18, there are no victims in matters of the heart, only volunteers.
From the guys perspective, maybe he was exactly who he said he was and she was just so horrible in the sack that he was completely turned off and never wanted to speak to her again. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:07:24 AM | Thanks for that reply edward can i tell you about one of my female friends who had her life destroyed by a game player! the guy led her along for months and months firstly chatting to her online and phone before actual dating in person.. made out he loved her ,wanted her kids ,wanted to transfer his job location to live with her all these promises he gave her before he had the sexual encounter with her...which lead her to believe he was serious totally about her... shes a close friend of mine ..ive known her for 25 years and sexually she doesnt bed hop and she,s maintained her sexual dignity for many years! without night stands and casual sex and was only sexually active with long term loving partners before she hooked up with this player on the net!... anyhows he stayed with her at her house ....after many innocent dates and she thought she knew him and abd the night he stayed at her house she was mislead into sexual encounter with him...just to discover the next day when he left...he dumped her after getting what he set out to get! this doesnt personally anger me because it happened to a very close friend of mine.. it makes me sad for everybody who,s been a victim to these animals! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:08:50 AM | That's a sad story....but there are plenty of them where a man is the 'victim'.
OK...for the sake of argument:
How are you going to determine (for prosecution's sake) that the offender didn't really mean it at the time they said it & only changed their feelings later?
Perhaps he/she DID care for the 'victim' during the initial phase & was only 'put off' later on. Then it's just a matter of hurt feelings because somebody didn't follow thru on what they said they would do/feel.
Are you then advocating that EVERYBODY be held legally accountable for every statement of intent that passes their lips. Or is it just on matters leading to sex?
If so, your friends need to stop placing so much of thier self-worth on the area south of the belt line. Being lied to about sex is not intrinsically more heinous than being lied to about anything else. Some people merely place more importance on it because they feel more vulerable in that area.
You are basically advocating a legal solution to hurting someone's feelings.
Under that type of law a guy could sue you for turning him down for a date....especially if you made up a lie to do it.
Sounds kind of silly doesn't it? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:11:55 AM | The best thing for adults to keep in mind is that when they have sex it's because they enjoy it as much as their partner - that way if anything goes awry they can take away some great memories, regardless of their partner's motives. Besides, since when is sleeping with someone a guarantee of anything? It isn't.
Sure, it's not right to mislead anyone at anytime, but people (adults) should realize that life is not always fair and people like this exist in all walks of life. Just be aware and accountable for your own decisions.
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find .. you get what you need"
~ Rolling Stones
No law can replace common sense ...
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:12:08 AM |
IN MY OPINION and OTHER QUALITY females opinions....VENUS is a FREAK...and not the type of MAN who cares about women...he just says MEN ARE DOGS and get used to it!
Whoa! Wait a minute!
First, Venusfreak is female, not male. I looked at her profile twice just to make sure before I wrote this.
Second, excuse me, but "OTHER QUALITY females"? Who gave you carte blanche to decide who is a QUALITY female? Is there a club that only QUALITY females can join and you are the elected Madam President?
I am a QUALITY female and I don't even know what the hell that entails.
Venus is saying that people are responsible for their own actions. Unless a woman is raped, she IS responsible for spreading her own legs. Every woman (or man) who has been duped by a slick talker saw signs but refused to acknowledge them.
If anything, women need to be taught to be more assertive and less gullible BEFORE the fact, not afterwards.
As for comparing buying a car to choosing a lover--the reputations of car salespeople (note the nonsexist language) are notoriously bad, so most people know to exhibit a little savvy on the car lot. Wise car shoppers check things out.
Personally, before I have sex, I refer to the Blue Book and take the man to the mechanic to make sure all of his parts are working. Then I take him for a test drive.
If he breaks down, I'll just junk him. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:13:36 AM | OP, all such a law would do is protect idiots from themselves. Same as all those people who claim to have been played. It takes two to tango. If you're not smart enough to see a wannabe player for what they are, you forfeit all right to complain when you get played.
People need more common sense and intelligence, and less laws like the proposed one. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:15:27 AM |
after many innocent dates and she thought she knew him and abd the night he stayed at her house she was mislead into sexual encounter with him...just to discover the next day when he left...he dumped her after getting what he set out to get!
Did he actually say to her... well, I got what i wanted... bubye 
Perhaps, if they had been perfectly matched in the bed part of the relationship, he would want to come back for more???? This possibility exists, even if we don't want to admit it.
