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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/9/2009 1:25:40 PM | Angie there would be no REAL way to authenticate a list of that nature. I know youre probably mad to a degree but having an actual LIST of MEN on a website devoted to warning women against their so called "trickery" is kinda like men devoting a list of womens names pointing out they have (insert anything here) problem or issue.
If your name ended up on a list titled "Smells like walnuts" on this website are we going to send someone out to your house to authenticate that? Or did your name end up on the list because somebody was mad at you for some other odd reason.
By the way Im just entertaining your idea, Im not taking it seriously. -big hug for you- | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/9/2009 1:38:20 PM | Angie there would be no REAL way to authenticate a list of that nature.
Sure, the "dontdatehimgirl" site, and whatnot. They're out there. A female friend of mine said she looked at it and laughed - its basically full of pissed off women that got dumped, venting about the "loser" that didn't meet her "expectations" - but 90% of them aren't cheaters or players, just normal guys that weren't interested even though she was, and wanted to vent. "Hell hath no fury..."
Hey, I'm on one of those sites (not that one I guess) somewhere, apparently. I posted to some thread, on-topic, not bashing anyone... this woman replies to me calling me a scumbag and quoting something about (excuse the language ladies) calling women "cum-buckets" and whatnot. Um, I have *never* referred to a woman like that in my life, and never would (as some women on here would know, I've been on here a while). I had to look at my recent threads - to find out it was some immature idiot guy who posted right *after me* who wrote that. I emailed her nicely back saying "um, that wasn't me, I'd never say that, it was (name) after me - think you have me mistaken for him".
... she replied back "don't try to get out of it, a**hole - I'm putting you up on the "X" site (some other 'dontdatehim' site) so other women know you're a mysogenistic slimeball". Uhhh... I tried to reply back, and was blocked. I guess I'm out there somewhere, quoted for saying something I never said - oh well, says more about *her* to me than it does about me, and if someone puts their faith in what that site says rather than chatting with me and getting to know me, says a lot about them too.
But, as far as this thread... states are already closing prisons to save money in this economy, I wonder where the money is going to come from to lock up all these "tricky" people the OP thinks should be locked up because she chose to sleep with them and they broke it off after? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/9/2009 1:46:52 PM | I know there are websites where women (or men) name names of people they have a problem with.
My point is... who in the hell is going to AUTHENTICATE the name of a person on that list with an UNBIASED opinion to validate whether or not someone is/isnt what they were "accused of".
Just because the site exists, it doesnt authenticate someones accusations by simply putting a persons name on it.
Although, that would be an interesting job... POFCSI (Plenty Of Fish Crime Scene Investigator).  | |
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wenzzz
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Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 1006 | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:02:31 PM | omg....this is crazy...forgive me...but as i sit and read i am astonished at the innocence with wi th which u write....or sorry to say the stupidity...forgive me....
i truely believe that if we..man or woman r on sites like these we r taking risks...the same kinds of risks we take when we meet a guy in a pub...both of us half drunk...there are never any absolutes....what u r asking for is a guarnatee that the person u r dealing with is honest...
do we ever really know who is honest or not until we have more info...
to avoid being used just for sex...i have a rule...i never sleep with a guy until i am sure hes a decent person...that may take serveral dates....if he gets frustrated by that i bin him...my man will be a total gentleman...and will waite until im ready....it aint rocket science baby..
....by t he sounds of it shes..ur friend is agreeing to sex on the first date...not very bright....if she is truely looking for lasting love that makes no sense to me.....
its time to take control and give the guys a few boundries..... and girls...get over yrselves and stop blaming the guys..they r just as lonely as us...sure there are mean **stards out tere...but hey...we have this sight to help us communicate with them..and learn who they r to a point....taking responsibility for ourselves is essential for a healthy pshyche...stop blaming....start meditating..
good luck
blessings | |
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rgddkk
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Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 1009 | |
| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/9/2009 6:16:04 PM | | Grant you there are women out there that want to be in love & be loved so much they fall for it they are needy (give in thinking you will get back what you want, without any true commitments, that is on her)... but then if it keeps happening with her making these WRONG CHOICES...she needs a counselor not legal representation. This is not a forceful rape. It is emotionally hurtful, & pride hurt, but not rape, it was concentual. If someone told you they love you & if you will jump off the bridge to show me you love me would you do it? You are throwing your emotional well being off the bridge, it is your choice she isn't pushed. Just because it happened to other women & not you because you are smart enough.. all that other is not your problem your friends you care about, but it is utlimately their choice, maybe you need to teach them to be as smart as you.. We are adults & we have to take responsiblility not to allow someone to use us. I am sure there were signs she chose to ignore because she wanted it to be real instead of listening to her gut...but that would get laughed out of court... she is a big girl... say NO... or go get some counseling. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/10/2009 8:57:00 PM | "Baby I'm only going to stick the tip in, just to see how it feels" DO people still fall for that. You cant trick someone into sleeping with you, they wanted to or they dont. If you find yourself droping your pants after a dinner date and some pillow talk, thats your problem.
