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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:38:30 PM |
Then Dr. Phil will say..."Don't you just hate it when that happens?"
I don't agree with all that Dr. Phil has to say, but I will admit, he does deliver some damned good lines....
That being said, I do see a lot of people as being very naive... and really, if this was a perfect world, we'd protect the naive instead of hurting them... but it's not...
Sometimes, we do a mis-service to our kids(especially the girls) by over-insulating them to reality... there should be a school of hard-knocks summer camp... where kids get sent to become more self-aware and capable of dealing with stuff...
Men grow from boys and are less trusting and more aware of the 'Dark Side' and I just don't mean Star Wars, but even that is an example....
At the same age little boys were learning about the "Dark Side" little girls are often learning how to play with Barbie and Ken.... (or whoever they are...)
My G/F was over protected by her family... almost suffocated by them... when she got out in the world she was so naive, the world took her and chewed her up and spit her out...
On the other hand, I was much more cynical... I grew up in a tough neighbourhood... we used to joke that it was so tough that people would steal hubcaps by snatching them off as you drove by....
We set women up to be victims by trying to protect them as little girls... we set men up to be predators by encouraging that drive to not be a sucker... to not cry, to not show fear, to be the leader....
If we want to enact laws to protect women, we need to change the way we educate them from children, not to prosecute someone after the harm has been done... | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:41:12 PM | | Well if we are adults then why are we thinking with our sexual organs and not our brains. Ladies, I say as one who was sheltered, live and learn do not make the same mistakes over and over, learn and move on. I know that it hurts our egos but it is not the end of the world. Think twice before you say yes. If you even think it is just a sexual encounter back off, unless of course sexual encounter is all you desire. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:52:30 PM | i dont see it.
first there was no act of force. second there is no unwilling act of cohersion (did i spell that right). you have the right to make decisions based on your own best interests. if you wish to have sex then you can, but its only sex. you also cannot give sex with the intent of it always leading to a relationship. that would turn the table entirely and make you the opressor, hey. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:54:48 AM | | No thank you, false sexual harassment charges is already enough to worry about. I've been accused of sexual harassment before and it wasn't easy to prove to everyone that suddenly turned against me that I didn't do a damn thing to that girl. Even people that knew me well enough to know I would never do such a thing were treating me like I was the scum of the Earth. If a stupid thing like that can get blown way out of proportion what do you think would happen with such laws as your proposing in effect. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:12:20 AM | | Getting tricked?.....a sexual encounter thats not wanted might be considered rape....yes its too bad about the game players...but there on both sides of the coin....meeting a person for a cup of what-ever usually tells you what each are looking for.....not sure what your point is...maybe honesty....Ive been honest with my profile....and most cant handle that or are just plain rude....I have met woman from here and steered away from them because Im no heart breaker and they were to transparent as to what they want....a real relationship....some of you dont want to take chances which is a part of life....remember...the next what you think is a BSER...might be the one your looking for! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/17/2009 9:36:42 AM | | To the OP: I hope you realise that male gender isn't the only one capable of deceipt. I'm sure everyone has read plenty of horror stories involving women lying about their age, intentions and/or birth control where men ended up facing far worst concenquences then a broken heart and dissapointment. I think governmnents should focus on building laws against real crimes, with actual concenquences, before even considering laws who's only purpose is to save your "dignity". Someone wasting your time isn't, and should never be, a crime: get over yourself. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/17/2009 9:49:33 AM | Relationships are all about risk.
Online dating: You risk $20 and a couple of hours of your time to see if he/she looks like their photos and you might have some chemistry.
Dating: You risk that this person maybe using you for their own agenda, and that after spending several weeks/months/years, they decide you just aren't the right person for them.
Marriage: You risk your heart, your finances, make concessions in your career and body to have a family together and limit your sexual experiences only to see it end after your prime years are spent.