Did this man just disappear, or did he have the gonads to at least tell her that it wasn't going anywhere else? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:19:52 AM | Unfortunately there can be no laws governing the relations of people. All's fair in love and war. Are these people jerks. Yes! Sex is the number one bestseller in the world and some people will pay for it and some people will do things to satisfy themselves at any and all costs. Many women will pay the price for men only wanting to appease themselves, without any intention of giving back.
Trust and honestly, while the most admirable things, seem to be hard to come by, and the only thing people can do to alleviate this is either blindly trust or let it unfold and be prepared for the worst. Is this a good system? No - but there are no other options other than learning to be happy enough with yourself, so if someone does end up being a deceiving jerk, it won't break you. It will be a lesson learned and hopefully you'll catch the 'red flags' before you become too involved. And no matter what - you can never know anything for sure, so you can only take a chance and hope it works out for the best. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:21:35 AM | I have often found that more than a few men list searching for long term, friends, dating, or hangout in their profiles when really all they are searching for is sex.
honey they don't get laid as often if they are searching for "intimate encounters."
Internet dating, I often say is just as grueling as meeting a mate in a bar or club.
I wrote a poem about my thoughts on the subject.
cyber meat market
just another bad way of meeting your next ex
just like the bar or clubs.
i wish i had a penny for every dud
that tugged my skirt hem wanting
me to look his way i rather drink lye
than go on another cyber date
welcome to the cyber meat market.
see something you like?
make it your target, becareful tho
be sure its real,that deer or doe
maybe fresh kill
you should just take your time
sort the meat, meet the meat
but becareful what you buy
be careful what you eat.
So.....you can prevent yourself from becoming someones conquest by "Not having sex" until you are married.
or
take a chance on love and
Be mature enough to realize dating is like gambling sometimes you find a few good friends you can trust but, most times you find duds.
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:25:34 AM | | This man cowardly shut the book on my friend stove top and she wasnt even worth an axplaination in his eyes.....i just think its unfair! weather its a man or woman on receiving end! and i dont always think it does come down to wisdom and intelligence! theres many clever and manipulating people out there in the world that say and do all the correct things and go all out to gain just sex...and use humans with feelings like they just plucked them from ff a meat counter!...relentless to say the least! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:27:33 AM | Good point by Stove Top! Building on that, since when did "sex" become a currency? There is a significant body of evidence to indicate that sex is a basic human need (Hertzberg) but it would appear that an awful lot of people use it as some form of barter mechanism.
I can't see how anyone gets "misled" into a sexual encounter - unless she was raped (and I h0pe she wasn't) then she wanted to have sex with him. What's the big deal anyway? Sex is meant to be fun and enjoyable.
I'd also seriously question whether anyone is going to hang around for what sounds like months just to "get what he wanted". As with all things, there is probably far more to the story than is being revealed here - not least of which being the fact that the o/p isn't actually the party supposedly hurt by this devilish fiend.
On which note, I have encountered quite a number of women who make it very clear they expect "sex" as part of a healthy, adult relationship. Hey, it happens - and it's called being normal. That I may choose not to take part is a decision I make as appropriate.
Might I suggest a healthy dose of reality?
Mike. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:36:32 AM | OK now its your "friend" (I am amazed at all the posts in these forums where its a "friend") HTF is one "mislead into sex"???
When we have sex with someone its usually because BOTH PEOPLE WANT TO!!!
Now if things don't work out, oh well.
I am now curious because your friend was "tricked" or "mislead" WHY did she do it??? Does she not like sex? Did she not want to have it?
You know as a woman I can tell you men get tired of the "You tricked me!" crap when it comes to sex.It sets womens lib back 50yrs every time a woman screams it. Men are more sexual beings (the physical) but supposedly we are supposed to be smarter.While they are thinking with the little head we are supposed to be using the big one.
Sex is mutually benificial/pleasurable in this day and age...And if a woman is having sex for reasons other than mutual satisfaction (The days are over where we were supposed to lie back and think of England!) Then I question the womans motives in having sex with said partner. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:44:58 AM | Where have all the cowboys gone???