People should have a little respect for themselves, it goes a long way. | |
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V00doo
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Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 1014 | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/19/2009 10:23:29 PM | | Tricked into a sexual encounter; are you for real? Unless someone put a date rape drug in your drink; you were not "tricked" into anything. Playing the "Victim" will not get you the type of attention you seek! Then there's your comment " isn't casual sex bla bla bla; should'nt both parties make it clear to each other it is just SEX and nothing more to spare ones inner dignity? Geez; give me a break! The term "Casual Sex" says it all; enough said. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:07:44 PM | | It is really hard to believe the archaeic view points here. Rape is force of sex upon a person...male OR female by force or coercion. This includes lying to get someone to have sex with you. For instance, a man who has separated from a wife and tells her, yes I am coming home and haven't slept with anyone, but gives her HIV or herpes. This would be rape, not by force but by coercion. Also, a man telling a woman he has had a vasectomy in a relationship and he hasn't and gets her pregnant. This also would be rape. There are instances some people haven't been through and maybe couldn't even imagine, but this is why one should not judge until knowing more facts, and definitely shouldn't be judging others until walking in their shoes. The same would also go for a woman who lies to a man and gets pregnant when he has stated he does not want children. These are all examples (true stories) of people in long-term relationships, people who are NOT stupid..for trusting the people they have built a realtionship with. It takes a long time to get to know someone's true character and it can be devastating to find out otherwise. As adults we should learn to be more compassionate and less tolerant of immoral behavior, not be defenders of it. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:29:43 PM | Tricked into a sexual encounter; are you for real? Unless someone put a date rape drug in your drink; you were not "tricked" into anything. Playing the "Victim" will not get you the type of attention you seek! Then there's your comment " isn't casual sex bla bla bla; should'nt both parties make it clear to each other it is just SEX and nothing more to spare ones inner dignity? Geez; give me a break! The term "Casual Sex" says it all; enough said.
Exactly.
Unless a woman was raped, there was no crime.
Consensual sex, is not a transgression. Nothing was "stolen" from her.
If she feels mislead by the events after the "sex", then she's simply immature.
Having sex is, in no way shape or form, a guarantee, or commitment of anything.
Was she "duped"? Who's to say that she didn't "dupe" herself?
And quite frankly, what has she lost, or had taken away from her, by being duped?.... | |
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psssst
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Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 1019 | |
| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:48:39 PM | and maybe should be seen as second class rape?? An unequivocal NO...
Already there are far too many false accusations being tossed out by disgruntled women that are crying rape when they realize that they either...
a) had sex sooner than they felt they should and are now guilty.
b) thought that having sex with someone would cement a relationship and are upset it hasn't.
c) changed their minds after the fact.
To open up another class of rape would simply exacerbate the issue of false allegations and would ruin countless lives. A convicted rapist is a sex offender - plain and simple and to class someone in this category because he didn't follow through and call the next morning is a gross injustice.
shouldnt both parties make it clear to each other that it is just......(SEX) and nothing more... to spare ones inner dignity!! All sex with new partners is casual until such a time that you both agree that you are in a monogamous and serious relationship.
I still don't get the whole tricking into sex thing... you either want it or you don't... I don't see where the shade of grey can be placed into the scenario... | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:31:54 PM | It is really hard to believe the archaeic view points here. Rape is force of sex upon a person...male OR female by force or coercion. This includes lying to get someone to have sex with you. For instance, a man who has separated from a wife and tells her, yes I am coming home and haven't slept with anyone, but gives her HIV or herpes. This would be rape, not by force but by coercion. Also, a man telling a woman he has had a vasectomy in a relationship and he hasn't and gets her pregnant. This also would be rape. There are instances some people haven't been through and maybe couldn't even imagine, but this is why one should not judge until knowing more facts, and definitely shouldn't be judging others until walking in their shoes. The same would also go for a woman who lies to a man and gets pregnant when he has stated he does not want children. These are all examples (true stories) of people in long-term relationships, people who are NOT stupid..for trusting the people they have built a realtionship with. It takes a long time to get to know someone's true character and it can be devastating to find out otherwise. As adults we should learn to be more compassionate and less tolerant of immoral behavior, not be defenders of it.
**Epic fail**
Rape
–noun
1. the unlawful compelling of a woman through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
3. statutory rape.
4. an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.
5. Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
–verb (used with object)
6. to force to have sexual intercourse.
7. to plunder (a place); despoil.
8. to seize, take, or carry off by force.
–verb (used without object)
9. to commit rape.
Please don't insult the women who have actually been physically assaulted and raped, by insinuating that just because you willingly, consciously, voluntarily, spread your legs for some guy and it turns out he was lying to you - you were raped. He may be a liar and a scumbag, that does *NOT* make him a rapist.
