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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/18/2009 5:13:10 PM | I'm trying to imagine how does the "tricking" work. Let's see... He invited you for a dinner, you open the door of the restaurant and ...ooops... there are no tables, only a bed there. He said it's time to sleep instead of eating, so you undressed and got under the covers. You got tricked!
Or, you've read "interested in long term" and you believed every thing he said ever since.
We are not given those brains for nothing. Listen, think, learn. And most importantly - don't jump into bed when not too sure. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:43:40 AM |
Marriage: You risk your heart, your finances, make concessions in your career and body to have a family together and limit your sexual experiences only to see it end after your prime years are spent.
And even when marriage does "work out," it eventually ends. One or the other of you dies first, leaving the other abandoned and alone after 50+ years. Can you even begin to imagine a more heartbreaking loss? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/19/2009 10:45:24 AM | OP, how do you prove his real motives?
I recall an example in my own life a few years ago. I spend several weeks talking and flirting with what I thought was a perfect woman for me. The moment I got her into the bedroom naked, I was disgusted. How do you explain this to a woman without making things even worse? This only argues in favour of having sex sooner than later. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 8/19/2009 3:02:03 PM | ...Or maybe we could pass a law that women must continue having sex after marriage...
That use to be the law at least in some states until about 50 years ago. A husband could not be arrested for raping his wife.
NCVC.ORG "Until the late 1970's, most states did not consider spousal rape a crime. Typically, spouses were exempted from the sexual assault laws." | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:29:24 AM | Hell no there shouldn't be a law. Some gameplayers actually get off on luring weakminded souls like you into bed. Deceiving, concealment, or deliberate distortion...call it what you want.
Fact is you fell for it and allowed it to happen. In all seriousness it is quite of a turn on knowing some women like you think of it as second class rape..LOL | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:22:10 AM | maybe he dumped you cause you were horrible in bed, or your **** smelled bad,
how the **** are you so thick as to fall for someones lies for months anyways? grow a brain
like the other dude said, no one is raping you so i dont know why you're crying
how about i sue you for wasting my 5 months pretending to love you just to find out you suck in bed and i cant be with you? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:53:54 AM | Absolutely not. And I'm no player. But people have to take personal responsibility for their actions. If a woman allows herself to be tricked, that's her fault. No one told her she had to trust the guy.
Or maybe in many cases the woman wanted sex almost as much as the guy, and she just can't be honest with herself about it. Otherwise she'd make damn sure she could trust him first.
Do you really wanna throw guys in jail for telling women they want a serious relationship when they don't? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:57:55 AM | Tricked into sex? WTF? Laws? WTF?
If this were to happen ALL women would be in jail!!! Lol.
They try to trick us men all the time.
Examples;
Some are only 5 feet high but wear 5 inch heels to look taller. Some have very small breasts but wear a padded bra, some have ones that sag so they decide to get metal re-inforced push-up bras ( see suspension bridge engineering techniques manual), some dye their hair to look younger, insert coloured contacts to make their eyes blue, wear false eyelashes, inject their lips to make them fuller ,etc., And thats just the physical aspect.
I do not think laws should be put into place such as you suggested. It would be impossible to enforce let alone draft a workable document that would meet everyones expectations or desires. I think it comes down to you and your friends. Are you going to buy into the B.S. and play the game, then turn around and blame all men for your stupity? For being naive? Or are you going to learn after the first time it happens and adjust your awareness to what's really right or wrong for you. I mean really, are women that easily duped by men? Do women honestly believe that most men are of the type of character she describes?
I think the poster and her friends need to chill out with the idea of using Legal enforcement and rape associations with the scenarios she descibed. Rape is an entirely different thing. Ask anyone out there whos had it happen.
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/5/2009 5:23:18 PM | OP You have to be kidding me! I have had more than one lady do me the same way. Rape?!?!?!?! Look I have learned that you need to date long enough to really get to know someone before starting a sexual relationship.
I have always been told "believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see"!!!
Sounds like sour grapes to me!!!
Hey on second thought you might have something.......I could sue all the women that put up pic's that are 10 years old or 50 pounds ago. I could sue them for getting my hopes up!!!!
Please grow up and use self control.
If he or she is for real and wants a real relationship they will not mind waiting for you to be comfortable with sleeping with them.
Just my 2 cents!!! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:06:05 PM | Although I do agree that using someone for sex as in some conquest is rather spineless, I say if one is that worried, then keep their pants on until they KNOW they are trustworthy enough for Them to want to share that intimacy with.
There were both good AND bad points to the sexual revolution.
Maybe we women need to set our standards higher and maybe the Men will take their place as well and BOTH sexes will learn some respect for ourselves as well as eachother.