So why do we do it anyway...because the rewards of love and companionship are so great. Life is about risk and although we can control it we will never eliminate it. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 7/17/2009 9:50:46 AM | In a perfect world people would be honest and upfront with their intentions and none of this would happen.
I guess to me it depends on how you feel a person tricked you I mean if you they were telling you what you wanted to hear and after a short time you decided to take the plunge than I am not sure that you were using your logical brain in conjunction with your romantic brain. It happens people make the wrong decisions sometimes out of loneliness and deprivation but the best thing is to just shake it off and figure out what went wrong and evolve.
If someone made promises and went to the tenth degree where you really believed them than yes they have lied and conned you and they will have to deal with the negative aspects of only achieving what they want out of cohersion.
Nothing matches two people who freely decide to be loving to each other without games. If they think that they have won some big reward well they soon will realize what they have not won.
I do not believe the law should get involved in peoples relationships they have enough to do and I don't need someone else involved in everything I do I can think for myself. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:02:47 PM | | Evidently there needs to be clarification here...what I meant was if someone was in what they felt was a monogamous relationship...with someone perhaps they trusted, but should not have because that person was lying, that can be used in a court of law as rape. Check your facts. Also, what was implied is that the deception was NOT upfront, but moths, even uyears down the road. It is amazing that the urge is still to blame the victim. It is still WRONG and the perpetrator is at fault, not the person who trusted what he or she was told was the truth. We have a long way to go....it is very sad. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:51:02 PM | gynger, while I can completely sympathize with a woman who has fallen in a relationship under false pretenses(although, in this particular case there would have been some very clear signs against this type of deception that she most likely chose to ignore), this should not be, in any way shape or form, used in a court of law as a case for rape.
Do you not understand the consequences and social implications of false rape allegations? Let's see, first the jail time, which on top of losing years of freedom may even result in an actual rape scenario. Then, once released, he would be classified as a registered sex offender for the rest of his life, he would not be able to find employment, he would be alienated from all of his friends and family and possibly even subjected to vigilante acts of violence from the rest of society. You would basically be ending all meaning to his existence, rendering it unbearable for the rest of it's duration, and for what? A consensual sexual relationship where a woman had regrets afterward. Do you really see this as a punishment that fits the crime? Does a mans life, even a lying one, really have that little value to you?
If you have been duped into a sexual encounter by a liar, their choices will have consequences of their own. You don't have to see this person anymore but in no circumstances should anyone ever seek violent or damaging retribution for being cheated on and certainly not for being deceived into a sexual encounter(and just to be clear about this, this is something that both men and women do). You never owned this person and, as long as they don't cause actual physical harm to anyone, they are free to live their life as they see fit, with or without you.
The only thing that should be illegal here(and I believe it is in a lot of places now) is someone abusing a system that is meant to protect them and using it to hurt someone for their own selfish, irresponsible and over-zealous benefit, not to mention completely belittling actual rape victims in the process. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:32:36 PM |
what I meant was if someone was in what they felt was a monogamous relationship...with someone perhaps they trusted, but should not have because that person was lying, that can be used in a court of law as rape.
I couldn't disagree with this proposal any more. Rape, by definition, means having sex with someone who does not consent to it.
It is amazing that the urge is still to blame the victim.
It's even more amazing the urge of some people to label themselves a victim rather than grow up and act like an adult.
It is still WRONG and the perpetrator is at fault, not the person who trusted what he or she was told was the truth.
If every "wrong" thing was a felony offense, there would be nobody left to run the prisons. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:59:15 PM | The original post:
For anybody concerned....do you think there should be laws against game players that trick you into sexual encounters and dress things up in deceit ...i personally have put up this subject on forums because i have many females net friends who more and more have been a victims of this sort of misleading un-savory behavior! and would like to hear peoples opinions on the subject????? do you truely think the act or practice of deceiving, concealment or deliberate distortion of truth for the purpose of someones sexual gain is duplicity that the law should protect??? and maybe should be seen as second class rape?? because lets face it tricking somebody into bed with lies and conning them with the promise of long lasting love and maybe more!! is kind of wrong! ,isnt casual sex meant to be a both party consented thing on both sides! shouldnt both parties make it clear to each other that it is just......(SEX) and nothing more... to spare ones inner dignity!! tricking sex out of people is so doggish in my opinion and very low life! whats your views?????????