Damn.. guess me and welsh are one of the few who expect people to be generally straight up.. I dont personally think that there need to be laws against people who want to run sexualy rampant from one conquest to the next.. but If thats what your in it for and that is WHAT YOU ARE SAY SO!!! If you are such a STUD then dont be so chicken shit as to hide yourself behind a bunch of veiled promises to unsuspecting women. There is LOTS and LOTS of this going on on the internet as well as other places and IT sucks especially for those of us who are sincerly looking for a mate in life. And have children to raise in the process. This very thing caused me to add to my profile and be VERY specific about what I am looking for and NOT interested in . Im acctualy more in favor of the dont "date him gurl " websites. that post names and stories from women/men who have been victims of some of the worst o f them.. ..and altho I see room overblown ideas I also say that If you dont like that characterization about yourself .. then you may want to look at it some nad consider a change.. These people are "thieves of the heart" and really make it hard for guys that are straight up to get in the door.. those of you guys that are in the later catigory will appriciate that. .. a final comment .. Im not here to put down those who are only here for the play ( as long as they say so ) go for it have fun... nor am I here to pretend to be superior in anyway to them.. but I am supierior to those that LIE to and play head games with those of us who are sincerly seeking .. Ill stand on this anyday of the week!!! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:46:09 AM | Ahhh being tricked into sex !!
Don't that take you back to your youth when you would tell Betty Ann anything she wanted to hear just to get in her pants and it usually took a while and hard work . Once there you realized it was just a conquest and then what ?
When you "Mature " everybody is suppose to be beyond that childish crap .
Life is a learning process and we sure don't need any more laws just my op.
Breezer  | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:46:48 AM | Kabooz said:
but there are no other options other than learning to be happy enough with yourself, so if someone does end up being a deceiving jerk, it won't break you.
True dat
Celticonnection said:
[I can't see how anyone gets "misled" into a sexual encounter - unless she was raped (and I h0pe she wasn't) then she wanted to have sex with him. What's the big deal anyway? Sex is meant to be fun and enjoyable.
Also a good point. However, when one falls in love with the other. And that one knows that the other has fallen, yet has no intentions of taking it any further but still engages, then that is when the hurt to the heart takes place to the fallen one. Now, that being said, OP.. I still believe that your friend saw some red flags, yet she chose to ignore them. After all, if things were perfect in all aspects don't you agree that the "deceiver" in your scenerio would want to continue having sex with someone he actually was enjoying being with... even if she was put on the back burner so to speak...also a less than desireable place in the realm of "romance"
I empathize with your friend, please don't get me wrong... but in more times than not, there are clues that things aren't as rosey as one would like. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:47:07 AM | OP: We all have our personal stories about others who seemingly mislead, lied, circumvented, absconded, etc, with out emotions. Men and women.
But what you're presenting is ludicrous ...
How could you prove something like that?
Even if you could, where's the responsibility of the "victim"? Beyond that, what about feelings that change over time for whatever reason?
If the woman I am dating decides, after x amount of time, be it weeks or months, that she no longer "likes" or "loves" me and wants to move on, should I be allowed to charge her with misleading me? If I don't want to marry a woman after x amount of dating time, should she be allowed to charge me for insincerity?
The list stretches to infinity - as has been said, unless the person has a kept journal detailing their "game" and gives a full confession ... even then, people are responsible for their own actions and choices.
It does suck when you've seemingly been mislead or "played" - trust me, I've been there and been hurt ... yet it's a part of life. You'd need to charge politicians, infomercials, biblical leaders (to some) ... on and on it goes - this cannot be such a selective "law".
Besides, from reading all these forums over many months, would seem at least half the population on POF would be guilty ... | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:51:51 AM | | You beleived what you wanted to believe. Love is an action over time. Flowery word are usually lies... Get used to it. If your chastity means that much. Keap them closed untill after that walk down the isle. I know that is an old fashioned concept. But if having good sex because you were lied to bothers you you might try it. Other than that go with my philosophy was it good while it lasted? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:59:42 AM | | Jesus!!!!.... going by some of the opinions dis-agreeing...life is very cheap! but as they say friends are for life! but men come and go!...hence why im here having my opinions on this subject for a good friend of mine who fell victim of a sexual predator or should i say another man just conforming to his caveman status and getting away with using another human as just meat! without sounding sexist...because iam full aware women also do this sort of thing to men also! but in my defense as a female maybe women are becoming more and more like cavemen..just to rebel against the sexe,s....as the old saying goes if you cant beat them.... join them!...but personally i perfer to use my wisdom from my very male dominated up bringing and conform to monogamy rather date what seems pologamists! the world suffers too much greed and self graticfication and lacks alot of abstinence for the right partner... players just complicate and kill romance and love! ...hence why its wrong! | |
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