Then again, maybe we'll wake up too. Who knows? Just have to hope for the best and raise our bars a little....If not, Our belts? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:04:19 PM | Welsh" I completly agree with what you are saying. I have found myself in this situation....however, that being said...Its "My Bad" if I dont see it comming, these guys that practice this behaviour will get theirs eventually..but I still say it was "My bad" to go thru with it, I will say this...it has made me alot stronger now, they are the loosers here !! | |
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jwaz
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Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 1069 | |
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pamem
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Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 1070 | |
| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/16/2009 4:02:47 AM | | I don't know how one could deal with this legally, however it is pretty scary when this happens... I mean if you just want sex, why not just be up front about it from the beginning? What's the big deal? Then both parties can consent or not. Why go to all the trouble with elaborate lies, etc.? That's what baffles me... however I have come to realize that men who do that have serious mommy/women issues and to them it's just a game, a power thing. The trickery is what gets them off; somehow they feel avenged for their mommy abandoning them and they feel superficially more powerful. But deep down inside perhaps they feel like they don't matter, so no one else matters either, and if they are callous and cold and un-feeling themselves, then there is no true empathy for another's feelings; they probably can't even comprehend such a thing. They got what they wanted so why should they care how you feel about it? That is called a sociopath, ladies and gents, and they are on this site so beware! I had the misfortune of encountering such a one just recently. There are warning signs: if he rarely asks any questions or seems interested in your life, but only wants to charm you or talk about himself, beware! Check into his background. If he pretends like he is Class A but meanwhile is having raunchy flirtations on his Facebook with biker chicks beware! Facebook him and see who his friends are first. If he tells you he still wants to see you but he can't right now because he has to take care of his ex-girlfriend who is supposedly dying, and meanwhile he is grieving so much that he is having simulated sex on Facebook with soft porn stars, and then he's posting his profile right back up after he's done with you, beware! Especially if he lies by stating that this is his first attempt on this site! That is the kind of gall only a sociopath can possess.... | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/16/2009 4:21:25 AM | Grow-up...there are laws against child molesters....a woman over 21 should be able to distinguish men that are looking for just the physical and if they do get what you called tricked....well...they can walk away.....unless the idiot starts a stalking thing...then the law comes in.....Im on here for intamacy and not a full out relationship and the few I have met....Ive walked away because they are looking for security....and im not....and yes..as ADULTS men and woman should make it clear on whats expected....but games are played....called human nature and it stinks! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/16/2009 5:25:01 AM |
you missing my point karla and totally overlooking what im on about! what if a guy strings a woman along for months on the belief he loves her and she falls in love with him also and feels ok and ready to have a sexual encounter with him...but all along shes just a sexual conquest to him and nothing more! then dumps her when he,s had what he wanted!? i have many female friends who have been soul destroyed by this,, they wasnt forced into sex...the vital point is they were (TRICKED)
A story as OLD as TIME!!! NOT going to stop anytime soon...BTW...if he's capable of this "deception| for a period of MONTHS, then she has BIGGER problems than being strung along...She's pobably dealing with an individual with anti-social disorder, (sociopath!)
And the SOLUTION.....
USE THE BRAINS THAT THE CREATOR GAVE YOU!!!!
Rather than expending all kinds of mental energy on schemes on how to "trap' him, or obssessing over "what he thinks of me!" Women need to become more interested in taking care of themselves and their self-esteem in a respectful and firm manner and learn how to honour their feelings/intuition as much as their ability to rationalize...
In these cases there are no victims, just volunteers...(and NO!!! that is NOT a Dr. Phil-ism") heard it LONG before he was a twinkle in Oprah's eye!!! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:44:39 PM | Thats interesting... I think there used to be a law back the days of France/Old Europe; but it was stricter then because women were more dependent upon men for their financial survival. One could sue for things as alienation of affection or for smearing their name with false intentions. One could actually sue someone they were engaged to if they left them for someone else-- that kind of thing.
Our society has taken a different view of sex... with all the innundation of pornography, sex in our media-- freedom of sexual expression we've been in a rebellious period ,and its confused people; we need to find a balance, and be able to share that balanced education to the people. Of course-- there will always be cads out there unfortunately... its just a given. People come in all shapes, and sizes of integrity including the bad ones. Also, it can be hard to determine the lines in sexuality as far as what is acceptable or consensual unless of course its outright rape. I agree though that
emotional rape can be just as bad.
As far as stringing a woman along-- (or a man for that matter) I think its very painful when a man deceives a woman for sex alone... the issue is that the sex drive distorts rational thinking for many --- not saying that makes it ok-- but its definately one issue to integrate (not being a physician of course). Men are known for having less control in this arena than women.
I do think its important to be honest and upfront right away with someone-- clearly.
Some people are just for the immediate emotion/feeling and arent developed enough to think beyond their sexual organs or to think about how their actions have consequences or affect other people.
In the meantime-- a law for this one? Well it could be done and it might bring some much needed attention to the issue of poor sexual integrity, etc.but it will be a difficult one to define. T hanks for the great topic. | |
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