gynger888 wrote:
It is really hard to believe the archaeic view points here. Rape is force of sex upon a person...male OR female by force or coercion. This includes lying to get someone to have sex with you. For instance, a man who has separated from a wife and tells her, yes I am coming home and haven't slept with anyone, but gives her HIV or herpes. This would be rape, not by force but by coercion. Also, a man telling a woman he has had a vasectomy in a relationship and he hasn't and gets her pregnant. This also would be rape.
Are you sure? RAPE?
There are instances some people haven't been through and maybe couldn't even imagine, but this is why one should not judge until knowing more facts, and definitely shouldn't be judging others until walking in their shoes. The same would also go for a woman who lies to a man and gets pregnant when he has stated he does not want children. These are all examples (true stories) of people in long-term relationships, people who are NOT stupid..for trusting the people they have built a realtionship with. It takes a long time to get to know someone's true character and it can be devastating to find out otherwise. As adults we should learn to be more compassionate and less tolerant of immoral behavior, not be defenders of it.
I agree with this last part.
gynger888 wrote:
Evidently there needs to be clarification here...what I meant was if someone was in what they felt was a monogamous relationship...with someone perhaps they trusted, but should not have because that person was lying, that can be used in a court of law as rape. Check your facts. Also, what was implied is that the deception was NOT upfront, but moths, even uyears down the road. It is amazing that the urge is still to blame the victim. It is still WRONG and the perpetrator is at fault, not the person who trusted what he or she was told was the truth. We have a long way to go....it is very sad.
What was the person lying about? The monogamous nature of the relationship? How is that rape?
If you don't want to have sex until you are in a committed relationship, shouldn't you wait until you are married? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/17/2009 11:32:26 PM | Since the OP probably left long ago, I guess we’ll never know if she was persuaded by all the simple, mature, sensible, and logical advice people gave to her – all 42 pages of it…lol.
Nothing I can really add but to reiterate that when people date they “must” be aware of their relationship surroundings and take nothing for granted. That means leaving your infantile gullibility, naivete, and stupidity at the door and date sensibly and intelligently, but realize in the end not all relationships work out. Break ups can occur for ten thousand reasons—and sometimes none at all, at least none that makes sense to you. Don’t psychoanalyze it to death. Take time to get yourself together if you must, but then move on.
If you are of age and have "consensual" sex with a partner, guess what....that's no crime! Legislating human emotion and feelings is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/17/2009 11:42:11 PM | ummmmm....nobody could trick me into sex...I have it because I like it...unless you're talking about taking advantage of someone who is not mentally there..yes there are laws about that.
If you mean lying and professing their love , getting laid , and then leaving. Then no, I do not think there should be laws against this at all. Yes, I do think it's despicable. It should be a lesson learned to your friends ...sex is a big deal, it's not something to play games with , and you need to start with yourself. Then find a man of character. Worry about the sex after that. Picking up guys in bars doesn't count...
I can't think of any other way a guy could 'trick' a girl into having sex....Peace.
edit...lol..I should really start checking the dates on these :beer: | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/18/2009 2:06:18 AM | welshfuchsia.....so lets pretend this....
I am dating this really cool guy who is as charming as ..well he is charming and got all the attributes I enjoy in a human being...and lets say we have been dating for 4 months or so...and finally the day comes when we have s. e. x...(I think that is a long time to wait)...so now I find out what he is all about in that department ....this is where the rubber meets the road so to speak....and I find out that...
he is not what I thought he would be in bed!!!!! I am crushed because he is so vanilla (well never mind that...lol)....and I tell him that I think we should not see each other anymore....
Are you telling me I tricked him into having intimate relations...!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!! | |
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