Yes, it can take a long time to know someone's character - in fact I would argue that people are always changing, and often more than we will every fully know, even in a lifetime - but just because you discover a facet of their character (ie, lying/cheating) you didn't like, does *NOT* constitute them being guilty of rape. If they lied about (in your example) the vasectomy, the might very well be guilty of fraud (lying to you), but they are not guilty of rape.
Fraud:
–noun
1. deceit, trickery, sharp practice, or breach of confidence, perpetrated for profit or to gain some unfair or dishonest advantage.
2. a particular instance of such deceit or trickery: mail fraud; election frauds.
3. any deception, trickery, or humbug: That diet book is a fraud and a waste of time.
4. a person who makes deceitful pretenses; sham; poseur.
Being lied to is not rape, getting an STD from your SO who cheated on you is not rape - there was a court case in the news recently over this, maybe she'll win, but the case was not about 'rape' but rather for 'emotional/physical/monetary damages' as a result of the STD. I may think the guy was a slimeball loser who can't keep it in his pants, and deserves whatever the court/jury gives him - but he is *not* a rapist by either legal or dictionary definition.
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:12:36 PM | It is really hard to believe the archaeic view points here. Rape is force of sex upon a person...male OR female by force or coercion. This includes lying to get someone to have sex with you. For instance, a man who has separated from a wife and tells her, yes I am coming home and haven't slept with anyone, but gives her HIV or herpes. This would be rape, not by force but by coercion. Also, a man telling a woman he has had a vasectomy in a relationship and he hasn't and gets her pregnant. This also would be rape.
Actually, that would be fraud. Coercion is a threat of physical harm or some other unacceptable consequence for refusal.
As adults we should learn to be more compassionate and less tolerant of immoral behavior, not be defenders of it.
I guess that depends on what you mean by "immoral." If by that you mean behavior that violates someone's rights or defrauds them, I completely agree. If you mean, behavior that I don't happen to like regardless of the fact that it doesn't involve me, no one's rights are being violated, and no one is being defrauded, then I think the morally correct thing for me to do is to mind my own business. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/5/2009 7:37:09 PM |
For instance, a man who has separated from a wife and tells her, yes I am coming home and haven't slept with anyone, but gives her HIV or herpes. This would be rape, not by force but by coercion. Also, a man telling a woman he has had a vasectomy in a relationship and he hasn't and gets her pregnant
Both examples are criminal, but not rape. Again I'll say I'm sorry for the people who went through something like this, but trying to create legislation about what happens in a bedroom is just asking for trouble. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:39:47 PM | OP...
I love the way Dr. Phil puts is when he confronts someone who has cheated on their spouse/partner...
They say they just never meant for it to happen. As if they had NO control over the fact that they ended up having sex with someone.
Dr. Phil will look the person in the eye and say..."So what you're saying is that you never wanted this to happen but somehow without you knowing it...you just ended up at a motel and all your clothes just fell off your body and you ended up having sex?"
Then Dr. Phil will say..."Don't you just hate it when that happens?"
Obviously this is about being pursuaded into sex and not about cheating on a spouse or partner. But the same holds true in this situation. If someone tries to pursuade you to have sex and you just don't feel right about it or think it might be wrong...then just don't do it!!!
If however you allow yourself to be talked into something, then you really have no one but yourself to blame afterwards. Sure they may have been persuasive and what they did might not have been right...but what it all boils down to is...you either say "yes" or "no" to it.
You live and learn in life and if you or your friends have experiences like this...then the next time someone comes along with an insincere line and a pursuasive song and dance...hopefully you'll know enough to say "no" and walk away. Caveat emptor. Let the buyer beware. (Or in this case, the "dater")
Kind regards to all fishies...
...Barbi  | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:40:43 PM | OP...
I love the way Dr. Phil puts is when he confronts someone who has cheated on their spouse/partner...
They say they just never meant for it to happen. As if they had NO control over the fact that they ended up having sex with someone.
Dr. Phil will look the person in the eye and say..."So what you're saying is that you never wanted this to happen but somehow without you knowing it...you just ended up at a motel and all your clothes just fell off your body and you ended up having sex?"
Then Dr. Phil will say..."Don't you just hate it when that happens?"
Obviously this is about being pursuaded into sex and not about cheating on a spouse or partner. But the same holds true in this situation. If someone tries to pursuade you to have sex and you just don't feel right about it or think it might be wrong...then just don't do it!!!
If however you allow yourself to be talked into something, then you really have no one but yourself to blame afterwards. Sure they may have been persuasive and what they did might not have been right...but what it all boils down to is...you either say "yes" or "no" to it.
You live and learn in life and if you or your friends have experiences like this...then the next time someone comes along with an insincere line and a pursuasive song and dance...hopefully you'll know enough to say "no" and walk away. Caveat emptor. Let the buyer beware. (Or in this case, the "dater")
Kind regards to all fishies...
...Barbi | |
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